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When Brody went to the house to grab some water, Sarah was grateful for the moment to sit her tired body down. She wasn’t lazy, but she used muscles today she didn’t even know she had. She was sore and although slightly tired, it felt great.
When she sat down, she saw the flash of fur and couldn’t help her excitement at seeing the cat coming toward her and trusting her. She was lost in her own murmurs to the cat and the ones that followed, until she was completely lost in the purrs and meows surrounding her. Putting her at ease, each one of those precious creatures brushed against her, loved up on her, trusted her, and made her feel more put back together.
When Brody approached her with the water, she was more relaxed than she’d been in a long time, and she smiled for the first time in what felt like years. She smiled the first smile of relief, happiness, and peace. Did she have a long way to go? Hell yes, but she now knew that she had it in her to start over. Not just for Bella, but for herself. She deserved it.
When Brody reached his hand out to her, she took it and he pulled her up with a strength she didn’t know, and she stumbled hard into his chest.
“Umfh,” was what came out as she hit him, and Brody smiled down at her as she raised her face to his.
“You’re much lighter than I thought, little Phoenix.” Brody winked at her, righted her on her feet, and told her to wait there.
He moved off to the other barn and Sarah was trying to tamp down her heartbeat. She couldn’t hide her smile if she wanted to. This place was magic. It was beautiful here, and quiet. Tonight, if she could still walk, she promised herself she’d take a walk and enjoy the peace surrounding her.
Brody came back in a golf cart on steroids. The thing was huge, with a cart behind it, and equipment she imagined was to fix any fencing that needed repairs. He stopped beside her and said, “Hop in.”
She did and they were off driving around the fence line, stopping here and there for him to get out and test the fence. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, it was to explain something about what he was doing, why, and showing her the property line and the vision Will saw for the future.
The whole trip took them a bit over an hour and that put them just about to the lunch hour. Brody pulled the cart up to the barn again where they had started, and she saw a piece of equipment in front of the barn that wasn’t there before they left so she figured Will had come back to eat.
When she got out of the cart, she said to Brody, “I’m going to go up to the house and check on Bella and make some lunch, is that okay?”
Brody nodded to her and said, “I’m going to check on Will, then head up to eat.”
Sarah took off toward the house and was anxious to see how Bella behaved. She was hoping that she was at least kind, but hoped that Bella would find her sweetness here on the farm. There was a time that Bella would snuggle and cuddle with her and she wished for that time back. She missed her daughter. The girl that she’d been around over the past few years, especially the last few months, was not the daughter she raised, but hopefully this trip and time away would help heal her as well.
As Sarah approached the house, she saw Bella kneeling around the front of the house pulling weeds and talking with Allie. She stopped for a moment and heard Bella laugh and for that moment in time, Sarah knew everything would be okay. Maybe not today, nor tomorrow, but someday....
Sarah approached and said, “Hey ladies. Looks nice.” Bella looked up at her and let a half smile break out before she wrinkled her nose and said, “Mom, you stink.”
Allie and Sarah laughed. Sarah moved toward her daughter and patted her head, “Yes, I do and it’s great. It’s a sign of hard work.”
Bella wrinkled her nose and said, “No, it’s a sign of gross.”
Sarah laughed at her daughter and said, “Where’s Johnny?”
Allie groaned and said, “I love that boy, but he’s as challenging as his father. Thankfully, this little one is a miracle worker and got him to fall asleep and take a nap so we could girl talk and work.”
Sarah was disappointed that there was girl talk without her. She wanted Bella to confide in her. But she was grateful that she was at least talking.
Sarah let her disappointment show momentarily, and she knew Allie saw it. So, she shook it off and said, “I’m going to go wash up and make some lunch. You ladies hungry?”
Bella smiled, “Starving.”
Allie got up and said, “I’ll help while Bella finishes up this section, then she can clean up and eat. Okay, Bella?”
Sarah watched while her daughter nodded and went back to work. She was impressed and surprised by the change. As they walked into the house, Sarah said, “Did I just walk into an alternate reality, because if I did, I’m staying.”
Allie grinned at her and said, “No. But I did get to talk to her. I told her how I miss my mom every day. I lost her around the age that Bella is now, and I wish I had more time with her. We kind of connected. I told her how hard it was growing up with a father who didn’t ever seem to want me, and she told me her daddy wants her, but he’s always working. She also told me that she didn’t like the stern way Will had talked to her. It scared her. I explained to her that he was raised very strictly and that the way she was treating you and speaking to you went against everything that he was taught. I told her I would tell him to try not to get so upset, but Bella surprised me by hanging her head and saying that she was being mean to you and thinks she deserved it.”
Sarah gasped in surprise. “Wow. What have you done with my child?”
Allie raised her hands up. “Don’t be too surprised yet. She has a lot to work through. I believe being scolded and sent to her room last night really made her think though.”
Sarah nodded. “I’m the only one who ever scolded her or punished her. Ted never did. Toward the end of Ted and I, even scolding her didn’t work, because Ted never stood behind my discipline.”
The women worked to put together sandwiches for the men and some sweet tea that Allie said Will and Brody loved. She showed her how to make it and they had a fresh batch sitting in the fridge to chill for dinner. Sarah also got some steaks out for dinner to thaw, and she hoped that would make up for the small lunch today. Tomorrow she would try to plan better meals, but Allie assured her the sandwiches were fine because Will didn’t always come in from the fields. He did today because he needed to check on some things.
She heard the door open and close and knew someone had come in to wash up, then heard the men laughing. She wondered why Bella didn’t come in and then she heard Will say we should eat on the porch, no sense wasting a beautiful day. Then the door opened and closed again.
Allie and she put the food on trays and got ready to carry them out front. When she got close to the door, she heard Bella say, “I’m sorry I was mean to my mom.”
Will’s voice then said, “Did you apologize to her?”
Bella said, “Not yet. I’m going to. But I wanted you to know that my mom is a good person. She taught me manners, I just sometimes forget them, and I know I was not nice yesterday. You scared me a little because I was never talked to that way by my dad, but I know I deserved it.”
Allie put her hand on Sarah’s arm and squeezed.
Will spoke up and said, “I didn’t want to speak to you that way, but I was raised to not speak that way to my parents and I just couldn’t let you talk to your mom that way. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Can we be friends, Bella?”
Sarah heard a surprised, Oh, and when she moved to open the door to see what was happening, she saw her daughter hugging Will and his surprised face, but he did hug her back. This is what she needs. She needs the discipline and the love.
When Bella heard the door open, she pulled away from Will and nodded as she wiped her eyes, then headed inside to wash her hands.
Sarah looked at Will with shock and Will smiled at her, “All is good. She’s going to be fine, Sarah. You both will.”
Sarah couldn’t believe her daughter’s turnabout. “That must have been some talk today, Allie.”
Allie smiled and said, “Honestly, it was. It did us both some good.”
Sarah looked up and met Brody’s eyes for a moment and she smiled. Maybe things are finally going Sarah’s way.
Later that night, when Will and Allie left and Brody had gone out one last time to check the animals, Sarah took a walk out to the barn and around the side of it. She stood in a clearing and just looked out over the fields. She watched the sun as it was slowly disappearing off in the distance and she held her face up into the light breeze that was blowing.
Bella had helped Sarah clean up the dishes after dinner. She entertained Johnny until Will and Allie were ready to leave. After they left and before Sarah took her walk, Bella told her mother that she was sorry for being mean to her. She told her that she was sorry she blamed her, but she knows she’s just as upset as she is about Daddy leaving them. She hugged her daughter and thanked her for the apology, kissed her head and said, “Bella, I don’t want you to be angry with me. I don’t want us to have a strained relationship. I don’t have my mother, and to be honest, I miss not having her. But it was her choice to turn me away, much as it was your father’s. I will never beg anyone to be a part of my life. If they don’t want to be, then that is their choice. I hope you never chose to not want to be a part of my life, because sweetheart, you are my life. I love you.”
Bella cried as she hugged her mother and then she told her she could go have a snack and she would be back in a few minutes, she needed a few minutes to herself. Bella nodded and moved off to the kitchen, but before Sarah went out the front door, Bella stopped her and said, “Mom, I love you, too.” Sarah choked back the lump in her throat, turned to smile at her daughter, then took off for her walk.
Standing there remembering their talk and feeling at peace made Sarah realize that it was now her time. Her time to live again, not time to hide and wait for life to happen. It was time for her to reach for something for herself. Make her dreams come true. But in all honesty, her dream had always centered around Ted, a family, and just being a mom. Now it was time to refocus and find herself. Time to give herself some respect, love, and confidence.
