As a famous explorer, I’m always on the lookout to learn new things. One time, I taught myself how to do all these ancient knots and even invented a whole new kind of knot that I called the topsy-turvy-doublespike-goldfish knot. It’s basically the hardest knot to untangle in the whole world. Anyway, even that wasn’t as hard as writing you about a million letters. But the thing is, even though we really don’t have much in common, there are heaps of things that we’re both really good at. Even though our stall was a disaster, it was also really awesome, and even though the ghost just turned out to be a preschooler with short legs singing in the toilet, we still saved the school from what could have been a really bad haunting. So, thanks, Alice Toolie. It’s been nice knowing you.
Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got some really important explorer stuff to get back to. For example, I saw the maintenance man trying to clean those ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs off the playground this morning, and I really need to stop him.
Yours intrepidly,
Captain Jimmy Cook