Dear Ms Fennel and Mr Shufflebottom and the whole school and everyone who was at the fete,

We, Alice Toolie and Jimmy Cook (also known as Captain Jimmy Cook but really not an actual captain, just a boy with a weird hat), are really sorry for what happened yesterday at the fete :( We did not mean to cause that big disaster that sort of ruined the fete. It was very lucky that the emergency service was already there doing those very interesting demonstrations about snake bites, bandaging and how to remove ticks. If they hadn’t been there already, things really could have gotten a lot worse! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

But just so everyone knows, the disaster wasn’t EXACTLY our fault, but it was sort of but not totally, and it was a little bit MORE Jimmy’s fault than mine, but anyway… that’s not important.

Everything was going so well before the disaster. The Mystery Jar stall was soooo popular, and I’m not boasting or anything but it was probably the most popular stand there! Everyone loved the unicorn slime. Ava Tonkatsu was so happy that she got the purple and sweet green sparkle slime that smelled like apple pies and totally matched her spray-painted hair! And Conrad really wanted the slime with all the little plastic army men, and he got that too! And then Shirley Bucket was luckiest of all because she got soooo rich when she got the treasure slime with the Ancient Egyptian necklace. BUT Jenny Philpot was not so lucky when she got the jar of haunted cheese porridge slime and released the ghost of the Level 2 toilets that basically destroyed the fete.

The truth is that we didn’t know we had accidently wrapped up the jar of haunted cheese-porridge and put it in the stall! It was an easy mistake to make because it turns out that haunted cheese porridge looks EXACTLY like slime! But it is also true that we did smuggle the ghost jar out of the craft cupboard and instead of putting it aside, it must have got mixed up with the rest of the jars. I know Ms Fennel told us to leave the ghost jar alone after she abducted it, but ghosts have rights too, and it’s not really fair to leave a ghost locked up forever.

Anyway, we also didn’t know that since the ghost had been locked up, it had created that terrible haunted cheesy stench in the jar! I guess while being cooped up in Ms Fennel’s cupboard for so long, it probably had time to get cross!

And the stench it made was SOOOOOOO bad and totally haunted. It’s not Jenny Philpot’s fault that she released the stench. She just thought it was a new kind of slime… which is sort of understandable because I am famous for making new cool slimes. Well, this was not a cool slime—it was a stinking horrible pong that was totally stuck on her and WOULD NOT COME OFF.

So then Jenny Philpot was screaming and threw it, and Maisy P accidently caught it, and then she passed it to Maisy D who passed it on to the Borridge twins, then Mr Shufflebottom came over to see what the fuss was, but by then all of the massive long line of people wanting Mystery Unicorn Slime had touched the haunted stench slime and got haunted stench on them! That’s when Mr Shufflebottom confiscated it and that was NOT a good idea, because the stench was on him too and then one of the dogs that was part of the dog show just leapt up and grabbed it and all the other dogs (including Emperor Fluffy Pants!) went totally wild for it and that’s when one of the dogs put a hole in the plastic swimming pool filled with all those plastic rubber duckies that you’re supposed to fish out with a magnet! And that’s what flooded the playground.

So I’m really REALLY REALLY sorry, and so is Jimmy. We didn’t mean to destroy the fete and get eternal stench on everyone. We just wanted to rescue our ghost. But there is some good news —a silver lining to this big dark rain cloud… we made about $173 for the school from slime and the ghost is gone (since the dogs sort of ate it)! Although some of the dogs might be a bit haunted now…

Yours troolie,

Alice Toolie