When Hazel woke up, she felt different. The comfort of sleep carried over into consciousness. Her pains were eased, her head clear. It was pleasantly cool inside the alcove. High up on the wall was a stained-glass slit window. Coloured shapes hung on the purple curtains, a smudgy back-to-front picture. She tried to remember how she’d got here, but swiftly realized it didn’t matter. Everything before the Agapemone, before the Beloved touch, was a fading dream. She’d been born on the steps of the Manor House. What was important was now.
‘Sister,’ a girl’s voice said. The curtain was drawn aside.
Hazel got up and stepped out of the alcove. They were waiting for her in the chapel. Jenny’s white dress and blonde hair shone in the twilight. Three other women, faces she recognized but couldn’t name, wore different robes, light blue with white edging. Sisters of the Agapemone.
‘Alleiluya,’ they chimed.
Jenny hugged her, holding tight, pressing her soft cheek against Hazel’s face. Hazel felt Love pouring into her.
‘You’re honoured,’ Jenny explained. ‘Beloved has chosen you. Tonight there will be a Great Manifestation.’
‘Alleiluya,’ the women repeated.
‘It’ll be wonderful, I promise. You’ll be a Sister of the Agapemone.’
Hazel nodded, accepting the honour. It was the right, the only thing. For the first time, probably in her life, she knew what she must do, what she wanted to be.
‘Let me introduce everyone,’ Jenny continued. ‘Sister Cindy, Sister Janet, Sister Kate.’
The women smiled when named, and leaned forward to kiss her. Jenny smiled sunnily. She was the perfect angel. Hazel could imagine delicate wings, cornsilk-gold to match her hair, spreading under Jenny’s dress, straining to emerge.
‘Come with us,’ Jenny said. ‘First, you must be anointed.’ The Sisters grouped around her like an honour guard, and she was led beyond the altar into a vestry that looked like a Roman bathhouse, with marble benches, wooden cabinets and empty nooks for classical statues. There was a sunken pool, dry at the moment, four feet deep, with a shaped stone block at the bottom for sitting on. The windowless vestry was lit by fluorescent tubes.
‘Sister Hazel,’ Jenny said, ‘you’ve been baptized, confirmed. That was the first step.’
Hazel remembered Beloved’s touch on her forehead. She wondered if the sign of the cross was still there, glowing like a cattle brand.
‘Simple, wasn’t it?’
Hazel agreed.
‘Outsiders imagine terrible things, but the Agapemone is founded on simplicity.’
Jenny was trying to put Hazel at her ease. Her hair was loose, and she played with it while she talked.
‘The Great Manifestation will be your initiation, not only into the Agapemone, but into its Inner Circle. You’ll be one of Beloved’s Sister-Loves. That’s special. Not everyone gets so far so quickly.’
‘You’ve been bumped up a couple of grades,’ Cindy said. ‘Lucky girl.’
Hazel was just about following this. The procedure didn’t matter, it was the acceptance that was important. Once this ritual brouhaha was concluded, she would at last feel complete.
‘Before the Great Manifestation, you must be cleansed in body and spirit. Don’t worry. It’s symbolic. You don’t get scrubbed with lye or anything. Basically, you take a long bath and meditate, think things out.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Kate, roundly pregnant, said, ‘it’s quite pleasant.’
The women all agreed, nodding and humming.
‘I know it seems like dressing up and playing games, Hazel. Beloved believes in ceremony. Rituals channel natural forces’
Jenny’s voice was soothing, persuasive.
‘Sister Janet, get Sister Hazel a towel, would you.’ The slender blonde girl, tall and angular with a fringe over her eyes, opened a whitewood cabinet and brought out a full-size beach towel.
Jenny tugged Hazel’s T-shirt out of her jeans.
‘It’s all right,’ Hazel said. ‘I can manage.’
She took off her T-shirt and wriggled out of her jeans. Then she sat on one of the benches—sort of enjoying the chilly shock of marble—and pulled off her socks and underwear. Janet draped the towel around her.
Cindy—small, smiling and dark-haired—was turning a wheel set into the wall. Under the floor, something gurgled, and water gushed out of a fish-head tap, splashing the bottom of the pool.
‘It’s luxurious, actually,’ Cindy said. ‘Beloved believes in comforts of the flesh.’
‘Comfort of the flesh frees the spirit,’ said Kate. She scattered what smelled like bath salts into the water, raising a slight froth.
‘It’s natural,’ Jenny said. ‘Herbs from the garden, mostly.’
Janet was folding Hazel’s clothes, stowing them in one of the chests.
‘We’ll get you a proper dress later,’ she said. ‘What are you? Five three? Five four?’
Hazel didn’t know exactly how tall (rather, short) she was, but that sounded about right.
The water rose, giving off a wonderful scent. Cindy stuck her hand in to check the temperature.
‘Fine by me, but you have to sit in it. What do you think?’
The towel wrapped a little awkwardly around her. Hazel bent down and touched her fingers to the water. It was warm, but not hot. She nodded.
‘Okey-dokey,’ Cindy said, ‘that’ll do then. Jan, turn it off, would you, or we’ll have water all over the floor. Again.’
Janet wrestled the wheel back, and the fish dried up.
‘Right,’ said Kate, ‘let’s get you in.’
Janet took her towel. Hazel didn’t mind being naked with these almost strangers, although she was usually self-conscious about her body. The Sisters were family. Cindy and Kate took an arm each and guided her to the bath’s edge.
‘Careful,’ Kate said, ‘it’s deeper than it looks. Step on the seat.’
Hazel dipped her toe, then her foot, then her ankle, into the water. The fine hair on her shin prickled. The Sisters lifted her over the bath and lowered her like an invalid. The water rose, sucking a little, and warmth wrapped around her, lapping up over her body. Her bottom settled on the seat and she leaned back. The shaped stone was surprisingly comfortable. Water came up to her neck and rippled against her chin, the scents of herbs tickling her nostrils. It’d be easy to fall asleep.
‘You’re comely, Sister,’ Jenny said.
‘Yeah, dead comely,’ Cindy agreed.
Her hair was wet now, floating around her, drifting against her cheeks and shoulders. Jenny stroked it out of her eyes and mouth, smoothing it against her head.
‘It’ll come after the evening service,’ Jenny explained. ‘I’m afraid you’ll have to skip dinner. You’re supposed to fast.’
That was all right by Hazel. She’d been meaning to eat less anyway.
‘Beloved will read a short lesson, and you’ll be brought to the altar. Be careful, by the way, the altar is an antique and easily damaged. Sister Kate nearly knocked it over during her initiation into the Inner Circle.’
‘That was hardly my fault, Jenny. The spirit was moving within me.’
The women laughed. ‘Just teasing, Sister,’ Jenny assured.
‘You won’t be familiar with the ritual, but, believe me, your part is easy.’
Hazel was warm all over.
‘You’ll know what to do,’ said Kate, easing her pregnancy with her hands as she knelt by the bath.
Janet had sat down, and was dangling bare feet into the water.
‘Just let the spirit come.’
‘We’re well rehearsed,’ Kate said. ‘We’ve all been through it.’
‘More than once, in some cases,’ Cindy said.
Hazel wondered if Jenny were blushing. The girl pulled her hair over her face, and continued.
‘Beloved is the Lord God made flesh. The Great Manifestation will give you proof. Until then, you’ll have to get by on faith.’
Hazel nodded, water slopping into her mouth. She understood this was important, but didn’t feel it vital she understood everything straight away. If she’d been waiting all her life, a few more hours didn’t matter.
Kate cupped a little water in her hand and sprinkled it on her bulging dress, wetting down her stomach.
‘For luck,’ she explained. ‘The baby will be blessed.’
‘We share Love,’ Janet said.
‘We all share Love,’ Jenny agreed. ‘Tonight will be yours, Hazel. It’ll be special, but we all have a part.’
‘Alleiluya,’ they chorused.
The four faces bobbed over the water, beaming benevolence.
‘We’ll be with you from now until the Great Manifestation. We’ll look after you. Think of us as bridesmaids’