Dear Alice,

I am supposed to tell you that I am very sorry that I read your diary.

Like I told Ms Fennel, it wasn’t really my fault. Actually, it was sort of your fault for leaving it in the school library in the first place. I just thought it was a book about echidnas, since it had a picture of a baby echidna on the cover.

Anyway, I’m sorry I read it because it was not good.

Yours unhappily,

Captain Jimmy Cook