I think all acknowledgements should be written a little bit drunk. It allows you to really gush in proper Oscars acceptance speech style.
So whoooop here goes . . .
*Me standing on stage, clasping a copy of this book, looking out at a packed applauding audience.*
A huge thank you to my editors of dreams, Katherine Armstrong and Eleanor Dryden, for loving Lex from the very start and for only ever giving me edit notes which had me nodding in agreement. You guys get me. So thank you!! And to all the very talented people at Zaffre for their hard work in bringing The Nursery into the world.
Alice Lutyens, my Superagent. A big sparkly thank you for the hand-holding and endless good advice.
I continue to be forever grateful to Tom Bromley and Faber Academy for giving me the guidance and start that helped me get published.
To my BESTIE FOREVER Rebecca Thornton. *Camera pans to beautiful, dark-haired woman, who can’t be more than thirty-two, and is the only person in the audience standing and still clapping manically.* I don’t think I could write at all without you to ask advice from and have therapeutic EAC chats with. Let’s keep doing this together, as together there is NOTHING we can’t do *dramatic air punch* . . . (except drive and cook).
To Caroline Barrow, Lara Smith-Bosanquet and Georgia Tennant. THANK YOU *hands clasped to chest* for the endless support and reading and rereading and basically being wonder women and wonderful friends.
To others in my girl gang of favourites: Alicia Grimaldi, Suzannah Lockwood and Debbie Macey White. Thank you for ‘killing it’ with your help for my first book Killing It. *Audience collectively eye-roll.* To the rest of the godparents – sorry couldn’t squeeze you in as characters for this book too (that was my ingenious way of testing which of you actually read it . . . I KNOW WHO FAILED). *Three people in the audience look very sheepish.*
Andrew Trotter. This book is dedicated to you as you’re awesome, etc. but mostly to let people know that, despite writing about marriage problems, ours is clearly ROCK SOLID. High fives for that and forever may it continue. *Camera close up of handsome black-tied Cumbrian looking very awkward at the attention.*
A big thank you to my parents for, as always, being my biggest cheerleaders. *Camera pans to elderly (sorry) dapper bald-headed man and glamorous Chinese woman beaming with pride.*
To my very beloved children: Tavie, Arlo, Gus and Silva. *Pause for people to absorb that I have FOUR children.* You are wonderfully inspiring and inspiringly wonderful. *Blow kisses.*
And not to sound too sucky but a big final thank you to everyone who read Killing It *arms outstretched to audience* and took the time to leave (nice) reviews. I know it’s not cool to admit to reading reviews but I do. And there is no bigger kick than seeing kind words people you’ve never met have written about something you tapped out at your kitchen table. It makes my day EVERY TIME. *Talking louder over sound of orchestra starting.* SO THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU AND GOOD NIGHT!!
*Dragged off stage still effusively waving and smiling.*