Chapter Eleven

“Zoo, zoo, zoo!”

Skylar didn’t bother hiding her grin as Cullen’s excited voice wove easily through the house. Still, she didn’t think it was a good idea.

Day and night, she struggled with her guilty conscious about her own son. How she’d been thinking about herself and not him.

And now she no longer had him in her life.

Being with Cullen was a double-edged sword. It helped but also chipped away at the scab over her past, exposing her to more and more. Reminding her just how much it was going to hurt when it ended.

“Ready?”

“Sure.” She went to the fridge and grabbed two peanut butter biscuits from the top that she then gave to Alpin and kissed his head. “Be good, handsome.”

“He going to be okay?” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I know you have that thing to view him, but we’re still gone for a long time today.”

“Mrs. O’Neary will be over a few times to check on him. He’ll be fine. We had a long walk this morning.”

The boy’s hard footfalls heralded his arrival. “Lions to see?”

She grabbed her purse, and she reached for her keys after ensuring her phone was there.

Lifting Cullen, she brushed his hair from his eyes. “Yes, we can see some lions.”

Parker herded them outside and locked her house.

Just like we were a real family.

Skylar climbed into the passenger seat of her truck after Parker plucked Cullen from her arms to secure him in the car seat. Soon after, he hopped up and kissed her.

“Thank you,” he murmured against her lips.

“Kissing,” Cullen chatted from the back.

Parker nodded. “Absolutely.”

She smiled.

The drive to the zoo took them a little over an hour and for most of the ride, she and Cullen talked about the different animals they could encounter. Parker participated, but allowed the two of them to do the most talking.

Once there, they parked and climbed out. Parker put Cullen’s tool belt and army men back in the truck.

“Need them.”

“Not here. We don’t want to lose them.”

She kept quiet, reminding herself she was only the temporary fiancée, although at times she began to wonder how “temporary” she was. She’d expected the DNA results to have been back by now. It was nearing a month, and she swore they didn’t take that long. A few weeks seemed excessive. Part of her was okay with it, because it allowed her to keep the fantasy alive for a little longer.

Skylar waited while Cullen decided where he wanted to head first.

“Papa?”

Her heart seized at the glow surrounding Parker the moment he heard it. She hadn’t heard him called that before, and there was a bit of shock on Parker’s face, but he seemed to roll with it.

“What, Cullen?”

“Your favorite animal?”

Her marine gave a small indulgent smile to the boy staring up at him with adoration. “I like the big cats. Lions, tigers, and leopards.”

“Me, too,” he said, nodding his head solemnly.

“Is that where you want to go first?”

“Yes, then the bears. Like Murray.”

“You got it, C-Man, like Murray.” Parker winked at her over the boy’s head.

He was rapidly turning her into a pile of mush. As they strolled, Cullen alternated from walking between them to dashing ahead. He loved other kids and had no problem talking to anyone they came across. This was no longer the scared child she’d first encountered in her garage.

In the area for the large cats, his ohhs and ahhs made her fall harder for the little boy. Although hovering close by, Parker allowed Cullen to explore. Other women and some men couldn’t help but stare at him.

She didn’t blame them. That man is fine.

While running, Cullen pitched forward and fell on the concrete. Skylar headed for him immediately, but Parker had reached Cullen and crouched before him. While she wasn’t in a position to overhear the words between them, there was no mistaking the care and gentleness moving back and forth between her guys.

My guys?

Crap. She was worse off than she’d initially thought. Everything she’d been worried about was coming true. Becoming attached. Being unable to simply look at this in black and white. The lines had become muddled, and she loved the thought of being a family again. But not with just anyone. Cullen and Parker. She’d fallen into this mess, and it was going to gut her when it fell apart and was taken away.

Parker never looked away from Cullen as he lifted him back to his feet. His muscles flexed, showing off his impressive body and strength. It wasn’t hard to witness what he brought to his job. But right now, with this boy—who might not even be his son—he was incredible. Parker dusted him off and looked over the injuries. There was an undisguised love in his eyes and his tone. Parker wiped his fingers over Cullen’s eyes, moments before the boy did it himself and nodded.

She wasn’t the only one who was going to have a hard time if it came back that Cullen wasn’t his. Parker loved him, even if he didn’t say it.

Cullen ran back to the enclosure. Parker rose with an easy push to his feet.

Skylar averted her gaze the moment he glanced in her direction. Him witnessing how he made her feel, especially when it pertained to Cullen, wasn’t anything she needed.

He strode to her and straddled the backless bench she’d claimed for herself. Leaning forward, he brushed back some hair from her shoulder, exposing her ear and neck. “You’re driving me crazy, baby. Watching you is turning me into a randy teenager. How are you doing? Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

Her entire body trembled as he pressed his lips to hypersensitive skin.

“Let’s go.” He helped her up. “Someone is excited to see more animals.”

Yeah, someone.

Such a kid at heart.

…

Parker dropped their lunch trash in the receptacle. Even from this distance, he could pick up on the husky laughter of one Skylar Radford. Even here. At the zoo. He was so in tune with her, it was as if there existed a single line from her to him. It fucking scared him just how much he was coming to depend on her.

I’m a single man playing at being engaged.

Even thinking that, the words sounded, off. Wrong.

When he’d been called “Papa,” that had been a blow he hadn’t been expecting. He’d already lost his heart to this kid; there wasn’t any way to prevent that. He understood now how people changed when they held a child, their child, in their arms for the first time.

Right now, Cullen sat on Skylar’s lap, chatting away as he pointed in the direction of the aviary.

This was a vision offering him a chance at forever. His son’s sun-kissed skin and the rich chocolate-brown hair melded perfectly with the riotous natural curls in varying shades of brown and black on Skylar as well as her smooth dark skin.

The entire plan had shifted. The ruse had altered. It had become so much more and far faster than he thought possible.

Skylar was his first thought in the morning and his final at night. Cullen a close second, but he was trying desperately to keep the boy at a distance, in case the results came back that Gemma had lied.

He had the letter at home, but hadn’t been ready to open it. The boy had come to be such an important part of his life, and he wasn’t ready to chance losing him. Whatever words were on that paper had the power to change his life. He wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet. Even though the longer this kept on, the harder it was going to be for all involved.

He removed his hat and shoved a hand through his hair. Control had been taken from him. And he wasn’t sure he was on board with that.

On one hand he was, because he wasn’t ready to admit or accept how much she’d come to mean to him. On the other, he wasn’t ready to give up the single life.

Was he really, though? He’d spent a long time longing for that woman right there. Not taking the ones who offered themselves up to him, wanting only her.

He moved closer as another boy stopped to talk to Cullen.

“I have a daddy and a mommy, but Daddy couldn’t come.” The boy sneered down his nose at Cullen. Who, like him, didn’t have any problem standing up to a challenge.

“My papa is here.” Cullen pointed at him, getting another smile from him. Then he pointed to Skylar. “My mama.” One hundred percent proprietary claim in that tone. Parker nearly laughed, because he felt the same way.

Skylar stiffened slightly, but he caught it.

“Come on, Daniel, we have to get going.” The boy’s mom shepherd him away.

“Skylar?”

“Not sure why Cullen said that. Sorry.” There was something in her tone that was far more important to address.

Longing? Pain?

“Are you okay?” Needing to see her expressive face, he turned her toward him. She couldn’t hide the truth from him.

The shimmery tears lingered before she got them under control.

“Of course.” There was forced cheer in her tone, and it ripped at him like talons along his belly.

He drew Skylar tight to him. “Stop lying to me, baby. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

And he sure as fuck wanted to be the one to slay all her dragons.

Cullen wedged his way between them. “Me, too.”

Parker lifted him and never released Skylar, either. Cullen giggled as he kissed them both, Skylar first.

“Mama. Papa.” Then he wrapped his arms around Skylar’s neck, leaning toward her. She took him and finally stepped back.

“I’m not your mama, Cullen. I’m Skylar.”

She put him down, studiously ignoring Parker. He heard the hitch in her voice and tugged one of her natural curls. That got her attention.

He despised the sadness in her eyes she struggled to hide. So he winked.

Her smile, while slow, came.

“’Kay, Mama. Ready.” Cullen took her hand and began walking.

Parker reluctantly released her hair and appeased himself by taking her free hand. Dipping close, he whispered, “That’s your name now, it seems.”

Parker liked it. More and more, he’d come to view Skylar in that role as opposed to Gemma. This woman here, with him, never failed to have a smile for Cullen or make one come to his face. She was unfailingly patient with him, never getting mad at all his questions. And C-Man did have a ton of questions.

“Guess so.” Her words were clipped.

The rest of the day was full of laughs, photos—as many as he could finagle—and more laughter. His leg hurt like hell, reminding him he wasn’t close to passing his physical, but it was worth every ache.

“Tired, Mama.”

“I’ll carry you, Cullen.”

His son frowned and shook his head. “No, want Mama.”

Skylar gazed at him. “I don’t carry whining boys.”

His lip trembled. “P’se Mama.” Cullen put his arms up toward her.

Parker held his breath at another flash of pain.

She lifted him and tossed him up twice before kissing him. “I can’t say no when you ask so nicely.”

Cullen squealed and returned her kisses with as much fervor as existed within his tiny body. Not that Parker blamed him. Content in her arms, the boy burrowed into her, his face against her neck.

“Mama smells good.” Another yawn. He’d be sleeping shortly.

At the truck, he put a very tired boy in his car seat. He turned and closed the door to find Skylar had already climbed in. With the tool belt and army men close, Cullen gave a smile. And closed his eyes.

He shot her a glare, then lifted himself in.

“I am capable of holding a door for you.”

“I’m aware. Just like I’m aware your leg is bothering you, but you won’t stop being you. I am able to get in my own truck.”

He grunted, determined not to get into a fight about his ability to handle PT and life. As he drove home, she continually flexed her injured hand as if still testing how much she could handle. He didn’t like how it still bothered her. If he could do more than carry the wood for her, he would, but he couldn’t.

I hate feeling helpless. And he did, in all three of these situations. Cullen’s was out of his hands, the fate resting on that paper. Skylar’s, he couldn’t do the work for her. And his own future in Recon—he had to pass and get his physical therapist to sign off.

…

The shower was warm and steamy after she killed the water. After wiping off her face, Skylar tucked the towel around her and padded to stand before the mirror.

Cullen had been sleeping when they returned, and she didn’t like not saying goodbye to him at night, but she was too emotional to deal with Gemma.

Too exposed.

Even hours later, his calling her “Mama” ripped her raw. As she stared at her reflection, tears welled before slipping down her cheeks. She gripped the edges of the counter so hard she didn’t doubt there would be marks on her palms.

“I never thought I’d be called ‘Mama’ again. And for it to be done by Cullen…”

She exhaled sharply and squared her shoulders.

“I can do this. So what if I’m nothing more than a glorified babysitter with benefits. Amazing benefits.” She touched her index fingers to the corners of her eyes, dismissing the lingering liquid drops.

I have to get myself under control, because Parker will be back. And he’s too observant to hide anything from.

Thunder rolled as she stepped from the bathroom and made her way to her bedroom. Storms. She loved them.

After tugging on her orchid lace hipster panties, she drew on her lounge pants of off-white fuzziness, covered in blue and gray owls. Her oversize pale lemon-yellow shirt had nothing on it, but hung off one shoulder. She retreated to the front and let Alpin out to take care of his needs before the storm arrived.

Once he was back in and on his bed, she turned on some cello music and picked up her crossword puzzle book. Opening it to her latest, she got to work. She hadn’t taken down the hair she’d gathered off her neck for the shower.

Losing herself in what was her downtime, she paused when her skin peppered with goose bumps, and she looked up. Parker stood there, by the door, arms and legs crossed, watching her with an unblinking familiarity.

“When did you come in? I didn’t hear you.” Alpin wasn’t any help—he remained crashed on his bed.

“A bit ago. God, Skylar, I could watch you all day. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

His words sailed through her on liquid heat. She gave a small shake of her head and was about to tell him to stop pushing compliments when they were alone, but she noticed something about him.

The man before her wasn’t the confident man she’d come to know, and dare she say it, care about. Perhaps even love. She saw something else in him he didn’t show the world. Out in public he was one way, but here, with her or with her and Cullen, he was different. He watched her, and it wasn’t just in a sexual way. Like he didn’t want to miss something, and if he looked away, he was afraid he might.

“What’s going on?” She put her pencil in the book and closed it, giving him her undivided attention.

“Results are back.”

Heart thundering in her chest, Skylar rose and walked to him, took his hand in hers, and led him back to the couch, stopping on the way to lower the volume of the music she’d been playing, Sheku Kanneh-Mason.

Here it was, the reason for this entire sham. Why he was in her house.

This was the end of what they had. Right?

“Do you want to tell me what it said?”

He pulled the letter from his back pocket. “Haven’t opened it yet.”

She canted her head to the right. “And you don’t want to?”

“Not alone.”

“I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave.”

He wound his fingers around hers and gave a squeeze.

“Can I ask you something before you open it?”

Those amazing green-blue eyes of his latched onto her. “What?”

“Do the results matter? Will it change how much you love Cullen?”

“No. I won’t love him any less.”

“And will you suddenly stop being there for him?”

He glared at her. “Never. I will always be there for him.”

She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “There you go, then. It doesn’t matter what it says. Your decision is made.” She refused to make this about her and where it would put her in the grand scheme of things. This was her time to be there for Parker. He needed her support, not her pain and fears.

“Gemma could take him from me.”

Skylar weighed how best to say what she wanted to convey. These were dangerous waters she treaded through.

“Gemma could have kept him from you completely. She didn’t. Whatever that paper says, Parker, try to think she does want what’s best for Cullen.” Even she had a hard time swallowing that, but reminded herself this wasn’t about her.

“I thought you didn’t like her.”

That was putting it mildly. “I don’t. At all. But this isn’t about my dislikes.” She let him go and rocked back slightly. “Do you want a beer?”

“Yes.”

“Be right back.”

She hurried off before she opened her mouth again and got him a beer. Her hands shook as she drew open the door and scanned the interior. Skimming the brands, she grabbed one longneck and stepped back.

I hope I don’t say something wrong.

She could go for a nice mixed drink but didn’t want to have anything that might dull her senses. Instead, she poured herself a glass of juice, downed half, then filled it back up.

She was stalling. After a deep breath, she picked up both drinks and scrunched her toes before making the final trek. The distance wasn’t great, and she nearly tripped over the nonexistent barrier between the kitchen and her living room.

He wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he held the letter in both hands as his forearms rested upon his thighs. His longer hair hung down, obscuring his eyes along with those rugged, masculine features. He was raw and exposed. It slayed her.

Her heart cried out for him, and she bit her lower lip before propelling herself toward him. “Here we go.”

…

Parker exhaled slowly and lifted his gaze from the bent envelope he’d been carrying around for a few days. His insides were a mess, and he wasn’t sure he could go through with this.

“Hey.” Skylar’s gentle voice wound around him, tugging him from the edge of the huge pit he was being dangled over.

Nothing could have prepared him for this—not his childhood, not his military training, nothing.

She appeared before him, on her knees. Skylar settled her hands on the outsides of his thighs, close to but not touching the envelope he held. In his periphery he noticed the drink beside him on the end table. “Parker.”

He lifted his gaze to hers and fell a bit further in love with this incredible woman, if that were possible.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“This could change everything. It will. Either way.”

A muscle flexed in her jaw. “Do you really think that?”

“You don’t?”

A sad smile flashed across her features. She pinched her lips tight then moved her hands, reaching for the envelope, only to pause.

He waited.

“May I?” She gestured to the paper, head cocked to the side.

Parker handed it over. He stared at her fingers as they curved around the edges. Her pale, unpainted nails had some chips in them from work. There was a half-moon bruise on her thumbnail.

Sexy. He knew what she did and how she got those marks.

Once she held the results in her hand, she shuffled closer on her knees, pushing her way between his legs until she couldn’t get any closer. He closed his arms around her and rested his face against the side of her neck.

She smelled like home to him. Her scent, heat, and comforting feel made it all right.

I can take whatever the results are. So long as she’s here with me.

“Here,” she whispered, pulling a hand around and placing the envelope back in it, only to cover his larger one with her smaller one. “Look at me.”

Brushing his lips along her skin, he listened.

“Fact one, you love Cullen more than anything in the world and you already introduce him as yours, even if you don’t realize it. Fact two, if this paper says you aren’t one of the contributors to his DNA, fact one isn’t going to change one bit. Just like it won’t if it does say you are. You are his father. In the most important way that counts, you are there for him. You protect him and you love him. He knows this, and he trusts you because of it.”

“I don’t want to lose him.” Beads of sweat gathered along his forehead, and he brushed them away with a furious swipe of one hand.

Skylar never dropped her straightforward gaze from his. “Then you fight for him. She came to you telling you he was yours, telling Cullen that as well. That has to count for something.”

Parker slid back on the sofa and lifted her until she was on his lap, curled up against him. Just how he wanted her to be. With a swig of beer, he slid his finger below the seal and opened it.

Skylar didn’t crane to see; she just rested her head against his chest and stroked her fingers along the inside of his biceps, following the ink trail. He knew she could feel the racing of his heartbeat as it cavorted within his chest. Nearly exploding, he strove to calm down. His palms were sweaty, and his gut was more like a rock garden. Nausea churned as he withdrew the single sheet of paper inside.

DNA Test Report jumped out at him, centered in the middle of the page. For personal knowledge only was below that.

There was a case number. Gemma’s and Cullen’s names. And his, under the phrasing “Alleged FATHER.”

Bile raced up and he was frozen, unable to move his gaze farther down to the columns with their numbers and circles.

Mortars went off in his ears, bringing with them a hollow feeling of being completely alone, unable to center and focus. He’d experienced it many times before and knew how to navigate but for once, he didn’t think he could pull it off. He wanted to flee. To hide.

“I’m right here, Parker. I’m not going anywhere.” Her voice pushed through the ringing roar in his ears, grounding him.

Pressing his lips to her head, allowing her soft curls to brush his nose, he moved his gaze down. Beyond the numbers that dealt with the sizes of the alleles to the findings.

Closing his eyes, he set the paper beside his thigh and wrapped his arms tighter around Skylar.

“He’s mine,” he mumbled into her satiny skin. “Cullen’s my son. Ninety-nine point nine percent probability.”

His son. The words fell from his tongue and felt right.

She wriggled until she could get his gaze on hers. His heart turned over at the amount of joy and love in her eyes. A smile overtook her features, and she cupped his scruff-lined jaw in her strong yet feminine hands.

“Congratulations, Parker.” A hint of pain flashed before it was wiped away, as if it hadn’t ever been. Skylar tried to cuddle close once more, but he restrained her, took over her act of holding the jaw.

“What?” she asked, stilling as he skimmed his thumbs along the corners of her mouth. Her eyes widened slightly as he didn’t move and didn’t speak.

Parker covered her mouth with his. He wanted to take, rush, and sink between her thighs, allowing her tightness to hold him and catapult him to the level he craved. He didn’t. He kept it gentle, coaxing.

Warmth flooded him, and he could feel each strong beat of his heart as he twined his tongue around hers. Everything hummed, and he couldn’t find any logical words to express how this woman made him feel.

I want her curves naked against me.

Continuing to kiss her, he readjusted them until she was beneath him on the sofa. He left her mouth to trail light brushes along her jaw and throat.

“Parker,” she gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders.

“Shhh. Let me.”

Her mewl was more of a whimper. At the hem of her shirt, he inched it up, needing her to scream his name. Needing to cry hers.

Rising up, he used both hands to push it up until her breasts were bared to him. He didn’t stop, continued removing the shirt, lifting her arms so he could get it completely off. As soon as it cleared her curls, he released the material and dragged his hungry gaze over her.

Fucking perfect.

He didn’t even have a name for the color of her skin; it was brown but it was so much more, hints of gold, red, and perfection. Same with her hair, an amazing blend of hues. Breasts a little more than a handful rose and begged for his touch.

The dip of her waist, the swell of her hips that currently had the waistband of her sweats on it.

Time to rectify that.

He held her gaze as he dug his fingers beneath the waist and began to pull as he inched back. She lifted her hips, her lower lip caught in her teeth, chest rising and falling as she took short, sharp breaths.

When her pants were to her knees, he dropped his gaze and groaned. Lace and what he now knew to be her hipster panties.

“God, you’re killing me, baby.” Splashes of her skin were visible through the lace, and he knew exactly what was there.

Inching back more, he removed the pants and tossed them to the side. He held one leg under the knee and skimmed his hand up the back of her thigh toward her ass. Her pupils dilated, and her breathing sped up.

His, too.

“Fucking work of art.”

“Please.”

“No baby, not fast. Not tonight.” He shrugged. “Not yet, anyway. I’m going to take my time with you and enjoy every last second.”

They were crossing into new territory, and he was beyond ready. It wasn’t just because he knew for certain Cullen was his—he’d want the boy in his life regardless. It had everything to do with the woman beside him. Skylar. There wasn’t any specific logic, but the fact that she’d never shied away during their farce, that she’d been at his side through it all for no other reason than he’d asked her for help. All of it proved she was something unique. If ever there was a woman to make him okay with giving up his old ways, his old life, it was this woman, right here.

He pushed up slowly, allowing his hands to skim along her figure, indulging in the softness that was hidden from most. She showed the world the hard woman, the woodworker who put everyone else before her. Right now, he was privy to the soft one. The one he wanted to protect more than his next breath. The one who was there for him without judgment.

She had a heart of gold, and he was falling for her.

This was about them, tonight. Him and her. No one else.

She tipped her head back as he rose, maintaining eye contact, and he dipped his forward. Their lips nearly brushed as he slid his hands up her side.

“Fucking sexy.”

Dragging his finger down her sternum between her breasts, he relished how her deep breaths grew faster and shallower.

“Parker.”

“Yes, baby?”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Torture me.”

“I promise, it’ll be worth it.” He bent closer and captured her breast in his mouth.

This woman, she was everything he could ever ask for.

Breathy gasps fell from her lips as he switched his attention from one breast to the next, flicking his tongue over the taut nipples. With his free hand, he skimmed along her stomach and closed his eyes briefly when his fingertips brushed the lace separating him from his goal.

Relinquishing her breasts from his attention, he kissed his way down her torso, inching backward until his lips had reached the same point his fingers had.

“Parker,” she begged.

“Shh,” he shushed her. “Let me look at you.” Lifting his gaze, he took her all in, sprawled out on her sofa. “Fucking perfect.”

Pushing up, he kissed her on the lips, then retreated, taking her panties with him. Those he shoved into his pocket.

“You have such fucking smooth skin, baby. I love touching it.” He slipped his hand up the backs of her thighs once more, angling her hips where he wanted them. “Love touching you. The way you moan and squirm.” Dipping his head, he ran the flat of his tongue up her pussy, allowing her taste to sink in. “How you taste.”

“More.”

“Patience.”

She sank her hands into his hair and tugged, dragging him to her pussy. “No.”

Stabbing his tongue in deep, he was rewarded with a mixture of a moan and a purr. He wanted that again. So he repeated it. Over and over until she screamed his name and came hard on his tongue.

He covered her completely as he stroked his freed cock.

“I want in your pussy,” he mumbled against her full lips. “I want your tight heat choking my cock.”

“Yes.”

“Nails ripping the skin from my back, legs tight around my waist as if you never want me to leave.”

He pushed two fingers inside her, a low groan sliding free as her muscles clenched around him. Her hips rose, and he fucked her with his fingers, eyes locked on hers; he watched the pleasure roll over her soft features, the hazy look in her gaze, how her lips parted as his name fell as litany from them.

“If I could capture this look on your face forever, I would.” He brushed their lips together. “You look like this with me. For me. Because of me.”

“Only you,” she whispered, her words raw in their honesty.

He stripped in seconds and covered himself to slip into her with a single push. She was so responsive and immediately arched, accepting him, grasping his upper body, allowing him that familiar and perfect bite of her nails.

Her mouth made a little moue and those incredibly curved eyelashes dropped before rising once more and letting him drown in those incredible brown eyes.

“Forever.” His whisper filled the air.