Alex had put up with her strange ways thus far. There was a chance he’d play along. But with his recent breakup still looming large, it wouldn’t be fair to push him. If they went out, one of two things would happen. Either he’d snap out of his denial, or the night out would send him into a downward spiral of self-destruction. High stakes. Would giving him an opportunity to face the truth help him out in the long run?
Hurrying over to their coffee shop table, she planted both hands on his shoulders from behind to bow and kiss his cheek before sitting down. “Okay, I need you to hear me out.”
“That’s an ominous start,” he said.
She looped her purse strap off over her head to dump it on the table. “What are you doing this Saturday?”
“Uh…” he started, picking up his cup. “Working until you come in and steam up my bathroom.”
She smiled. “How would you feel about a date?” His cup stopped before it got to his lips. Grabbing for his free hand, she didn’t want him to jump to any conclusions. “Don’t worry, it’s not a real date, not really…” She frowned. “Not exactly.”
“Babe—”
“It’s Gwenie. She really, really wants to meet you and—”
“Your roommate?” he asked, the picture of shock. “You want to set me up on a date with your roommate?”
Nodding, she squeezed his forearm with both hands. “You don’t have to worry about any awkward moments. She knows you’re not interested in women, so—”
“Rainie—”
“Demetri is back in town,” she explained. “He wants to go out. Gwenie isn’t sure it’s a good idea. We talked about inviting him to our place, but my ex in my apartment…” On a semi-groan, her head tilted side-to-side back and forth, weighing up the possibilities. “That’s risky. If he thinks sex is guaranteed… I’m not ruling anything out, we might go to bed but—”
“Rainie!”
He’d learned a quick, sharp exclamation was the only way to interrupt the rhythm of an impending rant. Laying a hand on his cheek for a quick second, she appreciated him and put a finger to her own lips, showing she’d stay silent while he said his piece.
His eyes flicked back and forth between hers. What was he searching for? Permission? She smiled.
“Babe, I don’t want to date your roommate and I don’t think you should go out with Demetri.”
“Well, not alone,” she said. “That’s the point of the date. We’ll double date… I never thought about how great it was to have a guy friend. Now you and Gwenie can come with us and make your own assessment. At the end of the night—”
“My answer is already no,” he said. “I don’t need to meet the guy to know you shouldn’t be opening that door again.”
If they were a little further from his relationship with Lance, she might use him as an example.
Vague shouldn’t open any raw wounds. “Isn’t there anyone from your past? Anyone from your life, that if they called you up and asked you out, you wouldn’t be in the least bit curious?”
Again, he stared into her. What was with the staring? A twitch in his jaw betrayed him. He was thinking of someone. Someone specific she’d bet.
“He didn’t make you happy,” Alex said. “You told me that and said we should all strive for happiness. This guy had his chance. Now it’s time for the next guy to have a shot with you.”
She snorted. “If you haven’t noticed, they’re not exactly lining up around the block. Plenty of guys ask me out, but I’m picky. Maybe too much.”
And she was high maintenance. Expensive too. When was the last time she’d had to line up for a coffee or pay for one?
“Why do I have to say that?”
“You’re one of my best friends,” she said, raising her cup. “Should we start a kitty for this? I’ve been a complete freeloader in here.”
“Why the change of heart?” he asked, ignoring her question. “You want him back? What? Did he sell you some line about changing?”
“I don’t know that Demetri is capable of change. He’s not the kind of guy interested in personal growth.”
“But you want another chance at a future with him?”
“There’s something nostalgic about spending time with former lovers, don’t you think?”
“Nostalgic?”
“Yeah, you know how he’ll touch you, what his kiss will feel like. There’s comfort in that.” Sliding her hand down his wrist, she parted his fingers with hers to link them together. “You know what it’s like when you have that connection, when you feel the sparks, when you can just relax and feel. You don’t have to worry or plan or be self-conscious… You can just trust and hand yourself over to someone else and be trusted with their pleasure… Time stops…” She breathed out as her eyes sank shut. “I need that. I need time to stop, Alex.”
When her eyes opened, there was something intense in his probing expression.
A score of seconds passed before he spoke. “When and where,” he grumbled, surrendering to her request.
A true friend, Alex was vital to her life. Honest and loyal. On the day they met, she trashed his pants, but she couldn’t be sorry her clumsiness had brought them together.
***
Alex was waiting at the bar when she and Gwen arrived that Saturday. With her friend’s hand in hers, she pulled her across the room to him. Like he sensed them, he turned to smile at her before they got anywhere close.
“Beautiful,” Alex said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “I got you both the rosé.”
Her favorite. “Thank you,” she said, pulling Gwen front and center. “Alex, this is Gwenie. Gwendolyn, Alex.”
“Wow,” her friend said, accepting his handshake. “You said he was hot. You didn’t say he was GQ hot. Shit, are you sure you’re gay?”
“Gwenie,” Rainie hissed, putting an arm around her waist to direct her in close to the bar. “I told you not to do that.”
Gwen picked up her glass. “For a woman so adept at not thinking before she speaks, you expect a lot from the rest of us.”
She raised her glass to Alex and then Gwen. “Let’s toast to friendship.”
Her friends were polite enough to raise their glasses and drink. It didn’t take long for Alex to lower his and prop an elbow on the bar to scan the space.
“So is the creep here yet?”
Gwen laughed. “The creep? That’s what you call him? Demetri is never on time, Alex. Never, ever. I like this guy, Rainie.” She thrust out her chest. “Look at my boobs. You feel nothing?”
“Stop,” she said, pulling her friend aside to put herself between them. “Leave him alone; he’s doing us a favor.” Leaning against him, she laid a forearm on his chest to peek up at him. “I’m sorry. I promised this would be easy.”
Alex tucked her hair behind her ear. “This was never going to be easy, Button.”
“He’s not that bad,” Rainie said, turning on the spot to address Gwen. “Please tell Alex that Demetri is not that bad.”
“The guy is hot as sin,” Gwen said, enjoying her wine. “Not exactly a conversationalist, and completely shallow.”
“Oh, he’s not totally shallow,” Rainie said, resting a hand on Alex’s forearm when it curved around her torso to ease her back against him. “You were never a fan of Demetri’s.”
“Never a fan of the guy who made us sit and look through his portfolio ten times a week? He spent more time and money taking his own picture than anyone else ever did.” Gwen twisted to face her. “How many times have we sat up late, drinking our wine…” She raised her glass. “Talking about what we want for our futures and from the guys we wish we could find?”
“A zillion,” Rainie said like it was an accurate number.
“And Demetri’s name never comes up. He is not your ideal man.”
“I know. I never said he was,” Rainie said, enjoying the texture of the fabric under her fingertips. “We disagree on just about everything and want different things from a relationship.”
“So what are we doing here?”
“You don’t have to be here,” Rainie said. “You didn’t want me to meet him alone.”
“Because then you’d have sex with him and spend the next two weeks hating yourself.”
“I am capable of spending time with a man and not sleeping with him,” she said, pushing back against the friend behind her. “Ask Alex. We sleep in the same bed all the time.” She raised her chin. “Have we had sex?”
“That’s not the same,” Gwen said. “So if it’s not about sex, why are we here?”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t about sex,” Rainie said. “I’m open to it. Maybe it’s about sex. I’m horny… I’ve been horny for like a month straight. Dem wanted to meet, and we were a couple, why should I ignore his invitation just because we’re not sleeping together every night? If it was about sex for him, he could’ve just drunk texted me at two a.m. He knows me well enough to know I don’t play games. We were together. We didn’t do the long romantic seduction thing every time we got down and dirty. He knows that. If he wanted sex from me, he could just ask. I could say yes or no and…” She smiled. “We would go from there.”
“You need to get out more, Rainie. Next weekend, we’re hitting the bars and clubs. We need to get back in the pool.” Gwen looked over her head. “You can come with us, Alex. We’ll show you the nightlife.”
“No,” Rainie said. “It’s only been a couple of weeks; Alex isn’t ready for a new relationship.”
“He can get laid if he wants; he doesn’t have to start a relationship. It’s fun, Rainie! Stop worrying about him so much.” Again, Gwen looked beyond her. “She worries about you all the time.”
“Oh, stop,” Rainie said, linking her fingers between Alex’s, tightening his hold. “I don’t worry about him all the time.”
“She worries about everyone all the time,” Gwen muttered.
Her mouth opened because she intended to refute that. Then she spotted Demetri in the crowd. “Oh, he’s here.”
“Time to give me my date,” Gwen said, drawing her out of Alex’s embrace to take her place. “And we need more drinks.”
“Order whatever you like,” Alex said. “I’ve got it.”
Breaking away, Rainie went to meet Demetri. “Hey,” she said, getting his attention.
The moment his eyes landed on hers, they warmed. Still that lazy smile and those drowsy eyes. Mmm. Gwen was right, Demetri was hotter than sin.
“Shiny,” Demetri said, his slow arm slithering around her shoulders to pull her close. “Goddamn, you look good.”
He descended to join their mouths before she’d thought of what to say next. It wasn’t about sex… or was it? Demetri was a straightforward guy; in that they’d been the same.
Seconds into seeing each other again, he was kissing her. What did she want? Did she want him to kiss her? Alex and Gwen were just across the room, she’d expected a fun evening. Standing there, experiencing his kiss, time didn’t stop. Oblivion was nowhere near.
She missed Alex’s arm around her waist. How could she be fixating on that? It was nuts. Demetri was giving her something Alex never could. So why was she thinking about that arm? About how her friend was there before her and Gwen. How he’d bought their drinks and offered more. Alex took care of them. He was something different, something she was getting used to. That could be dangerous. If she ever wanted to have anything resembling a stable relationship again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to lean a little less on her coffee shop buddy.