The synagogue looks a bit like a community hall. Outside there’s a sign that says ‘Reform Synagogue’. I should have dressed up like Pari. She’s really gone to town on her scarf sparkles, sequinned top and green net skirt like a long tutu. Maybe I should have worn a dress too. Too late now.
Hannah comes to the entrance and greets us all, hugging Mum and Dad and shaking hands with Pari. She looks so happy and sparkly-eyed, excited and nervous at the same time. She tells us that we’re Kez’s special guests so we should go and sit at the front with Kez’s other friends.
Dad picks up a white cap and fixes it to the crown of his head.
A woman standing behind a table hands us two heavy prayer books.
‘Do you know how to read these?’ she asks us.
Mum shakes her head.
‘I’ll be the guide.’ Dad takes the books from her, and Mum gives him this look as if she didn’t expect him to know what to do.
The room is full of people of all different ages. Kez is sitting at the front with her mum and dad, Bubbe, her uncles, aunts and cousins. She looks beautiful. Her hair’s gone back to its normal chestnut colour and she’s styled it into loose curls that flow down her back. She’s not wearing any make-up and she looks like the Kez I’ve always known. She’s wearing a silvery straight dress with long sleeves and little pumps on her feet. She keeps smiling over at us and waving while we wait for the service to begin. Rebecca and Selina are in front of us . . . and Stella. She turns around and smiles at me and Pari. I didn’t know she’d been invited. I even didn’t know Kez knew her. Rebecca turns around and introduces us to all the other friends. ‘And that’s Adam!’ she whispers, raising her eyebrows and pointing to a tall boy with wavy black hair sitting on the front row. ‘She kept him a bit quiet, didn’t she?’ Becks laughs.
For the first time in secondary school when we’re all together I don’t feel like we’re all in different camps.
‘That’s our rabbi, Miriam,’ Becks whispers, and everyone hushes as she walks up to the platform and does the welcome. She wears a flowery shirt and a shawl around her shoulders and something like the cap that Dad’s wearing. I thought the rabbi would be a man. Rabbi Miriam looks about Mum and Hannah’s age. She smiles at us before she greets everyone on behalf of the family. She says what a joyous occasion it is to be here to celebrate the bat mitzvah of Kezia Braverman.
Bubbe’s eyes are glistening with pride.
The rabbi says a bat mitzvah marks a transition from childhood into the responsibilities of adulthood.
‘. . . And to do this we need to bring all our voices together in celebration. We are lucky to have Ruth here today, our cantor – she’ll be playing the guitar and helping us to keep vaguely in tune!’
She asks us to turn to the welcoming prayer. Rebecca twists around to show us that the page numbering starts at the back. Me and Pari struggle a bit with the thin paper, holding the heavy book and turning the pages backwards, but we finally find the prayer. I like the sweet sound of the singing along to the guitar. It’s a bit folky, like the music Bubbe plays sometimes. You can sort of predict where the tune’s heading, and even though I don’t understand Hebrew apart from the odd word I’ve heard from Bubbe, I pick up the repeated words and phrases.
‘What does Adonai mean?’ I whisper to Rebecca.
‘Lord!’ she whispers back.
Rabbi Miriam starts talking about Kez’s family. She says that in a moment we will make the prayer to the Avot . . . the forefathers. Bubbe’s glistening eyes overflow and tears roll down her cheeks. She catches my eye and nods in my direction, and just knowing what I do about her story makes me feel so close to her. Kez reaches for Bubbe’s hand while they pray and sing ‘L’dor Vador’ – ‘from generation to generation’. Bubbe wipes her eyes so that by the end of the song she’s singing along with everyone else.
The singing in Hebrew takes you somewhere else. I thought it might be boring not understanding the language. At first I look in the prayer book to try to keep up and read the translation, but soon I just let the sound of the chant-singing take me over. Pari is swaying a little bit backwards and forwards as she listens.
‘I can actually understand some words,’ she whispers.
Rabbi Miriam smiles at Kez reassuringly. ‘Now, Kezia, let us take a little time to breathe and reconnect to our soul breath – our Neshima – before we begin the prayer of the Covenant. Kezia has requested that her bubbe be by her side for this part of the service as we open the doors of the Ark.’
‘This is my favourite bit. That’s where the holy book’s kept . . . the Torah,’ Rebecca explains to Selina.
Rabbi Miriam leads everyone in prayer again, then introduces Kezia. An older girl called Sarah stands by Kez’s side. The rabbi thanks her for helping to guide Kez to prepare for her bat mitzvah. I see now why it’s taken Kez so long to get ready for this day.
The whole family and some of the men and women in shawls stand together. Hannah’s on one side of Kez and Maurice on the other. Kez’s Uncle Leonard is there too and her youngest cousin Noah with his cute curly hair. He’s so smart in his little navy-blue suit. I didn’t even know they made suits for four year olds! Now Kez’s Uncle Leonard is holding the enormous scroll. Kez stands with Hannah on one side and Maurice on the other supporting her as she walks slowly around the whole room while a prayer is sung. People reach out to touch the holy scroll as it’s carried around.
The scroll is finally unrolled. Kez keeps standing and leans hard on the lectern. Rabbi Miriam squeezes her hand and Kez starts to sing her verses from the Torah.
She sings the whole of her parsha in Hebrew in her soft, smooth voice . . . I could never sing like that, without any music or anything. Mostly the chant-singing is along the same kind of notes, but sometimes she adds a bit of her own sound to an end note, like she does when she’s singing along to Adele!
Rebecca turns to me and grins. ‘She’s rocking it. It’s faultless!’
After the song Kez speaks to Rabbi Miriam, who goes over and whispers something to Hannah. She wheels Kez’s chair up to the platform, and Kez looks relieved to be finally sitting. That must have taken a huge effort. Now Rabbi Miriam moves the lectern aside so that everyone can see Kez. She takes her notes off the stand and hands them to her. Kez pauses and arranges them on her lap.
She looks over to us and explains. ‘The parsha I’m about to interpret is the portion of the Torah that I’ve studied. It’s about the power of community in our world today.’
She looks much more nervous now that she’s talking, and her voice wobbles.
‘My parsha talks of three different aspects of community. “Edah” – this is the side of community where we are all witness to what’s happening around us. My bubbe has helped me prepare for today and we’ve talked about this a lot. I have asked this community to contribute to the new refuge our friend Janu is building in India for street children.’ Kez looks over and smiles at me. ‘When I was in primary school my friend Laila and I saw a video of a four-year-old girl with cerebral palsy sitting on the floor waiting for hours for someone to come and help her. It made us see how much we have, and Laila and I decided that we had to do something in our community to raise funds for the refuge in Kolkata. So this helped me to understand that “community” has a wide meaning . . . that little girl is now my sponsored sister Reena. One day soon we will meet each other. Even though she lives so far away from me in the world, she’s part of my community here too because I am witness to her difficulties.’
Selina and Stella turn around and smile at us. I’ve never seen Stella looking so emotional and gentle.
‘I’m so happy she invited us all,’ Pari whispers.
After a pause, when Kez sits for a moment and takes a few deep breaths, she repeats some more words in Hebrew.
‘The second meaning of community is “tzibbur”. I interpret this to mean when we come together for the same reason, even though we may not have things like religion in common. It was my bubbe’s idea to invite some people today who I know well and some people I want to get to know better. In my school there are many students with different religions who are my friends. I think that, if we needed to, we would stand up as a community for things that we know are right and also stand against things that we see are wrong.’
Pari’s shoulder touches mine as she leans in to me. Now I get why we’re all here together.
Then Kez again repeats some more words in Hebrew.
‘The third and final aspect is “kehilla”. This can be used for good or to create conflict. It’s how people come together as a powerful force. and take group responsibility for a situation. My bubbe and I have talked about this a lot. When I see what is happening with refugee people, especially children, I think that the kehilla aspect of community is not being followed by the leaders in this world today. When there are so many people in chaos it is easy to say, “I can’t do anything to help with this.” But I’ve been thinking that if everybody says, “I will help to make this change” – like when Quaker people helped my family when they came here as refugees – then kehilla could become a powerful movement for good.
‘Everything I have said about my parsha comes from thinking about my friends and family and how they have supported me to help me stand here. My friends coming together for my bat mitzvah gives me hope that the three aspects of community I have learned about in my parsha can be a guide for me in my life, for us. I think we are all witnesses and so we are all responsible.’
I feel the tears roll down my cheeks and I don’t even try to stop them. I feel so incredibly proud of my friend Kez. I look over to Mum and she’s crying too. She smiles at me through her tears.
The rest of the service, the prayers and the standing and sitting, is a bit of a blur to me.
There are more prayers and singing, and the Torah scroll is rolled up. Kez’s uncle walks with it around the room again. It’s placed back into the Ark and the doors are closed.
As Rabbi Miriam is doing ‘notices and news’, Kez turns around and gives us all a huge grin. Bubbe hugs her close. I want to run over and sit with them. I still feel choked up that she made us all so much part of her story. It’s like she’s used her bat mitzvah as a way to bring us closer together, and all this time I’d thought she didn’t think much about me any more.
‘Party time!’ Rebecca says.
Now someone’s throwing sweets, and all the little children scrabble around for them and then it’s over. Kez looks so relieved and happy. The rabbi does a prayer to bless the wine and food and invites everyone to go into the next room for the kiddush.
Pari, Stella and I follow Rebecca and the others into the hallway where Dad’s coming out of the bathroom with Kez’s dad. The two of them have their arms around each other’s shoulders and they each take a drink off a tray and cheers each other.
‘Yes, much nachas!’
‘Well, rightly so, Maurice. You’ve got every right to be proud.’
‘But it all starts here!’ Kez’s dad nods over in the direction of the door.
I follow their eyes and find Kez by the door chatting to Adam, and it’s impossible for anyone not to notice the look that they give each other as he waves goodbye.
Afterwards we all go back to Kez’s flat for her party. Every wall is hung with fairy lights and there are huge bouquets of flowers on the table. Pari says the flowers are called ‘birds of paradise’.
As we walk through the door, Pari pulls me aside. She has the same look on her face as when she first came to my house.
‘You won’t tell anyone about the Lighthouse, will you?’ she whispers to me.
I shake my head, but now I feel bad again. I don’t want to feel like this at Kez’s party. I go through the motions of dancing and having fun, and Pari joins in too, but I can’t stop thinking about everything Kez said about being part of the same community. What she said then made perfect sense, but now with Pari dancing by my side and knowing how she lives I have this feeling again in my gut that this can’t be right. Why should Pari feel ashamed of being poor? Why should I keep quiet about those racists who attacked Janu? How can we all dance together if we don’t tell the truth about how things are?
