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I bought a pleated miniskirt, a silk scarf, and a chunky wooden bracelet at Missy Hart. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to wear any of it, since I was pretty sure my soul would rot out from the guilt.
After we went shopping, we stopped by Starbucks and Danielle bought us each an iced coffee. We sipped at our drinks and gossiped on the ride to my house. Danielle didn’t ask for directions. She knew from Matilda that I lived next door to Wayne.
Even through the guilt, I was so relieved that the shopping invitation hadn’t turned out to be a cruel joke. I was beaming when I came home and found my mom waiting in the living room, sitting on the couch with her arms and legs crossed.
“Chloe stopped by,” she said.
“Oh?” I stopped slurping on my latte.
“I thought you were shopping with her.” She looked down at my Missy Hart bag.
“No, I went with Danielle.”
“Danielle? Danielle Adams? Wasn’t that one of Matilda Hunt’s friends?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I shrugged.
“Also, Chloe says that she’s going to Chicago with her parents this weekend for some big art exhibit. I thought you said you two were going to see a movie?” Crap.
“Did I say Chloe? I meant Danielle.” I chewed on the straw of my drink, hoping I didn’t look as guilty as I felt.
My mom unfolded her arms and sighed. “Are you and Chloe doing okay? She seemed tense. Do you want to talk about it?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s just jealous that I’m making new friends.” It was a realistic enough excuse. I hoped.
“Maybe you should do something special with her, so she doesn’t feel like she’s being left behind.”
That was my mom, the Yoda of motherhood. She always had the right answer. Sometimes she felt like a June Cleaver carbon copy. I don’t think she meant to be. I’d seen pictures of her college years. She had been a wild Joan Jett groupie with choppy, blue-streaked hair. I think she had been going to school to be a psychologist, but she dropped out after she met my dad. He was finishing up an accounting internship at the bank where she had taken out a loan for a lemon of a car. They still joked about the seedy car salesman who sent her his way.
They were married in less than a year, and they had me less than a year after that. Somewhere along the way, they morphed into the typical suburban parents. They never exceeded the speed limit, they paid their taxes, and they flossed. If they had something more exciting than that going on in their lives, it was lost on me.
“That’s a good idea, Mom. I’ll think about it.” I gave her a smile and headed up to my room.
Matilda sprang out of my closet once I closed the door. “Where the hell have you been? Is that Starbucks? Is that a Missy Hart bag? Did you know that stupid art geek friend of yours stopped by? She was in your room. I had to hold the closet door closed to keep her out.”
“What?” I set my drink down and tossed the shopping bag on my bed. “What was she doing here?”
Matilda folded her arms. “You tell me. She was snooping around like she was looking for something.”
I looked around and thought really hard about what Chloe would have been doing in my room. My first thought was the sketchbook. I threw back my pillows in a panic, and my chest tightened when it wasn’t there.
“Looking for this?” Matilda held up the sketchbook with a laugh. “I can’t believe you actually told someone else about this. I mean, it’s beyond creepy. Do you really think this is what she was after?”
I sucked in a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what else she would have been looking for.” I took another look around the room, and my eyes froze on the vanity mirror. There in Matilda’s bright red lipstick and Chloe’s sharp handwriting was written the word TRAITOR.
I couldn’t believe it. Chloe had really gone off the deep end. Any trace of guilt I had for dodging her was suddenly gone. At least I wouldn’t have to pretend I wasn’t friends with her now.
Matilda picked up the spent tube of lipstick and huffed. “Well, that was twenty bucks well spent.” Then she smiled. “I guess you’re putting on quite the show, especially if your own best friend is convinced.”
“She’s not my best friend. Not anymore,” I said.
Matilda peeked inside the Missy Hart bag. “Danielle took you shopping?”
“You really have them figured out, don’t you?”
“Denise would have taken you to Yvette’s. It’s way pricier. Danielle likes to pretend that she steals her mom’s credit cards, but she has an allowance on it. She goes to Missy Hart to make it last longer.” Well, at least I didn’t have to feel guilty about my new purchases. “But don’t let on that you know,” Matilda added. “She likes the bad girl illusion. She won’t be happy if you burst her bubble.”
I nodded.
“Danielle is a good start. Denise will be harder to impress. You’ll have to work on her.”
“Well,” I grinned, “Danielle told me that she’s been snubbing Mitch Brown’s advances for a while now.”
“Typical.”
“She also says that he’s planning on asking me out.”
Matilda laughed. “She probably made that up.”
“I don’t know. He did compliment my hair today, and he stopped by my lunch table again, too.”
“Hmmmm.” She rolled her head from side to side, cracking her neck far more than it should have cracked if she were still living. “I imagine you told her that you were going to turn him down, seeing as how you have an imaginary college boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that I have a date with Friday.”
“What exactly do you plan to do about that, by the way? I mean, you can’t stay home. What if Wayne decides to go to that party and Mitch comes to pick him up? If you’re spotted at home, your story will be completely blown.”
“I know.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “I told my mom that I was going to the movies with Danielle. I have the car for the night and everything.”
Matilda sighed and plopped down on the bed next to me. “Man, don’t you know anyone?”
I thought about it for a minute. “Yeah, maybe I do.”
My cousin Benny was as gay as gay could be. Our dads were brothers, but his dad, my uncle Bill, was still stuck in the seventies. He and his wife owned a music store, and they had seven children. Benny was the oldest. They had been completely loving and supportive when Benny had revealed his big gay secret, which really wasn’t much of a secret. They were hippies, and they were all about freedom of expression, peace, and love.
Benny hated it. He had been hoping for some tragic eighties montage, and instead, he got a Woodstock cheerleading squad. When he graduated, he immediately moved out and enrolled in theater school. He was twenty-two now and about to graduate. He wrote to me every few months about his escapades and starring roles, and he gushed on and on about his big Broadway dreams. I knew I was grasping at straws, but he was my only option.
I clicked open my cell phone and dialed his number before I lost my nerve.
“Disneyland. Prince Charming speaking. How may I make your dreams come true?”
“Benny?”
“Janie? Oh my god, girl. How are you?”
“Good.” I laughed. “You sound like you’re doing alright too. We missed you at Christmas.”
“Mmmm. I know, but we had such a big turnout for our winter production, and I got to direct this time! Oh, you should have seen the man meat I got to boss around back stage.”
“Wow. That sounds exciting.”
“So what’s going on, cupcake? I mean, I’d like to flatter myself and assume you’re just calling to catch up, but something in your voice tells me otherwise.”
I sighed. “I need a really big favor.”
“Does it involve boys?”
“Sort of,” I laughed nervously.
“Well, let’s have it, sugar.”
“What do you have going on Friday night?”
By the time it was all said and done, Benny had agreed to drive to Jasper and pick me up in a rented convertible. We were going to go to a fancy restaurant, though not Cleopatra’s, even though he really wanted to. Then we were going to drive around town and try to be seen by as many people as possible. He even promised not to flirt with any “man meat” while he was in town. Wayne had met Benny a time or two before, but Benny was certain that he could pull off a mystery man act by putting his stage makeup and costume expertise to work.
Matilda was staring at me with her wide fishy eyes when I hung up. “That was brilliant,” she said in a soft, eerie voice. “You would have made an excellent D.”
“Whatever.” I blushed in spite of myself.
I had spent too long chattering with Benny, and I hadn’t left any time to do my homework before dinner. My dad called me downstairs, and Matilda stood and started to wipe away the lipstick on my mirror with a tissue. “Do you eat dinner with your family every night?” she asked.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Must be nice.”
I paused at my door. “Are you, you know, hungry... for anything?”
She turned to glare at me. “I’m not craving brains, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. Not entirely, anyway. Seriously though, aren’t you hungry? Should I sneak some casserole up for you or something?”
Matilda thought about it for a second. “I don’t really have an appetite at all. I don’t know why. I just don’t. Thanks anyway.” She smiled her creepy zombie smile at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“No problem.”
I called myself every name in the book on the way downstairs. Why on earth was I being nice to her? She was ruining my life. She was robbing me of my friends and of Wayne. She was staining my very soul with moral degradation. What was wrong with me?
I didn’t remember that I was still wearing makeup until I saw my dad’s face across the dinner table. “Well.” He cleared his throat. “That’s certainly a new look for you.”
I scooped some shepherd’s pie onto my plate and gave him a lopsided smile. “Thanks? I think.”
“Do you really think you need all of that to look pretty for the boys?”
“I’m not wearing it for the boys. Honest, Dad.”
“Then who are you wearing it for?” His brow crinkled up as he waited for my answer.
“I’m wearing it for myself. I think it looks cool.” And the zombie hiding out in my closet said I have to or she’s going to make sure I spend the rest of my days in psych ward.
“Well, okay, sweetie. It’s your face. Just so you know, I think you’re beautiful just the way you are.”
“Thanks, Dad.” It was easy not to snap at my parents when they picked at my new look. I just reminded myself that they had the power to ground me, and so I bit my tongue.
Chloe didn’t have that luxury. In fact, she didn’t have any ground to stand on at all now. I doubted the lipstick was going to be the last of her vengeance, but I was going to be ready for her tomorrow.
I finished my dinner and started on my homework as soon as Matilda left for the shed. I was a little queasy about being nice to her, but I just couldn’t help myself. I even loaned her a pillow. I justified it by telling myself that this was all part of my master plan to destroy her. Whatever that was.
The next morning, Matilda let me wear the pleated skirt I had bought with Danielle, but I had to save the scarf and the bracelet for a different day. She cut the neck out of one of my turtlenecks, turning it into an off-the-shoulder sweater that needed to be worn with a strapless bra. I didn’t have a strapless bra, but I did have a bandeau bikini top that I’d never been brave enough to actually wear to the pool. Matilda said it would work for now.
Matilda also had me change up the makeup a little, skipping the charcoal shadow for a dark blue that matched the skirt. I was feeling pretty good about myself when I walked into Jasper High, until I realized that the looks I was getting were mostly accompanied by snickering grins. Had my mascara streaked? Was my bikini top showing through my sweater in the florescent lights? I raced off to the bathroom before a panic attack set in.
I checked everything twice. I looked fine in the mirror, but I still wasn’t relieved. Something was off. I could feel it. The Ds burst through the bathroom door giggling that evil giggle of theirs that suggested treachery was underway.
I quit squinting into the mirror and dug a powder compact out of my bag. “Morning,” I said casually.
Danielle gave me an apologetic look, just as Denise cut in. “Good morning, Picasso.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah,” Denise folded her arms. “Chloe Martin showed us some of your recent work. Really, exceptional.” She giggled and gave me a double thumbs up.
If I hadn’t known that Matilda had my sketchbook, I might have actually been worried. “Chloe is an art geek, and she hates my guts. Use your brain for a change and figure that one out on your own.” I rolled my eyes and walked out of the bathroom looking like I didn’t have a care in the world. At least, I hoped that’s how I looked. Inside, I was shaking with anger. Chloe had been looking for my sketchbook, and when she hadn’t found it, she had forged my signature onto the bottom of who-knew-what.
I found out that everyone knew what, once I got to my locker and found the sketch taped to the door. It was an imitation of one of my Wayne prom drawings. Of course, it was more detailed and to scale than anything I had ever drawn. It was a more traditional scene than one of my visions too, though Chloe probably cared less about originality and more about sabotage at this point. She couldn’t risk the Ds not being able to make the connection. The crowns on mine and Wayne’s heads brought the prom scene to full light.
My stomach churned, but I managed a tight smile for the benefit of the hallway full of gawkers. I rolled my eyes and wadded the drawing up into a ball before dropping it to the floor. I fetched my English book out of my locker and headed to Mr. Hammond’s classroom.
To my surprise, Denise waved me over to an empty desk. I almost ignored her, but I was just too curious. I needed to know how badly Chloe’s little jab had set me back.
“Sit by me,” she said as the bell rang.
I shrugged and plopped down at the empty desk. Mitch gave me a wink from behind Denise. She caught it and curled her nose up at him before tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Pig.”
Mr. Hammond began class with a projection slideshow of grammatical rules that would be on our next test. With the lights dimmed down, Denise and I were able to whisper back and forth without getting caught.
“So, how are you going to get her back?” she asked.
“You’ll see.” I smiled the sort of smile I imagined Matilda did whenever she was plotting how to best humiliate me in public.
Chloe had crossed a line, and I had been taking bitch lessons from the queen. She wouldn’t expect me to come back with a vengeance. Boy, was she in for a surprise.
I couldn’t tell if Eddie and Wayne were still being awkwardly quiet or if I just didn’t notice as much with all the buzz going on in the lunchroom. Mitch didn’t just stop by our table today. He ate lunch with us, which in turn drew three cheerleaders and another jock to our table.
“That Chloe Martin really has it in for you,” Amanda Hughes said as she picked at her salad. “She told everyone in our first period class that you still wet the bed.”
“And she would know that how? You think I’d invite that freak over to my house?”
“She also said that you don’t really have a college boyfriend.”
“Well, it’s an awfully expensive restaurant I’m going to Friday. I sure hope it’s within my imaginary boyfriend’s budget,” I laughed.
The table conversations all seemed to circulate around Chloe’s backstabbing gossip. I wanted to be mad at her, but without realizing it, she had just expedited my climb to the top. It hadn’t been intentional though, so I refused to feel guilty for what I was about to do.
When the lunch bell rang, I left the cafeteria in a swarm of chattering people who probably hadn’t even known my name the week before. It was unnerving, but I smiled and laughed and went along with it. I lingered by my locker as long as I could, until the hall was mostly clear. Then, when no one was looking, I slipped back into the cafeteria.
As expected, the lunch ladies were nowhere to be found. I hurried back to my lunch table and pulled out a chair, using it to step up onto the table. Lancelot’s white horse was just within my reach. I grabbed its legs and ripped the mascot down from the ceiling.
I was awfully proud of myself for thinking this one up all on my own. I was going to pay Chloe back and remove the stigma of my lunch table all in one fell swoop. It was genius.
Lancelot was deflated just enough that I was able to wad him and his horse up into a tight ball. I peeked out in the hallway to make sure there were no witnesses standing by. Then I ran down to Chloe’s locker. We had swapped combinations earlier in the year so that we could use each other’s lockers if we needed to. I would definitely have to reset my combination before the end of the day.
I crammed the blowup mascot in her locker and ran to my algebra class, finding my desk just as the bell rang. Danielle gave me a funny look as I regained my breath, and I winked at her. There were some definite brownie points in my future.