Clutching the rosary Father Montgomery had given her, Cyn chain smoked Lenny’s pack of cigarettes the entire way back to her apartment. Exhaustion was setting in, and she couldn’t stop thinking about that baby deer.
Stumbling on the front step, she felt dizzy again and knew she needed to eat something. So she chased a couple of saltines with some flat ginger ale, then curled up in her sleeping bag. Sleep would make everything better. As long as she didn’t dream she would wake up with a clear head, and then she could figure out what to do.
But sleep didn’t make everything better, and when Cyn woke again her head was pounding. The room went black, and she had to count to ten before her vision cleared. Mental note: You need to eat more than just crackers.
She looked at the clock to try and calculate how long it had been since she’d last had a solid meal and saw it was two o’clock in the morning. Her shift was supposed to start four hours ago. Marv probably thought she was a no-show.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Cyn scrambled out of bed, and something clattered to the floor. She must have fallen asleep with the rosary Father Montgomery had given her.
But when Cyn looked down, she saw that it wasn’t a holy relic lying on the floor.
It was a knife.
The room started to tilt again, and Cyn bent over and put her head between her knees. Where did that come from? “I must have picked it up from the diner,” she said out loud. Willing her words to become true.
But there was no way it was from the diner. The knife had an elaborately decorated handle and a wide, flat blade. It looked like a ceremonial dagger.
Visions of realtors suddenly deciding to stop by the building and stumbling upon the knife filled her mind. That’s the last thing I need. So she picked up the knife and carried it into the bathroom. Then she lifted the lid on the back of the toilet tank and dropped it into the water. It was the only place she could think of to stash it.
Hurrying over to her suitcase, Cyn pulled out a black bobbed wig and then put on her diner uniform. The cuts on her arms were still clearly visible. A long-sleeved T-shirt layered beneath the uniform wasn’t her greatest look, but it covered everything up so she wouldn’t have to explain why her arms looked the way they did.
Cyn walked as fast as she could to the diner, but Marv blew a gasket when she got there. “Finally decided to join us, huh?” His apron was messier than usual, and he was juggling plates. “I don’t know why you even bothered to show up after pulling this shit.”
“I’m sorry, Marv. I got sick.” She didn’t beat around the bush or give him a smart-ass answer.
“Yeah, well, don’t be getting any of my customers sick. That’s the last thing I need. Now go get your apron on and get out to table seven.”
Cyn followed his direction and moved to take care of the table. But her reaction time was off, and she kept messing up. More than one irritated customer had their burger cooked wrong, or a drink not filled fast enough.
“You really are dragging ass tonight,” Marv said when things finally slowed down. “You’re not gonna keel over on me, are you? Makes for bad publicity.”
Cyn pulled two empty chairs over to the counter and put her feet up. Let him say something about me sitting down on the job now. I’ll tell him where he can stick it.
“Must be a flu thing going around. I’ll be okay.”
Marv shook his head, but a worried look crept across his face. He was just about to say something else when the bell above the door chimed. He glanced over. “It’s that cop again. He’s been looking for you. Think you can handle one more customer?”
Cyn got to her feet. “Sure.” She knew she should be worried: The last time he was in here, she bailed on him. But she didn’t feel anything.
Maybe this was acceptance. Maybe she was finally coming to terms with what she did.
“Black hair really doesn’t suit you,” Declan said with a self-assured smile when she stopped at his table. “I preferred the brown.”
“Do you know what you’d like to order?” she replied in a monotone.
“Why do you change your hair color so often? You’re not trying to hide something, are you?”
“What about something to drink?” Cyn suggested. “Coffee? Tea? Soda . . . ?”
“That all depends on what I’m going to eat. Dessert requires coffee, but something warm, like a bowl of clam chowder, means I’ll want something cold to wash it down with.”
He grinned at her, but she wasn’t in the mood to play games. “I’ll just give you another minute then.” She turned to walk away.
“I have your coat,” he called, and she stopped. “If your name is Cyn Hargrave. That’s the name on the paycheck stub I found in the pocket.”
Cyn briefly contemplated telling him to just keep it, but it was the only coat she had, and buying another one, even at thrift-store prices, would put a serious dent in her meager savings. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“You left it here the other night. I saw it and didn’t want anyone else to take it.”
“Thanks.” She managed a tight smile.
He glanced down at the menu and then held it out to her. “I think I’ll have a Reuben. With a Coke.”
She wrote down his order and reached for the menu. His fingers brushed hers, and she tried to pull back, but he saw her gold ring. “That’s pretty. Reminds me of a ring I helped my brother pick out for a girl he was crazy about. His name was Hunter Vasquez.”
As soon as the cop said Hunter’s name, Cyn dropped the menu and flat-out ran to the kitchen. Hunter’s brother. He’s Hunter’s brother, and this is why you’ve been so freaked out that he’s here. It’s only a matter of time until he arrests you.
Hunter had mentioned an older brother once, but she’d never met him and hadn’t given him any thought beyond that.
Lenny was hosing down the sink when she burst through the door, and he barely stopped her from running into him. “Everything okay? Marv said you weren’t feeling good.”
Cyn seized on the excuse. “Yeah. That’s right. I thought I was going to barf on my customer out there.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I need a big favor, Lenny. He’s got my jacket. Do you think you could go get it for me?”
Lenny’s face grew angry. “Creeper took your coat? That’s messed up. Want me to take care of him?”
“No, no. That’s okay,” Cyn said hastily. “He’s a cop.”
Lenny nodded and went out to the floor. While she was waiting, Marv came back to the kitchen. “You okay, Cynsation?”
Cyn gave him a weak thumbs-up, but she must have looked pretty bad, because he brought her a bowl of clam chowder and insisted she eat it. She told him what was going on, and he glanced out the window, giving her a play by play.
“Lenny’s talking to him now. Looks like the cop is getting up. Bastard better not be skipping out on the check.” He shook his fist at the wall.
Cyn’s spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl, and she glanced down, surprised that she’d managed to eat it all.
Marv returned to hover over her shoulder. “You want more?” he asked.
“I’m good. Thanks, Marv.”
His ears turned red, and he busied himself with something at the sink. “Don’t mention it.”
The door swung open behind them, and then Lenny came through, holding Cyn’s coat triumphantly.
If Cyn was the hugging type, she would have given him one right then. Instead, she gave him a two-finger salute. “I owe you another pack of cigarettes, Lenny.”
“No prob— Wait, what do you mean, another pack?”
Cyn pulled on her jacket, but she didn’t answer him. She had to think. Had to figure out what she was going to do now. “I’m going to cut out early,” she said to Marv. “I think I need some more sleep.”
He didn’t look happy about it, but he agreed. “I expect you on time tomorrow night.”
Cyn made a noncommittal noise as she headed for the door. She didn’t know if she would be back tomorrow night; it was only a matter of time until the cop arrested her.
“I’m not gonna forget about that ‘another pack’ comment,” Lenny yelled behind her. He pointed to his head. “It’s a steel trap up here.”
Cyn found herself smiling as she stepped out into the cool morning air. I might actually miss those guys.
“Steel trap!” she could still hear him saying. “A goddamn steel trap!”
It wasn’t until she was three blocks from her place that she saw the glow of a cigarette in the darkness behind her and realized she was being followed.