Guess who? Yep, it’s Hades, back again to debunk another Greek myth. Want to guess why I’m debunking? The answer’s a four-letter word that starts with the letter Z. If you guessed Zeus—bingo!

My Underworld Dictionary defines bunk as “claptrap” or “twaddle.” (Check your own dictionary; I’ll bet it says the same thing.) My little brother, Zeus, is the Boss of Bunk. He’s so full of bunk, he ought to sleep in a bunk bed!

When Zeus decided to redo The Big Fat Book of Greek Myths, he bunked up the myths but good. He threw out parts he didn’t like. He made up new bits and stuck them in wherever he felt like it. The big myth-o-maniac—(old Greek speak for “big fat liar”)—basically lied up a storm to make himself look like a powerful thunder god. He heaped on the bunk so thick that now it’s impossible for you mortals to tell what really happened and what he just felt like tossing in.

Take the myth about Pandora. You’ve heard the expression “opening up a Pandora’s box”? The only reason anyone ever says that is because they’ve bought Zeus’s version of the myth hook, line, and sinker. Here it is in black and white. Go on! Read it straight from The Big Fat Book:

Total claptrap! Zeus gave Pandora a box, all right. A box full of really nasty items. But disease? Pain? Greed? No way. Those things were around long before Pandora showed up.

Zeus did give Pandora the gift of curiosity. That much is true. But the whole thing was just a setup so he could win a bet he’d made with me. The old bunk-meister tricked me, his trusting older brother, into betting him that Pandora would never open the box. Zeus put big money on her popping off the lid right away. But she didn’t. It drove him so nuts that he spent years trying to trick her into opening it.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. Pandy was curious. She never stopped asking questions. But she was smart, too. As curious as she was, she knew better than to open any nasty old box from Zeus.

Are you curious about Pandora? Do you wonder what it was like to be the one and only mortal woman in a world of mortal men? Do you want to hear the real story of Pandora and her famous box? If you answered, “Yes. Yes. YES!” then it’s your lucky day. Just start on the next page. I’ve written it all down for you.