SHE FROZE.
Heart pounding so hard it made her light-headed, she was barely able to make out what the nurse was saying.
“Scuba diver... Accident... Speargun spear through the thigh... Coming in by ambulance from Barefoot Bay.”
That much she gathered. The rest was lost, drowned out by the buzzing in her ears.
What did the doctor think she could do to help? Since the accident, she hadn’t seen a patient, hadn’t treated or even diagnosed an injury. Without her left hand, she was useless. Why couldn’t everyone come to terms with that, the way she had?
“Mina.” She came to when strong hands closed on her shoulders, and Kiah’s gentle voice broke through the stinging noise in her head. “Mina, the ambulance will be here any minute. We need to go get ready.”
“I... I can’t, Kiah.” The words croaked out, just making it past the jagged ball of terror in her throat. “I can’t help.”
He gave her a little shake, and his voice took on that stubborn, take-no-guff tone she knew all too well. “Of course you can help. You’re a doctor. That’s what we do. And John Golding is young, inexperienced. If he needs help, how can you turn your back on him and the patient?”
“But without my hand...”
He gave her another gentle shake.
“Mina, you lost a hand, not your brain. Don’t you know how valuable the experience, the knowledge you have in your head is?”
The question drew her up, made her think, forced her to focus on Kiah’s eyes, the strength and confidence in his gaze.
And she drew on what she saw there, knowing he was right, even in the midst of her fear.
“Okay,” she said, although her voice still wavered, and she trembled. “Okay. Let’s see what we can do.”
“Good girl.” Kiah smiled, then bent and lightly kissed her lips. “We can be your hands; you just guide us in what we have to do.”
Then he was leading her back into the hospital at a quick walk, as she was trying to forget how wonderful his lips felt against hers, how it was that, not her fears, which was making her heart pound.
She must be losing her mind to even notice such a thing. After all, this was Kiah, and they’d been exchanging platonic kisses like that since they were just kids. Or maybe it was her brain’s way of distracting her from what she considered a scary situation.
If that was the case, it was effective, her fear dissipating as soon as she went back through the hospital doors.
The nurse was waiting there and immediately said, “If you’ll come with me, Dr. Haraldson, I’ll get you some scrubs.”
“Thank you,” she replied, hurrying after the other woman.
Once she’d changed, the nurse led her back to the emergency room and into a cubicle, just as a siren could be heard in the distance.
The man who approached her looked as though he could still be in high school, although his voice was deep and confident as he said, “Dr. Haraldson, thank you for assisting. I’m John Golding.”
She nodded, giving him a slight smile as she went past him to a shelf where the gloves were. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Golding. What can you tell me about the patient?”
“From the ambulance report, the twenty-five-year-old patient, Donovan Exeter, was scuba diving when he was shot through the thigh with a speargun.”
“A through-and-through?” she asked.
“No, the spear is still in situ. It entered through the anterolateral aspect, with the tip and about two inches of the shaft exiting the inner thigh. The paramedics wrapped the leg to keep the projectile as stable as possible.”
“Any signs of distal ischemia, pulse deficit or hypotension?”
“No. The limb is warm, both the dorsalis pedis and posterior tibial pulses are strong, and his blood pressure is high, not low. He is also able to move his toes.”
While they spoke, Mina had pulled a pair of gloves from the dispenser, and it was only now that she realized she had no way to put them on. Not to mention, no left hand to wear one on. Up until then, she hadn’t given a thought to the fact her truncated limb was on display in the scrubs, but now embarrassment threated to make her walk out. Yet, she could hear the clatter of the gurney and knew the patient was almost there.
Gathering all the poise she could manage, she turned to the nearby nurse and said, “Please assist me in putting on these gloves.”
To her surprise, the nurse didn’t even blink, but said, “Of course, Doctor.”
The nurse held a glove, and Mina slipped her right hand into it. But when it came to the left...
“I doubt it will stay on,” the nurse whispered quietly.
The gurney came through the door, Kiah accompanying the paramedics from the bay, and there was no more time to dither.
“Thank you,” she said to the nurse, then moved forward to evaluate the patient, sticking her left arm into the pocket of her scrub top. Hopefully, she’d remember to keep it there.
Then it was an exercise in frustration as she was relegated to watching everyone else do the hands-on stuff, while she could only advise.
It quickly became apparent the only way to know how much damage was done to Donovan Exeter’s leg was via X-ray.
Mina moved to the head of the bed, to explain to him what was going to happen next.
“Mr. Exeter, we’re going to have to do some scans to see how much damage was done to your leg internally, before we attempt to remove the spear.”
With the patient’s consent in place, he was taken to radiology.
“Do you think he’ll need to have an angiogram?” Kiah asked as the three doctors followed the patient. “If so, I’ll have to call in the chief radiologist, who’s off today.”
Mina shook her head. “I’m reasonably sure any vascular damage will be slight, just from the position of the spear, and his ankle/brachial index is well above danger level. There’s also no signs the femur was damaged, but we’ll find out for sure after the X-rays.”
And to her satisfaction, she was correct, although there was no way to know absolutely what they’d find when the spear was removed. In cases like this one, the embedded projectile put pressure on the wound from the inside, often staunching bleeding from damaged veins and arteries. It was only when that pressure was released that they’d know for sure what needed to be repaired.
At the last minute, she balked at going into the operating room.
“The wound tract looks clear,” she whispered to Kiah. “Some moderate hematomas to be evacuated. There’s nothing special I can add to the surgery, and I’ll just be taking up space.”
“I’m letting John do the surgery,” he replied. “We’ll both supervise. But if anything unusual does come up, I want you there to make sure we do the best we can for the patient.”
When she started to object, Kiah held up his hand, stopping her midsentence.
“Donovan Exeter is twenty-five, Mina. Still a young man, hopefully with a lot of years ahead of him. The least we can do is ensure he has full use of his leg, not take the chance he’s maimed because of a silly accident like this one.”
Mina turned away so he couldn’t see the gleam of tears in her eyes. What he said was right, and hit home with a blow straight to her heart. No one should have their life, or livelihood, curtailed because of an accident.
“Okay,” she said, proud when her voice came out normal, not strained or trembling. “I’ll go scrub in. And I have to figure out what to do with this damn stump. I can’t wear a glove on it, and the sock isn’t sterile.”
The last part came out fierce and strong, annoyance sweeping the last of her uncertainty away, and giving her a new, albeit strange, problem to focus on.
“Hey,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll work it out, okay?”
“Sure. Sure,” she muttered, stalking off toward the surgical ward, feeling his hand fall away, although the sensation of the pressure and comfort it afforded lingered.
Kiah watched for Mina to come into the scrubbing area, and when she stepped through the doors, already capped, masked and wearing disposable booties, her body language spoke volumes. Here was a woman who wished herself anywhere but where she was.
He was about to go to offer her help with scrubbing in, when a nurse stepped to Mina’s side and said, “Can I assist you, Dr. Haraldson?”
“Please,” Mina replied, her tone cool and controlled. “And thank you.”
The nurse put on her nonsterile apron and then did a thorough job of scrubbing her hand and arm.
Kiah paused on his way into the gowning area and said, “I’ll gown up, then help you with yours.”
“Thank you.”
Anyone who didn’t know her would think her response merely polite, but Kiah wasn’t fooled. Mina was hating every moment of the situation. She was one of the most self-sufficient and capable people he knew, and having to let someone else help her do something that had become second nature for her must sting.
It was all he could do not to send her a sympathetic glance, but he restrained himself. One hint of kindly concern would just make her even more annoyed and self-conscious.
Yet, for all his worry, she handled the gowning and gloving better than he’d expected, telling the nurse to let her try opening the gown and putting it on herself.
“After all, I’m going to have to get used to doing this, aren’t I? In an emergency, no one has time to be fiddling around, helping me.”
With an expert flick of her hand, she got the gown partially open and stuck her left arm in. Then Kiah held his breath, watching from the corner of his eye as she used that arm to shake the fabric, trying to get the right armhole open.
“There,” she said as she pushed her right arm in, and she might as well have danced a jig, too, she sounded so elated. “That worked better than I expected.”
“Me, too,” he admitted, sending her a grin, which, although hidden behind his mask, was probably unmistakable. Once the nurse had tied the gown, he said, “Now for the gloves. Have you decided how to handle them?”
“As usual,” she said, the challenge in her voice unmistakable. “I’m not operating, so the floppy fingers won’t matter, and my forearm and gown should keep it on.”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” he replied, and was rewarded with a distinct glare from her already flashing brown eyes.
Then they were joined by John Golding, and once he had scrubbed in, they entered the operating room.
Mina had been right about the extent of the injuries, and when the spear was removed, there was little work to be done, except for the evacuation of the clots.
“Watch his blood pressure,” Mina told the anesthesiologist. “That would be one of the first signs that we missed vascular damage.”
Kiah was enchanted, watching her in theater for the first time. As soon as she’d stepped through the door, all signs of self-consciousness or annoyance disappeared, and she was all business. Yet, in spite of being the specialist, she let John set the pace, only answering his questions, not telling him what to do unless he asked.
And despite Kiah’s best intentions, his determination not to cut her any slack because he felt sorry for her, his heart ached, knowing that from now on, hers would be only a supporting role.
It made him want to rage, to bargain with God, to cry. He’d give his own hand if she could have hers back.
“Great job, Dr. Golding,” Mina said as the young doctor was applying the negative pressure bandage. “You’ve got good hands.”
John looked up, his eyes gleaming. “And thank you, Dr. Haraldson, for guiding me so expertly.”
By the time they met up again, once more in street clothes, Mina looked a totally different person. Euphoric. Grinning.
“That went well,” she said as they headed for the car. “There were a couple of times I wanted to grab the instruments and do it myself, but it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.”
“Is this where I get to say I told you so? Because you know I’ll be all over that,” Kiah responded, earning himself a swat on his arm.
“Don’t you dare.”
“You’re a natural-born teacher,” he said. “I didn’t realize how good until I saw you in action.”
Mina shrugged. “I’ve never had a problem instructing others. I guess that’s why Toronto South asked if I’d consider staying on as a lecturer. I said no, because I couldn’t fathom not having my own practice, or being unable to operate anymore.”
Shock brought Kiah to a halt. “They offered to have you stay on, and you refused?”
Mina kept walking, not even looking back as she replied, “Yep. Couldn’t see it happening.”
But she probably could now, Kiah realized, his heart sinking at the thought of her leaving even sooner than he expected she would.