Ronks, Pennsylvania
Mammi, my schuck came untied again.”
“Can’t I have a moment’s peace?” Ruby Weaver spoke through her teeth with forced restraint. She was tired of someone always needing her for something. After the many times she’d shown her five-year-old daughter, Sharon, how to tie her shoes, she should have gotten it by now.
“Mammi, did you hear what I said?” Sharon looked up at Ruby with wide eyes.
“Jah, I heard. If you’ll take a seat on the folding stool, I’ll be right with you.” Ruby lifted her hands from the soapy dishwater, and by the time her daughter was seated on the stool, Ruby had dried her hands.
“Pay close attention, Sharon. I’m going to show you once more how to tie your shoe.”
Ruby stood next to the stool and leaned over. Grasping the laces on Sharon’s sneaker, she said, “Now watch and listen carefully, Daughter.” Ruby went through the process of making the ties look like bunny ears and showed Sharon how to form them so they made an X.
“That part’s easy, Mama.” Sharon frowned. “I can’t remember what to do next.”
“Watch closely.” Ruby looped one bunny ear over and through the top of the other bunny ear. “Then we pull the bunny ears out to the side away from the shoe. This will make a knot that won’t come undone easily.” Ruby pointed to Sharon’s other shoe. “Now put your other foot on the top step of the stool and make your bunny ears the way I did.”
With forehead wrinkled and the tip of her tongue sticking out of her mouth, Sharon fumbled with her shoelaces. It took several tries, but she finally got it.
Ruby was tempted to untie the first shoe and have Sharon try to tie it, but she had dishes to finish and baking to do, so she let it go.
“Why don’t you go get Stephen and find something to play with?” Ruby suggested. “And be careful not to wake your baby sister. Marian was fussy last night, and neither of us got much sleep.”
“Okay, Mama.” Sharon hopped down and scampered out of the kitchen.
Ruby turned back to the sink. As much as she loved her three little ones, she’d be glad when they could attend school with their four older siblings. Maybe once they were all in school, she’d finally have some time to herself.
By noon, Ruby was so tired all she wanted to do was lie down and take a nap. The chaise lounge on the back porch looked so inviting, but there was no time for that now.
Ruby opened the refrigerator and took out a package of lunch meat along with mayonnaise and pickles. She wished Sharon and Stephen were old enough to fix their own lunches, but if she turned them loose in the kitchen, there was no telling what would happen.
Ruby remembered the last time she’d given Sharon a jar of peanut butter and a piece of bread when she’d asked if she could make herself and her brother a sandwich. The end result was two children with more peanut butter on their faces and hands than on the bread—not to mention what had been smeared all over the kitchen table. So until Sharon and Stephen were old enough to fend for themselves without making a mess, Ruby would continue to fix all of their meals. She had enough work to do without cleaning up the youngsters’ messes.
Ruby took out a loaf of bread and placed it on the table. She’d taken out four slices and put them on paper plates when she heard baby Marian howling. No doubt her precious one-year-old would cry until she’d been fed, so Ruby hurried from the room to tend to the baby’s needs.
Once Marian was diapered and fed, Ruby headed back to the kitchen to finish making lunch. When she entered the room, the sight before Ruby caused her to holler, “Was is letz do?”
“Nothin’s going on here, Mammi. Stephen and me are just makin’ our sandwiches,” Sharon responded.
Ruby rubbed her forehead as she stared at the mess on the table. In addition to bread crumbs everywhere, including the floor, the jar of mayonnaise lay on its side, with the contents smeared all over the place. As if that wasn’t enough, her three-year-old son had taken a bite out of each piece of lunchmeat, which lay on the table in a heap. Ruby knew he had done it, because a hunk of meat hung out of his mouth. The worst part, though, was the pickle juice from the jar that had also been tipped over, running off the table and onto the floor.
Ruby spent the next fifteen minutes cleaning up after the children and putting everything away as Sharon and Stephen ate their soggy-looking sandwiches.
When they finished eating, the children went to their rooms to play. Ruby, with her nerves on edge, went straight to her room and shut the door. Taking a seat on the bed, she took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. Dear Lord, please help me. I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams, and if something doesn’t happen to change things soon, I may cave in.
Ruby’s prayer came to an end when the baby started crying again. She wished she could ignore the sound and lie down for a nap. But like a dutiful mother, she got up, dried her eyes, and went out of the room.
“How was your day?” Ruby’s husband, Elam, asked when he came home from work that afternoon.
She grimaced. “It was busy and hectic. How was yours?”
“Things went well at the cabinet shop. I had several new customers today.”
“That’s good.” Ruby gestured to the stack of mail on the roll-top desk in the kitchen. “There’s the mail. I haven’t had time to go through it.”
“Okay, I’ll take a look.” He picked up the letters and took a seat at the table.
While Elam went through the mail, Ruby began peeling potatoes. “There’s chicken baking in the oven, and I’ll make mashed potatoes just the way you like them.”
“Sounds good, Ruby.” Elam smacked his lips. “Oh, there’s a letter here from your friend Esta. Should I slice the envelope open so you can read it now?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll read it later. I need to get supper going so we can eat.”
“Okay, I’ll put her letter back on the desk and you can read it when you have some free time.”
Free time? Ruby’s fingers tightened around the potato peeler. When will I ever have any free time?
When supper was over and the dishes were done, Elam suggested Ruby join him on the porch to enjoy the setting sun.
“That sounds nice, but I have to bathe the baby, and then there’s some mending to do, and after that …”
“Can’t it wait?” Elam’s shoulders drooped. “Seems like all you ever do is work, work, work.”
“That’s because there’s so much that needs to be done.” Holding her hands behind her back, Ruby gripped her wrists. “The work of a mudder with seven kinner is never done, and this house is never quiet and peaceful.”
Elam’s forehead wrinkled. “Do you resent our children?”
“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head vigorously. “I just never get any time to myself, except when I’m sleeping, and even then the boppli often wakes me.” Ruby tipped her head and pointed to the door leading to their living room. “Hear that? Our baby daughter is at it again.”
Ruby hurried out of the kitchen. Elam didn’t understand. The only way she could keep up with all her chores and meet everyone’s expectations was to work hard and keep moving. Maybe someday when the children were grown, she’d have a minute to herself and things would be peaceful.
The following morning, Ruby hurried to gather up all the things she would need to take to the quilting party that would take place at Hannah Yoder’s house. The quilt the ladies were working on was for the Haiti benefit auction next month. Since Ruby’s older children were in school, Ruby figured she could manage the three younger ones. Sharon and Stephen would probably play with Hannah’s two small children, and little Marian would hopefully take a nap while Ruby worked on the quilt with the other women. She had promised to go and didn’t want to be late. She’d also gotten up early this morning and made two dozen chocolate cupcakes, which she’d put in a plastic container and left sitting on the table.
“Stephen! Sharon! I’m ready to go,” Ruby called as she carried her basket of sewing supplies down the hall.
When Ruby stepped into the kitchen, she halted and her mouth dropped open. The lid was off the plastic container, and both children stood there looking at her with chocolate all over their faces. The evidence of what they had done lay on the floor—crumbs and torn cupcake papers. To worsen the situation, an empty bottle of milk sat on the table. From the appearance of the floor, it looked like a good deal of the milk had been spilled.
Blowing out a breath that rattled her lips, Ruby shook her finger at the children. “Did either of you ask if you could have one of those bissel kuche or millich?”
“No, Mammi.” Sharon’s chin trembled, and Stephen’s eyes filled with tears.
“The little cakes were to take to the quilting party, and the milk you drank was the last bottle. Now I’ll have to stop at the store on the way home today and get more.”
“S–sorry, Mama. I thought the little cakes were for us to eat.” Sharon’s tone sounded sincere.
Ruby pointed a finger. “You must always ask first, understand?”
“Jah.” Sharon bobbed her head. Stephen did the same.
Ruby handed each of the children a sponge. “Now, clean up the milk while I sweep the crumbs and papers off the floor.”
Stephen and Sharon got down on their knees to sponge up the milk, and Ruby went to the utility room to get the broom and dustpan. They’d be late for sure now, but there was nothing she could do about it.
“Another day with no peace or tranquility,” she muttered.
“Mammi, how come you’re makin’ the horse go so fast?” Sharon asked from the back seat of Ruby’s buggy.
“Because we’re running late, thanks to you two making a mess in the kitchen this morning.”
“S–sorry, Mammi,” Stephen said with a whimper.
“Well, what’s done is done.” Ruby eased up on the reins a bit. There was no point in making her horse pay for their tardiness. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too late to the quilting party.
When they entered the yard where the event was taking place, Ruby guided her horse to the hitching rail. She was about to get out when Stephen began hiccupping.
“Hic … hic … Mammi, it won’t … hic … stop.”
“Should I kitzle him or schmatz him on the back?” Sharon asked.
“No tickling or smacking on the back.” Ruby looked over her shoulder. “Stephen, keep breathing while you cup your hands over your nose and mouth.”
He did as she asked, but the hiccups continued.
“Here, try this.” She handed him a bottle of water. “I’m going to count to ten, and each time I say a number, you need to take a sip of water.”
Stephen held the bottle up to his lips and drank as Ruby counted. “One … two … three … four …” By the time she reached five, his hiccups had subsided.
“Whew, that’s a relief. Now, you two stay in the buggy until I get the horse secured at the rail.” Ruby opened her side door, stepped down, and glanced up at the house. I bet everyone thinks I’m not coming.
As Ruby sat with the other women who had come to work on the quilt, she had trouble keeping her mind on this special project they’d taken on. There were so many things she needed to do at home, but she’d promised to help with the quilt, and she wouldn’t back out. When Ruby agreed to do something, she followed through unless she had an emergency.
“Your little one is sure growing,” Karen Stoltzfus commented, looking at Marian happily playing across the room with her siblings and two other young children.
“Jah, she’s outgrowing many of her clothes, and now that Marian has started walking, she’s become a handful.”
Doreen, one of the older women present, clicked her tongue. “My kinner are grown and married, but now I have grandchildren to enjoy and watch grow.”
Someone mentioned the weather and how quickly the lawns and gardens were growing. This discussion caused Ruby to think about all the yard work at home that needed to be done. One more reason she should have stayed home today.
“Mamm, how come you’ve been so grouchy lately?” eleven-year-old Arianna asked when she came into the utility room where Ruby was washing clothes Saturday morning.
Wiping a hand across her damp forehead, Ruby sighed. “I’m just tired is all. Seems like I never have any time to myself.” She wasn’t about to admit to her daughter that her nerves were on edge, and even the baby’s crying made her muscles twitch. It wouldn’t be right to burden her daughter with that information or tell Arianna that all she wanted was a little peace and quiet. She might think Ruby resented her children.
“I’m sorry you don’t get much time to yourself.” Arianna stroked Ruby’s arm. “Want me to finish the laundry so you can go rest?”
Ruby shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’ll have it done soon, and then it’ll be time to start lunch. Just keep an eye on your baby sister for now. And don’t take Marian out of the playpen unless you plan to be with her every second. Now that’s she’s walking, she gets into everything if left unattended.”
“No problem, Mamm. I won’t let the boppli out of my sight.” Arianna gave Ruby a hug before leaving the room.
She’s such a helpful child, Ruby told herself. I should be more appreciative. I don’t really have time, but I think I’ll make her favorite dessert tonight.
“I keep forgetting to ask—what did your friend Esta have to say in the letter she wrote you a week ago?” Elam asked as he helped Ruby feed the chickens Saturday morning.
She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, that’s right. You did mention there was a letter that had come from her. I’ve been so busy I forgot all about it.” Ruby threw more feed out to the squawking chickens. “Where did you put the letter, Elam?”
“Left it on the desk, along with the rest of the mail. Surely you must have seen it when you went through the other mail that day.” He reached down and stroked a rooster’s head. It was one he called Mighty Mike, and the silly chicken often followed Elam around like it was his pet.
“Think I’ll go inside and look for that letter.”
“Good idea. Let me know if you need help looking for it.”
“I will. Thanks.” Ruby tossed the remainder of the food on the ground and headed for the house.
As soon as Ruby entered the kitchen, she went straight to the roll-top desk. Yesterday’s mail was still there, but nothing older than that.
Ruby’s brows pulled in as she tapped her finger against her chin. I wonder where Esta’s letter could be. I hope it didn’t get thrown out. She’s probably waiting for a reply from me, but since I haven’t read her letter, I have no idea how to respond.
Ruby went to the living room where Arianna sat holding her baby sister. “Have you seen a letter from my friend Esta anywhere here in the house?”
Arianna shook her head. “When did she send it?”
“I don’t know when Esta mailed the letter, but it arrived here a little over a week ago.” Ruby sighed. “It was on the desk in the kitchen, but it’s not there now, and I have no idea where to look.” Just add that to my list of things to do.
Arianna looked down at the baby. “Well, Marian sure couldn’t have taken it, but maybe Stephen, Sharon, Jay, or Noah knows where it is. Want me to go around and ask them?”
“Jah, I’d appreciate that.” Ruby leaned down and scooped Marian into her arms. “I’ll put her in the playpen while I do some more searching.”
For the next hour Ruby looked around the house for her friend’s letter. Elam and the older children searched too. The longer Ruby looked, the more frustrated she became. She was about to give up, thinking the letter must have gotten thrown out with the trash, when Elam walked into the living room, where Ruby stood with her arms folded.
“I found what you’ve been looking for.” He handed her the envelope.
“Where did you find it?” she asked.
“In your sewing room. A corner of it was sticking out from under a bolt of material.”
Ruby rubbed her chin. “I wonder how it got there.”
Elam shrugged. “I’m guessing you may have put it there. I don’t believe it was any of the kinner, since they don’t usually go into your sewing room unless you’re fitting them for new clothes.”
Holding the letter in her hand, Ruby lowered herself to the couch. She sat a few seconds with her eyes closed, then opened them and blinked. “Now that I think about it, I do vaguely remember picking up Esta’s letter the day you brought it into the house. So I must have taken it into my sewing room and set it down when I went to get something.” Her gaze flicked upward. “Oh Elam, I’m only thirty-five and getting so forgetful.”
He took a seat beside her and clasped her free hand. “You’re just preoccupied because you are working so hard all the time.”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “I hope that’s all it is.”
“I’ve told you before—you need to relax more and take some time out for yourself. And you can do that right now by taking the time to read your friend’s letter.” Elam rose from his chair. “I’ll leave you alone so you can read in peace.” He left the room before Ruby could protest. She really didn’t have time to read the letter right now, but if she set it aside she might never get around to reading it.
Ruby opened the envelope and pulled out the pretty stationery with a bluebird in one corner and a red rose in the other. What really caught Ruby’s eye, though, were the bold letters at the top of the page: If your day is hemmed with prayer, it’s less likely to unravel.
She contemplated those words. How much time do I spend in prayer? Seems like I’m always too busy to read my Bible and pray. I wonder what else my friend has to say.
Ruby silently read Esta’s letter.
Dear Ruby,
I hope this finds you and your family well. You’ve been on my mind lately, and I wanted you to know that I’ve been praying for you.
I found this stationery when I was out shopping the other day, and the words written across the top spoke to me. I thought maybe you would appreciate them too.
So often I get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to take time out to relax, do some things just for fun, and most of all spend time in God’s presence, for that is where we truly find a sense of peace and tranquility.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. I’m eager to know how you’re doing.
Love and blessings,
Your friend Esta
Ruby placed the letter in her lap and closed her eyes. Lord, forgive me for not taking time out to spend with You. Help me to remember to slow down and spend more time enjoying my husband and children. Please fill my soul with a sense of peace. Amen.
Resolved to set her chores aside for the next half hour or so, Ruby asked Arianna to keep an eye on the younger children. Then she picked up her Bible and went out to the back porch.
Taking a seat in a wicker chair, Ruby opened her Bible and read a passage of scripture from Isaiah. It was just the reminder she needed in order to experience perfect peace. All she had to do when things became hectic was keep her thoughts on God.
Ruby bowed her head once again. Heavenly Father, thank You for all Your many blessings. Please fill my heart with peace, and help me remember to keep my thoughts on You, even during the most stressful, hectic days.
When Ruby’s prayer ended, she heard a buzzing sound and looked up. Five hummingbirds, flitting back and forth, were busy at the feeder hanging on a shepherd’s hook near the porch. She sat for several minutes, watching and enjoying the scene. For the first time in many weeks, Ruby felt a sense of peace and tranquility. She determined that whenever possible she would do her devotions outside, or at least near a window, so she could enjoy the beauty of God’s creation.
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
ISAIAH 26:3