It was unusual for Jessica to be as affected by a patient as she was by Lance. But something was just so frail about this big man who had been brought to these sad circumstances, and she found her heart melting for him. She checked up on him on a regular basis over the next few days, making sure he had food, water, and other drinks. Even between her rounds she found herself with excuses to go down that hallway to see him. Three days later, when she stopped in to check on him in the morning, he looked up and gave her a sleepy smile.
“Wow,” she said. “With a smile like that, I bet you had girls dropping all over you.”
“Maybe before the accident,” he murmured, “but it sure hasn’t happened since.”
She chuckled. “That’s because it was girls,” she said. “Women are a completely different sort.”
“What’s the difference?” he asked curiously, as he obediently held out his arm for her to check his blood pressure.
“Girls are affected more by the prettiness on the outside,” she said, “and women, at least women who have grown up and seen a lot of life, they know that the true measure of a man can only be taken from the inside,” she said. “In a place like this, what we see all the time is that inner measure of a man.”
He smiled. “I think I like that,” he said.
“Good,” she replied.
“But I don’t have any illusions about finding a partner after this.”
“Well, it’s perfectly possible, and, from what I understand, it happens a lot around here.”
“Happens a lot,” he said slowly. “I know what happened with my friend Iain,” he said, “but I assumed that was an oddity.”
“Not only was it not an oddity but Hathaway House is getting a name for matchmaking.” And she laughed.
“Hard to believe,” he said, wondering if he’d made a mistake coming here.
“People here are not quite so shallow to just seek a quick relationship only. We see so much of what you guys go through,” she said, “that, for those who fall in love, they already know who’s on the inside,” she said, “and that’s worth everything.”
“Sounds nice,” he said. “I’m just not sure I believe that.”
“Don’t have to,” she said. “You’ll find out soon enough, just by watching the others around here.”
“Only if I fall in love,” he said, his lips twitching.
“Is that so hard to believe?” she asked, eyeing him with an odd look. “Do you really not expect to ever fall in love again?”
“I guess I just don’t expect anybody to love me again,” he said. “I don’t consider myself much of a catch.”
“That goes back to that hanging-around-with-the-girls thing again,” she said. “For real women, it’s all about the inside. Remember?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I still think it’s all about who’ll be capable of protecting you and being there when the chips are down.”
“Protecting and looking after are two different things,” she said, her hands on her hips as she studied him. “And you’re the one who’s down right now,” she said. “Helping you is a whole different story. Getting you back on your feet so that you’re a vibrant contributing member of society,” she said, “is what we’re all about here. How you deal with the physical is the rehab, but how you deal with the emotional and the mental side of you is a whole different story. We see progress happen on one level, but then it stalls because it has to happen in all three areas.”
“Does that make me a triangle or something?” he asked with a half laugh.
But she could see that he didn’t really believe her. “It’s okay,” she said. “You’ll see.”
“What will I see?” he asked, as she walked toward the doorway.
“You’ll see that your progress is important to move ahead on all levels,” she said.
“I hope so,” he said. “I’d like to think that the physical was the furthest behind.”
She gave him a brilliant smile. “I hope so,” she said. “I’m really looking forward to getting to know who you are on the inside.” And, with that, she was gone.
That was a very strange nurse. At least in his experience, they rarely got personal. They asked questions about how you were doing, but they didn’t really want to hear the answer. Yet Jessica appeared to be unique. But then, over his first few days at Hathaway, he had already realized the truth of Iain’s statement about how different this place was. In fact, Iain wasn’t even around anymore. He’d moved on, or rather he’d moved up and moved out. Maybe that was a better way of looking at it. Lance still hoped to see Jaden, and that hadn’t happened yet either. Just then Lance heard the sound of crutches coming toward his door. When he looked up, there was Jaden himself. But it was a Jaden whom Lance didn’t even recognize.
“Wow,” Lance said, feeling older, frailer, and more broken than ever. “Aren’t you looking vibrant and healthy?”
Jaden gave him a half smile and took several more steps inside Lance’s room on his crutches. “Well, I am better,” he said. “I still don’t get to leave for a couple months yet though.”
“You look amazing,” Lance said, in shock. “I would have thought you were ready to be discharged.”
“Not according to them,” he said. Leaning over, he grabbed the visitor’s chair, pulled it to him, and slowly, using the chair for support, sat down. “As you can see, I’m still moving pretty slowly.”
“But you’re moving,” Lance said, “and that’s nothing like what you were doing back at the old place.”
“I know, and that’s why, when I came here, I didn’t believe Iain either. But now that I’m here, you realize that I’m halfway there—or, no, I’m probably 65 percent of the way there or maybe even 70, if I’m lucky. But Iain’s like, good Lord. He looks like he’s a bodybuilder or something.”
“It’s hard to believe,” Lance said. “When I first got his email, I didn’t believe him. I figured the joker would make a joke out of me, and I didn’t want to be anybody’s laughingstock anymore.”
“Understood,” Jaden said. “I have to admit that I was a little concerned about that too. We all knew what Iain was like, but I don’t think we understood that the Iain back then wasn’t the same as the Iain right now.”
“Is he really different?”
“Chalk and cheese,” he said. “As in seriously different chalk and cheese. Before he was a joker, always making light of everything. Now he’s seriously built, and he’s got plans of setting up a center to help other vets like us get a new start in life,” he said. “He’s here with his partner, Robin, who works downstairs in the vet clinic. Robin’s brother is even here,” he said. “That’s Keith, and he arrived about a month ago. Iain has helped him get on his feet a lot faster than I would have expected Keith to.”
“Sounds like Iain has made a complete change in his life,” Lance said. “That doesn’t mean it’s the same change that’s available to us all.”
Jaden looked at him, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “And I think that’s one of the realities we have to come to. We come with hope, but we don’t really expect anything better. We can see that other people have done better, but we always expect that our recovery will be the one case that can’t be improved upon.”
Lance winced at that. “I have to admit that I’ve thought that a time or two.”
“Of course you have,” he said. “And things will improve. You’ll be challenged physically. Your mind-set will be challenged, and your emotional balance will go off-kilter. Your physical balance will go off-kilter before it gets better probably,” he said, “and there’ll be this moment, before dawn, where you think it’s not worth it, that you should never have come, and that it’s all a terrible waste. Then you’ll make this decision that you have to live with what you’ve got and have to stop monkeying around, wasting everybody’s time, and just move on.”
Lance stared at him in surprise. “Have you been through all those stages?”
Jaden nodded. “I sure have,” he said, “and it’s not an easy thing. But I’ve come out the other side so much better.”
“Don’t tell me that you’ve also got a partner,” he said. “That I will not believe.”
“Actually I do,” he said with the gentlest of smiles. “Brianna. And that’s something I really didn’t expect. But the woman is fantastic, and, well, I mean, I didn’t think this was possible, but she loves me too.”
Instantly Lance felt jealousy spear right through his core. “I didn’t expect to ever hear any of us say that again,” he said softly. “I think, back at the VA hospital, we all expected to be alone for the rest of our lives.”
“I did,” Jaden said with a nod. “But, looking back, I wasn’t fair to the other women in the world either. I assumed that nobody would want me because I was broken and would never be at the same physical level I had been before,” he said. “Even with all the surgeries, I always assumed that I would never be as complete,” he said. “Now I realize that I’m more complete but in a very different way, and the physical level isn’t the prime consideration in my world. I’ve grown so much more on an emotional and a spiritual level,” he said. “And I don’t mean to go off all New Agey or religious or anything, and I can’t really prepare you for what’s still to come. All I can tell you is that a ton of change is available for you here,” he said, “but it’s a ton of work and not something you can just reach out and say, I’ll take it. You must decide you’re ready for it and see if you can make it all happen, but it’s still not that easy.”
Jaden stopped, shook his head, and said, “I’m not explaining myself very well. I guess what I really would say is just be open. Be open to whatever comes your way. Be prepared to work for it, and, if you do the job and show up every day and do the best that you can at this job,” he said, “I promise you the reward will be way past what you ever thought you could have.”
“Still sounds New Agey,” Lance said with a laugh.
Jaden grinned. “I know. I tried to not sound like that, but it is what it is. You know?”
“I got it,” he said, “and thanks. I’ll keep it in mind.” He motioned at the crutches. “At least you’re on crutches. That’s awesome.”
“I actually can walk,” he said, “but I overdid it yesterday, so I’m paying for it today.”
“Overdoing it doesn’t sound so bad.”
“No,” he said. “Overdoing it is what we end up doing sometimes when we keep trying to do stuff.”
“I get it,” he said, “and I can see that I’ll have days where I’ll pay for it too.”
“Yep, there will be lots of those,” Jaden said. “I tried to get down to see you over the previous days, but your door was closed a lot.”
“The transfer wasn’t very easy,” he admitted. “So I kind of feel bad, but, at the same time, I accepted that I needed some adjustment time.”
“You do,” he said. “Have you made it to the cafeteria for food yet?”
“No, not on my own. So far the meals have been delivered.”
“Well, I could coax you to come down to breakfast with me.”
At that, Lance slowly sat up. “You know what? I wouldn’t mind that at all,” he said. “It feels too much like being a patient when you’re in bed all day.”
“It always feels too much like being a patient when you’re in bed,” he said. “Just like being in a wheelchair is much better than being in bed, and being on crutches is much better than being in a wheelchair. But, when you can finally put down those crutches and walk on your own steam and be totally independent,” he said, “that is the very best feeling of all.”
“I’m a long way from that yet,” Lance said with a smile. He let his legs hang over the side of the bed. “These chicken legs,” he said with a shake of his head. “I have more screws and metal plates in my leg—”
“I hear you,” he said. “The thing is, around here, a lot of us are just like you.”
“At the last place too,” Lance reminded him.
Jaden grinned and said, “Yep, but what you’ll see here is people making progress—not those who have accepted their fate and are just living with it. Many of the people here are striving for more.”
“Well, in that case,” Lance said, “if I can get off this bed and into that wheelchair, you can show me.”