Daniel spent the next weeks in a daze. He looked forward to seeing Alice, and found an excuse to do so every single day. He had never been seen so often in the little town of Sun River. But, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. It was as if she had some kind of magnetic pull on him, and he was helpless to resist. The memory of that single kiss had embedded itself in his mind, and he longed to take her in his arms and make her his own, for all time. But, he knew he had to give her the space she needed and so he found himself taking picnics with Ellen, meandering walks with Maggie and rowdy suppers amongst all of his friends so he could spend time with her, without running the risk of forcing himself upon her.
He had never known anyone so delightfully sweet and kind. Everyone loved her instantly. Sun River seemed to come alive with the addition of the young woman, and of course gentle Ellen who took everyone under her wing and cared for them as if the entire town was her family. But, with each passing day he knew he longed to make Alice his bride more and more. Yet he was unsure as to whether she was any closer to knowing what she wanted. Their friendship was building, and he knew he had confided in her things he had never told a soul, but there were still things he hadn’t said. He knew he had to; he could not, in all good conscience, ask her to be his wife if she did not know of his past – but he did not know how to do so. Every time he was with her he forgot all about it, got so lost in the present that what had gone before seemed to no longer matter. He did not want to presume there was more to their relationship than friendship – and if he were to talk of Amelia it would make it all too real once more.
“Are you ready?” Alice’s girlish voice called from outside. “Hurry, the falls will not wait for us!” He grabbed at his oilskins and made his way out onto the porch. A cart, filled with his friends was awaiting him. Mack was driving, Annie by his side; Carlton and Myra were sat on one side of the wagon in the back; and Catherine and Tom were sat on the other. Alice was perched at the end, her face lit up as he appeared.
“No Ethan and Maggie?” he asked as he clambered up to sit opposite her.
“Maggie was tired, and Ethan wouldn’t come without her. Her time is drawing nigh. I think she did not wish to be so far from home. And Matthew and Emily have the new show starting tonight, but they gave us all tickets,” she added breathlessly.
“Their loss,” he said, smiling at her excitement. He had never known a woman from a big city to be so easily pleased. Amelia certainly hadn’t been. She had wanted the world, and had often pouted when she did not get it. But, today was about Alice and his future. It did nobody any favors for him to keep thinking back on past loves.
Mack drove the cart expertly up into the mountains. “I am so thrilled we are going to see the falls,” Catherine said. “I have seen so little of the region since I arrived. What with the Saloon, and my Father needing our care it has been a tough time. But, it would seem that good things come to those who are patient.” She smiled at her husband conspiratorially. Daniel looked at them, non-plussed.
“She is trying to make you guess their news,” Myra said with a chuckle. “So when can we expect your little one to join us?” she asked.
“Was it that obvious?” Tom asked, grinning from ear to ear.
“It was the most likely news, and I am happy for you – though I will miss your skills at the school Catherine.”
“I could help out,” Alice volunteered. “I am not as educated as both of you, but I am good with little ones. I can teach them the more practical skills of how to run a home, how to sew and so on. They are skills everyone should have.”
“I should be most grateful, but doesn’t your work at the bakery need your full attention?”
“I have time off, and it would be nice to use it in such a useful way.” Myra shook her hand solemnly, as if agreeing terms.
“Then welcome to Sun River School,” she said. Alice nodded just as seriously, and then everyone giggled as if someone had told the best joke.
Daniel was pleased how easily Alice and Ellen had fitted into the community, and this was yet another indicator to him that she intended to stay. He just wished he knew if she just longed to stay because of the friendship she had found, or if there was something more. If he was even a part of her decision making – but he did not know how to ask. He seemed to get so tongue-tied in the few moments they did manage to snatch alone. He had so much he longed to say, and no idea how to say any of it.
“Oh my,” she gasped as the cool, damp air greeted them as they neared the first of the falls. He moved forwards and wrapped her in the oilskins he had brought. “Thank you,” she said quietly as she clasped them around her tightly. “I didn’t think to bring anything.”
“I didn’t think you would,” he said tenderly as they watched everybody else do the same.
“You should wrap up too,” she said, concern in her cornflower blue eyes. “It wouldn’t do if you were to catch a chill.”
“No it wouldn’t. Poor Frank would never be able to cope without me.”
“I am sure he would, but I am not sure I could,” she said boldly. He was taken aback. It was the most direct flirtation they had shared since Alice’s first night in town. He gulped, unsure how to respond. “I would miss you terribly, have gotten too used to seeing you every day.”
“I would miss you too, though you could always mop my brow and feed me broth?” he asked tenuously, hoping he was reading the signals correctly.
“I could, but I would need to bring Ellen. It would be most improper for a young, unmarried woman to be alone in your home with you.”
“It would indeed,” he admitted, then almost fell into her lap as Mack pulled the cart to a halt.
“Anyone want to take a closer look?” he yelled, turning back and grinning at his passengers, all of whom were scowling at him.
“I would like to,” Alice said, and made to stand. Daniel was not going to let her go alone, it could be slippery on the rocks, and he was determined to keep her safe. He jumped down and lifted her down onto the damp grass. As he lowered her, he could feel the warmth of her lithe body and the touch of her breath on his skin. She shivered a little.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked anxiously.
“Yes, I am quite warm,” she said, gazing into his eyes. Unable to stop himself, he pressed a quick kiss to her damp forehead, and took her hand.
“Come with me, there is a wonderful point to view the falls from just downriver a little.”
“Should we not wait for the others?” He could hear movement in the cart behind them, but he longed to have her to himself for a few moments. He shot a look at Mack, and at Tom. Both of them simply grinned maliciously at him, and continued to prepare to follow them. Then he caught Myra’s eye and sent her a silent plea. It seemed she understood him, as she put a hand to her husband’s chest, and frowned at Tom.
“No, I think we’ll wait here,” Myra said firmly. “I’d like to just sit here and take in the view, wouldn’t you Catherine?” Catherine gave him a searching look, and then patted Tom’s knee.
“I think I am with Myra. I almost turned an ankle last time you brought me up here, have you not forgotten?”
Daniel thanked them silently, he would be sure to do so properly later. But, now he had Alice to himself. He led her to the rugged path that led downstream. She followed him carefully. He couldn’t help but find her look of intense concentration adorable. He was sure that at one point he had even seen her tiny pink tongue poking out of the side of her rosebud mouth as she focused all her attention on the slippery slope. He reached the vantage point first, and stood marveling at the power of the falls. But, his attention was soon back on Alice, who stumbled on the last few steps and fell against him, almost tumbling them both into the frothing water. “Whoah there!” he said gently as he held her tightly.
“Thank you,” she said, her eyes wide with her fear. “I didn’t see that rock, and I just slipped. Thank the Good Lord you were there to stop me.” She snuggled in against him, her body shaking. He held her close, stroking her hair and making soothing sounds. “I think I am well now,” she said cautiously. Reluctantly Daniel released his grip, it had felt so good to have her body pressed against his own. But, she stood up on tip toe and planted a determined kiss on his lips. He was shocked, had not been expecting it, nor did he expect her to be standing in front of him, her eyes full of fire as if she was tempting him to kiss her back.
“Alice, I...” he started.
“Do you not like me?” she asked. “I have been trying to build up the courage to ask you if you did for weeks.”
“I do, more than I probably should. I can barely stop thinking about you – but...” he stopped. How could he explain his reticence? Would she understand how much it had hurt when Amelia had so hurt him. He couldn’t bear to lose Alice in such a way.
“But, did you not advertise for a bride Daniel Harding?”
“I did. But, I am not sure if I had thought it all through when I did that. I was just so lonely.”
“I thought it was just me who had things to work through,” she said gently. “I have you know.”
“Truly?”
“Yes. I came here to escape my unhappy and unfulfilled life. I now have a wonderful job, working with people I love. I am part of this wonderful community, and have made some marvelous friends. There are opportunities for me to give more to my community in a way I never could in Boston. But, I now know what I was truly missing from my life.”
“And that is?”
“You.” Her gaze was unwavering, but he could tell it had taken an immense amount of courage for her to admit that. She was breathing rapidly, and her words had been breathless, and hurried. He wanted to crush her to him and kiss her until both of them had such labored breathing. She was offering him everything he longed for. But, now she had he knew he simply couldn’t say yes. The fear that was ever present in his heart and mind reared its ugly head and he pulled away from her.
“Maybe this isn’t the time, or the place to discuss this,” he said awkwardly. “We should get back to the others, before they worry.”
“Daniel?” Alice said trying to take his hand. He turned from her. He could see the tears forming in her eyes, and could not bear the thought he had caused her pain. But she would thank him for it. He was not good enough for her. Had never been good enough for anyone, and was certainly not good enough for Alice. She was so kind, so sweet, so gentle. She deserved nothing but the very best – and he was not able to give her that. “Daniel please, don’t be this way. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I did not mean to be so bold, did not intend to make you unhappy with me. But I truly thought you felt the same way for me as I do you. You brought me here, because you wanted a wife. I am trying to tell you that I want that more than anything in the world.”
“I know. Please, do not speak of it again Alice. I cannot. I am so sorry. I truly thought that I could – but it just cannot be. Please know it is not your fault. I am sorry.”