CHAPTER 15

 

As we drive through the night, the icicles in my stomach multiply with every passing minute. I try to keep my mind off what is ahead, glaring out of the window to avoid looking at Jed. Soft Christmas music plays on the radio. When the song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” comes on, I bite back the tears. There won’t be any holiday cheer for me—not this year.

A few times, Jed’s eyes fall upon me. “You okay, honeybun?”

The nerve to even ask that question. I choose to ignore him, though I would have liked to flip him the finger.

When we get to the highway, he heads north.

“Where’re you taking me?” Once again, I’m stunned by the calmness in my voice, so contrary to the raging fear that chills every fiber of my body.

“Tacoma Lakes. It’s real pretty up there.”

It’s a popular vacation spot just north of Lewiston, maybe about a forty-five minute ride from Stonehenge. The area consists of five lakes, connected by small water passages, which are surrounded by nothing but dense woods and swamps. In the wintertime, it is totally deserted since most of the cabins are not suitable for all-year occupation. It will be a tough place to escape from.

Roy took the family up there a few times when I was younger to go canoeing. We barbecued on the shore and roasted marshmallows by the fire. The entire waterfront is private, but his brothers own a couple of houses up there where we spent a few long weekends on Jimmy Pond. Fond memories—soon to be replaced by new, horrific ones.

Jed turns up the heat in the van. Usually, the humming of an engine puts me right to sleep, but tonight, my heavy heartbeat thumping painfully against my rib cage keeps me awake.

“You comfortable?” Jed asks.

I don’t want to think about it and refuse to respond.

He takes his right hand off the steering wheel. It lands on my thigh. I go rigid, but he doesn’t stop there. Caressing the inside of my leg, his fingers move toward my crotch until my own hands stop him.

“Don’t.”

He exhales with a huff. “I told you to behave. Don’t make me stop this car and tie you up. I swear you’ll regret it.”

When I turn my head to look at him, my vision is blurred from my tears. “Please, Jed.”

“What did you expect? Did you think we’d all just have a Christmas ham and go home? Come on, honeybun. Just don’t fight it.”

Of course I knew that coerced sex would be on the program, but I had hoped that I would at least have a few days to adjust. This would’ve given me time to come up with an escape plan, or at least, provide me with an opportunity to mentally prepare myself for what is to come. Yet I doubt that anyone can ever prepare themselves for rape.

Luckily, he doesn’t start again and we continue our ride in silence. The highway has been cleared from the snow, but he still drives well below the speed limit. Luke told me once that cops are on the lookout for any unusual behavior and cautious drivers are flagged since they are often drunk. When the siren wails behind us, I’m not even surprised.

Jed shoots me a warning look. “One wrong word and Hallie is dead.” He pulls over in the breakdown lane with the trooper right behind him. Fumbling in the glove compartment for his paperwork, he lowers the window at the same time to talk to the officer who is cautiously approaching.

“Good evening, sir.” The trooper tips the rim of his wide-brimmed hat when his eyes fall on me. “Ma’am.”

“What’s the problem, officer?” Jed asks, his fingers tapping the steering wheel. “I know I wasn’t speeding.”

“You swerved back there,” the trooper claims. “Could I see your license and registration?”

Jed hands him the required documents.

The trooper inspects them closely. “Have you been drinking tonight?”

“No, sir.” Jed gives him a winning smile as he grabs my hand, squeezing it gently. “My girlfriend is not twenty-one yet, so we don’t do that stuff.”

I stare ahead, afraid that the cop will notice the unrest which is spreading in my body like wildfire. If Jed gets arrested, Napoleon will kill Hallie. I have to stay calm and not show panic, yet my right eye twitches the way it usually does when I’m anxious. My chest tightens under the growing tension. I suck in a deep breath to relax. An anxiety attack is the last thing I need.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” The trooper must have been watching me closely.

I finally turn to him with a wide smile. “Yes. Everything’s fine.”

He wrinkles his forehead, but his attention focuses back on Jed. “Where’re you heading?”

Jed is thrown off for just a second. “To Bangor to visit my aunt for the holidays. She just lost my uncle and is all alone.”

The trooper’s face softens—he’s actually buying Jed’s bullshit story. “Well, that’s nice. It’s rare these days that young kids like yourself still worry about family.” He hands Jed his license and registration and tips his hat again. “Have a safe journey and Merry Christmas.” With that, he turns back to his own car.

Jed closes the window and chuckles. “What an idiot. Did you see his face? He almost cried when I told him that crap about my aunt. Old people really crack me up.”

I couldn't help but giggle in a high-pitched tone the way I sometimes do when I'm really nervous. He does have a point, although the trooper wasn’t that old—maybe in his early fifties like Roy.

He takes my laughter as a sign of comfort and squeezes my hand again. “You know, honeybun, if you hadn’t dated Justin, I would’ve probably asked you out. You and I would’ve made a great couple.” His eyes find mine and deep longing pools within them.

For the first time I realize how lonely he must be.

“You can be great fun and are really smart,” he continues. “Too bad we didn’t get to know each other under different circumstances.”

I break eye contact by staring out the passenger side window. His words totally creep me out. “That was your choice, Jed. You didn’t have to kidnap me.”

He starts up the car. “That was actually Napoleon’s idea. I just tagged along for the fun.”

I glance at him; this is my big opportunity. He seems in a chatty mood and might spill the beans. “Who is he? Napoleon, I mean.”

A small smile twitches on his lips as he pulls back onto the highway. “Oh, it’s someone you know.”

I figured that much. “Is it Drake?”

“Maybe.” He laughs softly. “Who else do you think?”

“Dunno.” There has always been one suspect on my mind, but it is just too gruesome to imagine. “Justin perhaps.”

The suspicion first formed during the aftermath. After my rescue, Justin was distant, like he didn’t care if I was safe or not. All he wanted was to score with me, and he refused to accept that I couldn’t stand being touched. When he broke it off, he even told me that he didn’t understand my problem. I wasn’t a virgin any longer, so sex shouldn’t be a big deal. His words hurt me to the core and made me feel totally worthless.

Jed’s eyes stay fixed on the road. “Interesting guess. What makes you think that?”

I search his face for some kind of sign which would confirm my hunch, but he doesn’t even flinch. “Well, he told my brother and all the other guys that I was a total prude and that he couldn’t wait to take my V-card. Maybe he took matters into his own hands to speed things up.”

The smile is back on Jed’s lips. “Interesting. I’m surprised your brother let him get away with it, being your big protector and all.”

Luke had been furious and put him in his place. “He gave him a black eye.”

Jed snorts. “That’s your brother all right.” His jaw is clenched so tightly that his teeth are grinding together. “There’s just one problem with your theory. I absolutely hate Justin’s guts. What makes you think I would even give him the time of day, let alone kidnap a girl with him? He sent his fucking dog after me and almost killed me.”

This has always been the flaw in my premise, but not to a point where it has erased my suspicion. “Desperate times make for the strangest allies. Look at World War II when Roosevelt joined forces with Stalin. It happens.”

There is an amused twinkle in his eyes. “You do know your history. That’s certainly something you and Napoleon have in common.”

“So is that a yes?”

“You know, there’s someone else you haven’t considered.”

I frown. “Oh yeah. Who’s that?”

“Your new friend, Finn.”

“Finn didn’t even live in Stonehenge when you kidnapped me.”

“True.” I can tell he’s having fun with this. “But he and his brother visited their uncle in the summer all the time, even came up here during some of the other school vacations and on long weekends. Finn and I used to work in Andrew’s shop together, fixing up old cars.”

I gasp.

There’s triumph on his face. “I guess he forgot to mention that little detail.”

For a moment, I’m totally thrown off course. I recall the conversations I had with Finn about my ordeal. He genuinely seemed shocked and appalled. There’s no way this could have all been an act.

“If he was Napoleon, why would he beat you up?” I counter, convinced of Finn’s innocence.

Jed even has an answer to that. “It could’ve been a diversion.” When I go rigid, he adds: “I mean, I’m not saying it’s Finn. All I wanted to show you is that Napoleon could be anybody. Since he’ll never reveal his true identity, you’ll never know.”

The fact that I will likely never have closure brings new tears to my eyes. As long as Napoleon is a mystery to me, I will never 100 percent trust a guy.

“He’s just a coward,” I mutter, my voice slightly trembling.

“Don’t be upset, honeybun.” Jed’s fingers brush my cheek. “This was supposed to be a fun game.”

I recoil under his touch. “You know what, Jed? You’re just a total pervert. I hate you.”

His hand withdraws as he chuckles. “Don’t be a party pooper, or this will turn into your worst nightmare yet. I’ll torture you again like the last time. The dog leash is still around and I can dig up plenty of crawly things around the lake.” There is a cruel smirk on his lips. “Napoleon also has some pretty crazy ideas of his own. After we’re through with you, you’re gonna stay at that loony bin till you’re old and wrinkly, so be good.”

His threat hangs over the car like an angry storm cloud. My stomach turns into a solid knot. Suppressing the rising tears, I glare out of the window, my hands balled to the tightest fists. My fingernails cut into my palms, leaving a sharp pain behind which keeps me halfway sane.

I will survive this! It is a statement I repeat over and over in my mind to drown out the incredible fear that is attempting to bubble to the surface. Deep down, I know that this time, there’s a good chance they will kill me. It has always been hanging over my head during my first abduction, knowing that Jed wouldn’t have revealed his identity if he wanted to let me go. Only Napoleon’s continued secrecy had put me at ease, though I’m still not sure if I wasn’t lying to myself.

When I gaze at Jed, who is humming to the Christmas song like he’s trying to get into the holiday spirit, my anger seethes. He doesn’t deserve to be happy; as a matter of fact, he doesn’t even deserve to live. My torment will never stop unless he is dead. In a moment of total insanity, my hands ball to fists. I’m ready to take a swing at him until the rational part of my brain takes back over. We are in a moving car, driving close to fifty miles an hour. If I lunge at him and he loses control of the van, we will both die. On top of that, Napoleon will kill Hallie. No, for the moment, gritting my teeth and playing his game is all I can do.

I lean back and close my eyes, controlling my breath to calm my nerves. We continue to drive through the night. He leaves the highway at the Sabattus exit, actually passing the hospital before turning onto Route 197 toward Tacoma Lakes. He turns onto a bumpy dirt road, which is narrow and fully covered by snow that crunches under the tires. Hanging tree branches curve across like a solid roof, robbing me of the sight of the pale winter moon.

In a curve, the van swerves to the right, but Jed gets it back under control before he hits a snowbank. A short while later, he speeds down a gentle slope, coming to a halt at the end of the road.

A log cabin lies in the moonlight. The property borders on one side with the lake, but is otherwise only surrounded by trees. It’s rather small with an elevated deck out front that faces the water. It’s a typical summer holiday home. I wonder whether the owners know that their vacation paradise is used in the commission of several felonies.

Jed ushers me up the wobbly steps that lead to the deck. With a welcoming gesture, he holds the front door open for me. “Home sweet home, honeybun. I hope you like it.”

The place is actually quite cozy and quaint. A light scent of pine emits from the wood paneling that covers the walls all the way up to the cathedral ceiling. Large windows open up to the deck and the lake; the view in the daytime must be stunning.

A fire is crackling in the open fireplace and the cabin holds the heat well. It’s almost roasting. The whole downstairs is an open floor plan. I can see the kitchen out back to the right and part of a bedroom through a cracked door on the left. A set of stairs leads to a landing and another room upstairs.

“Where’s Hallie?” I hiss, hugging my arms around my chest.

He points at the landing. “She’s up there.” Invitingly, his arm swings toward the sofa. “Come on, get comfortable. I’ll get you a drink. What would you like?”

“Well, I don’t believe you.” I glare at him. “If she’s here, I want to see her. You swore you’d let her go.”

His laugh is vicious this time. “Well, I lied. She ain’t going anywhere and you can say hello in the morning. For now, she’s asleep. Napoleon knocked her out when he left.”

I can’t believe I was that gullible. “If you don’t let her go, I will—” The sentence hangs unfinished in the air. There are not really any believable threats I can make.

“You’ll do what?” His voice is full of amusement.

“I’ll kill you,” I blurt out. The words sound like a joke even to my ears. Who am I fooling? I don’t have a weapon, but even if I did, he is a championship boxer who can fight off any attack without even breaking a sweat.

His eyes darken before he slaps me hard across the face. “You’ll behave, or I swear I’ll take it out on Hallie.” His finger points at the sofa. “Now sit your ass down before I drag her downstairs and pop her cherry right in front of you.”

My body shakes uncontrollably when I lower myself onto the couch while Jed disappears in the kitchen. The metallic taste of blood is in my mouth. My cheek stings like hell, but the pain is nothing compared to the dull ache drilling into my heart like an auger. How could I have been so stupid to ever believe him? I should have known better.

Stifling heat chokes me, but I’m shivering from cold sweat at the same time. My chest is so tight that I can barely breathe. The rapid pounding of my heart drowns out every other sound in the room as tears begin to fall. I bury my face in my hands, focusing on my breathing.

Don’t lose it, I tell myself. Not in front of Jed.

When I look up, he’s right in front of me, watching me intently. A steaming cup of tea is in his hand, which he places on the table right in front of me. “You can sleep on the couch tonight since I’m exhausted. The door is locked with a deadbolt and all the windows are nailed shut, so there’s no way out.” He sets a razor blade right next to the tea. “Here, in case you want to feel better. The bathroom is to the left of the kitchen. Sleep tight, honeybun.”

After the bedroom door closes behind him, my fingers run over the razor blade. Maybe once he’s asleep, I can take him out. If he disarms me again, there will be serious repercussions, not just for me, but Hallie as well. It might be my best option to end this ordeal quickly, though. When the key to the bedroom door turns, my shoulders slump. So much for that idea.

An incredible pain washes over me, which robs me of my breath. The razor blade is teasing me, the urge to find a quick relief overpowering. Just one more time will give me strength. Trying to battle the growing urge, I replay Reggie’s words during the last group session before the break. It takes courage to fight the addiction. I want to be courageous so badly, but my newfound strength is dwindling. I just want to go to sleep without the pain.

Ten minutes later, I give up the fight. With my back against the wall, I slide onto the bathroom floor after making three quick parallel cuts in my forearm. The searing pain from the red rain spilling from my veins lulls me into a total sense of oblivion. With a deep sigh, I indulge in the hot and cold flashes, and for just one brief moment, I forget all the things that keep me from breathing without the pain.