Chapter 13

I’m back at the agency, walking down the hall past Nick’s office. Dewey’s in there, talking away. Margot’s further down the corridor at the Xerox machine. I hear Frank on the phone in the distance telling some client to fuck off. Margot appears in my office with a photo of Joey, her Mynah bird. He’s in his yellow coffin, claws crossed. “He was the best friend I ever had, Sam,” she says and starts to cry.

I wake up feeling terrible. I must have groaned because Mary tells me to go back to sleep. I close my eyes, but I keep thinking about Margot. The last time we were together, she said, “All I want to do now is Sudoku puzzles.” It’s her one true addiction. “Outside of my poor Joey,” she said. “Bless his little heart.”

When I wake up again, it’s morning, and I hear Muller in the bathtub. Judy is in the sunroom with the paper on her lap. Meek and Beek jump around nibbling at each other. Mary must be downstairs trying to straighten the frame on Muller’s cot. As I walk by the computer, I see Max filling in for Otis again. “. . . and that was Little Johnnie Taylor with ‘Honey Lou’ . . .”

“Hey, sweetie,” I say to Judy, kissing her on the forehead. “Do you know anything about Mynah birds?”

“Why Mynah birds?”

“Friend of mine lost hers a few years ago. We worked together for a long time. She was here at one of our Christmas parties. Do you remember Margot?”

“Aunt Margot?”

“That’s right, you used to call her Auntie Margot.”

“You told me to call her Auntie Margot.”

“I probably did.”

“She brought me a book of puzzles. She still alive?”

“We think so, sweetie. Hard to say. Thing is, Margot had her Mynah quite a few years—”

“She never shut up about it.”

“That’s true. People get like that sometimes. One day your mom and I will be eating through straws. Anyway, Auntie Margot is all alone now. I thought I’d buy her another Mynah.”

“That’s sweet, Daddy. Love birds are nicer, though.”

“I think Margot’s got a thing for Mynahs.”

“Okay. Do you want me to go with you to the pet store?”

“I’d like that. Where’s your mother?”

“Downstairs changing Muller’s sheets.”

“Why don’t you and I go to the store now? Give Mary and Muller a chance to bond.”

“That would be great, Daddy.”

“Could you get your love muffin out of the tub? Daddy wants to shave and brush his teeth.”

“Sure.”

She goes down the hall, knocking on the bathroom door. Muller comes out. “Washroom’s free, Daddy,” she calls out. Muller’s wet footprints are everywhere. I shave, brush my teeth, and step around Muller’s puddles. When I come out again, I find Mary in the kitchen. “I’m taking Judy to look for a Mynah bird,” I say.

“Why does she need a Mynah bird?”

“It’s not for her. I’m getting one for Margot. I had a dream about her last night. She lost Joey a few years ago.”

“That’s a sweet gesture, Sam.”

“You don’t mind me taking Judy, do you?”

“Of course not. She’s your daughter, for God’s sake.”

I hear Max on The Rec Room of Sound. He’s saying Otis is still in bed. “. . . I’ll be with you until he gets up. Here’s Percy Sledge’s ‘When a Man Loves a Woman,’ going out to my parents who kept me up half the night with their frickin’ noise. Thanks for that, folks.”

Judy is giggling in the bedroom.

“We won’t be long,” I say to Mary. “You’ll be okay here alone with the love muffin?” Mary swats me with a dishtowel. “Anything you need at the store?” I say.

“Oh, walnuts. Muller says he’s going to reveal the special ingredients of those brownies of his. What’s wrong? You went all pale there for a second. You’re not having another panic attack, are you?”

“No, no, I’m fine. You enjoy your day with Muller. Judy and I will get your walnuts.”

Judy comes out with her arm around Muller’s waist. His hair is plastered across his forehead. “Ready, Daddy,” she says. “Muller and Mom are making soufflé.”

“That’s nice, honey. Let’s go.”

She gives Muller a big sloppy kiss. “Bye, Big Bear,” she says to him.

“Off we go,” I say, pushing Judy out the door. “And, Muller,” I say. “Let’s not give away too many of your culinary secrets.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mary says.

“Just saying he shouldn’t give everything away. Every chef needs to leave a bit to the imagination.”

“Do you know what he’s talking about?” Mary asks Muller.

Muller just stands there like a dummy.

“Honestly, Sam,” Mary says. “Go find your Mynah.”

There’s still a milk stain around Muller’s crotch. You’d think Judy would notice these things. Maybe that’s what love’s all about, ignoring the obvious, tolerating the stupid. We’re blinded, we accept, we find lip-smacking and jaw-grinding cute and endearing.

We’re all pretty sick when you think about it.