Dumbfounded, Drake didn’t move. What should he do? Should he go after Natalie? Tell her it was okay that she’d kept the truth from him and his brothers?
It wasn’t okay. He was putting his life on the line for her and the kids. So were his brothers. The very least they deserved was the truth.
“I know Detective Archibald,” Erik said. “He’s an OG and know it all. I can see him being dismissive.”
“Just because he’s an old guy doesn’t mean anything,” Drake said. “Dad was an OG before he retired and was still a heck of a detective.”
“That was Dad.” Erik crossed his arms. “But this guy’s disillusioned by the job and let it get to him. He retires this year. I hear he’s been phoning it in for a while.”
Drake gritted his teeth. “Still no excuse for her lying to us.”
“She didn’t lie,” Aiden said. “She just held something back. I don’t blame her. She didn’t know us. Didn’t know how we would react. Now she does and trusted us with the information. So think about it from that point of view before you go all righteous on her because you got your feelings hurt.”
Drake clamped his hands on his waist. “My feelings—”
“Save it,” Clay said. “This is personal and you know it. You’ve got a thing for her. We get it. Understand even. Just don’t expect us to jump on board your bandwagon when she didn’t do anything wrong.”
Drake stared at his brothers. How could they accept what Natalie had done just like that? Were they right? Was he being a baby because he got his feelings hurt?
“How does it feel to have one of us calling you out instead of the other way around?” Brendan’s voice came loud and clear from the iPad speaker.
“I’m not liking it much,” he said. “But I’m gonna let it go. I need to talk to her.”
After he started for the door, one of his brothers made a kissing noise. He spun to see who, but they all stared blankly at him.
Right. He was getting payback for all the times he’d called them out on so many things. But he couldn’t help it. That was who he was. Who God made him to be, and he was glad of it. At least most of the time. Having discernment was hard at times. It often made him the odd guy out.
“Seriously, man,” Clay said. “Glad to see you found someone who stopped you in your tracks long enough to see what’s out there besides putting your neck on the line in some crazy sport.”
“Never thought I’d see the day,” Aiden said. “But like Clay said, it’s a good thing.”
Drake held the doorknob, feeling the coolness against his palm. “I don’t know if it’s such a good thing or if it’s even true. Sure, I’m attracted to her. Not hard to be. She’s very easy on the eyes. But I don’t think it goes further than that.”
“Aw, man, you’re blind.” Clay laughed. “What she did wouldn’t bother you if you didn’t care.”
“But it bothers you guys, right?”
“We’re over it,” Clay said.
His other brothers nodded their agreement.
Okay, fine. He might be developing feelings for Natalie, but what difference did it make? None. He wasn’t going to get involved. Not with her. Not with anyone. Period.
“You guys get to work on reviewing the victim’s backgrounds. And someone look for other properties Gentry or his wife or extended family might own. Maybe he’s holed up at one of them. And let’s see if we can hack into the account for his in-home surveillance cameras. Maybe we’ll find a lead there. I’ll be right back.” Planning to march into the cabin to let Natalie know what he thought, he jerked the door open and stepped out.
He spotted her leaning against the wall near the cabin door, her eyes closed. His feet stuttered to a stop. A ray of sun landed on her face, and her skin had a healthy glow. She looked so vibrant and peaceful—like a woman who had indeed pierced that armor he’d kept up. All fight and disappointment went out of him. Just like that. Gone.
She’d lost a sister. Her only sister. Not just of natural causes but in the most horrific way. In a senseless violent crime. That was what he needed to focus on. Not his needs. Not his hurt. Not the fact that Natalie didn’t tell him about her sister but the fact that she had to be suffering.
He wanted nothing more than to scoop her into his arms and hold her. Tell her everything was going to be okay. That he would make sure of it. But would it?
She opened her eyes, and her gaze lazily drifted to him. When she saw him, he clearly felt the force of his attraction to her, and he felt her pain so deeply it almost seemed like his own.
Eyes locked with hers, he took the last few steps to her. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“For your loss. I can’t even imagine losing one of my siblings much less my only one.”
“Thank you.” Her voice broke. “It’s been four years, but I don’t think I’ve processed her death. I’ve filled my life up with work and finding her killer. Then to discover that it could be someone I knew, someone I saw on a regular basis. That was something else.”
She shuddered and wrapped her arms around her slender waist. “But I put the pain away. I had to. To get your help. I’m sorry about that. It must look like I used you. Maybe I did. I’m so, so sorry.”
She needed comforting. Desperately. He didn’t care if he shouldn’t encourage whatever was developing between them. His mom had always taught them that human touch could do wonders in balancing out a person’s pain, and he would provide it.
He gently took her hands. Held them, felt her trembling, and his anger rose again. Not at her but at the lunatic who hurt this amazing woman. “We’ll make sure Gentry’s apprehended and put on trial for what he did.”
Her eyes widened. “Then you still believe the pictures are real? That I didn’t fabricate them?”
“Of course. I don’t know you that well, but I know you have integrity and live by your faith.”
“Thank you. I try to.”
“What else can I do to help with your loss?” he asked, feeling bold and terrified at the same time.
“Nothing really.”
“I’d like to give you a hug,” he said, shocked at how timid he sounded. He hadn’t acted this way with a woman since he was an awkward teen. “Would that be okay?”
She sighed, her breath seeming to go on and on. Was she horrified by his question? Fine. He got it. She didn’t want a relationship. Just because he was starting to think in that direction didn’t mean she was.
The last thing she needed was for him to hug her. He got that. Prepared for it.
“Yes, please.” Her words came out on a whispered plea.
He didn’t waste a single moment, not even the time to breathe, and scooped her into his arms. Her slender body melted against him, and he tightened his hold. He reveled in the touch. Felt each point where they connected. Inhaled her simple coconut fragrance.
He almost sighed but kept his feelings to himself. This hug was for her. Not him. She felt fragile and strong at the same time. More importantly, she felt right, as if holding her like this was meant to be.
Is it? Did You bring us together for more than the business of hauling Gentry in and keeping her and the kids safe? If so, I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I have so much more to do. See. Experience.
Natalie’s words came back to him. Was he just keeping busy—seeking the thrill to prove his worth by accomplishing something?
I love you for who you are–My priceless child—not for what you do.
Whoa. He leaned back. He’d really have to give that some thought. But not now. Now he did need to be doing something. Finding a killer and keeping the kids and Natalie safe.
“I should go in and check on the children,” Natalie said. “Your mom has been watching them a long time, and I can’t take advantage of her like that.”
“I’ll walk you in.” He couldn’t resist tucking a stray strand of hair that landed on her cheek behind her ear before clasping her hand and leading her toward the door. He might be enjoying holding her hand, but he squeezed it and let go before opening the door. No way he would encourage his mother’s matchmaking.
She was in the kitchen, and a new savory smell filled the cabin. Willow sat on the couch with Drake’s father, that same large bin of Legos resting between them. Willow’s lip was between her teeth again, and Drake didn’t know how she could stand the chapped skin there. But obviously it brought her comfort. Logan and Sadie must still be napping as they were nowhere to be seen.
His mother looked up from a bowl of dough she was forming into a ball.
“Dinner smells great. I know we only ate a little while ago but…” He grinned and patted his stomach.
“You always were the son who appreciated my cooking the most. Maybe because you burn it off so fast and come back for more.” She chuckled and turned her attention back to the dough.
His dad got up and joined them, lowering his voice. “Willow’s in a funk. Not sure what’s going on, but something is.”
Drake looked at his dad. “I see you tried your usual trick to get a kid to open up.”
His dad glanced back at Willow. “You mean the Legos?”
“Yeah.”
His dad arched an eyebrow. “You knew about that, huh?”
“Was pretty obvious.” Drake grinned. “We were down or troubled by something, and out came the Legos. It took a lot of time to build whatever item you came up with and gave you plenty of time to ask us pointed questions.”
“He’s right, dear.” Drake’s mom smiled. “You thought you were being the stealthy detective, but we all knew. I often wondered why you didn’t build Legos with the criminals you arrested.”
They all laughed, and Willow stared at them as if she took their good humor as a personal assault. Drake could see that. He’d have been sulking as a kid, and he could remember times he wanted to stay mad and his family went on enjoying life without him.
His father’s smile faded. “Might’ve worked on you kids, but Willow didn’t bite.”
“Let me try.” Shocked at the fact that he was offering to help a kid, Drake started across the room. He stopped in front of Willow. “Since you’re not using the Legos, mind if I build something?”
She looked up at him. “Whatcha gonna build?”
Yeah, what? Something an eight-year-old girl would like. “I think I’ll make a castle like in Frozen.”
“You know about Frozen?”
“Sure, who doesn’t?” he said, thankful that one of his fellow deputies had a daughter who was obsessed with the movie.
Willow frowned, her adorable freckled face screwed up tight. “You don’t have the right colors. It needs to be pink and purple.”
“True. But I can pretend.” He smiled. “Say. You know what? I might get it all wrong. Can you help me?”
“I s’pose, but you haveta listen to me or it won’t work.”
“I can listen.” Feeling thankful for the breakthrough, he offered a prayer for guidance and picked up the bin. “How about we go to the table so when the little kids get up, they don’t get into them?”
“The pieces are too small for them,” she said as she slid off the couch. “My mom always told me to make sure to put them away so they wouldn’t eat them.”
“Sounds like your mom’s pretty smart.” He opened the bin then dumped some of the Legos onto the scarred oak table that had lived in his parents’ walk-out basement for years.
He sat and felt eyes on him, so he looked up to find Natalie quietly assessing him from the kitchen where she remained. He nodded, and she jerked her gaze away as if she didn’t want him to catch her looking at him. She was struggling too. Maybe fighting feelings that were developing between them. Having her return his feelings should make Drake feel good, but it didn’t. Not really. Not when he knew it added to her struggles right now. She didn’t need to have another hardship in her life.
“We can pretend the blue is purple,” Willow said, drawing him back. “And the red can be pink.”
“Okay.” He turned his attention back to the plastic bricks. “I like to sort mine by color first. What about you?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“What do you usually do?”
She turned a red brick over and over in her fingers. He noticed the pink nail polish, reminding him of the creepy conversation about Gentry polishing the child’s nails that Natalie shared. Was Willow’s nail color one of the ones used on one of the victims? Was the guy playing out some sick fantasy with his child? Or maybe it was a future color. Or maybe his actions were tied to his wife.
Anger burned in Drake’s gut. How could any adult hurt a child? Especially a child of their own. Drake could never do that. And finally he understood that fierce Mama Bear instinct his mother possessed in droves, and he appreciated her and his dad all the more.
Please. Please, Father, let these kids know the love I did. Do. Know Your love too.
Willow kept turning the Lego, her eyes fixed on her hands.
“What’s wrong, kiddo?” he asked softly.
She looked him in the eye and let go of her lip. “Is my dad dead?”
“Dead? No. Why do you think that?”
“He was in an accident, and nobody will tell me where he is.”
“Oh, right.” He’d gotten the child to open up, but he was stepping in treacherous waters now. Waters he had no experience swimming in, and he feared he would drown.
Willow dropped the brick. “If he’s alive, where is he, and why doesn’t he come get us?”
“We’re not sure where he is,” Drake answered truthfully.
She pushed all the bricks away from her and propped her elbows on the table. “Does he even know where we are?”
Drake searched for the right answer. “He knows you’re with Natalie, and that means you’re safe and taken care of. So he doesn’t have to worry about you and is free to do whatever it is he’s doing.” Like tracking Natalie down. Or even killing another woman.
“He’s never gone somewhere without telling me where he was going. Not since Mom left.”
“Who babysits you when he’s gone?”
“Our nanny. Ulani. She’s nice, but I like Natalie better. I wish she could be our nanny.”
“She is pretty nice.” Drake looked at Natalie, who was leaning against the counter talking to his parents, about what, he had no idea. He hoped the tightness in her eyes and her slumped shoulders didn’t mean his mom was trying to matchmake.
“You like her,” Willow stated.
“I do,” he admitted, surprising himself.
Willow’s little red eyebrows arched. “Do you like her like her?”
When was the last time he heard anyone ask him that? He held back a laugh to keep from hurting Willow’s feelings. He was trying to gain her trust, so he went with the truth. “A lot, I think.”
Willow crossed her arms and slouched in her chair. “I don’t want her to get married.”
“Why not?”
“Because then she’ll have to quit working and become a mom.”
Interesting take on things. “Some moms work.”
“Yeah, but it’s wrong. Daddy told me that. Moms have to stay home and raise their kids. That’s why Mom had to quit her job before I was born. She didn’t want to. She liked working with clothes and makeup. She loves that stuff. Not me. Yuk.” She made a sour face, but then tears wet her eyes. “If she comes home, I’ll pretend to like that stuff this time.”
She picked up two red bricks and pushed them together. Then added a few more. Drake wanted to ask additional questions, but she seemed talked-out, so he started sorting the Legos into colors.
She suddenly looked up. “Is a bad man going to come here?”
“Why do you think that?”
“You and your brothers have guns.”
They’d tried to hide them under their shirts, but they were often revealed when they moved around. “We always carry guns.”
“Always?”
He nodded.
“Does it make you feel safe?”
“Safer, yes.”
“I wish I could have a gun.” Her words came with such emphasis that it tore at Drake’s heart.
“Are you afraid of something?” he asked, trying to keep those emotions out of his voice.
She nibbled on her lip. “Dad once said he thought a bad man took Mom. Now he says she went away on her own. But I think he was lying so I wouldn’t be afraid. But I am. I’m afraid the bad man is going to come back to get us.”
“No man is going to come get you here,” Drake said with vehemence. “I’ll make sure of that.”
“But sometimes you’re gone.”
“Then my brothers or father and mother and Natalie will make sure you’re safe.”
“I like Nana and Papa.” She glanced at his parents. “They said we should call them that because they love being grandparents, and they already consider us their grandchildren.”
He knew his mom meant well, but this child didn’t need to have hopes for grandparents when those hopes would never be fulfilled by his parents.
“But when Dad comes back, they can’t be our grandparents.” Willow’s mouth turned down.
“No, they can’t,” Drake said.
She curled her arms around her body and looked down. Drake had never known such insecurity in his childhood. If only he could give Willow the same security.
What could he do to make her feel safe all the time? Like when she was lying in bed at night, hugging George tight and worrying that the boogeyman was going to climb through her window.
A thought sparked.
“Hold on, kiddo.” He jumped to his feet. “I’ve got an idea. Be right back.”