Nolan

 

THE MOMENT I stepped into the pre-flight briefing, I felt Jack’s eyes on me. I looked his way and gave him a nod. He lifted a brow then narrowed his eyes at me. Sitting to his left was Mike. He must have told him about Linnzi.

I shot him a smirk and sat on the other side of the table as far from him as I could, which didn’t please him in the slightest.

After talking about a new program for the F-22s and its ability to assist the pilot out of an inverted spin, we all stood. I was first up, ready to get into my gear and up in the air. I slipped past everyone and headed out the door.

“Nolan! Nolan!” Jack called out.

I glanced over my shoulder and shot him a smile. “Hey, Jack. How was your weekend?”

He shot me a smile back, but it was more of a fuck you, asshole, you have something to tell me kind of smile.

“My weekend was great. How about yours? You flew home for Truitt’s son’s birthday. I heard you brought a little something, or rather, someone, back with you.”

“Not here, Jack.”

“Not here? Not here! Are you out of your fucking mind? Nolan, Linnzi? Your Linnzi? The Linnzi?”

I looked around and sighed. “Yes, yes, and yes.”

“What in the actual fuck?”

After another quick look around, I motioned for him to step into an empty briefing room and then shut the door.

“I didn’t know she was back in town. Her parents didn’t know she was coming back either. She surprised them. Amy had tried calling to tell me, but honestly I didn’t listen to her messages because I just…couldn’t.”

“Does she remember?”

I shook my head. “Not everything. She saw me at the birthday party, and the first thing out of her mouth was…it’s you.”

He frowned. “What does that mean?”

“She saw me in Paris a few years back. She followed me after I left the coffee shop. Said she was drawn to me for some reason. Apparently she’s been having dreams ever since the accident.”

“About?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Me. She told me since she’s been back in Texas, she’s been having memories of us. She remembered me asking her to marry me.”

He pushed his hand through his hair. “Holy fuck, dude.”

“Yeah. I’m so damn twisted up inside. I told her about the plane accident.”

“And Amanda?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Tried to, but she told me to stop. She didn’t want me to tell her anything else.”

Jack took a few steps back and leaned against the wall and let out a long breath. “Damn.”

“Yeah, damn is right. I thought for sure when I told her about the accident it would trigger the memory, especially since she seems to be having memories of us.”

He nodded. “Maybe her mind has it so far buried, she’s never going to remember. But, Nolan, you can’t keep this to yourself. Dude, I’ve seen what it’s done to you the last eight years. Now she’s back in your life, and I know you, you won’t be able to keep it from her.”

I swallowed hard. “I want to tell her, and at the same time, I don’t. She told me she loves me, Jack. She said she can’t remember how we met, but she knows what her heart feels. She told me she’s been waiting for me.”

His eyes widened. “Damn. That’s some serious fucking love you two share. Did you tell her you’ve been celibate this whole time?”

I nodded.

“And she came back with you?”

“She said she just found me again and wasn’t ready to let me go. She’s only staying a couple of weeks, I think. She wants to get settled in and get a house in Texas.”

He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Why doesn’t she move back into the ranch house?”

I looked out the window and then back at him. “I thought about telling her she lived there.”

A pained expression crossed over his face. “Amanda’s room?”

I shook my head. “I had everything removed and the room painted when I went back for Truitt’s wedding. I broke down the last time I went home and went in there.”

He nodded. “Is that when you went skydiving in Mexico?”

I just gave him a single nod.

“What are you going to do, Nolan?”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “I need to tell her. I will tell her. I’m just scared as fuck to do it.”

“It was an accident, Nolan. She won’t blame you.”

My gaze met his. “I don’t know that for sure, Jack. I got her back. I made love to her again, and I feel like a greedy son of a bitch because I don’t want to let her go.”

“I get that, dude, but you’ve got to ask yourself one question. Can you live with yourself for not being the one to tell her that you both had a daughter?”

My entire body sagged. “No. I can’t.”

He pushed away from the wall, put his hand on my arm, and gave it a squeeze. “Then you know you’ve got to tell her. Better it come from you than her getting curious and finding out more about the accident on her own.”

I nodded. “I know you’re right.”

He went to open the door and laughed. “I’m always right.”

With a roll of my eyes, I walked past him. “Come on, let’s go fly some planes.”

 

 

Those three magical words came through, and I hit the throttle.

Clear for takeoff.

I was up to ten-thousand feet in five seconds. Life was fucking beautiful when I was flying. I loved my job, but something had felt slightly off the last year or so. It wasn’t like I was growing tired of it. I loved it. Still loved the thrill of it. Something was just…missing. And that empty feeling was suddenly stronger than ever.

I got the go ahead to do the test spin, so I purposely put the plane in an inverted spin.

“Jesus,” I said as I fought to get it back under control and wait for the new program to take action. When it finally did and the plane leveled out, I let out a breath.

“Damn, Bang,” Jack’s voice said. “I thought you were a goner for a minute.”

“Ha. I think I did too.”

Command told me to do a few more maneuvers before Jack was called up.

“Looking good there, Maddog,” I said as he flew up next to me. “I thought they told you only the best were allowed up here today, though.”

“Fuck you,” Jack said.

I laughed and made a hard right as Jack followed. The next hour we flew the hell out of our F-22s, pushing them to the limits and having a bit of fun in the process.

“Let’s have some more fun,” I said as I requested permission to change the flight pattern.

“You’ve got the lead, Bang.”

I made a pass over the house like I had promised Linnzi I would. The smile on my face as I did was a reminder of how happy I felt not only being back up in the air, but knowing Linnzi was waiting at my house for me.

Twenty minutes later, we got the call to return to base. Playtime was over.

“You think she noticed your flyby?” Jack asked after we landed and walked back in.

I laughed. “Sure as hell hope so.”

After getting out of our gear, I made my way to my commander’s office. Lieutenant Colonel Williams was one man I had great admiration for. He had been more than just a CO. He had been a friend of my father’s, although he rarely spoke of him. I drew in a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Enter.”

I stepped inside.

“Sit, Byers.”

Doing as he asked, I watched him finish what he was doing before he leaned back in his chair.

For at least a full minute, he didn’t move. As he studied me, I noted his graying hair cut short into a military buzz cut and the muscles under his uniform. I’d seen him out running plenty of times and knew the man kept in shape. He would often tell us he needed to be able to go up against any of the younger pilots should the need arise. He also cared about the men he led, and it showed in more ways than one.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “I know I never talk about this with you, but I flew with your father, Nolan. He was a damn good man, and he would be proud of the pilot you’ve become, the man you’ve become.”

I swallowed hard and adjusted in my seat. “Thank you, sir.”

“When he first introduced me to your mother, I could see why he was willing to walk away from his career in the Air Force.”

With a smile, I said, “She was an amazing woman.”

He nodded. “That she was. Let me ask you something, Byers. What made you become a test pilot?”

I stared at him. “I’m sure you read my psych evals, sir. If anyone can guess as to why, you’d be the person.”

Another nod. “I did. And I’ve never said it because you’ve never brought it up, but I am sorry for your loss, Nolan.”

I swallowed hard. “Thank you, sir.”

He lifted a brow, and the corners of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Same girl?”

I closed my eyes and inwardly cursed. Fucking Jack. I looked back at him and gave one nod. “Yes, sir.”

“Is your head clear, son?”

“Yes, sir.”

He cleared his throat. “You have leave, you know. You can put in for it. Spend some time with her.”

“I was going to put in for leave, sir.”

“Good, do it and take some damn time off.”

I laughed. “I do take time off, sir. I just came back from leave.”

His looked up and our eyes met. “I was thinking something that didn’t involve jumping out of something or climbing up the sides of mountains. Or rolling down a hill like a fucking gerbil.”

I fought to hold back my smile. Clearly he had spoken to Pete.

“Yes, I heard about it,” he said.

“I’ll most likely head back home to Texas, sir.”

He nodded. “Good. Go be a goddamn cowboy for a couple of weeks and learn to relax, Byers.”

“Yes, sir. I will.”

“Get the hell out of here and go enjoy your evening.”

I stood. “Thank you, sir. May I ask, was it Jack who told you about Linnzi?”

He simply nodded. “He’s worse than a woman with the way he likes to talk.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Yes, sir, he certainly is.”