His wet fur pressed against me;
Each of us warmed the other;
Each of us felt in the stormy dark
That beast and man was brother
~James Bayard Taylor, A Night With A Wolf
The news was on low on the kitchen TV as Brian prepared breakfast. The dogs ate noisily around him, but it was a familiar and comforting sound. He hoped Derek would find strength enough to get out of bed today. Brian glanced at the ceiling, thinking of his mate of one year. Had it really been one year already? They’d been friends at least two years before that, and Brian understood the depth of Derek’s grief.
A week before they’d had to put down Derek’s faithful old hound dog, Henry. Brian had chosen the vet to do it since he couldn’t do it himself. But he’d stayed in the room, holding Derek’s hand and soothing the loyal hound with images of peace as Henry passed away. As a vet himself, Brian used his strange gift often. He could communicate with animals through images, giving and receiving thoughts from any animal, and it made him one of the top vets at Animal Services Center where he and Derek worked. Derek was an animal control officer and adept at handling aggressive dogs, given he was a wolf shapeshifter.
Even with Brian’s own abilities, that had been a hard one to swallow when he’d learned of it. But every day he was glad he’d accepted it. He wouldn’t be living with a man he loved more than life, one who loved him back just as fiercely, if he’d run away upon learning Derek’s secret. Even after a year, he still found it amazing, and it certainly made life interesting.
Brian smiled at the six dogs as they crowded around him, now that they were done with their own breakfast. Tinker, his cat, crouched on the top of the fridge, watching Brian intently. The dogs gave Tinker as much respect as the cat demanded, even their bull mastiff, Goliath. While Goliath and Betty Boop, the golden retriever, had originally been Derek’s, Brian now thought of them as his own. Derek had accepted his own dogs, the two German shepherds and the little pug, and even his cat. Then there was Dante, their three-legged Rottweiler. Derek had rescued the poor thing from being chained up and abandoned. Despite losing his leg, he was the liveliest of their dogs. It was an experience watching Dante, seeing how he interacted with the other dogs and lived his life. He didn’t know he was disabled—he just took things as they came.
It was a lesson they could all learn.
Brian sighed and tried to hold back his tears. He grieved for Henry as well, but the hound had been old and putting him down was merciful. Henry had begun to have too many medical problems and, after a long, serious discussion, he and Derek both decided to do the responsible thing. Brian didn’t mind taking over the daily management of the household while Derek took leave from work and sought solitude. Brian knew, for himself, he would grieve better if he had things to do, if he focused on the other lives he was responsible for.
The one thing that hurt the worst, though, the one thing that always made him want to cry, was when he saw Fenrir, his old pug, sniff around Henry’s customary place of rest in the living room by the TV. Fenrir and Henry had bonded nearly instantly and could rarely be separated. Brian would sense Fenrir’s confusion and distress, not understanding where his buddy went. All Brian could do was send images to the pug, images of Henry someplace happy, and tell him not to worry. Fenrir seemed to accept that explanation and focused on something else, but Brian found himself cuddling Fenrir more than usual.
Fenrir would probably be the next of their dogs to pass away, considering his age and the fact he’d already had cancer twice. It would hurt. A lot. Fenrir originally belonged to Brian’s sister, the only one of his family who didn’t disown him for being gay. After she died in a car accident years ago, he’d been stunned to learn she had a will, and he was named sole guardian of her dog. The family had tried to dispute it, but the will held up. He’d gotten Fenrir, his only connection to his sister.
Brian swallowed hard and set his coffee, banana, and bowl of oatmeal on the kitchen table and sat. He pushed past the depressing thoughts and focused on the news, the dogs following his every move. He reached over absently and patted Goliath’s head when the big guy rested his chin on Brian’s leg. The other dogs, seeing the gesture as a sign, began to crowd closer.
“Easy, guys,” Brian said, shaking his head.
He spooned up some oatmeal and listened to the far too chipper anchorwoman.
“Welcome back on this Tuesday morning,” she said. “A new exhibit will be opening this Friday at the local museum. It will focus on items found in eighteenth-century sunken ships. Among the priceless pieces are coins, plates, and utensils. There is also one special item the curator hasn’t yet made public, but she promises will be a sight to see and worth the price of a ticket. What do you think, Charles? Any guess as to what they might have found?”
“I couldn’t say, Pam, but it certainly makes you curious, doesn’t it?”
Brian rolled his eyes at the chatty banter and focused on his food. Tinker jumped on the table, and Brian eyed him. The cat pretended disinterest and began washing his leg.
“Uh-huh,” Brian said. “I’m not fooled.”
Joan and Gable, the two German shepherds, suddenly went on alert, their ears perked. Brian frowned and then heard the footsteps coming toward the kitchen. He spun around in his chair when Derek walked in. He must have just woken up. His short black hair was tousled, his clothes wrinkled and sloppy, and there were bags under his eyes.
Being a wolf shifter meant his dogs were his pack, his family. His children. Brian didn’t wonder at Derek’s attachment to every single one of them. Derek had found Henry in a shelter, about to be put down. He’d saved the hound and given him a home. It was always hard to let go, even if it was right thing to do.
Brian stood and went to him. “Hey.”
Derek blinked slightly at the light, still blurry-eyed. “Hey.” His voice was a croak.
Despite his disheveled appearance, Derek was still a very attractive man. Descended from an indigenous people’s tribe on his mother’s side, he had the coppery skin, sharp cheekbones, and dark brown eyes of his ancestors. His body was lean, and he was exactly six feet tall. He certainly made heads turn, and while Brian was sometimes annoyed by the attention his partner received, he never once doubted Derek’s fidelity. They were friends as much as lovers.
“You hungry? I can make you something,” Brian said softly, rubbing Derek’s arm.
Derek looked at him, his eyes slightly bloodshot. Naked emotion showed in his face, and before Brian could speak again, Derek was hugging him tightly. Brian held him close as their dogs surrounded them, tails wagging hopefully.
“I love you,” Derek said.
Brian smiled. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been… out of it.”
“No.” Brian pulled back and met Derek’s gaze. “No, don’t apologize. There’s no need. I get it.”
“But you loved him too,” Derek said, voice hitching. But then he swallowed and he won the struggle over his emotions.
“Yeah, I did.” Brian smoothed down Derek’s hair. “But taking care of you and the dogs helped. Going to work helped. We each grieve in our own way. Besides—”
Brian looked at Fenrir who, though the smallest of the dogs, was never trampled by them. They always knew he was there. He had a place in the pack.
“I’ll need you to hold me up one day. And I know you will.”
Derek kissed him. While Derek really needed to brush his teeth, Brian accepted the kiss and the comfort it was meant to convey.
Brian smiled as he pulled back. “If you’re going to be up, maybe take a shower, huh?”
Derek frowned. But then he lifted his arm and sniffed himself. He winced. “How can you live with me sometimes?”
“Well, I like your dogs. The sex isn’t bad either.”
Derek smiled. Brian was thrilled to see it.
“Good to know,” Derek said. “Yeah, I’m up. I’ll go to work tomorrow. I can’t do it today.”
He sounded ashamed. Or embarrassed. Brian hugged Derek again and kissed his cheek.
“No one’s asking you to do more than you’re capable of doing. Especially not me. No need to be tough around me.”
Derek snorted. “I haven’t been tough since Henry….”
He fell silent. Brian held him tighter. The silence stretched out, but it wasn’t awkward or tense. They simply held each other, gaining strength from the touch.
“Did you….” Derek stopped, swallowed. “Did you use your gift on him? You know, then?”
“Yes.”
Derek nuzzled his neck. “Thank you.”
Brian stroked his hair. “He wasn’t afraid, Derek. He wasn’t in pain. I promise.”
Derek clung to him for a moment longer before pulling back with a large smile on his face. His eyes were wet, but he didn’t cry.
“Okay, then. I’ll go shower, eat something. Then I think I’ll take these guys to the park. Let them run around.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Also, I think I need to, you know, be my wolf for a while.” Derek looked at Brian, not so much asking for permission, but acceptance. “Maybe tonight?”
Brian nodded. It was risky, but sometimes Derek would shift and run with their dogs at night in one of the forested parks near their house.
“Okay. But just come back at a reasonable time. I might want a little time with you tonight.”
Derek smiled, and this time it was slightly wicked. Brian realized then how much he’d missed that look.
“Yeah, I could go for that.”
With one last kiss, Derek left the kitchen, and Brian sat down, blowing out a breath.
Derek would be all right. They would be all right. Brian considered their four-legged canine family and allowed himself a few moments to scratch them all into doggy ecstasy.
Derek knew he needed to pull himself together. He’d only allowed himself to fall apart because Brian was there to pick him up again. He could depend on Brian to take care of everything while he wallowed. But enough was enough.
Letting the hot water roll over him, Derek stood in the shower, walling up his sadness and grief. It was time to rejoin life. Good ol’ Henry would want him to.
Derek smiled despite the quick jab to his heart.
No pain or fear, Brian had said. That man deserved everything, and Derek would do his best to give it to him tonight.
Feeling refreshed and more balanced, Derek dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and brushed his hair. The weather was mild, and it hadn’t rained for a couple of days, which was odd for a Washington spring but he’d take it. The dogs would be less inclined to play outside if they got wet. They were such divas sometimes.
Coming down the stairs, he was about to turn into the kitchen when he noticed Fenrir sniffing the spot where he used to curl up with Henry. Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Derek walked over to the pug.
“Hey, buddy.”
Fenrir instantly turned to him, tail wagging. While he couldn’t read Fenrir’s mind like Brian could, Derek knew he wasn’t the only one who mourned. He’d never had a liking for toy breeds until Brian had brought this little guy into his life. Fenrir was a treat. Scooping up the pug, Derek allowed his chin to be licked, Fenrir’s body trembling with excitement and love freely given. Smiling, Derek grabbed yesterday’s mail off the table and walked into the kitchen.
Brian was tidying up and turned upon hearing him. Derek doubted Brian would ever look his age. His body was of a man, but his face was forever young, which was why Brian grew a small, neat beard and wore his blond hair long and often in a ponytail or braid. It aged him enough where he didn’t always get carded when trying to buy alcohol, which was silly considering Brian was nearly forty. Derek was several years younger than Brian, but he looked older than his years. It was something their colleagues at work liked to tease them about.
Derek smiled into those bright green eyes and knew he was blessed. One full year together and still going strong. They’d had some bumps in the beginning—who didn’t?—but they’d managed to overcome them all by standing together and putting trust in each other. Brian knew and accepted he was wolf shifter—he’d even claimed it was kind of sexy.
After setting Fenrir on the floor, Derek walked over to get some coffee, glancing at the mail in his hand. He raised an eyebrow.
“The ASPCA again? Don’t they know we donate monthly?”
Brian smiled and took the mail from him. “They need money, Derek. They do good work.”
“Uh-huh,” Derek said before taking his first hit of coffee. “We can’t afford to give any more, Brian. We’re scraping by as it is.”
“I know.”
They donated to animal charities around the US. Derek was certain they gave to every single fucking one. With six dogs, a cat, and the two of them, they were running low on money. They’d needed to buy a bigger house for their huge family, despite the financial risk. It irritated him to have money demanded of him when they barely had enough to feed themselves. He also wouldn’t mind putting some in savings, which he hadn’t been able to do for a couple of months.
“Your mom called,” Brian said.
Derek raised his eyebrows. “She did? Why?”
Brian snorted. “She wanted to see how you were. I told her about Henry, remember? I told you I had, didn’t I?”
He might have. He probably did. Derek couldn’t clearly remember the last week.
“Make sure to call her back,” Brian said firmly.
“Yes, dear.”
Brian snorted again and rolled his eyes. Then he gestured for Derek to take a seat and started making breakfast for him.
“You’ll be late for work,” Derek said.
“I called ahead, said I would be.”
Not seeing the need to start a fight, since he knew clearly what the determined look on Brian’s face meant, Derek sat and gave some attention to the dogs. Even to Tinker, who crept across the table, pushing his head against Derek’s shoulder. He’d bonded with the cat relatively fast, considering. Tinker grudgingly accepted the inclusion of more dogs, just so long as he had high places to perch.
Derek absently scratched Tinker’s head as he considered the fact that his mom had called. She would keep calling until he spoke to her. He didn’t see much of his family—not that he didn’t love them. Most of his pack worked for different wildlife protection agencies around the US and even some in Africa. A few had positions in government. He’d gone his own way, becoming an animal cop, mostly focusing on domestic pets. But it was a similar field and his pack had always been accepting and supportive of his life choices. None of his pack had given a damn that he was gay.
Derek glanced at Brian. Derek’s parents had come down and visited them in early January. They’d taken instantly to Brian, which relieved much of Derek’s anxiety. They weren’t bigoted against nonshifters, but there was always a chance they wouldn’t accept Brian. Brian made a good impression on them, and when they learned he knew about the shifting and was anything but terrified or disgusted by it, they loved him even more. Now Derek thought his mother spoke to Brian more than she did him.
Derek smiled.
It was a relief to see his parents face-to-face, though he talked to them on the phone often enough. But there’d been a bigger reason for his need to reconnect with family—Brian’s abusive ex attempted to sabotage their Christmas, and though they’d managed to run him off, it still burned Derek’s gut whenever he thought about it. He’d nearly let his inner wolf dominate and remove the threat permanently. But Brian had stayed his hand, and Derek knew that was the biggest change that came from their mating—his temper. He’d always had a short fuse and a hot temper. He never harmed anyone he loved with it, but there had been near misses. With Brian, his fuse had become longer and his temper had cooled. Brian was able to calm him like no one else could, and use that strange gift of his on Derek’s wolf. Both Derek and his wolf adored Brian, and neither of them missed Derek’s aggressive outbursts at all.
They were different—from their taste in music to the way they dressed—but somehow they’d managed to merge their lives seamlessly, and Derek knew their mutual love for animals and passion for their jobs was part of the glue keeping them together. That and the really awesome sex.
It wasn’t long before Derek had eggs, bacon, toast, and a refilled cup of coffee in front of him. Brian took the seat across from him, and Derek was immensely comforted by the normality of it all.
Derek dug into his food, and Brian seemed to wait until he did before speaking.
“I was thinking—” Brian said.
“Uh-oh.”
“Shut up.”
Derek chuckled.
“Jerk.” Brian smiled. “We didn’t get to do anything for our first anniversary because of… Henry.”
A lump formed in Derek’s throat, and he swallowed it back with a gulp of coffee. “Yeah.”
“But I still want to do something, even if it’s a little late.” He paused, fidgeted in his seat. “I met your parents and they approved of me.”
“My mom adores you. You’re basically adopted.”
Brian’s expression turned soft, and Derek noticed some pain in it as well. He reached across the table and held Brian’s hand. He knew about Brian’s family—the morons—and knew it meant a lot to his mate to be accepted and enfolded in a loving family. Derek had mentioned the situation briefly to his mom before she arrived, and he thought that had broken most of the ice. His mother was a fierce one, an alpha and protector of her pups. No matter how old he or his siblings got, he could always depend on her to have his back. Now Brian was part of that.
“Good,” Brian said. “That makes what I’m about to ask simpler.”
Derek frowned. “Ask?”
Brian took a deep breath and gripped Derek’s hand. “Derek Williams, will you marry me?”
Derek stared at Brian, wondering if he’d hallucinated those words. But Brian stared back and Derek realized he’d really been asked.
“Well, hell. Never knew you wanted to.” Derek chuckled. “Damn right I will.”
Brian exhaled sharply. “Oh thank God. I thought I was making a fool of myself.”
“You were. But whatever. Let’s get married.”
Brian grinned. Derek leaned over the table and Brian, reading his intent, leaned over as well, and they kissed. This time it lasted longer, grew deeper. Derek pulled back first and sat, liking the dreamy look in Brian’s eyes.
“When do you want to do it?” Derek asked.
“Soon. Real soon. Before the month is out.”
Which would be about two weeks from now. “And where are we getting the money for this?”
Brian waved that away. “We won’t make it big, money-wise, that is. I already talked to your mom about this and—”
“What?” Derek set down his coffee. “Jeez, you move quickly when you have a goal.”
Brian raised an eyebrow. “How long have you known me?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Derek really didn’t know how to feel about all that. He was happy, for sure. But it still felt like Brian had gone behind his back, talking to his mother.
“I want your family here, Derek,” Brian said softly.
Derek looked up.
“We can just go down to the courthouse and get it all legal, then have some sort of reception. I don’t care. But I want to meet all your pack. I want to….”
Derek finally got it. “You want to be a part of my family. Legally.”
Brian leaned forward. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m marrying you, not your family. But I like your parents. I forgot how it felt.”
“They’ll all love you,” Derek said, trying to reassure him. “And if they don’t, I’ll make them.”
Brian chuckled. “Good boy.”
Derek growled slightly, and all the dogs, who had lain down on the kitchen floor, lifted their heads, ears perked.
Brian smirked and stood. “I’m going to be unforgivingly late if I don’t get my butt out of here. Call your mom, Derek. Invite your parents down. If we’re going to do this—”
“I know.” Derek stood and caught Brian around the waist. His kiss left them both breathless. He gripped Brian’s perky ass and held him close, drawing comfort from the familiarity of his taste, the softness of his lips. Derek considered them lifelong mates even without the legal documentation. But he knew Brian needed it and it was a trip to think of them legally bonded, bound together both in their hearts and on paper.
It was a reassuring thought. Life wouldn’t be worth living without Brian at his side. His wolf growled in agreement, feeling mightily possessive of the man in his arms.
Pulling back finally, he held Brian as his mate leaned heavily into him.
“You had better make time for me tonight,” Brian said.
Derek kissed his neck. “Promise.”