Year Nineteen
The mother wolf lay at the front of the cave, exhausted from her agonizing crawl from the den. A small hole told the story of the wolf pups digging at the dirt, curious about the air flowing in, widening the breach until they could each, in turn, wriggle outside.
The mother-wolf’s nose was pressed to the hole. She had made it as far as she could go, her maternal imperative driving her to get out to save her pups, but her way had been blocked. Now she could smell what the lion had done, smell the blood of her offspring.
She heard the sound of the man landing on the floor of the chimney. “No!” he screamed. “No!”
He crawled to her. She did not resist when he picked her up, not even when the pain flashed through her at the rough movement. He carried her gently to the floor of the chasm, laying her down in the light.
He leaned over her, his face wet, smelling salty. “This is my fault. I did not adequately block the entrance. It is my fault they got out. I saw the blood. It is my fault they are all dead.”
He made choking noises. The mother-wolf took raspy breaths. A long moment passed with no other sound.
“It is going wrong,” he finally said. “There are dangers everywhere, and I cannot protect either one of us against them. And even if I manage to survive the summer, winter will come, and that will be the end.”
His hand was on her fur. The mother-wolf took reassurance from the touch. She could feel how easy it would be, now, to close her eyes and follow the deepest sleep imaginable, but she could not.
Not yet.
There was a small noise, startling the man, who whipped his head up and gasped in disbelief at the reason why the mother-wolf could not yet let go.
The female pup stood at the top of the rock pile, gazing down at them, her little tail wriggling. She had retreated to the den when the lion appeared, and managed to escape the fate of her two brothers.
The mother-wolf still had a pup to raise.
The man stood, wiping his eyes, and reached for the little wolf, who bounded into his hands.
Year One
The news stunned the Wolfen: Silex had been deposed in battle with the much larger Duro. Evidence of the brawl was all over their battered faces—Silex had not given up without fighting back with all his strength.
As a tribe they prided themselves on their ability to move out quickly. Silex would leave in the morning.
Silex’s friend Brach had already committed to accompanying him wherever he went, and Silex imagined he might attract a few other Wolfen males as well, the adventurous ones willing to take a chance on splitting from the pack—especially since there were so few unmarried females in the tribe. The parting would be free of enmity. As Silex had already announced, a mating pair might leave the main group but still remain friendly when they encountered one another out on the steppes.
“Fia.” Silex caught up to her standing alone at the edge of the circle of illumination from the fire. She must have heard of the fight by now and known he would seek her out. She stared at him, eyes unreadable in the flickering light. He stopped a few paces away, not trusting himself to come any closer. He ached to grab her; it was like a hunger. “I have been challenged by Duro.”
“I know this.”
“I am leaving. In the morning. Going away.”
Her face glowed in the firelight. “I will miss you,” she finally whispered.
It was as awful as when Duro punched him in the chest. He swallowed, staring at her. “Will you not come with me, Fia?”
“You assume I will just leave the Wolfen, my friends and family, to run off with you,” she accused.
“I did not assume,” he protested.
“Then why did you not ask me first?”
“Ask you? This just happened.”
“Oh, I know that is not true. You did not have the courage to tell Ovi of your bold declarations to me, so you arranged for Duro to take her from you.”
Silex was speechless, astounded she had figured out so much. “That is not entirely true,” he ventured.
“Not entirely?”
“I tried to speak to Ovi. She would not listen to me.”
“So you are a man who cannot stand up to his own sister. Why should I go with you?”
“Because,” Silex pleaded, “I love you, Fia. I think of nothing but you, I want nothing but you. Is it easy for me to leave this tribe, when I lead it and everyone listens to me, and set out with just a handful of others to hunt on our own? It is not easy. I am giving up a lot but I give it up to be with you. Please, Fia, can you not hear me on this?”
He saw something on her face and seized the moment. Now it was him lunging for her, and when he pulled her into his arms it was with a force that surprised them both. His bruised face nearly flinched from the pain when they kissed, but he pressed it, clinging to her, and when he felt her respond he wanted to sing out loud. She did not say it, but her answer was yes. She would go with him.
It was morning before Silex approached Ovi. His sister squatted next to a fire, her mouth set in an unhappy line. Silex crouched next to her.
“I am leaving,” he said simply. There was no way she could not already know.
Ovi stared at the fire as if she had not heard.
“Duro has bested me. He will lead the Wolfen. Brach and his wife are going with me, as well as a few others, men who have no prospects for wives. And Fia. I am taking Fia with me and we will marry.”
Ovi regarded him with eyes that looked weary.
“This will be the best for all, Ovi,” Silex said softly.
“You are the only family I have, Silex,” she replied, surprising him.
“It is not as if I will never see you,” Silex reasoned after a moment. “We will all be following the wolves. It is just now Duro needs the validation of the tribe’s embrace. Once he is secure, I am sure he will greet us all without hostility. And he will be your family, Ovi. As you said, you will marry the leader.”
“So it does not matter what I want. It is decided.” She said this without bitterness, just a resigned acceptance.
“But what is it you want, Ovi?” Silex felt like clenching his teeth. “To marry me? Is that really what you desire? Duro will make you happy.”
“Happy,” Ovi repeated. She regarded him blandly, her eyes full of a dark irony.
* * *
Calli had no appetite. Her teeth tore only the tiniest shreds of meat from the bone when she held it to her lips. Yet everyone thought she was feasting—it was her wedding night! The big fire collapsed in on itself, sparks swirling upward, the light ebbing away. Couples began drifting toward their sleeping areas. When Urs and Bellu stood, holding hands, her brothers cheered and clapped, and Calli turned her face away and vomited cleanly onto the ground.
And then Palloc came to her, holding out his hands, and she nodded, steeling herself, and stood.
“Calli. My wife,” he murmured.
The men of the hunt made their hoots, less boisterous than for their hunt master, but still laughing and stomping their feet.
Calli followed Palloc into the dark. He had spent a few days making a place for them, carefully building up a wall of dirt and rocks and laying thin branches up against them. Underneath this low roof, he had laid out elk hides and a piece of bear pelt that had once, Calli remembered, belonged to his father.
Palloc stirred his fire, adding wood to it, and the licking flames brought their faces out of the gloom. Then he turned to her.
“Are you tired?” he asked solicitously.
“Yes.”
The answer seemed to bother him. He involuntarily glanced at the bed he had made for them.
“Not too tired for … that,” Calli sighed.
He smiled. Gradually, his smile faded. “You have not spoken to me in recent days.”
Calli, rather ironically, could think of nothing to say to that.
“I have … you sometimes make jokes at my expense. Your wit, for which you are well known, can bite.”
This surprised her a little—she would have thought him too thick-headed to know when she was making fun of him. “Sorry,” she said.
They stood regarding each other. “Well,” he declared finally, “you will not be doing that anymore.”
“No, I suppose not.”
Wordlessly, Palloc knelt down, gesturing for Calli to follow him into the lean-to. She limply obeyed, and when he reached for her garments, she helped him remove everything she was wearing. The rough bear fur felt good against her skin.
Unbidden, thoughts of Urs came to her mind. He was with Bellu now. They were doing this very thing, by their fire.
Calli turned her head so that Palloc would not see the tears that sprang to her eyes. When he lay upon her, she reflexively wrapped her arms around him, and his broad chest felt wrong. Urs was much taller but not nearly so wide, nor were his bones as thick and heavy. Palloc’s back was more muscled. Still, in other ways, this was very much like being with Urs. Palloc seemed to know what he was doing, lining himself up in the correct position. Eyes pressed shut, Calli realized how she was going to get through this, how she would be a wife.
By thinking of Urs.
When Palloc’s hands stroked her, they were Urs’s hands. When he fumbled his way into her, she received him as Urs, and even felt the fantasy stir a response. Yes, it was Urs she clung to in the dark.
Palloc’s breathing became labored, his movements fast. She was jolted by how strongly he was thrusting. She blinked her eyes open because she was not accustomed to such forceful mating. Movement caught her vision, and as Palloc groaned in her ear, she looked out by the fire and saw someone crouched there, watching.
Albi. Her mother-in-law.