DAY 2: FRIDAY

Okay, so let's just say I learned A LOT at school last night. I learned that things don't always go according to plan.

For starters, it's hard to keep a low profile when your new best friend is a super bouncy slime.

My OLD best friend was Cash. We did everything together at Creeper Elementary. He liked art and writing, like me. And we made up lots of rap songs. And I only ever saw him blow up once—when someone threw his sketchbook into a lava pit.

But then Cash moved away, and everything changed. Sure, there are other creepers to hang out with. But they're not like Cash and me.

So I was ready to go it alone at school. But Sam bounced right over and introduced himself. He said, "Hey, I'm Sam Sebastian Slime." He actually used all three names, like I might confuse him with some other slime named Sam.

You know what I noticed right away? That slime is ALWAYS smiling. Even when a skeleton snapped the strap of his backpack and sent him bouncing down the hall. He just jumped right up with a smile on his face, as if nothing had happened!

But pretty much everyone else saw what happened so, like I said—there's no keeping a low profile with bouncy Sam around. I might as well cross that off my survival plan right now.

I know what you're thinking: Sam's cheerfulness might get annoying. I'm kind of worried about that, too. But since Cash left, new friends haven't exactly crawled out of the woodwork like silverfish. So that slime might be my best bet for a new sidekick.

Sam and I compared schedules and figured out that we have three classes together: history, science, and art. Sam was WAY too excited about Science and not nearly excited enough about Art. But I decided to let that slide.

While we were looking at our schedules, this group of skeletons walked by and started messing with us. The tallest, skinniest one, who I heard the other skeletons call "Bones," grabbed my schedule. He said, "Jeepers, creeper. Looks like a pretty full day. Want me to clear your schedule for you?" Then he crumpled up my schedule with his bony fingers and tossed it to another skeleton, and they started playing keep-away.

Bones probably wanted me to blow up, just to get me in trouble on my first day. But that wasn't going to happen. I almost told him I was a pacifist, but I'm pretty sure that word isn't in his vocabulary.

Anyway, he finally flicked the crumpled-up paper in my face and walked away, laughing with his annoying skeleton friends. I could hear their bones rattling all the way down the hall. Boy, was Cate right about avoiding skeletons!

She was pretty much right about ZOMBIES, too. This one zombie named Ziggy said something to me in the hall, but I couldn't understand him. He was eating a carrot and spewing chunks everywhere. YUCK. I got away from him as fast as I could, but he chased me all the way to math class. (Good thing zombies are slow!)

When we got to class, he staggered over to my desk and handed me my notebook. Turns out, I dropped it in the hall, and he was chasing me to give it back. Well, I'm grateful and all—I sure don't want everyone reading about my 30-day plan. But now Ziggy thinks we're FRIENDS or something.

During class, he passed me this note inviting me to dinner. He said his mom makes the best roasted flesh. I almost lost my brussels sprout breakfast right then and there. I really gotta ditch this guy.

Oh, and I learned that it's really, REALLY hard not to look an Enderman in the eye.

There's this one guy, Eddy Enderman. He's tall and cool and just leans against the lockers, like he's not scared of anything or anyone.

I tried to take Cate's advice and look at his legs instead of his face. But it's like I couldn't control my eyeballs. They just crept right up! So I pretty much have to avoid looking at him altogether. Too bad he's, like, THE coolest guy at school.

You know what else I learned? Brussels sprouts don't keep you full for very long.

I knew I'd never get through third period without a snack. So before Sam and I headed off to history, we hit the vending machine.

But it wouldn't take my emeralds! I could see the pork chops right through the glass, but I couldn't get to them. Sometimes I swear life has it in for me.

Then Sam stuck his emeralds in. And, of course, the machine took those—no problem. He got his milk.

I was about to protest when he told me that he wasn't TRYING to get milk. He actually wanted a cookie. But Mr. Cheerful didn't complain. He chugged the milk right down.

Then he told me that he's something called "lactose intolerant." Let's just say that means he should never drink milk. Never EVER. A stinky, green cloud filled the hallway, and I had to hold my breath all the way to history.

Believe it or not, keeping Sam away from milk wasn't my biggest lesson of the school night. That came during lunch, when I was finally ready to try out my new nickname.

I waited until the table was full of kids. Sam and I were sitting in the middle of a bunch of creepers, zombies, and witches. I paid him an emerald to ask, really loudly, "What's your name again?"

Then I said, "You can call me Kid G. You know, like the rapper—Kid Z."

What I didn't plan for was my Evil Twin walking by at that exact moment. "Did you say to call you Itchy?" she asked, snickering.

Yup, she actually teased me about my itchy skin in public. At SCHOOL. Around OTHER KIDS. I still can't believe it. I mean, I always knew Chloe was evil, but I never thought she'd sink that low.

I wanted to sink too—get swallowed up by a big hole in the ground. Where's Cammy the Exploding Baby when you need her?

I hoped no one had heard Chloe, but of course, EVERYONE did. And they thought I said my nickname actually WAS "Itchy" instead of "Kid G." I tried to tell them what I'd really said, but there was no going back—especially after the skeletons at the next table over got involved.

So now my new nickname is "Itchy," which I think we can all agree is NOT cool.

I learned a lot of things last night, that's for sure. But my biggest lesson is to avoid Chloe at all times. I mean, Ziggy Zombie is annoying. And the skeletons are bony bullies. But my Evil Twin did the most damage. I'm pretty sure a nickname like "Itchy" will stick around for a while.

So I might as well cross another line off my 30-Day Survival Plan. It's starting to look pretty skimpy now.

Oh, well. I can always try again with the nickname thing when I get to high school—if I make it that far.