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Brody and Sarah spent time in the hotel loving one another and talking about what they wanted. They would stay in Sarah’s house until they worked out all the details with Max and until the person Will and Allie hired was fully trained. Brody didn’t promise Sarah that he wouldn’t have to go help out after Allie had the baby, because they were family to him and he needed to be there for them, but he did promise her that he would always come back to her and that she was home for him.
When they went to Miranda and Rod’s and Bella saw Brody, she lost it. She threw herself at Brody and cried while he held her in his arms and assured her that he was going to be here for them both. They drove around town and Bella and Sarah pointed out their favorite places and Brody smiled the first real smile he had in a long time. He had his girls by his side, and nothing made him happier.
They went to Max and Taryn’s place, and Max and Brody walked around the land talking about the plans they had briefly discussed, they were both looking forward to working together.
“You know I’m taking a lot of shit from my brother, stealing his farm hand and friend away.” Max said laughing.
Brody smiled, “Yeah, he’s not happy I’m leaving, but he knows that I have to. My family, my heart, and my world are here.”
Max laughed and said, “You’re terrified of Miranda, aren’t you? That’s why you’re moving here.”
The two men laughed, and Brody said, “Is she always so scary? I mean, I was a Marine, and she makes me shake in my boots a little.”
Max laughed and said, “Her brother is an ex-Navy Seal, and he’s afraid of her too.” The two men laughed and then Max said, “This is a great town and these people, Josie, Mike, Sarah, Miranda, Rod, Arianna, Trae, and my sweet Taryn, are a family. The best family I’ve ever had. Even Ted. He’s part of them, part of us. Will you be able to handle that?”
Brody looked at Max and shrugged. “I hope so. It won’t be easy at first, but Ted walked away. Sarah chose me. I plan on marrying her, but I’m not going to rush her. When she’s ready, I’ll make it official, but not until then. Once we have our home and I’m not going back and forth, I’ll make it official, but I’m making my intentions known.”
Max nodded. “Good. Sarah deserves happiness. I believe that you are that happiness for her, so welcome to the family.” Max reached out a hand and when Brody took it, they pulled together in that man hug thing guys always did, and then they headed back to the house to see what the ladies were up to.
The day Brody had to leave tore him up. He hated leaving his girls, but he knew this would be temporary. Bella handled it better than expected, and Sarah, well, she clung to Brody all night wishing the morning wouldn’t come.
“Sarah. It’s a couple of days and then you and Bella are coming to the farm for the weekend. If she didn’t have school, I’d take you both with me, but I’m not going to upset her life for a few months, just to shuffle her from this school to that school. We’ll be fine. You’ll hardly miss me, Phoenix.”
Sarah cried, “Yes, I will.”
Brody laughed, then pulled her close, “I’ll call you and make you cum for me, baby. I promise.” Brody pulled back and Sarah met his eyes, as they both laughed.
Brody hit the road and made it back to the farm to meet with Will, Allie, and Blake. Blake was the man that Will and Allie seemed to like. He made Allie feel comfortable and he had great references. Brody was going to take him through some of the things around the barn and see how it went. He had a busy day ahead of him and just what he needed to keep his mind off his heart back at home.
********
It was hard for Sarah watching Brody pull out and leaving. But she knew that he’d be back. She knew now that they would make this work. Last night in bed, Brody held her and he told her, “You know I’m going to marry you. One day, when you’re ready, when we have our home, you and Bella are going to be mine, officially.”
Sarah smiled at the memory. Brody was a special man. He never left Bella out of things. He always included her. They were a family.
Today was going to be a hard day, because she was going to be seeing Ted. He called last night while Bella, Brody, and she were having dinner, saying he wanted to see her. Not Bella, her. Brody wasn’t happy about it, but his only words were, “You know I love you. I don’t like that he’s coming here to see you, but he’s Bella’s father and I won’t interfere. But I told you before, if he messes with us, there will be a problem. Now that you are mine, I won’t back down to him.”
Sarah didn’t know what he could possibly want, but it was time to face off and move on. While she waited for him to arrive, she sat and worked on her story. She wasn’t sure how to make a go of things, but she was writing, and she loved it. Bella had left for school before Brody left, allowing them some private time together before he left. They got a bit carried away and Brody ended up leaving later than he had planned, but he left smiling.
Sarah couldn’t help but smile thinking about Brody, and then her doorbell rang. She answered the door and let Ted come in. When she opened the door and he walked in, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Sarah pulled back and said, “Ted-”
Ted moved away from her and apologized. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I, oh hell, Sarah, I can’t help it. I still love you. I always will. It’s instinct to want to give you a kiss.”
Sarah looked at him and said, “Stop. If you’re here to try and get me back, just don’t. Brody and I are together, Ted. I know you think I moved on too quickly, but honestly, you’ve been gone from me a long time. You gave up on me, on us, long before you told me you wanted a divorce. We’ve been over for years, Ted. So, I didn’t move on quickly. I held on for all those years, thinking I could make it work. Now, I realize I was holding on for all the wrong reasons.”
Ted shook his head, “Do you still love me, Sarah?”
“No, Ted. A part of me will hold love in my heart for you as the father of my children, but I’m not in love with you. I love Brody.”
Ted moved into the house and sat down on one of the chairs in the living room. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I shouldn’t be here. But I had to know. I figured since I wasn’t invited to your birthday party Miranda threw, that it was over, but-”
Sarah moved in front of him. “Ted, it was over long before that. This is what you wanted. You filed for the divorce. You walked out on me again.”
Ted shot to his feet and looked her in the eyes. “It was never what I truly wanted. I just saw that I wasn’t making you happy, so I did what I thought was best for you. I left for you.”
Sarah shook her head no. “No, Ted. This was all for you. I don’t understand what is going on here, but I think it’s best that you go. If you want to talk about Bella, or there’s a problem with Bella, then we’ll talk, but otherwise-”
Ted held up his hands and moved away from her, “Say no more. I’m leaving. I love you, Sarah. I always will and I’m sorry.”
********
Ted walked away, again. He went to the Heartbreak Bar and took a seat at the bar. When Mike approached him, and asked if he was okay, Ted only shook his head no, and ordered a jack and coke.
Mike moved away and let him to his own thoughts. Only halfway through his drink, Rod showed up and sat next to him.
“What are you doing here? You’re not a drinker, Ted. What’s going on?”
Ted shook his head and said, “The one thing that was good in my life. The one thing that was right, and I threw it away.”
Rod didn’t say anything, he just waited.
“No matter what, I did what I thought was best for her. I did it all because I loved her. I know no one understands, but,” Ted met Rod’s eyes and he said, “you have to believe that. I never wanted to hurt her. Hell, I never wanted to fall in love with her. She was too good for me.”
“I never had someone love me the way she did. She opened her heart to me. She loved me when I couldn’t love myself. She never stopped loving me, even after,” Ted hung his head, “even after I threw her out of my apartment and broke her heart. Do you know she never was with anyone? That whole time, she never dated, she never slept with another man. I was it. I was the only one.”
“She devoted her life and her heart to me, and I threw it away.”
Rod finally couldn’t keep quiet, “Why? Tell me why, Ted, because obviously, you still love her. You still want her, so why didn’t you fight for her?”
“Because I knew. I knew the night I met her that she deserved better than me. I didn’t deserve to be loved like that. Hell, my own parents didn’t love me. I didn’t have a loving family life. Did you know, no, you didn’t know, Sarah didn’t either, but I was a product of rape. My mother was raped and got pregnant. She couldn’t get an abortion and she wanted to give me away, but my father insisted that they kept me. Why, I’ll never know, because he hated me. He left us.”
“Jesus, Ted. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Rod saw the anguish on Ted’s face.
“Because I didn’t want pity. I didn’t want to be thought less of or be judged by anyone. I was judged enough by my own parents, and hell, they couldn’t even look at me without disgust, so why would I think anyone else could.”
Rod put a hand on Ted’s shoulder and said, “Ted, you are not to blame. Your parents were wrong for treating you that way. You were an innocent. If they couldn’t face the truth of your conception, they should have given you away to give you a chance. Why did you never tell Sarah? She would have helped you.”
“No. She never knows. Promise me you tell no one.”
Rod nodded his agreement.
“When I got Sarah pregnant, I should have handled it differently. Maybe if I had, things would have been different, but I wanted better for my son. I wanted better than what I had. He deserved a better life. One where he was loved.”
“But you could have loved him, Ted. What the hell?”
“No. Look what I did to Bella. I spoiled her. I gave her whatever she wanted, just so she’d love me. I needed to be loved. Trent was my blood, and he would have to love me. But then Trent was killed. Before he left, I met up with him. We had an argument. I never told anyone.”
Rod ran his hand over his face, “Fuck.”
Ted took a sip of his drink and then continued. “I told him I was his father. I wanted him to know, in case, well, you know. But when I told him, he got angry. He told me I was a sorry excuse for a father, and his mother deserved better. He told me he deserved better. He was right.”
Rod gasped, “He was hurt, Ted. He didn’t mean it.”
Ted nodded. “I know. He apologized. He told me he was sorry, he didn’t mean it, but it doesn’t matter. It was the truth. They both deserved better, and as the years moved on, and even after Bella was born, I realized, they did deserve better. I didn’t deserve any of them, any more than I deserved to even take a breath. I shouldn’t be here, Rod. I should be floating in the sewage system. I never deserved to take one breath here on this earth. I should have been aborted.”
Rod squeezed his shoulder, “No, Ted. Think of all the good you have done. Think of all the things that would have happened had you not been here. You are a good man, you deserve happiness, just as much as the next person. There was a reason you were placed on this earth. You have a purpose, Ted. You’re my best friend, man. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.”
Ted shook his head. “No, man, you would have been just fine. I’ll never regret Sarah or my kids, but I’ll always regret not being able to really believe I deserved them.”
Rod looked at Ted and said, “What’s really going on here? What are you not saying? Because you are talking like you’re leaving.”
Ted nodded, “I am. I need you to make sure they’re okay.”
Rod stood up and said, “No! You need to make sure they’re okay. You can’t just leave again. This will destroy Bella.”
Ted looked at his friend and said, “I can’t stay. I’m leaving the force, and I’m leaving town. I can’t stay here, Rod. I’m dying.”
Rod’s head whipped around, and he shook it in disbelief. “No. NO!”
Ted nodded. “I’m going to go to a treatment facility in California. I don’t want to stay here and let everyone watch me. I need to do this alone. I need some shred of dignity, and I didn’t and still don’t, want Sarah to know. I don’t want her staying with me out of some guilt. I need her to be happy, and she seems happy.”
“Ted, I can’t let you do this alone. You’re my best friend. Damn it! You can’t ask this of me. Miranda is a doctor, she can help. You can get treatment here. You can, we can all be here for you. You deserve our help, and we deserve to be a part of your life. Ted, please don’t shut us out. I’m begging you, man.” Rod broke, even though they were at the bar, he broke. He cried for his friend, and he cried for the people who loved him.
Mike approached them and said, “Why don’t you guys take this to the back.”
Ted nodded, and the two stood and walked to the back room of the bar. Before Mike left them there, he said, “I’m sorry I eavesdropped, but Ted, Rod is right. Don’t do this. Let us help you. We love you, man.”
Ted finally broke, he fell to the ground and cried. Mike and Rod fell beside him and held on to him. “Please, man, just let us be there for you. We’ll sit down and we’ll all talk about it together. We’re your family. We love you.”
Ted relented and said, “One condition. Sarah cannot feel guilty. I won’t have her be with me out of guilt. I believe Brody will be good for her and Bella. I can’t interfere with that. As much as I love her, I can’t-”
“I promise you, Ted. I promise if you stay and let us help you, Sarah will continue her life with Brody, but I can’t promise you that she won’t be by your side, too.”
Ted nodded and said, “Give me a week to sort some things through. Then we’ll tell everyone, and I want Brody there, but not Bella.”
Mike and Rod agreed, then Ted left.
Rod was angry and knew he needed to pull it together. “Not a word, Mike, not until he’s ready.”
Mike nodded his agreement, and Rod left to sort his head too.
