‘Anyway, it was completely insane,’ I told Patrick as I tore back up the motorway. ‘Wait until I tell you about the fish tank—’
‘I can’t talk right now but I can’t wait to hear about it,’ he replied, his voice crackling over the Bluetooth speaker in the car. ‘When am I seeing you?’
My eyebrows knitted together as I mentally checked the date. ‘Aren’t we having dinner tonight?’
‘Oh shit, we are,’ Patrick groaned. ‘I’m so sorry, I just this second said I’d meet my publisher. He wants to go over the chapters I was working on last week. Can I meet you after?’
‘After’s OK,’ I said, annoyed at myself for feeling so disappointed. The man had to work, didn’t he?
‘Could be quite late,’ he said, his warning softened with regret. ‘But you could stay at mine? Late supper with an early breakfast on the side? I am sorry, I clean forgot. This book is taking up so much brain space.’
‘It’s fine,’ I assured him, all the air going out of my day. ‘Don’t worry. And honestly, I don’t mind late. Maybe I can meet Sumi after work.’
‘Yes, why don’t you do that.’ He sounded relieved. ‘Just don’t tell her I fucked up again or she’ll be round to mine with the cheese grater.’
I laughed as we said goodbye and I put my foot down, undertaking an elderly lady in a Ford Fusion with a bumper sticker that read ‘Hot Rod Granny’. He was busy, it was all reasonable. So why was I so annoyed?
‘How did it go?’ Ted asked, jumping on me the moment I got back to the office. ‘Is everything OK? Did he agree on guests? Have you got anything I can give to the marketing team?’
‘It was good,’ I started. ‘I think—’
‘Great, choice, you write up the notes and send round a memo. We need to get things moving, Ros, moving and shaking and rocking and rolling.’
I was not the sort of person who would assume a co-worker was taking cocaine at work but if I were … Ted walked away, snapping his fingers and repeating the words ‘Snazzlechuff Says’ to himself over and over and over.
Grabbing a Diet Coke from the fridge, I looked back at the sunny, potentially class-A-riddled office and opened the door to the staircase. Time to return to where I belonged.
It was only Wednesday but I’d already spent every night since Sunday in my shed, all on my own. By the time I got home from work, I didn’t have the energy to talk to my parents and there was always the threat of a repeated sushi incident. Lucy wasn’t feeling up to coming into town and I wasn’t feeling up to crossing the length and breadth of London when I knew Creepy Dave would be there as well. Sumi kept cancelling on me and Patrick had his meeting. Which left my oldest, greatest, would-never-let-me-down, best-in-the-world friend, Adrian.
‘Can’t,’ he said from the screen of my phone. ‘Sorry.’
‘You’re sure?’ I pleaded, batting my eyelashes and puckering up my lips as Adrian reared away in mock disgust.
‘If I wasn’t sure already, that mug has made my mind up for me,’ he replied, pretending to yak over his shoulder. ‘I’ve told you, I can’t. I’ve got a big date.’
‘You’ve always got a big date,’ I said, deep in the bowels of PodPad. ‘Cancel it and come to dinner with me.’
‘Afraid I really can’t.’
I stared at his face in the giant screen, his big green eyes staring right back at me.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked, crushing a stack of Pringles that would have to pass for lunch into my mouth. ‘Since when are you such a smitten kitten?’
‘Since I met Eva,’ he replied.
‘And who’s Eva?’
‘The CrossFit instructor,’ he answered, proud as Punch. ‘You’ll meet her at la bebe fiesta on Saturday, she’s amazing.’
It was almost enough to make me fall off my chair.
‘You’re bringing a girl to a friend thing? A girl you actually like?’
‘A girl I really like,’ he confirmed, eyes as big as saucers. He kicked his legs up behind him, swinging them back and forth like a teenage girl in the movies. ‘I asked her for coffee after class on Sunday morning, we went out for dinner on Monday, we were texting all last night and tonight we’re going for dinner. If things carry on this way, we’ll be engaged by the weekend.’
‘Adrian, this is amazing and terrifying and I can’t see out a window down here so could you be a doll and look outside and check for flying pigs?’ I asked, still in a state of shock.
‘Ros, she’s so beautiful,’ he sighed, eyes skyward. ‘But it’s not just that. She’s so funny. She’s the funniest woman I’ve ever met. And she’s got amazing stories about everything, I could listen to her talk about anything for hours.’
‘Wow.’
I didn’t know what else to say. I’d known Adrian for my entire life and I’d never, ever known him talk this way about a woman. Or a man. Or any living thing. ‘So, what I’m hearing is, the sex is amazing?’
‘Maybe tonight.’ I watched him pick at a loose thread on what looked like a fresh-out-the-packet duvet cover. ‘Or do you think I should wait longer? It’s too soon, isn’t it? I don’t want to rush things.’
‘Adrian Anderson,’ I said with a gasp. ‘You are blushing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in love.’
‘Whatever, who cares, so what?’ he mumbled, his face beetroot red. ‘What’s going on with you? How come you want to hang out with me when you could be balls deep in Patrick Parker?’
‘Wouldn’t he be balls deep in … never mind,’ I replied, frowning at the sex maths. ‘He’s got a meeting with his publisher. I’m seeing him later.’
‘What about Lucy?’ Ade suggested.
‘She said something about dinner with the antenatal girls tonight,’ I replied, screwing up my face.
‘Sumi?’
‘She said she’d try but she’d probably be working late.’
‘She’s cancelled on me loads lately, work must be chaos,’ he acknowledged with a nod. ‘Question. Do you think roller skating would be a good date? Show Eva I’m fun?’
‘Oh my god, you really are in love,’ I laughed happily. ‘Yes to skating. It’ll be lovely, you’ll hold hands, very romantic.’
‘What if she falls over and breaks her leg?’ he asked, face crumpling with concern.
‘You’ll take her to the hospital and have a great story to tell the grandkids.’
‘Christ,’ he sighed. ‘Is this how it is? All the time?’
I smiled at my friend through the screen. ‘Is what how it is?’
‘This,’ he rolled onto his back and held the phone over his face. ‘I’m desperate to see her, can’t stop thinking about her, can’t stop talking about her. And so far I’ve gone through my entire wardrobe five times and can’t find a single thing to wear tonight.’
‘And the worst part is that feeling that it could all go to shit any second,’ I agreed. ‘Like, oh my god, don’t let me say the wrong thing and fuck this up. One minute you’re high as a kite and the next you’re ready to chuck yourself under a bus.’
‘Thanks for the heads up,’ Adrian replied, his voice weighted with sarcasm. ‘I haven’t got to that part yet.’
I cleared my throat and put on a strangled smile.
‘Maybe you’ll be lucky and that’s just a girl thing,’ I suggested. ‘You don’t run through conversations after you hang out and worry about what you said?’
‘Can confirm, I do not,’ he said. ‘Perhaps that’s just a Ros thing.’
‘I’d better go,’ I said, suddenly desperate to get off the phone. ‘I’ve got to call a load of children and ask their mums if they can come and play on my podcast.’
‘Sweet,’ Adrian said as I heard a keyboard clacking in the background. ‘Is it too much if I send her flowers at work today? It’s too much, isn’t it?’
‘Send them tomorrow,’ I instructed gently. ‘You’re already seeing her tonight. Flowers in the morning will be a nice surprise.’
‘See her tonight, send flowers tomorrow,’ he repeated, closing his laptop. ‘Thanks, mate. I’m so glad you’re back. Sumi would have laughed in my face.’
‘And I didn’t?’ I replied, waving goodbye.