part0014

“When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve.”

—Napoleon Hill

W ater heated to 211 degrees Fahrenheit is hot. It might even bubble a little. But when you add just one degree, it boils. That’s what vehemence is—that extra degree that will take you from 211 to 212 degrees. That extra degree creates the heat you need to get out of the gate. Just like one of those old steam engines, you are not going to sustain the steam you need to fulfill your vision without heat. Vehemence is the boiling point.

What you do in the first hour of your day sets the tone for the other twenty-three. These activities vary widely, but many successful people launch their day with a ritual.

Some take a brisk walk with an inspiring podcast, some meditate, some pray. Whatever your method, morning rituals set your course early. They keep you from being derailed by moods, busywork, naysayers, and other distractions. A morning ritual will set your feet on a well-worn path that will keep you heading in the direction of your goals.

As professional jocks, game day rituals kept us fired up and focused. We channeled the spirit of ancient Roman gladiators preparing to enter the coliseum and fight to the death. But whether you are slated to perform on a field, on stage, or in the office, rituals prime you for action. This is what we did before Eagles games, rain or shine:

First light, we’re awake. No need for an alarm. We envision clearly what we want to accomplish and we are primed to make it happen. Breakfast at 9 a.m.; kickoff at 1 p.m. sharp.

We race to the stadium wearing our lucky baseball hats. We walk the empty field and imagine the stands filled with cheering fans. We can feel the ball being snapped and carried. When the whistle blows, the ball is kicked and play begins like lighting a stick of dynamite. The length of time it takes to run down the field is how long the wick burns. Bodies collide in a huge explosion. The fans hold their breath or groan or cheer depending on the outcome. We envision it all. We’re jazzed and ready for action.

Then, in the locker room, the trainers tape our wrists and ankles. The taping ritual fuels our confidence. The tightness of the tape makes us feel superhuman and ready to make contact with the opposition.

We stretch. We put on our equipment in a certain order, individual to each player. We wear the right t-shirt, the right socks. We adjust the snugness of our shoulder pads and perfectly position our leg pads and rib protectors. We are fearless.

We’re not smokers, but we take a buzzworthy drag on a cigarette before every game to get that nicotine edge. Then we sit staring at each other in full uniform, our legs bouncing up and down like a room full of kids who have to pee.

We no longer play ball, but we still have “game day” rituals. The stage is now our field. The impact we make is on minds, not bodies. We take that shower, we slap on that aftershave, and put on our uniforms—business casual or custom-fitted suits and Italian leather. Whatever the occasion demands.

Visualization is an important part of the game day ritual. We envision ourselves entering the stage and connecting with the audience. We mentally rehearse our presentation from kickoff to conclusion.

Dennis launches his presentation with a high-energy entrance to chest-pounding techno music. That ritual stokes him and it stokes the audience.

I knew after the movie and first book came out that I would be a public speaker. I saw it clearly: myself as a public speaker, and a damn good one. An effective public speaker can’t fumble. Every time you’re on stage, it’s the Super Bowl. Coach Vermeil used to drive home the importance of setting the tempo of the game. Before every speaking engagement, I go to a quiet spot. I close my eyes and imagine the first three minutes of my presentation and how I am going to set the tempo.

The trend these days is to post selfies on social media to show people when you’re at your best. (Hey, maybe even to create a little envy!) That’s all in good fun, but sometimes the camera should be pointed away from us and focused on others who are bravely enduring challenges we can only imagine.

During our Eagles years, before we hit the bar to watch Monday Night Football, we would visit patients at a burn center near Veterans Stadium. Then we would sneak into the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia to cheer up the kids suffering from leukemia. No TV cameras in our faces, the press wasn’t there to report on how great we were, we were just there for the kids.

We received far more than we gave from these evenings with those kids. Talk about a lesson in valor! We were inspired by the courage of the burn patients and the kids battling leukemia. Based on the statistics of the time, 80% of leukemia sufferers—80% of the kids we met—would not survive.

It sure put things in perspective. What we had to endure to reach our goals was insignificant compared to their heroism and bravery. Those visits grounded us and cultivated gratitude for our lives. It made our personal pain no big deal.

One day, cancer came knocking on our door. Both of us lost parents to cancer. Vince had his own battle. He got that call from a doc that nobody wants: “Vince, are you sitting down? I’ve got some bad news for you. You’ve got cancer.” Our ability to walk through that shadowy valley with perspective is because of the lessons those kids imparted to us.

Establish some soul-feeding rituals in your life. Give some time, money, or encouragement to others in need. Pay it forward. What goes around comes around.

Read and revisit your vision daily. If you don’t have one, go back and read “Vision” again—it will take you through the process of creating one. This will spark energy inside of you. It will make you a magnet. You’ll attract the resources you need to achieve each goal.

Words are not just a tool of communication, they’re a tool of creation. They create an attitude of mind. They affect the emotions of the people around you. They’re potent. Affirmations are the pep talk you have with yourself before the big game. Here are some of our favorites:

Speak your affirmations, but speak them like you mean them. Something will change inside of you if you make this a daily habit.

“I can! I will! I must!” This is an affirmation I taught to my children and their friends. When my children have a challenging task to accomplish, I tell them to speak that affirmation and to make their hands into fists and punch the air and scream, loud, “I can! I will! I must!” That creates energy and determination.

How am I going to make a powerful difference in my life and the life of other people TODAY?

Answer these questions. Then suit up and tackle your daily action plan. Creating intention and taking action will silence the voices in your head that cast self-doubt and distract you from your goals.

Listen to what you’re silently speaking to yourself. Most of us say things to ourselves that we would never consider saying to a friend or even out loud to ourselves. Nothing will throw water on your passion like those silent accusations. It stokes negative internal energy that will show up like a neon sign in your body language.

When a negative thought springs up, nuke it. Reverse negative thoughts with a positive. Reframe them. “I am dreading this project,” becomes, “I’m fired up to get this done and move on to the next thing.”

Those voices of the past are not our voice. They are the voices of parents, teachers, peers. They can be like rude guests that come to dinner. They don’t say please or thank you. They interrupt you. They complain about the meal you made. They tell you what a horrible host you are. If they were guests, you would kick them out. Too often we let these guests take up residence in our heads.

If those negative forces—demons, if you will—start taking control of you, there is no shame in seeking help. Invest in the therapy you need to reframe your thoughts and slay those demons.

You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Who are the top five people in your friend group? You’ll become like the people you hang out with. They are your future. Choose your friends wisely. Find friends who keep you stoked.

If you spend time with passionate, determined, successful people, you’re more likely to be passionate, determined, and successful. It’s the mirror neuron thing, that part of our brains that stimulates us to emulate those around us (for good or evil). Make new friends who are accomplishing what you want to accomplish.

Many successful people freely share their success secrets. Seek out someone you want to emulate—a role model. You might not be able to meet them at the local hangout for a beer, but there are other ways to connect. Read their books, listen to their speeches, and attend their seminars.

Seminars are a great way to meet like-minded individuals. Even in a crowded room, it’s likely that that audience is on a similar wave-length. Attend a seminar and make it your goal to cultivate a relationship with someone you meet.

Sometimes the most unlikely people can stoke your vehemence. Rosie was a waitress at a food truck that parked near Veterans Stadium. We would stop there early in the morning for a breakfast sandwich (usually fried bologna, egg, and cheese) and coffee.

Rosie would be there to greet us—hair teased and sprayed into a beehive, not a strand out of place. Her lips were ruby red; eyeliner, black and thick; eyeshadow, midnight blue. She looked ready for a night on the town—at the crack of dawn.

Rosie started our day with a jolt of confidence. She was a diehard Eagles fan and looked at us like we were her breakfast sandwiches. She treated us like heroes and made us feel like a million bucks. She was one of those fire-stoking people. Thank you, Rosie.

Have you heard of Parkinson’s law? Economist Cyril Parkinson coined it back in the 50s: Work expands to fill the time available for completion. 3 In other words, if you give yourself two years to prepare for a marathon or write a book, you’ll take two years to do it.

If you want to turn up the heat on your productivity, cut the deadline in half. One of our mentors, JR Ridinger, put it this way: “Go Berserk for 90 days” and get it done. Kick into super human mode. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of. Don’t worry about making a mess. You can clean it up later.

Put your family and associates on notice that you are putting the pedal to the metal for the next few weeks. Eliminate distractions. Dive in and make it happen.

Do what you can to raise your temperature that one degree Fahrenheit. It will raise your achievement from average to exceptional. It will be impossible to accept failure when you are vehemently set on accomplishing your vision.

Here is one caveat: don’t overheat. When you overheat, you can do some real damage. Dennis shares a time when his vehemence got the best of him. We were in the locker room, getting ready for the game. The team put Dennis on a mission: take out Washington Redskins running back Benny Malone.

I was vehement. I was jacked up and mentally focused. Guess what? I took him out, alright. I knocked him out cold. Instead of feeling bad, I was stoked. I was high fiving and celebrating. Well, that little celebration cost me 10% of my salary. I was charged with promoting violence on the field.

Don’t confuse being vehement with being an idiot. Know where the on-off switch is. When you see that you’re losing people because you’re overzealous, it might be time to flip the switch.