Dear Alice,

Writing to each other for a whole term does kind of suck. But the things you wrote about me in your diary were VERY mean and that’s why you’re in trouble too For the record:


1. My captain’s hat is not fake. It came from a real sea captain I met once at a supermarket.

2. I actually did discover a new planet (at least I’m pretty sure I did).

3. I don’t have a tail.

Yours in protest,

Captain Jimmy Cook