Six Months Later
Elkanah stood at the door to Hannah’s house as men began to gather in the courtyard. His back to them, he faced Hannah, an exceeding sense of sorrow filling him. “Are you sure you will not come?”
Hannah crossed her arms over her chest as though warding off a chill. “I would be in the way. This is Peninnah’s wedding at her mother’s house. Do you really think they want your first wife among the attendants?”
He sighed, something he did often of late. “They would have no say in the matter. You belong to me, and it is my decision what becomes of this wedding.” He said it to make it so, but by her skeptical look, he knew he was simply trying to convince her without good cause. Everyone knew that women handled the wedding details. Men simply acquiesced to their desires.
“You know it is the bride’s day. Do you truly want to take this from her? To have her ever aware of your other wife when she is longing for her time alone with you?” She shook her head. “No, beloved. It was not an easy decision to make, but I am at peace with it.” She drew in a breath and let her arms fall to her sides. “Now go, or you will be late.”
He nodded, then stepped closer and gently kissed her. “You know I will be gone a week.”
“I know.”
He caught the hint of sorrow in her eyes and wanted in that moment to undo everything that had already been set in motion.
“Don’t worry about me, Elkanah. I have Dana and her family and plenty to do here. It is time I got used to living alone . . . at least part of the time.” She glanced past him. “Tahath is waiting for you.”
“You will not live alone nearly as much as you think, my love. I will be here so often you will want to be rid of me.” He said it to coax a smile, but her smile was sad, making him wish he could retract the words.
“I will miss you,” she said softly. “Do not let her make you forget me.” Her smile widened a little, and she stepped closer to touch his shoulder. “It will work out, Elkanah. You know we cannot stop it now. Perhaps this was the way God intended it.”
“I would like to agree with you, but somehow I do not think so.” God had never condoned polygamy, though their forefathers had practiced it.
Please, Adonai, don’t let my family end up as contentious as my forefathers.
“I love you,” he said, backing away from her.
“And I you.” She smiled again as he moved into the courtyard and joined his brothers and the men of the town who would accompany him to Peninnah’s mother’s house.
They jostled him and laughed as though he were a new groom, heading down to the river and over the stone bridge they had built to more easily access Yafa’s home. In the distance, he could see the lights ablaze in the courtyard and the house whitewashed and shining like freshly washed wool.
The crowd pushed him on, though his feet felt weighted and his heart along with them. The house drew nearer, and the virgins emerged carrying torches and singing songs of the bride’s beauty. Elkanah’s heart kicked over. He could never believe Peninnah nearly as beautiful as Hannah.
Oh Adonai, am I doing the right thing?
But he knew no answer would come, either to his mind or to his heart. He had made his choice, whether wise or foolish, and he would have to live with it now.
“Are you all right?” Tahath whispered, leaning close as they were nearly to the courtyard. “You look whiter than mountain snow.”
Elkanah met his brother’s concerned gaze. “I have never wanted anyone other than Hannah.”
Tahath placed a hand on his shoulder. “You are nervous. That is all. Trust me when I say this will be better in the long term. You will have your sons and our parents will be appeased.”
“While Hannah bears the brunt of all that is wrong with this situation?” His brows dipped in a disapproving scowl.
“Hannah will adjust. And you know you can choose which wife to spend the most time with. Once Peninnah conceives, your duty to her is done, so you can go and live with Hannah.” Tahath shrugged as if the whole thing was simple.
“You know things are never as easy as that.” He glanced at Tahath, then looked at the noisy crowd.
Tahath gave a slight nod, but before he could respond, the women noticed Elkanah and shouts of the groom’s arrival filled the air. He was ushered quickly into the house, knelt with his gifts at the bride’s feet, and sat with her on the wedding dais as the rest of the guests presented the bride with jewels and all manner of utensils and linens. One guest even gave her a goat, which caused him to force back a chuckle. One goat alone could not produce milk unless it mated and birthed a kid. But she could mate it with one from his flock. Perhaps that was the intent. To symbolize the joining together and the hope of producing, which had gotten him into this situation in the first place.
“Welcome, my son,” Yafa said once the feast was under way and she could pull away from the guests. “I trust you are enjoying the food and wine.” Her smile quivered the slightest bit. “I wish my Assir had been here to witness this day.” She gazed at Peninnah. “My child, may you bring much joy to this man’s house and many children to rest on his knee.”
“Thank you, Ima,” Peninnah said, her cheeks growing pink just above the veil. She turned to glance Elkanah’s way. “I hope I please you.”
It was Elkanah’s turn to feel heat crawl up his neck.
They had signed the ketubah at the betrothal six months before, but now the feast would last a week, and soon he would take Peninnah to the marriage tent. How would he possibly not think of Hannah while he held Peninnah in his arms?
“I am sure you will please me,” he said, knowing that the only thing he truly hoped for was that the girl was pleasant to Hannah.
Peninnah seemed not to notice that he meant anything other than what was said. She took a fresh fig from the tray passed to them and broke it apart, sharing some with him. The fruit was not nearly as sweet as the date he had shared with Hannah . . .
Would he never stop the comparisons?
A sigh lifted his chest. Peninnah noticed and looked at him, her expression clearly troubled. “Does something displease you, my lord?”
He shook his head. “No. Nothing.” What a liar you are, Elkanah.
She nodded and smiled. “I am honored to join your family,” she said above the cacophony of voices coming from men and women milling about the room and throughout the house. “I hope your first wife will accept me, as I know you love her. I know you are a man of integrity, and I watch the way you treat her. I hope I can expect the same . . .” Her voice trailed off, and her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink. It had cost her to say the words, but was that a challenge in her tone?
He gave her a slight nod, not certain how to respond to such a statement. How foolish of her to think that a man could love two women equally. She would have had a better chance at being loved by marrying a man who was hers alone. As it stood, he was trying desperately to tolerate this situation.
Why did he ever agree to this?
The question went unanswered even in his thoughts as drums began their distant chant from the outer court, and Peninnah looked at him, her eyes shining. It was time. There was no running away. Not with his mother watching him with a gleam of triumph and joy in her eyes.
He felt like a weight had settled in his middle, and he had to force himself to reach for Peninnah’s hand. It felt clammy, so unlike Hannah’s had been that first night.
“Come,” he said, pulling her to her feet.
The crowd cheered as he led her through the house and into the yard, where a white bridal tent stood waiting for them. A tent that had seemed like glory when he married Hannah but now looked more like gloom this second time around.
Oh Adonai, why couldn’t You have blessed Hannah with children? Why did I end up in this place?
But he knew he would never understand or receive the answers he craved, so he led Peninnah beneath the curtains and let the drums drown out the sounds of everything they said and did. He felt as though every action was perfunctory, every word prescribed.
When he emerged with the bridal sheet to give her mother, he could not help the guilt that fell over him that he had said little to Peninnah nor whispered loving words in her ear. He had not asked her questions or tried to get to know her better as he had with Hannah. He had simply done what all men did in the bridal tent. He hadn’t meant to leave Peninnah in tears.