For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
—John 3:16
There were days when Eliza seemed more like a dream to Jack, like a figment of his imagination, or a vision he couldn’t quite figure out. Not like someone real at all. But today, after twenty months, Jack was in the back of a black SUV two hours from finally seeing her.
And that felt better than real.
Eliza lived in Houston now, where she’d just finished an assignment in the city’s most crime-ridden neighborhood. Jack leaned back and closed his eyes. The FBI loved Eliza Lawrence. She was becoming a legend, not just in Texas but all the way up to headquarters in Washington, D.C.
As informants went, Eliza had it all. She was nearly twenty-two now, but she looked young enough to pass for a junior in high school. And she was incredibly intelligent. She had an uncanny sense about traffickers and danger. So far she had helped take down eight trafficking rings and one drug cartel, all while looking like the picture of innocence. But her work had come at a cost.
She’d been nearly killed three times, and once she had been bound and gagged, stuffed in the trunk of a trafficker’s car. Each time God had saved her. Jack was sure now. He hadn’t doubted that since his time at Lake Grapevine.
And his missions had been just as dangerous.
They were meeting up today for one reason only. For the next four days they were set to do another mission as a married couple—this time in Cancún.
At first, Eliza hadn’t wanted to do this operation. She wanted to see him, she had written in her email. She looked forward to finding someplace in the world where they could spend a few days catching up. Something to fill in the miles and months of distance between the letters they had exchanged.
But she wasn’t sure she could pretend to be his wife.
It was only after their last email exchange that Jack had felt her attitude toward the mission change. She mentioned that maybe it had been long enough to not let feelings get in the way. I really only see you as a friend, Jack. Those were her words.
Like always, Oliver had been in on that communication. So had Eliza’s case agent.
Oliver had talked with Jack just a few days ago, making sure there was no reason to call off the trip. “I want her to have time with you. I think she needs it.” He leveled his gaze. “She’s a machine. Just like you, Jack.”
“I know.” Jack was proud of her. But he worried about her, too. “So the mission… it’s also time for her to have a break. Is that it?”
“It’s soft surveillance. No contact needed. We want information about buildings and points of entry.” Oliver hesitated. “But to answer your question, no.”
“No?” Jack was confused.
“She has one more year on her contract. You need her on this one.” Oliver stood and walked around his desk. “Also… we have possible information on her family.”
Jack hesitated. “Eliza’s mother and brother?”
Oliver took a folder from his desk and handed it to Jack. “Here. You can read about it. There’s a slight chance they could be in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.” Oliver went on to explain that a Belizean police officer had gotten a tip from someone in Little Belize. A woman and her young son had come to the village around the time of the disappearance. But not long after, the two had left with a few other families and started a new outpost deeper into the mountains.
“What makes them think the mother and son might be in Pennsylvania?”
“That’s where the other two families wound up.” Oliver hesitated. “The thing is, Susan James and her son should’ve gone back to Lower Barton Creek. Back to Ike Armstrong. Which is why I’m doubtful about the tip.”
Jack wasn’t going to tell Eliza. He wouldn’t dare get her hopes up. Not unless her family was actually found. Until then, every sign pointed to Eliza’s mother and brother being dead.
At least the trip to Cancún was on. Jack remembered Eliza’s email again. I really only see you as a friend, Jack. The words still made him sad. If she had been honest in her email, then whatever feelings she’d had for him were gone.
Jack would have to be okay with that. She was his friend—his only friend—and he was hers. From the moment he’d heard about the chance to work with her again, he had been counting down the days.
Two hours later the SUV pulled up in front of her hotel, where Eliza was waiting in the lobby.
Jack stepped out to help with her bag, but instead he couldn’t do anything but look at her. It took about two seconds to wonder if maybe everything she’d written in her email had only been a cover.
So that the next four days would be theirs alone.
She looked younger, if that were possible. Maybe after pretending for so long to be a seventeen-year-old. Or maybe it was God’s Spirit inside her. Either way, she left him unable to move or breathe. “Eliza.” That’s all he could say. Just her name.
And without another word between them, she was in his arms. “You’re really here.” She clung to him, pressing her cheek to his chest. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Jack wished he could freeze time. With her, he didn’t want the sun to set, didn’t want four days to come and go with cavalier indifference.
They were still undercover, still working a honeymoon mission, so this was appropriate behavior. But he wasn’t acting. She stepped back and kissed his cheek. Slowly. “I missed you every day, Jack.”
“Me, too.” And once more he had doubts about the operation. How was he supposed to say goodbye to her again? After spending time with her at a beach resort, talking with her and holding her hand? Pretending she was his wife?
Jack tried not to think about that. He would figure it out. They had work to do, and since this was a job, he couldn’t allow himself to feel more than friendship for her. You’re a machine, Ryder. Be a machine. That was his order from Oliver. Even if it took every bit of concentration and willpower he had.
Otherwise, even a less dangerous mission, like this, could get them killed.
THEY HAD THEIR hotel keys and they were walking down the hall of the eighteenth floor to the end suite. The setup was similar to the one in the Bahamas. A single door leading to a pair of separate doors. Other honeymooners might rent the full suite simply for privacy. But the situation here was the same as before. Eliza had her room and Jack had his.
They spent an hour apart and then headed for the beach.
Surveillance from a few weeks ago on this part of the beach told Jack the operatives in a local trafficking ring were probably somewhere on the shore. Maybe working at the hotel, or serving piña coladas to the tourists.
He wore a hundred-dollar black T-shirt and white shorts. She looked stunning in a breezy blue strapless dress. Her pale blond hair was longer now, spilling halfway down her back. He took her hand and tried not to stare.
How am I supposed to do this, God? I should never have taken this mission.
With every step at her side, Jack realized how much trouble he was in. The idea of being Eliza Lawrence’s friend was dying faster than daylight. Taking this mission was the worst decision of his career.
Jack looked at her again. Or was it the best?
When they were a few yards down the beach, he turned and took her other hand, too. There weren’t words to describe the way he was drawn to her. “I can’t believe you’re here.” No one could hear their conversation, not when they were so close to the surf.
“Where did you think I’d be?” She smiled, teasing him. “This is our honeymoon.”
If only it were true. Jack eased her into his arms and held her body against his. The surf washed over their feet and he wanted to stay like that forever.
You have a job to do, Ryder. He stepped away from her and they kept walking. But a hundred yards down the beach he stopped again. He couldn’t help himself. Again he took her in his arms and this time he searched her eyes. “Can we sit on your balcony, Eliza? I’ve wanted to be with you every day since we said goodbye.”
“Yes.” She lay her head against his chest. “I’d like that very much.”
A pair of men were walking their way, paying special attention to Eliza. As if they somehow knew she was an informant. One of the men said something to the other, and they slowed their pace.
Without giving his actions a second thought, Jack took her face in his hands. “Don’t look at them, Eliza.” Then, with a barely constrained passion, slow and tender he kissed her. The way he’d wanted to kiss her since that time in the waves in Nassau. Jack had no idea if the men were informants or spies or part of a ring.
Protocol said to kiss her in this situation. So no one would doubt they were a married couple. She kissed him next, and the hunger was there for both of them. Whatever happened after this mission, one thing was certain. The kiss had proven it. They weren’t acting.
And Eliza Lawrence could never be just his friend.
THE FBI DIDN’T forbid Jack to cross the threshold into Eliza’s room. But the decision had to be mutually agreed upon. And they could only meet in a gathering room or on a balcony. Never in the bedroom.
That wouldn’t be a problem. Jack had no intention of doing anything that would compromise Eliza. Not with her past, and not with the way he was better understanding God’s will for his life. Not with his commitment to the FBI. No, he would cherish her, that alone. Friend or more. God had told him to love her, and on this trip he would show her the meaning of the word.
They sat on her balcony in two chairs, side by side, their arms touching. For a long time they said nothing. Eliza spoke first. “I’ve been reading the Bible.”
“You have?” Jack had no idea. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I feel funny. Sharing my feelings in an email half the bureau will read.” She raised one shoulder. “It’s weird, right?”
He considered that for a moment. His emails had been just as shallow as hers. “It is.” He sighed. “I hate that it’s been our only way of communicating.”
“Me, too.” She tilted her face to the sun. “But since I couldn’t call you whenever I wanted, I bought a used Bible at a secondhand store.” She smiled at him. “I can’t stop reading it.”
He’d been doing the same. “I’m loving the Psalms. David was always in danger.”
“Mmm. Just like us.” There was an easiness about their conversation, like they’d never been apart at all. “There’s something I want to do while I’m here. If you could help me.”
“What is it?” He found his best Jimmy Stewart voice. “You want me to lasso the moon for you, Eliza. Huh, is that what you want?”
“What?” She laughed out loud. “You sound just like him.”
“Sure. Okay.” Jack grinned as he studied her eyes, her face. “You wrote that you’d seen the movie, so… I’ll have to believe you.” Her quiet laughter was better than anything he had ever heard. Because the sound meant she was healing. Even while working one dangerous operation after another, she was moving on from her past.
Her eyes sparkled as she pointed at him. “You don’t think I saw it.”
“No, no.” He loved playing with her like this. Everything between them had always been so serious. He chuckled. “Just making sure not everything in those emails was a lie.”
“It wasn’t!” She was still laughing. “We turned on the TV over Christmas break and there it was. It’s a Wonderful Life. I asked if you’d heard of it.” Her joy faded a little. “Because… I never watched an hour of TV… back when…”
A sinking feeling hit him. Of course she had been telling the truth. Where would she have seen a Christmas classic before? “Eliza…” Don’t let her close off, God. Please. “I was just teasing.” He uttered a quiet chuckle, trying to salvage the moment. “Sometimes it felt like you were just filling space with what you wrote.”
Her smile remained. “I know.” She tilted her head. Her beauty took his breath. “But I would never really lie to you.” She grew more serious. “Except once.”
“Okay. You don’t have to tell me about that.” This wasn’t the time to ask her. She would tell him when she wanted to… if she wanted to. He stared at the distant water for a few minutes. “So… what is it you want to do while you’re here?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I want you to baptize me.” A light filled her eyes and their eyes met. “In the ocean.”
Again his heart soared. God had heard his prayers. During the dangerous missions and months apart, her faith had changed her. “Baptizing you…” His soul was almost too full for him to speak. “That would be an honor, Eliza.”
“Thank you.” She turned to him. “Were you baptized?”
“I was. At our family’s church when I was twelve.” He could picture the moment. Shane and him choosing to get baptized that day. “My brother and I had been studying what the Bible teaches about baptism.” He smiled at the memory. “Finally we couldn’t wait another week.”
She nodded. “That’s how I feel. I want to bury my old life… in the waters of the sea. Leave it behind me for good.” She breathed in, her face toward the sky. “When I come up out of that water, everything will be new.”
“Yes.” He blinked back tears. He hadn’t dreamed they would have this conversation their first day together. “When do you want to do it?”
Her smile gave him the answer even before she did. “Now.”
THE SUN HUNG just above the horizon as they reached the water. They held hands and faced the waves, their feet in the gentle surf. Jack pictured Eliza’s life, the loneliness and loss.
“If I could go back and take you from that place… give you the life you deserved, Eliza…” He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Nothing… nothing you ever saw or did at that place was your fault.” He gently faced her. “You know that.”
“Yes.” The peace in her eyes was not of this world. “But I made choices I regret. If I had it to do again, I’d let the guards shoot me rather than talk a single girl into going to the Palace.” She sighed. “I want to put everything about that time behind me.” She slipped off her swimsuit cover-up and tossed it on the dry sand. Then she took a few steps into the shallow water. “Please?”
From his phone app, Jack had read the Scriptures about baptism on the elevator ride down to the lobby. He peeled off his T-shirt and set it on the shore. He was ready to do this. They walked out ten yards or so, where the water was waist deep. It was only May, so the sea was chilly.
Eliza didn’t seem to mind. She wasn’t shivering or jittery. Her eyes met his. “Go ahead, Jack.”
He nodded. “Throughout the book of Acts, when someone came to life-changing faith in Jesus, they got baptized. Jesus, Himself, was baptized by John—to show us the way.” A hope that knew no limits filled him. “Eliza… do you want Jesus to be your Lord and Savior?”
“I do.” A smile lit up her face.
Jack remembered how this was done. When he was growing up, baptisms happened regularly at his church.
He stood beside her and brought her hand to her face so she could hold her nose. “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. For the forgiveness of your sins and for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Buried with Him in death”—Jack laid her backward under the water and then carefully lifted her out again—“raised with Him to new life, Eliza. Now and evermore.”
Salt water streamed down her hair and brow, but nothing could dampen the joy on her face, the healing that filled her eyes. She laughed and raised her hands in the air. “Yes!” She looked to the sky again. “Yes, God!”
“Congratulations.” He searched her eyes. Maybe this was only the beginning for the two of them. It was possible, right? They had made it this far. He put his hand alongside her face. “I’ve never… experienced anything like that.”
Laughter spilled from her lips. “I feel it. I feel God here.” Then she turned to Jack and held him, like she might never let go. “I’m brand-new, Jack. Like when I was little.”
When she was little…
Suddenly, in that very instant, Jack knew what he had to do. He could remember again her child-sized body, limp in his arms when she was just nine years old, the way it felt to rescue her from the waves and carry her to shore. Her arms around his neck like they were right now.
I need to tell her, God.
Yes, my son. Today is a new beginning.
Jack took a deep breath. As pinks and blues streaked across the Cancún sky, they gathered their things and walked up the beach. She dried off with one of the resort’s blue-striped towels, but though the air was still warm, she was shivering. Jack found a sweatshirt in her bag, and gave it to her. “Here.”
“Thanks.” She pulled it over her head. “I think I’m just… amazed. In awe.” Her damp hair hung down her back, but her face was dry now. “I can’t believe it.”
Jack had a feeling that was about to be a theme. Again, there could be traffickers watching them, but he wasn’t worried. He and Eliza were more than convincing. They had long since moved past pretending. He took her into his arms and hugged her again. For a long time.
Finally he stepped back. “Eliza, what was the one thing?”
She was still smiling. “The one thing?”
“Yes.” He searched her face. “You said you only lied about one thing in your emails. What was it?”
The look in her eyes changed and the attraction was back. He could see it in her sudden shyness. “You want me to tell you?”
Hidden facts and clandestine behavior were part of life for undercover agents and informants. But not with the two of them. Not anymore. “Yes.” He looked all the way to her heart. “No more secrets between us.”
“Okay.” She stepped back, but she didn’t look away. “When I told you I only saw you as a friend.” She laced her fingers between his, still facing him, their faces inches apart. “That wasn’t true, Jack. You could never be just a friend.”
“No.” He drew her closer still, and brushed his cheek against hers. “You’ll never be only a friend to me, either.”
“Really?” Tears filled her eyes. “You mean it?”
“Eliza…” Everything disappeared except her. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”
There were no people on the beach, no strangers walking toward them or studying them, not that Jack could see. He could barely remember his name let alone the mission they were on. And in a way that he couldn’t stop if he had all the strength in the world, he kissed her.
The fire between them was instant, and after a minute Jack moved a few feet away from her. Now was the time. He had to tell her the truth. No matter what she thought of him after today. Before he changed his mind. He breathed in sharp. “There’s something… something I have to tell you, too.”
Concern flickered in her face. Like she couldn’t imagine anything that might cause him to break the moment they’d been in.
He eased his fingers between hers once more. Make her understand, please, God. “You aren’t going to believe this. Because… when I found out, I didn’t believe it either.”
She held more tightly to his hands and waited.
“When I met you at the Palace that day… it wasn’t the first time.”
Confusion filled her expression. “It was.” She shook her head. “I’d… I’d never seen you before.”
“You had.” Jack hesitated. “Eliza, that day in the ocean… the teenage boy who rescued you.” He fought to keep eye contact, to hold on to the connection with her. “That was me. My family and I… we went to that exact beach every summer. Including the summer of your rescue.”
Even in the fading light, he could see the blood drain from her face. “No… that boy was younger than you and he was with his—” Eliza released his hands and moved a few feet away. Her body began to shake. “Your brother.” She put her hand over her mouth and when she dropped it, she shook her head. “No, Jack. Not your brother!”
Then she turned and ran from him, along the shore away from the resort. As if by running she could put distance between the two of them, distance from something she hadn’t known until now. The awful truth about her rescue. A rescue she had never wanted in the first place.
And the price Jack had paid to make it happen.