I should’ve paid closer attention.
Should’ve seen something that could’ve saved Gus.
Instead, I hovered helplessly by and let Raiden snuff the life out of him.
After all the sacrifices Gus made.
All the suffering he endured.
I failed him.
And then . . . I breathed in his gift.
I didn’t want to.
But Gus chose me.
His final message said, To make sure you keep fighting.
So I inhaled the power and let it settle into my essence, just like the day I breathed in my father’s gift.
A tiny piece of him to cling to.
But it will never be enough.
And I will never be worthy.
Aston returns from the forest with empty arms and an empty stare, and I can’t bring myself to ask what he did with the body.
“I know you’re not going to believe this,” he says, turning his face to the stormy sky. “But there was nothing you could’ve done to change this. Your friend was lost the second Raiden tied that draft around his neck. I would know. That’s how Raiden broke me.”
He pulls back his cloak and points to the holes lining his shoulder.
“I made it through twenty-nine days of torture. But on the thirtieth, Raiden threatened to bind me with a suicide draft. I knew that meant I’d never be able to leave. So I gave in to the power of pain to save my neck—literally.”
Vane pulls me closer when I shiver.
“Why didn’t Gus tell us?” Vane asks.
“He probably didn’t know. Raiden bound Gus to break you.” Aston’s eyes focus on me. “I’m sure he expected there would be some sort of escape or rescue, and he wanted to ensure you’d regret it.”
“I do,” I whisper.
But there are questions that go with that—questions I can’t seem to hide from.
Would I have stayed if I’d known?
Would I have remained in that dungeon?
Sent Vane and Solana away and stayed at Raiden’s mercy?
I know what the answers should be, but . . . I don’t know.
“It’s okay,” Vane says, brushing tears off my cheeks. “I’m here.”
He is.
And I don’t deserve him.
I don’t deserve anything.
“I see the war you’re fighting,” Aston tells me. “Don’t let Raiden win. Take your freedom and use it to resist him.”
“I’m going to do more than resist him,” Vane says.
“Hm. I believe you,” Aston says. “Though you realize that comes with challenges.”
“I don’t care—there has to be a way to do it.”
I know what they’re discussing.
I know it’s my cue to be strong and join them. That’s what Gus is counting on. He wants me to keep fighting.
But I can’t help whispering, “Raiden always wins.”
“Not always,” a new voice says, and my blood boils when I realize it’s my mother.
“How would you know?” I shout. “Do you think you beat him just because you refused to be his queen?”
“Wait—what?” Vane asks as my mother blanches.
By the time she answers, her voice is as smooth as ever, and I want to claw her eyes out. “I wondered if he’d tell you.”
“Is that why you’re here?” I ask. “To figure out how many of your secrets I uncovered?”
“No. I came to help my daughter.”
“Help me? YOU LET RAIDEN TAKE ME!”
I tear away from Vane, grabbing my mother by her shoulders. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? What he did to me?”
Vane’s strangled choke makes me regret the words, but it’s too late to take them back.
“Stay away from me,” I tell my mother. “I’ve had enough of your help.”
I only mean to shove her away.
But I’m not used to my new strength.
My mother flies backward, crashing into one of the trees with a crunch that sounds like breaking bone.
I don’t check to see how badly she’s hurt.
I don’t wonder about the red that splatters the snow.
I let Vane wrap his arms around me and lead me away, telling myself I’m finally free of her.