‘Now, let’s see if I can remember how to do up a tie.’

Mira’s rubbish at it. Every time she slides the knot up towards my neck, I feel a bit panicky.

‘It doesn’t matter; I’ll work it out.’

I pull away from Mira, but she keeps hold of the end and bangs on the wall. ‘Krish! Can you come help Lai Lai with her tie?’

How hard can it be for my sister to call me by my name?

I want to scream!

Krish strolls in, headphones dangling around his neck; the tinny sound of his ‘ambient’ track leaking out.

He takes the tie back over my head and practises on himself. ‘How d’you want it – fat or skinny?’

‘How would I know?’

‘You’d better hedge your bets for the first week then!’

I actually have no idea what he’s talking about, which isn’t that unusual because Mira and Krish say stuff like this all the time, and then when I ask them what they’re on about, they always come back with something totally rubbish like ‘You’ll see!’ or ‘You’ll find out one day’ – I especially hate it when they say that!

Krish loops the long tail bit through the knot and slides it up into a perfect V, stopping just where the button meets the collar.

‘Slick or what? Thought I’d let you see what a regulation standard tie looks like, so you’ll know not to do one again. The choice is strictly fat or skinny . . . Or not at all!’

Mira widens her eyes at Krish like she’s warning him not to carry on.

‘I didn’t know you had a choice?’

‘You don’t, Lai Lai! Do as I say, not as I did!’ Krish laughs. ‘Forgetting or losing your tie is not an option; neither is refusing to wear one. Take it from me – you don’t want to waste your life in detention over a tie.’

Krish does his robot walk back towards the door even though it hasn’t got a laugh out of me since I was in Year Five. When is anyone going to wake up and see that I’m actually nearly twelve years old? Krish raises his – supposed to be Dalek – arms jerkily into position, ready to aim and fire.

‘I am a u-ni-form – I will ex-term-in-ate you!’

‘Not helpful, Krish!’ Mira cuffs him on the arm. ‘Get out of here!’

‘By the way, don’t call me Lai Lai any more!’ I yell after Krish.

He pokes his head back around the door.

‘What am I supposed to call you then?’

‘Laila.’

‘But I’ve never called you Laila!’ Krish complains.

‘And that’s your logical reason for calling me by a baby name forever, is it?’

Krish scowls. ‘I forgot, Your Honour. What about Kez? Is she going to call you Laila?’

I haven’t thought about Kez. Mira and Krish are exchanging that look again. When I was little they used to spell out words that they didn’t want me to understand. Then, when I got to the age when it was obvious I could spell whatever they were trying to hide from me, the knowing looks kicked in. They might as well get a loudspeaker and shout at the top of their voices: ‘What’s up with Lai Lai?’

Still, I suppose I should thank them for the spelling thing. It turned me into the best speller in primary school!

I will actually let Kez keep calling me ‘Lai Lai’ because she’d never shame me up by calling me that in front of anyone else, like Mira and Krish do. Anyway, it’s always been Lai Lai and Kez. It wouldn’t feel right for her to call me anything else.

‘Make an exception for your brother. I don’t think I can call you Laila. It feels like I’m talking to someone else.’

‘Maybe I am someone else!’ I say, checking myself out in the long mirror.

‘Deep!’ Krish shrugs and plugs himself back into his music.

Me and Mira sit on her bed for a bit without talking, just looking around the bare walls. I chew on the inside of my mouth. This is so strange.

‘So,’ she says at last, ‘I’ve left you a few books I used to love at your age.’

I walk over to Mira’s shelves and pick up one of them. It’s a novel with a girl’s face on the cover. She’s wearing bright red lipstick and has slightly fangy teeth. Kez has a whole shelf full of these she read in Year Six. Calls it her vampire moment. She used to go on and on about how they didn’t really have anything to do with being bitten on the neck. I never got it. I drop it back down on the shelf.

‘Vampires! Don’t think so!’

‘I was really into them for a while. But there’s all sorts. I’ve taken the ones I can’t live without. If you don’t want them you can always give them away. Kez might want them . . .’

‘She’s probably read most of these,’ I say, scanning the other titles.

It feels like Mira’s only talking about the books because she’s stuck for something to say. Now she takes her phone out of her pocket.

‘Here, let’s take a selfie! Krish, get back in here a minute,’ Mira calls through the wall. ‘I want a last picture of the three of us in my old room!’ Mira widens her eyes at me like she still thinks it’s outrageous for me to move in, though my bedroom’s practically a box compared to this and she won’t even be here. I think she’s only joking, but I wish she’d stop going on about me taking her room, because I actually do feel bad about it – kind of guilty.

Krish comes in and squishes on to Mira’s bed.

‘Jump up, Lai Lai; you’ve got to sit next to me. Get us in the right order!

We jostle for places higher and lower so we can all fit in.

‘Everyone say “Lai Lai”!’ Krish grins this really stupid wide grin.

I elbow him in the side and stick my tongue out.

‘That’s a saver. Ping it to me,’ Krish says, laughing at the photo.

When I’m on my own again, I stand for a long time and look at the person in the mirror. The truth is I’ve never really thought about me being on my own before. Maybe it feels worse than it would because of Kez. I just wish Krish and Mira weren’t leaving at the same time. Mira going to college is bad enough, but Krish heading off too! He could have waited at least till I start secondary school. How am I going to get to sleep at night without listening to those two chatting on about nothing and everything on their mobiles? This stuff – this messing-around-in-our-rooms thing – is what we’ve always done. It’s who we are together. It’s who I am.