I stood at the front of the chapel, staring down at the flowers in my hands. I was supposed to be concentrating on the vows and my sister’s big moment, but my eyes kept traveling to the back door. My heart had at least a dozen reasons to be lodged in my throat, not the least of which was the man I hoped would walk through the door at any minute.
Finally, they opened a crack and my heart settled as James stepped in. He’d had to testify at Miles’ hearing, and since the court refused to move the date, he was left flying in for the wedding at the last minute.
Even though he’d missed most of the wedding—leaving me a nervous wreck—the wait was damn worth it to see him groomed in a suit and tie. The rush I still got every time I saw him made enduring the last four months worth it. Trying to figure out how to get everything back on track made us both grumpy at times, so we fought, made up, and argued it out in counseling—along with defending our decision to do it together at every turn. I didn’t care who agreed. It was the right decision.
I bit my lip and turned my attention back to my sister. Peter slipped the ring on her finger, and the officiant pronounced them husband and wife. They kissed and turned to the crowd, but my eyes fluttered to the back of the room.
He was gone. Just as quickly and quietly as he’d entered, he had disappeared.
Everyone in the room rose to their feet as Chey and Peter returned down the aisle and exited the room. I walked across the stage to meet the best man, and he took my arm and led me down the aisle.
My stomach fluttered and flipped. Just a little longer, I told myself.
I stepped into the reception room—thankful that Chey had opted for an informal party—and an arm grabbed me and pulled me against the wall.
“How’d it go?” I asked, going straight to business before he could even plant a kiss.
He squinted then straightened with a huff. “They decided to give him a deal. He’ll be moved to another facility so he won’t be in contact with anyone from the ring and he’ll be eligible for parole next year. With his testimony, we have more than enough to make sure Milo is finished. And, if Miles gives the investigators information to finish taking down the rest operation, in another year or two he could be on probation. He’ll still have to register as a sex offender, but the judge thinks he has a good chance.”
I smiled and nodded, but without Alley, it was only half a victory. “How is he?”
“He’s still taking it hard. He wants to clean up and do right by Alley.”
I sucked in a breath and pressed my back against the wall. I wasn’t supposed to want to bawl my eyes out at a wedding over this.
“You look beautiful,” James said, bringing me out of my head.
“And you look damn sexy,” I said, pulling on his tie and capturing his lips. I didn’t care if half the room saw us. Being with him made me happy, gave me the courage to live for myself, and not care what anyone else thought. “Thanks for flying down here.”
“You know I wouldn’t have missed it.” He propped his chin on top of my head and held me tight for a moment, then he kissed my cheek. “I arranged for us to get a cabin tonight. I thought we could use a little… romantic time.”
“Romantic time?” I felt a smile consume my face and my heart fluttered in my chest. “Are we finally breaking our no sex clause?”
“Before I go insane, yes.”
I pulled him close; I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. And how hard it had been over the last few months, but the latter part didn’t have to be spoken, since I knew he felt the same way. And, either way, I’d make damn sure that I showed him how I felt by the end of the night.
We made our way to one of the tables near the edge of the room—since James almost always had to sit with his back to the wall in a crowded room.
As soon as we sat down, Mom made a bee-line for us. “Care for kid duty for a while?”
“Sure,” I held out the word and grimaced. The kid still freaked me out, like I was going to do something wrong, or she’d never stop crying. But I had to give it to her; she was a cute little handful.
James leaned over, poking Laney in the stomach as he whispered, “You can go mingle if you want.”
“Uh, no. I’m not much of a go mingle person, even if it is family and friends.” Sometimes that was worse. Even if they didn’t ask what happened while I was missing, I got the strange glances. And the awkward, “how have you been?” I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready for dinner with large groups of people again.
“Well, I’m starving so I’m grabbing some food before this buffet runs out,” he kissed my temple and rose to abandon me not only to the crowd, but to the twenty pounds of chaos in my lap.
I caught his suit jacket as he passed behind me. “Please, bring me some food.”
“Don’t think I’ll share?”
My skin heated. “I want my own plate,” I growled.
He snorted and bent over the back of my chair to kiss me.
Jack ass, I thought, but at least he could joke about the little things.
Laney thumped her tiny fists against the table and made some kind of burbling noise that sounded like a warning signal before an explosion. I really hoped that wasn’t the case. Then, she perked up and cooed.
Dear lord, I’m in for it.
“Whatcha doin’ Laney,” Chey squealed beside me.
“Oh good. Go to Mommy. That seems brilliant.”
“You really need to get over your kid aversion,” Chey mumbled, scooping up her baby.
I ignored the jab. “Congratulations.” I stood and hugged Chey first, and then Peter, catching James’ expression as I stepped away.
Brother-in-law, I reminded silently, but I doubted it mattered. The one thing James hadn’t gotten over was possessive protectiveness. He sat the plates down and slid his arm around my waist. Here we go.
“James this is Peter. My sister’s husband and father of the spawn.”
Peter chuckled and held out his hand to James. “I’d be offended, but I’ve known her so long, I stopped listening. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
James made a sound in his throat that sounded halfway between a laugh and a worried groan.
“All good,” Chey added.
“Shouldn’t you two be entertaining your guests?” I asked.
But as soon as Chey pushed Laney toward me, I regretted my words.
“Wh—I did my tour of duty.”
“And she hardly ever gets to see you. We’re at the front table, just until after dinner and our dance?”
I got the feeling this was going to be the longest dinner ever—at least the longest dinner I’d actually have the privilege of eating at. As soon as I sat down and tried to balance a kid with eating, all Laney wanted to do was wiggle and flap around. Finally, James took pity, reached over, and plucked her up. He had a patience I couldn’t quite match. She squirmed away in his lap, too, but he turned it into some kind of game that had her giggling up a storm. I shook my head and finished the rest of my food, but I couldn’t help constantly glancing over at him and smiling.
“Don’t,” he whispered, and I frowned back. “Don’t keep watching me like that and thinking that I’m good with her.”
“You are good with her, and it’s adorable. But I also get that it doesn’t mean that you want your own, and I’m fine with that.”
He glared back. “You don’t think that one day you’re going to regret not being a mother, or resent it?”
“I’m good.” I shook my head, “Cute as she is… no. There’s nothing rational about kids, they’re just… utter chaos. I’ve had enough of that for one lifetime.”
James’ eyes went dull, and I wished I could pull back the last part of the sentence, but a hand landed on my shoulder.
“You might think differently when it’s your kid,” Mom said, rubbing the back of my head before she reached over James’ shoulder for Laney.
I groaned and tossed the napkin from my lap onto the table. “You weren’t supposed to hear all of that.”
“And I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose,” She took the seat next to me, but as soon as Laney saw her she turned into a fusspot until we passed her around the table. Mom laid her against her shoulder and patted her back. “Hey, princess….”
I felt something brush the inside of my wrist. “Rose.”
My chest stuttered when I tried to inhale, but when I finally managed a deep breath, the sounds of the room bombarded my senses.
James’ fingers brushed my neck. “You zoned out for a second,” he whispered.
Goosebumps took over my flesh. Every sense felt overstimulated.
James draped his jacket over my shoulders, holding my hand and resting his other arm against the back of my chair.
“I’m okay,” I said, but every nerve in my skin tingled and burned, especially up the back of my neck.
“Rose?” Mom sat forward, watching me as intently as James was.
“I have some not-so-great memories associated with Princess.” I heard Gabe echo the word in my head, but I took a deep breath and shoved him away. “I’m good.”
I relaxed, letting James angle me sideways to lean against him. “I really am fine, Mom.”
She smiled and shifted Laney to her other arm. “I don’t think I ever want to know the details, but I’m glad you two have each other.”
Reaching over my shoulder, I hooked my hand around James’ neck. “Me, too.”
He pressed his lips to my temple and whispered, “I love you, Rose.”
My heart slammed into my chest walls, and the coldness I had felt faded as warmth sparked beneath my skin. I watched his eyes dance as his gaze flickered over me. “I love you, too.”
As long as I lived, I knew I’d never get enough of watching the light catch his eyes every time he reacted to my proclamation. I nearly forgot we were in a room filled with people, where my mom sat two feet away. When I looked back, she still had a hint of hesitance behind her eyes—I guessed it was weird for everyone else how quickly James and I could pull each other back, but we’d grown used to it.
*****
After the reception, we drove out to the circle of cabins where we’d be staying the next few nights. It was great to get away from everything, and even better to have James all to myself. I kicked off my shoes as soon as we entered, and considered stripping out of the uncomfortable dress as well, but I decided to leave that fun for James.
We took a bottle of champagne to the back porch and curled up together in a wicker love seat, toasting as darkness fell over the woods. I’d nabbed the extra bottle from the reception to kick off our private celebration. My insides were already curled tight in anticipation of the night. To be honest, they had been since James told me about the cabin.
Being with him always kept me worked up, but he was determined that we wouldn’t use sex as an out, and I knew he needed to heal. We both needed to heal, but I had a feeling it was much deeper for him. Not only what he’d done with me—to me—but what he’d had to do and watch before I even showed up. So, as much as it frustrated me sometimes, I stood by our promise to keep sex off the table.
And it made this night all the more delicious. I wanted it so badly I could already feel my toes curling, but I also wanted to savor it. To bask in the feeling of his skin on mine—the simple ease that had settled between us.
James sat his glass down on the floor next to the leg of the chair and dragged his fingers through my hair as I finished the last few drinks of my own.
“You sure you’re ready for this,” I teased handing him my glass as well.
He chuckled, slipping his fingers down the top of my tight gown. Then he pulled them out and patted my stomach. “You’re right. Maybe we should give it another few months.”
I straightened and pulled at his tie. “No.” I tugged him closer until our lips touched. A gentle first caress. I wanted to savor every tiny feeling, but I also had the urge to devour him.
The kiss turned into a heated struggle as my fingers found his hair and his hands grabbed my hips, pulling me into his lap to feel his stiffening member.
I loosened his tie without removing my lips from his for more than a second. Our tongues collided as my hands flew to his shirt buttons.
“You want to do this here?” He glanced through the screen at the neighboring cabins and I stretched over him to flick off the lights.
“They won’t see anything,” I kissed him and nibbled his lip, but the wicker chair wasn’t going to be a very suitable location.
I pressed my lips to his once more then jumped to my feet. “Wait here.”
I ran to the bedroom pulled off the comforter and dragged it back out to the porch and spread it out on the porch.
“They may not see anything, but I’m sure they’ll hear plenty,” James kicked off his shoes and grabbed the straps of my dress, pushing them down over my arms. He kissed along my collar bone then down my arm, while I worked at freeing his belt and getting his pants off. He unzipped the back of my dress and slipped it down over my hips, then pushed me to the floor.
He tugged the dress past my legs and tossed it into the corner, along with his shirt and pants.
I’d waited so long to have his hot skin against mine again, to run my fingers over his muscles, and to feel him inside of me. Everything faded into a blur of touching, kissing and pulling each other closer until there was nowhere left to go.
James pulled away from my naked body. Circling his fingers over the scar on my shoulder where I had been shot. Then, he ducked forward and kissed the raised pink skin before inching his way down my body with his hot lips. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer and urging him on.
I was about to go out of my mind with need and all he could do was tease. He smirked at my attempt but kept his attention above my waist, tracing light circles around my nipples.
Grabbing his hair, I pulled him down to face me. “I’m. Fucking. Losing. It.”
“Good,” he whispered. I moaned as he finally pressed at my wet and waiting entrance, but he paused. I rocked my hips toward him, trying to push him forward.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he groaned, pressing into me slowly. I almost came from the mix of anticipation and the feeling of him inside me for the first time in months. I wrapped my legs around his hips and rocked mine in time with his thrusts.
I moaned against his neck and planted my feet against the floor so I could press up against him until his pelvic bone pressed against my clit with every thrust. My fingers dug into his shoulder blades, and I cried out.
We had the next four days for slow and delicate. Right now, my body wanted release—a hard and fast nerve-tingling orgasm.
My body quivered beneath his, our groans and pants tangled together in a chorus of need as his pace quickened. Ever nerve came to attention as the bundle of burning pressure grew. I caught his lips as the initial wave of the orgasm slammed through me; his taste filled my mouth, his tongue pressing against my own.
He continued thrusting as the trembling orgasm exploded through me. Harder, deeper, faster, until he groaned and shook above me. I rubbed my hands down his sweat-slicked chest as he rolled off me and pulled my body against his.
As we lay on the floor, catching our breath, I laid my head on his arm and traced the contours of his muscles with my index finger.
I felt full and content, the happiest I had ever felt in my life. We’d come through hell together, fought for each other, and with each other, and as much as that past made me want to scorch my own skin sometimes, looking back at the pain reminded me of how far we’d come. What we were capable of. It made every kiss sweeter. Every breath deeper.
I finally came to terms with everything that happened and realized that I wouldn’t change even the darkest parts of my story, because as badly as the wounds hurt, the pain meant I still had a chance at happiness. And the pain had led me to the man who could help me find it.
“What are you thinking, Sugar?” James asked, trailing his fingers down my jawline.
“That I’m lucky,” Alley’s words flashed through my head. My last memory of her was when she was holding the gun just after the bullet sliced through my arm. But that wasn’t her. She’d let the darkness consume her, simply because she didn’t know how to live without it.
“I love you, Rose.”
“Good,” I smirked, “then you can show me in all of the other rooms of the cabin.”
James chuckled and rolled me onto his chest. “You should have told me I’d have to pace myself.”
“Then, let’s hop in the shower and you can recover. Now that you’re fully warned, you can pace yourself for the rest of the night.”
He playfully smacked my thigh and I leaned forward and whispered against his ear. “I love you, too.”