I galloped back to Epi’s house at full speed. When I got there, I was relieved to see Prometheus still sitting on the porch, talking to the happy couple.

“Prometheus!” I called. “I need a word with you!”

He got up and jogged over to me. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Zeus,” I said, and I told the Titan about the sibyl’s prediction. “Be on the lookout for Force and Violence,” I warned him. “They’re dangerous.”

“Thanks for the warning, Hades,” Prometheus said. “But I can take care of myself.” He turned to go and then turned back. “Oh, by the way, Hades, Epi and Pandora have set a date for their wedding. Three weeks from today. It’ll be here, in Guytown.”

“I’ll be there,” I said. Then I galloped for the shortcut cave. In under four hours, thanks to my pooch, I was back in the Underworld.

That night, I put extra helpings of Underdog Chow in all three of Cerbie’s bowls. What a good dog! Without him, I’d still have been on the road.

Three weeks went by in a blur of activity. When the big day arrived, I put on my best robe. I stood in front of my mirror. “An Ambro Bar a day keeps the bald spot away!” I chanted as I combed my thick black hair. Unlike my balding brother, I make sure I get my daily serving of nectar and ambrosia.

When I was looking my best, I turned to my dog. “You stay here and guard my kingdom, Cerbie,” I said.

The dog flopped down. He stacked up his heads on his paws, looking lonesome already.

“Don’t worry, boy, boy, boy,” I said, patting each head. “Thanks to you, I’ll be back tonight.”

He gave me one little tail wag. But that was all the goodbye I got.

I drove one of my own chariots up to earth, pulling the Midas rental chariot and steeds behind. I returned them and headed for Guytown. After my last experience, I dreaded having to ask directions to the wedding chapel. But luckily, every guy in town was headed in the same direction, so I just followed along. They all streamed into a large white building. Gods were going in, too. And Titans. This was a big, high- powered wedding! I parked and went in with the others.

The Titans were being seated on large benches at the back of the room. I didn’t see Mom. That was odd. She loved weddings. I walked down the aisle to the smaller god-sized benches. As for the guys? There were no guy-sized benches. They had to stand in the back. Since the Titans and gods were so much bigger than they were, they wouldn’t be able to see a thing. But the guys seemed happy just to have been invited to the wedding.

I sat down on a bench next to my sister Hestia.

“This is so moving,” she said, dabbing at an eye with her hanky.

“They haven’t even started yet, cara mia,” said Aphrodite, who sat on her other side. The goddess of L&B looked out of sorts. Had she been hoping that Pandora would ask her to be in the wedding? After her gift of hot-pink hair, that wasn’t going to happen.

An organ started to play, and Athena began walking down the aisle. She was followed by Hera, the matron of honor. The music changed to the wedding march. Now Pandora came down the aisle holding Hephaestus’s arm. Since he’d created her, it was only right that he should be the one to give her in marriage. Epi and his best Titan, Prometheus, were waiting up by the altar.

Now I caught sight of Rhea. She was in her judge’s robe, performing the ceremony! Good old Mom. She made it short and sweet. In no time at all, Epi said, “I do!” Pandora said, “Don’t you know I do?” And Mom pronounced them husband and wife. Then everyone went happily into the adjoining banquet hall for the reception.

The first thing I saw in the reception hall was a rickety little card table. On it sat a lone bowl of peanuts in shells. A keg stood beside the card table. All the guys were gathered around it.

Across the room was a long table covered with an elegant white cloth. It was piled high with delicious looking eats. I made my over to it. A sign on the long table said:

FOR IMMORTALS ONLY!

Poor guys, I thought as I helped myself to some nectar punch and giant olive wrapped in smoky ambrosia ham. Sometimes it really pays to be a god. Almost always, actually. I bit into the olive. YUM! I took another. I’m not the world’s most sociable god, but I was starting to enjoy myself. So it was a nasty jolt to see Force and Violence hovering nearby. Were they there to keep the guys away from the ambrosia-laced food and the nectar punch? Probably. If mortals consumed any, they’d become immortal.

When I’d eaten possibly more than my share from the wedding buffet, I went to search for Prometheus.

“Excellent wedding,” I said when I found him in the crowded room.

“Wasn’t it?” said Prometheus. He took a sip of his punch. “I foresee that Epi and Pandora will have many, many children. All girls.”

“That ought to make the guys happy,” I said.

Prometheus grinned. “I have high hopes that the guys and girls will get along well together,” he said.

“Attention! Attention!” called Hera. “The bride will now throw her bouquet!”

Pandora walked halfway up a staircase, holding her flowers. All the single Titanesses, goddesses, muses, graces, and so on gathered at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone else stood back to watch. At the edge of the crowd, I caught sight of Force and Violence.

“Prometheus,” I whispered, “watch those two. I have a bad feeling about them.”

Prometheus only smiled. “So now you can see into the future, too?”

“I wish,” I told him. “Just be careful, will you?”

Prometheus rolled his eyes.

“Is everybody ready?” asked Pandora. And she tossed her bouquet.

Pandora had quite a throwing arm. The flowers arced up into the air. They started coming down right in front of Artemis, the goddess of the hunt.

“It’s yours, Artemis!” called Hera. “Catch it!”

“No way!” Artemis jumped away as if the flowers were red-hot coals. “I’m happy being single, thank you very much.”

At the last second, Hestia lunged in front of Artemis and caught the bouquet. Everyone clapped, and she burst into happy tears. Then she began to look eagerly around the room.

Still holding the bouquet, she came up to me. “Hades, have you seen Prometheus?”

“I was just talking to him,” I said.

“Where is he now?” She stood on tiptoe, looking all around the room.

I looked, too, but I didn’t see him. I had a feeling the Titan might have ducked out of the room when he saw who’d caught the bouquet.

“So have you forgiven Prometheus for stealing your fire?” I asked.

Hestia nodded. “It’s turned out all right,” she said. “And you know, I think he did come up to Olympus at least partly to see me. Well, excuse me for running off, Hades, but I’d really like to find him.”

“Go on,” I told her.

I caught sight of Mom waving at me from across the room. “Hades!” she called, hurrying over to me. As always, she was carrying two bulging shopping bags. “My firstborn!” she said. “I want to talk to you.”

“What about?” I asked. I hoped that it wasn’t anything to do with looking after Zeus!

“Weddings, Hades,” said Mom. “Don’t you think it’s time you got married and started giving me some grandchildren?”

I rolled my eyes. (This was long before I met Persephone, my future bride.)

“Aw, Mom,” I said. “I’m not the marrying type. Besides, what goddess would want to live down in the Underworld?”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Hades,” said Mom. “Lots of goddesses would love to be married to a big-time king like you. And don’t rule out the muses. Sure, they’re minor, as goddesses go. But they are a very talented bunch. They might inspire you!”

“Po isn’t married either,” I said.

“At least he’s dating, Hades,” Mom said. “But I want to talk to him, too. Have you seen him?” She surveyed the room.

“There he is. Over by the punch bowl.” I felt a bit guilty, giving Po up to Mom like that. But he could handle her.

Mom stared at Po. “Why do you think he streaks his hair blue like that, Hades?”

“Beats me,” I said.

“It makes him look so immature.” Mom shook her head. “Excuse me, will you?” And she dashed over to the punch bowl.

I watched Mom approach Po. As Po poured her a cup of punch, I realized that Force and Violence weren’t hovering around the immortals’ table anymore. I did a fast search of the room. Where were they? And where was Prometheus? I didn’t see him either. I started to get a bad feeling in my godly gut. A very bad feeling.

I quickly circled the room, looking for Prometheus. He was the tallest Titan. He’d be easy to spot. But he wasn’t there.

I began looking for Zeus. There he was. He had cornered a couple of the graces and was yakking away at them.

I ran over to him. “Zeus,” I said, giving him the nod that I wanted to speak to him.

“Later, Hades,” Zeus growled. “Can’t you see we’re busy here?”

“Where are those bodyguards of yours?” I asked him.

Zeus smirked. “I sent them on a mission.”

“Does the mission have anything to do with Prometheus?” I asked him.

“Good guess, Hades!” said Zeus. “You win the prize!”