CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Nick

 

“What?” I asked Jeo. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

We’d finished the pizza, and the residents of Rainbow House had all retired to their beds except for Ellis and Mike, who were playing a game of chess in the front room.

“I could tell something was bugging you on the phone,” he said, wiping down the counter. “You said you were tired. Just wondered if there was more to it than that.”

I paused. I really didn’t want Jeo to know I’d freaked out just because the bathroom door had jammed.

“No, just lack of sleep. And helping Tony get his stuff put away wore me out.”

Jeo finished cleaning the counters, then flipped off the kitchen lights. “I’ll take you home.”

Outside, the balmy night air kissed my skin. Jeo started to climb on his bike, and, feeling suddenly uneasy, I grabbed his hand.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

He stared down at me, eyes unreadable. “Nothing.”

“Come on.” I squeezed his fingers. “You’re angry at me.” I didn’t like the feeling. At all.

“Why would I be angry at you?” he asked and swung his leg over his bike.

He handed me my helmet, and before I put it on, I leaned in and kissed him. At first Jeo remained motionless, but gradually, as my lips moved over his, he began to respond. The feel of his tongue pushing into my mouth made me suck in a breath. He ran his hand through my hair, forehead pressed against mine. I thought he was going to say something, but he didn’t. My heart did a funny little flip.

“You have to come back here tonight?” I asked.

Jeo shook his head, moving mine with it. “No. Gabe’s gonna be here by ten.”

I kissed him again. “Good. Then maybe you can stay with me?”

“Sure,” he said and strapped on his helmet.

Normally, I enjoyed riding on the back of Jeo’s motorcycle, but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I’d somehow made him mad. Or disappointed him in some way, which was even worse.

When we walked inside my building, Jeo said, “Why don’t you go on up in the elevator? I want to take the stairs. I need the exercise.”

I frowned, not letting go of his hand as he started to pull away. “I’ll take the stairs with you.”

“What for? You said you were tired from helping Tony today.”

That was true.

“Go on, Nick. I’ll be up in a minute.”

I stayed where I was even though he was heading for the stairwell. He turned back to me when he reached the door. I glanced nervously toward the hall before turning and walking that way. I pressed the button for the elevator, finger trembling. I could do this. I could take the elevator up eight floors. Nothing would happen. I wouldn’t get stuck in there. I’d taken elevators many times in my life. Nothing to it—just step inside and wait.

I bit my lip. The doors slid open, and I stared into the empty space. Taking a deep breath, I stepped on and turned to face the doors. When they started to close, I frantically reached out and hit the button to stop them.

I stepped back out.

Five minutes later, I still leaned against the wall opposite the elevator. I could hear the night security moving around down the hall, but otherwise, the building was quiet. My eyes flicked up to the numbers above the elevator when they started moving upward. They stopped at the eighth floor. When the numbers gradually began to come down again, I remained where I was and didn’t move when Jeo stepped out.

“Nick,” he said softly.

“I don’t like small spaces anymore. Not since Bruder locked me in a closet. Happy?” I turned my head look at him.

Jeo sagged against the wall. “Not really. I would have rather you told me without the pressure.”

I studied his face. “Why? It’s embarrassing. I don’t like people to know.”

“And I’m just…people?” Jeo surprised me by asking. I wasn’t sure what to reply.

Jeo sighed. “I think I’ll head home. Let me ride up with you first.”

“I can take the stairs,” I said, heading that way. I could hear him striding after me but didn’t stop or hold the door for him as I entered the stairwell.

“Nick,” he said, pounding up the stairs behind me. “Nick, hold on.”

I continued climbing, but Jeo caught up to me between the third and fourth floors. Grabbing me by the arm, he swung me around.

“Why are you running away from me?”

“I don’t know, Jeo, why do you think? I had to ask you to spend the night with me, and then you tricked me into telling you something you obviously already knew. Then, after I said it, you announced you weren’t staying after all.”

He winced and ran his hand through his hair, making it fall rakishly into his eyes. “Sounds bad when you put it like that.”

I clutched my hands into fists and started to respond, then changed my mind and started up the next flight of stairs.

Jeo followed me. When we finally reached my floor and I opened my apartment door, he pushed his way in.

“Go away,” I said.

“I’m sorry.” Jeo placed his hands on my shoulders, but I shrugged them away.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I wasn’t trying to be an ass. I guess it just comes naturally to me.” His lips curved upward.

“Don’t try to charm me,” I spat at him. “I’m pissed at you.”

“I can see that.” He wasn’t being flip; I could see in his eyes that he regretted his earlier actions. He licked his lips. “I guess I was just hurt.”

I frowned. “Hurt?”

“That you didn’t confide in me. I had to ask Tony what was bothering you. Is it that you don’t trust me?” He stepped back. “I guess I can’t blame you for that.”

“I trust you,” I said. “Fuck, Jeo, I let you into my body with that monster cock. Of course I trust you. I just don’t want to look like a fool in front of you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being scared of small spaces after having some psychopath lock you into one, Nick.”

I chewed on my lip and looked away. I knew he was right, but it was still embarrassing. The way I’d acted when I couldn’t get Tony’s bathroom door open—God, if Cane had been there, I would have died. It was bad enough Tony had witnessed it.

“I couldn’t stand being in there and not being able to get out.” I shuddered. “Tony had to bring me a bag to breath into because I was hyperventilating. It was awful. It had only happened about ten minutes before you called. I was still reeling.”

Jeo ran his hand down my arm, and this time, I leaned closer to him, relieved almost to tears when he took me into his arms. Nothing felt better than being held by Jeovanni Mendoza, and why did I have to go and fall for the man? What had made me so attracted to him in the first place? A porn star with a raging libido and huge ego who hadn’t been able to get to work on time.

But even back then I’d seen there was so much more to Jeo.

“I’m not leaving,” he said into my hair. “Even if you want me to.”

For the briefest of moments, I thought he meant he’d never leave me, but then I realized he meant that night. I nodded against him.

“I’ll help you fix this, okay?” Lifting my chin with his finger, he kissed me, nibbling at my lips until I opened my mouth, and then ravishing me while I clung to him. He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around him while he carried me to the bedroom, all the while knowing the night would just be one more tie binding me to him that would hurt like hell when it was ripped away.

But at that moment, I had Jeovanni in my arms and for the time being, he was mine.

 

 

 

****

Dante and Isaac had rented a tent to put up in their yard for the Fourth of July barbecue. Axel and Cane helped them put it up.

We’d decided it would be easier to prepare the food in Isaac’s big kitchen, so several of us opted to spend the night before the holiday there. Not only were we celebrating Independence Day, but we were also celebrating Dante’s graduation from law school and the new job he’d just gotten at a prestigious law firm in Manhattan. I’d brought several brands of mixed drinks in bottles as well as the ingredients to make my special red, white, and blue marshmallow “salad.”

After working for hours in the kitchen, the dogs underfoot and music blaring so we could dance and goof off, a bunch of us rested in the large living room. Lake and Blaze lay down on their sides on the fluffy rug in front of the fireplace, nose to nose, whispering quietly to one another. Morgan and Zeke sat together in the big chair, and Dante and Isaac cuddled on the couch. Caleb and Alex had gone down to the shelter where they lived, promising to be back later. Cupcake and Foghorn would be there in the morning, and so would Tease, Trace, Adam, and Jeo, who had to work until then. Matteo was spending the holiday with his grandmother. I definitely felt like a fifth wheel sitting there with the couples.

Isaac’s cockatiel, Fred, squawked and danced on its perch, bobbing its head and occasionally flying over to sit on the back of the couch and tugging at Isaac’s long hair with its beak. The bird kind of freaked me out, to be honest, and I kept a wary eye on him throughout the evening. If it started eating my hair, I was pretty sure I’d go apeshit.

Tony came in from the front porch, Cane behind him, on his phone.

“Are Nikki and Paul coming?” Tony asked Morgan.

“No. They’re celebrating with Paul’s parents.”

“Sara and Rex are coming with B,” Isaac said. “And you’re going to pick up Aunt Shirley in the morning, right?” he asked Blaze.

“Yep. She’s made banana pudding.”

“Hallelujah!” Dante said. “How I love that woman’s banana pudding.” He winked at his husband. “Almost as much as I love as yours.”

Isaac didn’t look like he believed him, but continued. “Julianne and Gavin will be here. Claire was invited to something at a friend’s house.”

Great. Couldn’t wait to see my dear cousin again. Maybe she could reiterate how I ruin family events.

“Nick, did you invite your friend and his little boy?”

“Yeah, they’ll be here around noon tomorrow. I’ll bet Cooper and B will get along great.” Sara was a friend of Lake’s from high school, and B was her young son. Since leaving her abusive husband, he’d been dating Rex for a few years.

“And Hugh will be here, and Mick, of course.”

“Where is he now, anyway?” Tony asked. He’d perched beside me on the arm of the couch and was massaging my neck in a way that was going to put me to sleep before long.

“Working. He’s a clerk at a store downtown.” Isaac looked at his watch. “It’s almost time for you to pick him up,” he told Dante.

“Kilbourne still bugging him?” Tony asked.

“He’s been quiet, which is more unsettling in a way,” Isaac said.

I remembered the big guy with the septum piercing who I’d seen at The Banana and how Tony had said he’d beaten up Mick twice and that was why Mick was staying with Isaac and Dante. I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing Mick again, as the last time I’d laid eyes on him, he’d been in bed with Jeo.

As though reading my mind, Tony increased the pressure of his massage of my neck.

Dante stood and stretched as Isaac started to list the food we were having for the party.

“Hot dogs, hamburgers, coleslaw, potato salad, baked beans, chips, chocolate cake, pickles, cut up vegetables with dip. And Sara’s bringing a macaroni salad and some chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and Aunt Shirley’s banana pudding and Nick’s red, white, and blue marshmallow salad.”

“My friend’s bringing some brownies and extra sparklers and some vegan hot dogs,” I said.

“And Julianne’s bringing a tossed salad and a couple of pies. We should have plenty.” Isaac relaxed back onto the pillow Dante had vacated.

“Be right back.” Dante headed for the door, keys in hand.

Tony had left off massaging and started lightly tugging at the roots of my hair, which felt even better, and my eyes were getting heavy. Fred had settled down on his perch and was digging around beneath his feathers. I was pretty sure Blaze and Lake had fallen asleep. I listened to Tony talk to Morgan and Zeke, snippets of conversation moving in and out of my mind, becoming meshed with the gentle breathing of one of the dogs on the floor beside the couch and visions of the food we’d prepared earlier. Tony moved to sit beside me, patting his lap so I’d put my head there. He continued playing with my hair and talking to Isaac while I slept. I was only vaguely aware when Dante and Mick arrived.

A familiar voice pierced my dream of Jeo carrying an armful of bananas. I thought it was part of the dream until strong arms picked me up and carried me up the stairs. When I was gently laid on a soft mattress, I opened my eyes and blinked into the heavy darkness until I made out Jeo tugging off my jeans.

“Hey,” I said groggily.

He got naked and crawled into bed with me, and I sighed and rolled into him.

“I thought you had to be at Rainbow House tonight,” I said into his armpit.

“Gabe showed up and said he’d stay and for me to go be with my family. So here I am,” Jeo’s voice rumbled in my ear. I smiled against his soft skin and rubbed my nose in the hairs under his arm. He smelled of soap, deodorant, and himself, a scent I’d become very acquainted with.

“Made lots of food,” I said drowsily.

“I’m sure we’ll plow through it.” Jeo ran his fingers through my hair, and soon, I slipped into sleep again.

 

****

When I awoke, morning sun poured in the window, and Jeo wasn’t beside me. I muttered groggily as I got out of bed and shuffled down the hall to the bathroom. My phone told me it wasn’t quite eight o’clock, but I could hear people downstairs in the kitchen.

After a quick shower, I got dressed and brushed my teeth before heading for the first floor where I found Jeo sitting in the living room drinking coffee with Mick. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Dante walked in with a tray of pastries.

“Coffee’s fresh,” he told me. “Help yourself.”

In the kitchen I poured myself a cup before returning to the living room and standing uncertainly by the couch. Mick was curled up in one of the big chairs. He wore only a large flannel shirt.

“Hi,” he said to me, smiling as though the last time he’d seen me hadn’t been with me ordering him out of my boyfriend’s bed. Well, Jeo hadn’t been my boyfriend then, but the image remained vivid in my mind.

“Hi.”

Jeo looked up at me and smiled. “There you are. I thought you were gonna sleep all day.”

I frowned. “Obviously Jeo Mendoza has been abducted and replaced by a pod man.” I sat down next to him and sipped my coffee, needing the burst of caffeine to feel alive.

Mick grinned. “Seriously. Since when do you get up before noon unless Nick’s dragging you?” He looked between the two of us. “I heard you guys were together. That’s—frankly, weird, considering the names you used to call him.” He looked at me.

“I won him over with my charm,” Jeo said, and I couldn’t help smiling at him over my cup.

Jeo stood. “I think I’ll go have a swim in the lake. You guys want to join me?”

“Ugh, no thanks,” Mick said.

“I have to agree with him,” I said. “I’m not swimming where ducks poop.”

“Suit yourselves.”

When Jeo had left the house, Mick and I sat awkwardly for a moment, and for once I was glad for Fred’s squawking presence so total silence didn’t envelope us.

“So, uh, you work at a store in town?” I finally asked, sipping my coffee and wishing I’d put on Jeo’s shirt from last night, not because I was chilly, but because I wanted to lay claim to my man.

“Yeah. A men’s store. Real preppy.”

Mick was shorter than I was and kind of had the nerd look going on with his dark-rimmed glasses and serious expression. The fact that I knew him to be a Daddy’s boy and that Jeo had admitted to me he’d let Mick call him Daddy when they’d fucked made it worse.

“I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised about you and Jeo.” Mick broke me out of my jealous thoughts.

“Why?”

“Well, you fought like married people, and there was all that sexual tension in the air, come to think of it.” He shrugged. “When I found out you didn’t used to date, I figured you’d fall in the sack one of these days.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “We’re monogamous. So if you and/or your sister are hoping to be invited into our bed, it’s not going to happen.”

Mick laughed, a throaty sound.

“I hadn’t really planned on hitting you guys up, and my sister’s seeing someone. Just for the record, we did that at Jeo’s suggestion, not because it was something we liked.”

After examining his face, I didn’t see anything there except genuine amusement, so I relaxed. He wasn’t taunting me.

“Okay. I just wanted to make that clear.”

“Crystal.” Mick smiled as he took a sip of coffee. “But I thought you liked Daddies. Didn’t you have one?”

“Royce and I broke up. Jeo’s my Daddy,” I said.

Mick paused, cup midway to his mouth, eyebrows rising nearly to his hairline. “Really? He told me he wasn’t into it other than dirty talk.”

“I guess he changed his mind,” I said. “He’s a really good Daddy.” I realized I meant it. Jeo was the best Daddy I’d ever been with.

“Monogamous and a Daddy,” Mick said with a smile. “Sounds like love to me.”

If only.