blur, bum, rum, rub, rube, lure, rule, mule, rue
COSMO PULLED UP outside our place just a few minutes later. Amanda got out of the passenger seat and yanked it forward, so I could climb out of the back. ‘Congrats again, kiddo,’ she said. ‘Your mom’s going to be awfully proud of you.’
Cosmo got out too and gave me a bear hug. ‘You rock, word nerd.’
Amanda got back into the car. Cosmo was heading around to the driver’s side when a voice came out of the darkness. ‘Cosmo.’
Cosmo turned. Like some sort of ghoulish phantom, Silvio materialized from behind a tree. And he wasn’t alone. Two other tough-looking guys flanked him, one on either side. They looked like the Three Stooges – only older, bigger, uglier, and way, way scarier.
‘Silvio,’ said Cosmo calmly. ‘This isn’t a good time.’
‘That’s the problem, my friend. There never seems to be a good time.’
‘I’ve been busy—’
‘I want my money.’
‘And you’ll get it. I’ve already given you three hundred bucks.’
‘That’s not even paying off the interest.’
‘C’mon Sil. I just got full-time work—’
‘What’s going on?’ Amanda had gotten out of the car and was walking toward us.
‘Amanda, wait in the car,’ said Cosmo.
‘Who are these people?’
‘Just a little misunderstanding.’
Silvio sneered. ‘This your lady friend?’ He turned to Amanda. ‘What does a sweet thing like you see in a scumbag like him?’ He reached out to touch her arm and Cosmo whacked his hand away.
‘Don’t touch her.’
Silvio’s eyes flashed with anger. ‘She know about your previous occupation?’
‘Yes, I do,’ Amanda said, trying to sound calm, but I could hear the quaver in her voice.
‘And still she stays with you. Contrary to what some of your ex-girlfriends told me, you must be great in the sack.’ His buddies laughed.
‘Shut up,’ I said. Actually I only meant to think it, but it popped out of my mouth.
Silvio and his goons turned and looked at me.
‘What’s with your midget friend, Cosmo? You develop a taste for boys when you were in prison?’
Cosmo took a step toward Silvio with his fists raised, but Goon Number One quickly moved in and held him back.
‘You’re high,’ said Cosmo, looking into Silvio’s eyes.
‘F— you,’ said Silvio.
‘I’m gonna call the cops,’ I blurted, which, in retrospect, was not the best thing to say because Goon Number Two grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back. I couldn’t move and it hurt.
‘Let him go,’ Cosmo said. ‘Let him and Amanda leave. They won’t call anyone.’
Silvio laughed. ‘I’ve tried to be generous to you, Cosmo. I’ve given you other options.’
‘And I’ve told you. I’m through with that life.’
‘Then I have no other choice but to show you how serious I am about wanting my money,’ Silvio said, as he took a step closer to Cosmo.
Suddenly Amanda stepped right in between them, which I thought was really brave. ‘What does he owe you?’
‘Two thousand bucks. With interest, it’s more like twenty-five hundred.’
‘I can get you that money first thing tomorrow morning,’ said Amanda. ‘As soon as the banks open.’
‘Forget it, Amanda. I’m not taking your money,’ Cosmo said.
‘You can pay me back,’ Amanda said. ‘Without interest.’
‘I have about a hundred and fifty bucks in quarters saved up,’ I piped in, thinking about my quarter jar. ‘It was supposed to go into my education fund, but you can have that, too.’
‘No. No one’s bailing me out.’
Suddenly, and without warning, Silvio punched Cosmo hard in the gut. Cosmo doubled over in pain. When he straightened up, Goon Number One punched him in the face. Cosmo tried to defend himself, but it was two against one. When Silvio punched him in the stomach again, Cosmo fell to the pavement.
Amanda screamed. I screamed. Goon Number Two, the guy who was holding me, put a big hairy hand over my mouth. I bit down hard and he let go, and I managed to squirm free. Then I leaped onto Silvio’s back because he was raining down blows on Cosmo, who was still lying on the ground.
‘Stop it, stop it!’ I screamed, and I hit his head repeatedly with my MOST PROMISING NEWCOMER trophy. Finally he stood up and twisted his body back and forth, trying to get me off his back. As I hung on for dear life, I could see Goon Number One kicking Cosmo as he lay on the ground, and Amanda whacking the goon with her purse. Then Goon Number Two grabbed me from behind and pulled me off Silvio’s back. I landed hard on the ground and my trophy flew out of my hand and hit the driveway.
Looking up, I saw the hose coiled up at the side of the house and I had an idea. I crawled over to it, grabbed the nozzle, and turned on the water full blast. I started spraying them all, trying to avoid Amanda and Cosmo, but that was easier said than done. And, if I’m totally honest, even though I was terrified, I felt more alive than I ever had in my whole life.
Suddenly sirens filled the night air. Next thing I knew, two cop cars pulled up out front. Silvio and his goons actually tried to make a run for it, but who were they kidding? The cops told all of us to get down on our knees and put our hands behind our heads, just like in the movies. Aside from me and the cops, everyone was drenched. Cosmo was really bashed up. A bunch of neighbors had gathered on the sidewalk to watch.
And that’s pretty much what things looked like when, seconds later, my mom came home.