People were saying it was the worst winter they could remember. The snow, which had started in February, was still falling at the start of April. We had long run out of coal. Hattie was helping Granny out with some from her meagre stock but she was also running short.
The women in the food queues were becoming more and more angry about all the continued shortages and I was beginning to get frazzled myself. Trying to get to the paper shop in the early morning was a nightmare. Mountains of snow were being shovelled up at the side of the kerbs and it was difficult to stay upright on the slippery pavements.
Lily and I had received a postcard from Kathleen. She didn’t say much except that she and Kitty had settled in and were enjoying their new life. She had enrolled Kitty at a school near the flat and she was seemingly enjoying it.
Struggling to work the morning after receiving the postcard had made me grumpy. Kathleen was living a happy life while I was miserable. Still, the thought of owning the flat gave me some pleasurable moments – which was more than George and Kit had as Maggie and Mick Malloy were still coming round, shouting the odds.
I kept thinking about our promised trip to Trinafour. It was still weeks away but I was depressed at the thought of going. I kept hoping something would come up to put the visit off. Wishful thinking, I called it.
Joe was waiting for me when I went to open the shop the next morning and I wondered if he ever slept. He was always the first customer and today he was standing in the shop doorway and he was shivering.
‘For goodness sake, Joe, you should be in your house instead of standing on a freezing cold step.’ I didn’t mean to be sharp but it had been one of those weeks – cold outside and cold inside. Thank goodness for hot-water bottles and cosy blankets, I thought.
Joe echoed my thoughts. ‘Och, it’s just as cold inside my house as it is standing here, Ann. The coal is finished and so is the dross. The bunker is well and truly empty.’
I felt sorry for him but we were all in the same boat.
However, he had some cheerful news. ‘The coal is seemingly being despatched from the yards and the coalman said he might have some supplies tomorrow – I do hope so.’
I had long since stopped putting on the small fire in the back shop and the shop never seemed to warm up. There were always customers opening the door and letting all the freezing cold air in.
That night I went to check up on Granny and to see if her coalman had made a delivery. To my delight, he had. Her fire wasn’t exactly blazing but at least it was on and that was a blessing.
I made a mental note to get my coalman to call when I would be at home but, failing that, I could always leave my key with the elderly man next door who had proved so helpful to us over our long stay in the flat.
Granny and I were hugging the fire when Hattie appeared. Her cheeks were red with the cold and she looked pleased with herself. Considering how miserable she had been over the last few months, we were both surprised to see her looking happy.
‘I’ve just had some wonderful news,’ she said, sounding breathless from her walk.
Granny and I stared at her, surprise written all over our faces.
‘I’ve heard from Graham and what to you think?’
We gave her a blank stare.
‘He’s coming back to Dundee to work. He’s got an office in the town and he’s letting his partner run the Clydebank office.’
Granny spoke first. ‘Och, that’s great news, Hattie. Does that mean you’ll be back seeing him?’
She nodded happily.
I remained silent. Surely this happy, fairy-tale ending hadn’t suddenly appeared out of the far blue yonder. What about his strange behaviour before he left for Clydebank?
Hattie saw my expression. ‘I know what you’re thinking, Ann, but Graham has told me everything that’s happened.’
‘What’s that, Hattie?’ said Granny, her face frowning in puzzlement.
‘About his strangeness last year. Well, he came to see me last week to tell me about his move back here and also to tell me the whole sorry story. He’s not a widower like I thought …’ She corrected this statement. ‘Or as everyone thought. He called himself a widower because, six years ago, his wife left him to go and live with another man.’
My heart lurched. Oh, no, I thought, just like Kathleen.
‘Graham was going to divorce her but he never got around to it. He said he hadn’t met anyone he was interested in till he met me. That’s when he decided to file for a divorce so we could get married. Unfortunately a stray bomb at the end of the war changed all that.’
Granny was still perplexed. ‘Why was that, Hattie?’
Hattie smoothed her hair and I recalled this was always a sign that she was nervous. ‘I really don’t know all the circumstances except that the house where the wife and her man friend were living took a direct hit. The man escaped but Graham’s wife was badly injured. She was taken to hospital and the man gave the hospital staff Graham’s address in Dundee. He was called urgently to the hospital but his wife was unconscious.’
I suddenly remembered the night I met him – the night when he had that evasive and haunted look in his eyes. It must have been that day when he got the news.
‘He’s been visiting her every week since then – hoping her friend would come back. But he’s disappeared. Graham was heartbroken because he didn’t want to deceive me while still visiting his wife. And he couldn’t get a divorce while she was in a coma so he was torn between two rocks. That’s why he decided to move back to Clydebank and open his office up again.’
One thing was puzzling me. ‘Why are you looking so happy, Hattie, if Graham has a wife?’
‘His wife has been in a nursing home for ages as she was too ill to go home but she’s all right now. Graham didn’t want to mention a divorce until now and, although she’s unhappy about it, she’s agreed to it. Oh, we know it’ll take a while but he’ll be living and working here and we’ll be together. That’s all that matters.’
Granny was pleased for Hattie but was also worried about Graham’s wife. She said, ‘I know she was the one to leave him, Hattie, but what will she do now? Where will she live? I mean she must still be feeling ill and alone and won’t she be left homeless?’
Hattie said, ‘She won’t be homeless, Mum. Graham has given her the flat they used to have before she left and he’ll send her money every month until she gets on her feet and gets a job – or another man. She was very fond of men, I believe.’
‘Did Graham say that?’ I asked, shocked that he would tell Hattie something like that about his wife.
It was Hattie’s turn to look shocked. ‘No, he didn’t. It was Mrs Pringle. Graham told them all about his wife’s illness and she went down to see her. When Mrs Pringle entered the hospital room, she was admiring herself in a mirror and the first words she said were that she hoped she would get her good looks back again or she would never get another man. Mrs Pringle was still shocked when she told me about it.’
Granny said sincerely, ‘Well, we’re all happy for you, Hattie, and you always knew we were all fond of Graham. We hope you’ll both be very happy.’
Hattie looked at me and I nodded. Another happy couple, I thought. I seemed to be surrounded by them. Then I immediately felt guilty. It wasn’t Hattie and Graham’s fault that I was growing into a bitter old spinster.
I went over and gave her a hug. ‘I’m really pleased for you both, Hattie. You deserve happiness after all these years without Pat.’
There were tears in her eyes when she got up to leave. ‘I never thought I would ever meet another man – not after Pat. But Graham is very special to me and I only wish he had told me all his troubles earlier on. We could have both worked them out.’
After she left, Granny stoked up the fire. She sighed. ‘What a strange time this has been, Ann – first the trouble with Margot then Kathleen going off to London and now this happy ending with Hattie and Graham. Things aye come in threes so maybe that’s the end of all the dramas in our lives.’
Graham and Hattie appeared the following Saturday. Lily and I were playing cards with Granny, Alice and Bella when they arrived in the kitchen. Hattie was dressed in a lovely green satin evening dress and Graham was looking as proud as Punch.
Bella looked sourly at them. ‘Well, is that you away out gallivanting again?’
Graham beamed at her. ‘Indeed we are, Bella. We’re going to a dinner dance at the Queen’s Hotel.’
With these words and a final swish of her long dress, they left. Bella, who knew all the story of Graham’s marital troubles, gazed at her cards and snorted. ‘You wouldn’t think he had a wife, would you? Gallivanting with Hattie to dinner dances. It’s no’ right.’
Granny glared at her. ‘Just you mind your cards, Bella, or else I might win.’
This threat was enough to make Bella study her hand with intensity. If there was one thing she loved more than her continued ill health, it was to win at cards and scoop all the pennies into her apron pocket.
‘Anyway,’ said Granny, ‘I think Graham behaved like a true gentleman – giving up living here and going to look after his injured wife, at least while she needed him. He should have told Hattie but, there again, maybe he didn’t want to hurt her feelings or promise her something that might not materialise.’
Bella gave her another sour look but then snapped back to attention when Alice unexpectedly won the game.
As the cards were being dealt out again, Bella gave me a pseudo-innocent look. ‘And when will we hear wedding bells for you, Ann. Lily will be leaving in the summer for her art college and that means you’ll be biding on your own if you don’t pull out all the stops to get another man.’
Before I could answer and much to my amazement, Lily said, ‘Don’t be so rude to Ann! She’ll get a great man one of these days. He’ll be good-looking and rich and he’ll fall head over heels in love with her.’
Granny laughed and the tension was broken but trust Bella to hit the nail on the head with her statement. Lily might make it sound like there were loads of eligible fellows hanging around me but that was just a fantasy in her ever-fertile imagination.
The truth was much bleaker – in the real world, the only man I ever met on a regular basis was Joe.
Afterwards, when Bella went home with the majority of pennies in her pocket, Alice said, ‘It’s good that Bella’s not walking around with her stick any more, Nan.’
Granny laughed. ‘Aye, we never got to the bottom of that wee incident, did we? We think the reason she kept quiet about it was because she’d had too much to drink from her medicine bottle.’
We all laughed.
There was some good news around in the shape of Danny’s shop. He was steadily building up his trade and I made a mental promise to go and see Maddie soon as I hadn’t seen her in over a week. She didn’t like coming out on to the snowy pavements and I knew they still hadn’t found another house.
Minnie and her son Peter were two other people I hardly saw during those winter days. They had managed to get another house in Albert Street and I promised myself I would go and see them as soon as this awful snow finished. But working the longer hours in the shop left me with little time for socialising. In fact, there were some nights I was in bed and asleep before Lily. When this happened, she would remark, gazing at me with her youthful but solemn eyes, ‘You are getting older, Ann, aren’t you?’
I would laugh and pretend to throw my pillow at her but she was right. I was certainly not getting any younger. I tried hard not to think of the time when she would be gone. This house would be so silent and empty and I didn’t think I could bear it. But did I have a choice? No, I didn’t.
The winter seemed to go on forever as we went about muffled up against the snow showers. We were all longing for spring and the sun and Maddie was longing for June and the birth of her baby. It was as if we were all in a world of waiting – a sort of limbo – and we were just putting in the time until the perfect day arrived.
But spring did arrive in May and we were all grateful to feel the warmth of the sun again on our faces. The roads and pavements became black once more as the snow slowly melted.
Lily was doing her final exams at Rockwell and she concentrated on her homework every night. This gave me an excuse to visit Danny and Maddie and on one of these visits they took me to see a house they were interested in. It wasn’t too far from the Pringles’ house but still far enough away for them to lead their own lives. I had the feeling that Danny was longing for a place of his own although he hadn’t said anything.
The house lay basking in the evening sunshine, like a fat contented cat, I thought. Long golden rays spread over the large garden and turned the west-facing windows into molten gold. It was an enchanting house and I liked it straight away. But I remained silent because it wasn’t me who would be staying in it.
Danny had been given the key from Mr Pringle who was acting as executor for an old lady who had recently died. Her only son lived in England and he had given the entire sale over to Mr Pringle. The only stipulation he had made was on the price. He knew what it was worth and he wanted the market price for it.
We wandered through the empty rooms. Dust rose as we walked over the bare wooden floors and mingled with the golden beams of sunlight. The living room window overlooked the river but because it lay on higher ground than the Pringles’ house, the entire panorama was stunning.
Maddie and Danny loved it. I could tell by their faces.
Maddie said, ‘Can we afford it, Danny? Also it’ll take more to furnish it. The flat was so small we didn’t need an awful lot of furniture.’
That was true and I couldn’t visualise their small amount of furniture filling this empty space.
‘Your dad will arrange a mortgage for us, Maddie, and we’ll just have to take our time with the furnishings. As long as we get this room and the bedrooms done then we can do the decorating slowly.’
Maddie nodded. I could see from her face that she was already planning colour schemes and room layouts.
Later, we walked through the sunlit street and I went straight back to Roseangle. The sale of the flat was almost complete but I had to get Maddie and Danny’s belongings packed up for when the removal men arrived.
I too would be without furniture when everything was removed but I had my own plans on how I would like to furnish our flat. Our flat – I liked the sound of that. Lily and I were having great fun looking at curtains and furniture and she had a good eye for colour. I would take her advice when it came to furnishings.
Hattie was only working two days a week now with Mrs Pringle but she was still glowing with happiness. Graham went back to Clydebank to put his divorce plans into action. He was saying goodbye to his old life and he was looking forward to a future with Hattie.
With the coming of the sun, I thought our lives would be smooth and our troubles were surely behind us. Maddie’s delivery date wasn’t that far away. Another six weeks to go and she was praying for the day to arrive to get it all over with and regain her figure. She was certainly much bigger this time around and she didn’t so much walk as waddle. It was getting her down.
Mr Pringle was making the arrangements for Joy and Lily’s accommodation in Glasgow and they were enrolling in the art college in September. With these comforting thoughts, I was happy to go to the shop and get on with all the chores for Granny and myself.
As it was, I should have known never to trust in comforting thoughts. They had a strange habit of turning against me like some jinx. One Sunday, Danny arrived at Granny’s door and asked me to go to Lochee with him. My heart sank at this request. What was wrong now?
Danny said he didn’t know. Patty had arrived that morning with the message. When we arrived, I was surprised to see Kit and George sitting beside a very quiet Maggie and Mick. For a moment, I thought Kathleen had come home but there was no sign of her or Kitty. I couldn’t think what had happened and suddenly felt so afraid.
‘What’s the matter, Kit?’ I asked, my voice sounding strange even to my own ears.
Maggie wasn’t looking at anyone. She seemed to find the toe of her slipper a fascinating thing to look at and that surprised me even more – especially after all her recent screeching about Kathleen.
Kit looked embarrassed. She glanced at Maggie and said, ‘Sammy has got Jean Martin in trouble – she’s expecting.’
Danny gasped. ‘But she’s only fifteen.’
Maggie looked even more uncomfortable while her husband gazed at the wall. It was the quietest I had ever seen him.
Then Maggie spoke. It was like bullets hitting a brick wall. ‘Wait till I get my hands on him. I’ll knock him from here to China.’
Danny and I looked at one another. We didn’t understand what she meant. When she got her hands on him? Surely he was in the house.
Kit explained, once again glancing at the furious, red-faced Maggie. ‘Sammy has gone away and we don’t know where he is.’
‘He’s joined up in the army, I reckon,’ mumbled Mick while Maggie glared at him.
Danny asked, ‘What’s going to happen to Jean?’
‘Her parents want Sammy to marry her but, as he’s already married, that’s not possible – unless Kathleen gets a divorce which we hope she will,’ said George.
Maggie opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. Instead, she stood up and Mick followed her to the door. However, when she reached it, she couldn’t help herself. She was so incensed. ‘If your Kathleen had been a proper wife to Sammy then this would never have happened.’
Kit wasn’t going to let this pass. ‘Maggie, your Sammy has been strutting around all the young lassies here since the minute he got back from the war. This has nothing to do with Kathleen but I’ll tell you this – she made the right decision when she made up her mind to clear off from all this bother and trouble and all because your Sammy can’t keep his trousers on.’
After they left, Danny and I stayed on for a few more minutes. There hadn’t been any fresh news from Kathleen and all the conversation seemed to go out the door along with the Malloys so we left.
On the way home, Danny said, ‘Can things get any worse at Lochee, I wonder?’
Quite honestly, I couldn’t answer him truthfully. It was a tangled mess and now Sammy was missing, Kathleen and Kitty were gone and poor fifteen-year-old Jean was in the family way. I wondered if this was Sammy’s secret that Kathleen had mentioned to me.
I said, ‘I think Kathleen knew about this pregnancy, Danny. She told me on the night she left that Sammy had a secret and that the Malloys wouldn’t bother her mum and dad again.’
‘It’s terrible that he’s got a fifteen-year-old girl in trouble.’
I couldn’t agree more, especially when I saw his worried face.
However, he cheered up slightly by the time we reached our stop. ‘We’ve bought the house, Ann. Hopefully we’ll get it into shape in time for the baby’s arrival.’
I smiled. Maddie didn’t have long to go now which was just as well because she was getting bigger every day – like a barrel on legs, she said, and it was true.
Danny was worried about Daniel. ‘I just hope he’s not jealous of the new baby. I couldn’t bear him being upset again – especially after the trouble we had when I came back from the army.’
I tried to reassure him. ‘Och, he’ll be fine, Danny. You’ve all got over your problems now.’ Yet, as I spoke, I too hoped everything would go well.
I was about to leave when he called after me. ‘I forgot to say that Peter has been made manager of Lipton’s in the Overgate and Minnie is expecting again.’
That was wonderful news and I made a mental note of either writing to them or maybe visiting them to say congratulations. When I had a spare moment – whenever that might be.