CHAPTER 7

 

For once, I keep my promise to Luke and see the psychologist the next day to make a therapy plan.

He insists on completing our first one-on-one session straight away during which we go through the basics but stop before we reach the abduction. Afterward, he also gets me to agree to daily group counseling sessions, luckily not to start until the next morning.

My mom had dropped off a couple of new books and I get lost on Mars in a new dystopian novel while getting comfortable in the shade on the grass. All afternoon, I keep an eye on the garden, but there is no sign of Finn or his truck. I had hoped to talk to him again. He’s the first person who gets exactly how I feel. He also made me laugh, which happens so rarely these days.

A sting of confusion mixes with disappointment—why am I even interested in spending any time with him? Bad boys are usually not my thing, and just because he confessed to cutting himself in the past doesn’t make him trustworthy. We had a good time in the garden, but there is nothing special about him that would warrant me getting to know him any better. Luke is probably right—Finn will be trouble in the long run.

My brooding is interrupted when my brother appears with my coffee and a wide grin. He must have talked to the psychologist to confirm my compliance.

“I’m proud of you, sis,” he says, kissing my forehead. “You’ll see, if you work hard, you’ll be out of this place in no time.”

I grimace at the thought of having to endure all this therapy, yet the smell of the coffee makes today’s efforts worthwhile. He asked for an extra shot of caramel and the cream melts on my tongue while I slowly sip my treat. There might be girls who kill for chocolate, but my soft spot has always been flavored lattes.

“How was your day?” I ask when he continues to beam at me. He’s practically exploding to share some news.

He lifts up an envelope. “Got my LSAT results today.”

My heart plummets into my stomach. Judging from his good mood, he must have done well on the standardized test required for admission to law school, which means he will leave Maine as soon as he graduates next summer. Harvard, Columbia, and Yale Law were all previously discussed and are still within driving range, but I know that Luke favors Stanford. He could just as well be going to Mars—as soon as he moves to California, he will be out of my life. I’d be lucky if he comes home once a year for Christmas.

“And?” My finger runs over the rim of the Starbucks cup so I don’t have to look at him.

“One seventy-four.”

The excitement in his voice makes me cringe. I should be happy for him, but instead I’m fighting with my tears.

“I spoke to the admissions counselor at Stanford today and the average score is one seventy-two,” he carries on. “Together with my four-point-oh average, I have a really good chance to be admitted.”

A treacherous tear lands in the coffee.

“Kels?”

I ignore him.

“Kels, look at me.”

With a clenched jaw, I shake my head. Any eye contact and I will totally lose it.

He catches my chin and forces my head in his direction. The valves open; my tears begin to flow like a waterfall. He pulls me against his shoulder, stroking my hair without a word. He knows what’s going on. We have always understood each other without the need for words.

“I’m sorry, Luke,” I say between sobs and hiccups. “I know I should be happy, but I’m just so scared to be alone. You’re the only one I’ve got.”

His leaving Maine had once before been on the table just after my abduction, when Roy insisted that Luke attend Penn State, his alma mater. Only after I threw tantrums and cried many tears did he give in and allow Luke to attend the University of Southern Maine in Portland instead. I was thrilled, though I have always known that it was just prolonging the inevitable. Since he was a child, Luke has wanted to move away. In his opinion, small places like Stonehenge are suffocating.

He continues to stroke my hair until the tears finally subside, yet my face stays buried in the comfort of his chest.

“You know, sis, you could always come with me to California.”

I chuckle with bitterness. “My mom would never allow it.”

“It’s still a full year and you’re only a few classes shy of your high-school diploma. You could easily get your GED and enroll in a community college when you get there.”

I finally leave the comfort of his embrace and gaze at him with big eyes. “What about money?”

“You could apply for financial aid or get a part-time job. Besides, my dad will pay for an apartment and we’d be roomies. Your mom might even chip in if she sees that you’re really trying. It could be a new start and might be good for you.”

The idea, which sounded outrageous just moments ago, is slowly growing on me. “You really think I could do it?”

A small smile softens his face. “You can do anything you put your mind to, Kels. All you have to do is stop being the victim.”

“You know, Finn said something similar.”

His eyes narrow. “Finn?”

“Yeah. He stopped by my room last night and told me I should fight to take back my life.”

“When was that? I was here the whole time.”

My smile is crooked. “It was after you left.”

He clicks his tongue, anger burning in his eyes, but he doesn’t comment.

“You know, he has been through a lot and is really not as bad as you think.”

His fingers massage his forehead the way they usually do when he tries to break bad news to me. “I really didn’t want to tell you this, but there’s a lot more to his conviction. He not only almost killed a guy by beating him with a baseball bat, but he also raped his little brother. That guy is sick, Kels, and you need to stay away from him.”

My eyebrows knit together. “That’s not what he told me. He said his mother’s boyfriend molested him and his brother.”

“All I know is that he pled guilty to attempted murder and sexual assault. My dad found out because he’s required to register under the Sex Offenders Act. He lied to you, Kels, probably because it’s a challenge for him to get you in the sack. He’s not your friend and you really should be careful.”

Everything inside me is numb. How could I have been so mistaken about Finn? Like a fool, I spooned up his bullshit without even questioning it once. His story didn’t fit his behavior at all—he is a desperate show-off and troublemaker and God only knows how he got those cuts on his leg.

Yet a part of me can’t believe my instincts could have betrayed me. There is something genuine about him, like the pain reflected in his eyes. The same pain looks back at me in the mirror and I don’t think anyone could fake that. Maybe there is a logical explanation for all of this. Finn deserves that I at least listen to his side of the story before passing judgment.

For the rest of Luke’s visit, I pretend to listen to his detailed account of the new Jurassic World movie without soaking up even one word. My mind continues to be with Finn. Since he is the only one who can answer those tough questions, I plan on confronting him about his crimes the next time I see him.

 

~~~~

 

My next encounter with Finn is much sooner than expected and in a manner I never imagined. I’m already in bed with my lights off when a thump almost makes my heart jump out of my chest. I pull the covers over my head.

Another thump, a little louder. I squeal softly, cuddling further in the dark comfort of my bed. My heart beats so loudly in my ears, at twice its usual speed, that I almost miss the whistle. Another thump follows, making the glass of the window vibrate. I finally realize that these are the efforts of someone trying to make contact with me.

I slide out of bed and toddle over to the window. Moving the curtains aside, I peek outside. Finn is crouched next to his truck, his features obscured by the surreal light of dusk. I tear the window open and am just about ready to give him a piece of my mind for scaring me when he cups his hand over his mouth to silence me. He flails about, pointing at the building from time to time. My forehead wrinkles in a frown—what does he want from me? I have no idea what his secret Navy Seal type message means.

He continues on, whirling his arms around, until it finally dawns on me that he wants me to come downstairs and meet him at the side door. For a moment, I hesitate, but then give into my curiosity. Who knows when I will see him again? The only way to put my mind at ease is to face him and get to the bottom of things. What better place is there than a secured mental health facility with plenty of people around who will hear my screams if he tries to pull me into his truck?

I’m about to go down in my night robe, but it is quite short and exposes too much of my legs. It could give him the idea that I am interested. I slide into my jeans and one of the airy summer tops my mom recently bought me. A critical look into the mirror and my hands pull my ruffled hair into a messy bun. In the last moment, I have the urge to apply some lip gloss, though it’s totally silly. It’s just Finn, for crying out loud, and I am not exactly planning on going on a date with him.

I tiptoe downstairs, careful not to draw anyone’s attention to me. The hospital is quiet; just the voices of some television show hum in the distance. My watch reads not even ten o’clock. In a way, this 9:00 p.m. curfew for the residents is ridiculous. Even at fourteen, I was allowed to stay out longer during the summer.

When I get to the side door, I rattle on the doorknob until the door is shoved open.

“Shh, be quiet,” Finn hisses. “You’re going to alert the nurses.”

“So?” I glare at him. “What do you want?”

“I’m taking you out.”

“Out where?”

“Out to Portland, silly. I thought this would cheer you up.”

My arms fold in front of my chest. “I’m not going anywhere with you until you’ve answered some questions.” I give him my best evil stare to underline my words.

He hops from one foot to the other. “Can we please talk about that in the truck? I’m not working today, and if they find me here, they’ll probably call the cops.”

I shouldn’t—I don’t even know him. He could even be a serial killer at heart. “How do I know you’re not trying to rape me?”

That gets a chuckle out of him. “Kelsey, please.” He pushes his chest out with his hands on his waist, his muscles flexing under his tight shirt. “Do I look like a man who needs to trick a girl into having sex with him?”

He has a point. I know at least a dozen girls in Stonehenge who would gladly spread their legs for him if he appeared on their doorsteps tonight. The town is full of horny teens on the lookout for the next bad boy to sweep them off their feet.

For a second, Luke’s disapproving scowl flashes in my mind—he clearly told me to stay away from Finn. Yet he also said I needed to stop being a victim. Not being afraid all the time would be a good start. So far, Finn has been nothing but supportive and I haven’t had a reason to doubt his sincerity.

“Okay, but if I don’t like what you tell me, you have to take me back immediately.”

He nudges me. “Deal.”

I follow him to his truck, my heart racing all of a sudden. This is so wrong but exciting at the same time. My mom would have a hissy fit if she knew I was leaving the hospital and my dad would probably spank me despite my age. He has always had a quick temper—one of the reasons my mom divorced him. He has also never gotten along with Luke and calls him a “smug ass,” so Finn will definitely not meet his approval. If we are caught, we both will be in a boatload of trouble.

Finn doesn’t open the door for me, and I slide in after giving him a nasty look.

He shrugs. “Hey—you’re not my girlfriend. Don’t expect the royal treatment, especially after implying there won’t be any sex.”

I stick my tongue out with a giggle. “You’re such an ass.”

He bows before starting the engine.

Still laughing as he takes off, I’m tempted to roll down the window and just scream into the growing darkness, but this could seriously sabotage our escape. To my surprise, he swerves off the main driveway just behind the building, taking a dirt road toward the lake. I bump up and down while he seems to drive through every possible pothole. When he glances at me with a sparkle in his eyes, I realize he is doing it on purpose.

“Stop that. I’m getting sick.”

He smirks. “I’m trying to knock some sense into you.”

I try to shoot daggers his way, but my eyes probably betray me, showing him just how much I am enjoying myself. We continue in silence while my fingers clutch the seatbelt. I hope that, at least, I won’t bump my head. The truck carries us alongside the fence until we finally get to a small gate. He jumps out and opens it, fumbling for a lock on the backseat as soon as we are on the other side. After he secures the gate, we are on our way. The truck makes a sharp turn onto the main road toward Lewiston.

“What was that all about back there with the gate?”

“Well . . .” A sheepish smile crawls on his lips. “I didn’t want to take the main entrance and had to kind of pick the lock.”

My jaw drops. “Isn’t that breaking and entering?”

“Since I’m not intending to steal anything, it’s only trespassing.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s still a crime.”

“Yeah, but only a misdemeanor.” He smiles at me. “Don’t worry, they won’t put you in jail for a first offense.”

“That’s comforting.”

He turns on the radio. Rap music with lots of profanities fills the truck. When I send him a scolding frown, he turns the volume down. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

My smile is crooked as I ponder how to best approach this delicate situation without totally spoiling the mood. Yet there is no easy way to say it. “My brother told me that you were also convicted of sexual assault.”

His body tenses while his eyes stay fixed on the road. “That’s right.”

A chill runs through me. He is a sexual predator. I want to jump out of the truck and run.

His hands grip the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white. “But it’s not what you think. When all this stuff happened with my mom’s boyfriend, he claimed that I was the one who molested my brother. Bastard swore he walked in on us and that’s why I beat him, though it was the other way around. My brother was totally intimidated and feared for his life, so when the police questioned him, he didn’t tell them the truth.”

“Then why didn’t you take it to trial?”

“I could have and even had a good public defender, but they would’ve tried me as an adult. With the attempted murder charge, I was looking at life. I didn’t want to take that chance.”

I squint at him. “So you just pled guilty?”

“I did beat him up and almost killed him, so that charge was going to stick no matter what. They offered me a juvenile conviction in delinquency lockup until I was nineteen and two years’ probation afterward if I pled to both charges. It was the best deal I could have gotten. After my release, my mom didn’t want me, but luckily, my uncle took me in and I was able to transfer my probation. That’s how I ended up here.”

There is a huge lump in my throat when I gaze at him. His jaw is clenched and his eyes glisten with tears. “It must have been hard, losing your family like that.” His mother is either really dumb or a total bitch.

Wetness glistens in his eyes. “I couldn’t care less about my mom. She has never given me the time of day, so I didn’t really expect any different. What really gets me is that my brother is still living with them and that asshole is probably raping him day in and day out like he did me. He’s only thirteen.”

I can’t even imagine what he must be going through. “What’s your brother’s name?”

“Cameron.” He wipes his cheeks with his sleeve. “I swear, once I’m off probation, I’ll go back and get him out of there, but for now, there’s nothing I can do. It’s driving me nuts.”

There is again this pain in his eyes when he glances at me. I’m sure he’s telling the truth; there’s no way that anyone could act that convincingly.

“What about your uncle? Can’t he petition for custody now?”

“He could if he believed me.” Finn sighs. “At the moment, he’s still trying to figure things out. So far, my mom has always sided with her boyfriend and claims I’m full of crap, so he doesn’t know what to believe.”

I want to comfort him but am lost for words. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

He nods. “Let’s just forget about all this—just for tonight. No more talk about Jed, my brother, or anyone else. It’s just you and me having a good time out of town, like two regular teens.” His eyes are pleading. “Let’s go dancing. Would you like that?”

I haven’t been to a club in years. “Yeah, but there’s one problem. It’s Thursday and there’re no underage discos open.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “I was talking about a real club, not some kiddie party.”

I already have an idea where this conversation is going, but with one last-ditch effort, I try to hold on to my moral turpitude. “Last time I checked, you had to be twenty-one to get in.”

The smile gets wider. “You’re in luck. A friend of mine sells the best fake IDs in the state for only twenty bucks.”

When our eyes interlock, it is settled. There’s no stopping us now.