| |
Rakesh hesitated outside the door to the apartment that he and Virin shared. Would Virin be there? Or would he walk into an empty apartment, to find his husband already gone for Felanore? He licked his lips, then took a step forward; the door recognized his identichip signal and opened for him. He walked slowly inside and let the door close behind him. The front room was empty, the apartment quiet, and for a moment, he thought Virin was gone—
"You came back."
Rakesh turned, saw Virin standing in the doorway that led to their bedroom. He was out of uniform, looking tired and unkempt. And far more nervous than Rakesh could ever remember seeing.
"I came back. Rin—"
"I'm sorry," Virin interrupted. "If... If you want, I can be out of here tomorrow. I'll sign anything you want—"
"Rin, shut up," Rakesh said gently. Virin stopped and stared at him as Rakesh raised his left hand, baring the pledge bracelet that encircled his wrist. The matching one was, he noticed, still around Virin's.
"You are an idiot. You are a fucking idiot. And I love you," Rakesh said. "That hasn't changed. You scared me, but you've been scaring the piss out of me on and off for over ten years now. I have never expected that to change. I am surprised you never told me about that whole feral thing. That's really something I should have known. And I expect you to tell me anything else like that before I run face first into it. Deal?"
It took Virin a moment to realize what Rakesh meant. "You're not leaving?"
"And neither are you. Idiot." Rakesh watched as the tension flowed out of Virin, leaving him sagging against the doorframe. "You look like shit, Rin."
Virin grinned. "And you're awfully sweary, Kesh. How are you feeling?"
"Pretty good, all things considered. You?"
Virin shrugged. "I haven't slept since the drugs wore off. I've been... Well, I've been packing. I thought you'd want me gone. I wouldn't have blamed you." He straightened and looked at Rakesh. "Why don't you want me gone?"
Rakesh walked over to him, leaned one of his canes against the wall, and reached up to curl one hand around the back of Virin's neck. "Because I'm not blaming you for something that you were made to be," he said, looking into Virin's eyes. "I love you, Kian-ti-os. I'm not rejecting you for being a Sword. That's part of you, part of the man I love. That I loved enough to marry. And now that I know about this part, I can help you avoid being placed in that situation."
Virin closed his eyes, and Rakesh felt the shudder than ran through him. He pulled Virin closer, wrapping his free arm around his husband, feeling strong arms sliding around his own waist. "I love you," he repeated. "And I forgive you."
"Thank you," Virin murmured against his neck. "I love you, Kesh." His arms tightened slightly, then loosened as Virin straightened. "So...do I unpack? Or do I help you pack?"
Rakesh blinked, startled. "Why...? I told you you're not leaving!"
"No, but I did think we'd be taking our things with us to Aakar—"
"Rin!"
"I was wrong," Virin said simply. "I know that. I've taught you the best I can. And, look here..." He tipped his head back, and Rakesh saw the livid bruise that crossed Virin's throat. "If I'd been a normal man, you've have laid me flat with that strike. Possibly killed me. You did well, Kesh. I'm proud of you."
Rakesh felt his face growing warm, and smiled slightly. "I had a good teacher," he murmured. "How much packing have you done?"
"Not a lot. My clothes. A few personal things. Why?"
Rakesh smiled and stepped closer, his chest against Virin's. "So...none of the toys?"
"You are just out of regen!" Virin said with a laugh.
"So?"
"So, I don't want to put you back in!"
Rakesh laughed, a laugh that was cut short when Virin grabbed him and kissed him, hard enough to steal his breath. He dropped his second cane and wrapped both arms around Virin's neck, letting Virin push him back against the wall. He groaned as Virin released his mouth and started working with teeth and tongue over his jaw and down his throat.
"I know what to do to you," Virin whispered against Rakesh's skin. "I know. Come into the bedroom."
"Thought you'd never ask." Rakesh took the arm that Virin offered, letting Virin support him as they walked into the bedroom. These quarters were larger than the ones that they'd had before Virin had been promoted to Kian-ti-ar two years ago, so there was room in their bedroom for things that they couldn't fit in their old space. The whipping cross on the wall across from their bed, for example. Or the rack of whips, restraints and various other things that they both enjoyed. Rakesh looked around as they walked into the room, and groaned at the sight of clothing piled all over the bed, some of it balled up haphazardly and half stuffed into packing boxes. "Rin!"
"I know. I'll clean it up tomorrow. Now...sit down. I want to show you something."
Rakesh nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as Virin dug through one box and pulled out a long tube. He held it up and grinned. "I brought this back from Felanore. Tarason Kian-ti-ar had a truly impressive collection of these in his quarters, and I...appropriated them after he was sent north. I'd heard stories about this kind of thing in Aakar, read about them in my father's notes, but never I've never actually seen them before. I didn't think any of them still existed, really. They were supposed to all have been destroyed."
"Tarason?"
"The former commander of the garrison. I'll tell you more about him later. For now...." He passed the tube to Rakesh. "Open it."
Rakesh examined the tube, found that it twisted open. Inside was a scroll that, when unfurled, revealed calligraphy that Rakesh could not read, accompanying a beautifully-detailed drawing of a blindfolded woman. Her skin was covered by what looked like intricate lattice work.
"This is lovely," Rakesh murmured. "What is that supposed to be, a tattoo?"
"No. That's ropework, Kesh."
Rakesh looked up, then back down at the artwork. "Rope? Wait... Yes. I see the knots now. That's... extraordinary. And you found this in Aakar? I thought that they didn't..." Rakesh frowned, then looked over at Virin. "What are these?"
"Apparently, it's an ancient art form, part of the religion that was suppressed when Tragar decided to deify himself. That's all I know—there's nothing about this in any of my father's books. But he'd heard stories, though, about these kinds of scrolls, and he wrote about them in his notes on Aakar. From what I could see, Transon just thought these were pornography. He had them hanging in his quarters. But they're not meant to be."
"I can see why he thought so. So what are they?"
"Well, if my theory is correct, these are partially prayer books and partially meditation guides," Virin answered as he sat down next to Rakesh. "Honestly, I don't know. Father might have known more. Mother says that he was studying the old Aakari religions when he died. She was interested, because some of what he learned was very similar to things Mother told him she was taught in the Arena."
Rakesh looked at his husband, "So many of the trainees we get from Aakar are so...shocked at what is expected of them in the Arena. But this... This is something that I think would have gotten them ready for it. If can adapt something that is part of their own culture, it might help. Do you think she'd loan me those books?"
"She already did," Virin answered. He reached over and took the scroll, slowly rolling it back up. "Here's the funny part. Mother told me that after their first time together in the Arena, Father gave her a book to read while she was recovering. The book was on the Aakari religion, and it turned out that she already had it. She borrowed it from one the the first Aakari refugees to take the collar." He looked sidelong at Rakesh. "Your father."
"What?" Rakesh shook his head. "Father never speaks about what his life was like in Aakar. Nothing. He's never even told us about his family in Aakar, even when I asked. Nor did Mother. I don't know if they have any living relatives there. I don't even really speak the language!"
"I thought you did."
"Not much." Rakesh shrugged. "Father and Mother were firm about us speaking Tyesean, but we learned Aakari because they would speak it to each other when they didn't want us to understand."
"We're both going to need to be fluent before we get to Aakar. We'll have to undergo immersion hypnotics before we leave. Ever done that?" Virin asked.
"No. The refugees who don't speak Tyesean get it when they join the Arena, but perhaps I should have learned more Aakari."
"In your oh-so-plentiful spare time?" Virin teased. "
"I could have gotten a tutor in the Arena. There are more than enough fluent speakers to teach me what I don't know." Rakesh frowned, thinking. "I should mention that to Marga, too."
"Later. You can think about your work later. Now, I'm thinking about you. And I want you thinking about nothing at all."
Rakesh laughed. "And how do you plan to manage that?"
Virin smiled and held up the scroll. "Meditation, my dear. Let's get you out of those clothes."
Rakesh took off his shirt and watched as what had turned into a daily ritual between him and Virin started. Virin went to his knees in front of Rakesh and slowly took Rakesh's right foot into his lap. He tugged on the straps of the knee-high boots that Rakesh wore, slowly loosening them until he could finally, gently, tug the heavy boot off. He had to be gentle, or the pain would be excruciating. The compression stocking came off next, slowly peeled down Rakesh's leg and over his crippled feet. Once it was off, Virin started to massage Rakesh's foot, using a strong-smelling liniment that the medics said would do no harm. A phrase that Rakesh privately thought meant that they didn't think it would do any good either. But Virin insisted, claiming that the salve was used in the training camps in order to speed the healing of minor wounds and breakages. Once he was done with the right foot, the entire process was repeated with the left. Then, and only then, was Rakesh allowed to take off the rest of his clothes, since having a naked Rakesh with his cock at eye-level was, according to Virin, entirely too distracting.
"Now," Virin said as he wiped the salve off his hands. "On your knees."
Rakesh nodded and slipped off the bed, positioning himself on his knees and watching as Virin got up and walked over to the rack. He picked up a coil of cream-colored rope that Rakesh didn't remember seeing before.
"I got this special," Virin explained, shaking it out. "Brought it home from Aakar. This is made from fedelis tree fiber. Feels like silk."
"Isn't the fedelis tree poisonous?" Rakesh asked.
"The nectar is. The fibers were used to make clothing for the royal family, or so I'm told. And, I'm also told that fidelis rope is what they call for in those scrolls."
"You didn't have them translated?"
"I didn't want them to disappear."
Rakesh nodded and watched as Virin fussed with the rope a little more, until he nodded and made a satisfied noise. "Good. All right. Arms at your sides. Don't move."
Rakesh did his best to follow the directions, but he was fascinated by what Virin was doing, and kept breaking position to try and see. The rope was doubled, and a knot tied off to form a small loop at the doubling point. That first knot went behind Rakesh's neck, so that the loop hung down between his shoulder blades. A second knot was tied over his heart, a third a few inches lower, and a fourth—
"Hey!"
"Sorry," Virin said, not sounding sorry at all. "Didn't mean to hit you. Your cock is in the way."
"I think that's the first time I've ever heard that said about my cock."
Virin laughed, kissed Rakesh, and set the fourth knot to rest at the root of his cock, then tied another knot and snugged it right behind his balls, drawing the long tails of the rope between Rakesh's legs and up. Rakesh squirmed as the soft rope slithered up the crack of his ass.
"That tickles," he said, looking over his shoulder. "What are you doing now?"
"I'm only half done. Stay still."
Rakesh couldn't see, but he could feel as Virin tied more knots, then ran the tails through the dangling loop and pulled until everything snugged down tightly.
"Comfortable?"
"Yes. Now what?"
"Well, if I've done this right..." Virin reached around and ran the tails through the paired rope on Rakesh's chest, just over the first knot, pulling them tight and bringing them back behind. Then he brought them forward again, weaving them in between the knots, forming the rope diamonds that they had seen on the woman in the scroll. Each diamond pulled the ropes tighter, pulled that one knot more firmly into Rakesh's balls. Finally, Virin tied the rope ends off under the curve of Rakesh's ass. "Very nice," he murmured. "Very pretty. I think I've gotten it. Most of it."
"Most of it?" Rakesh asked. "And...may I touch?"
"Go ahead." Virin reached out and tapped the closet door; it faded into a reflective surface. "Admire yourself. This suits you, Kesh. I'll be right back." He walked out of the room, and Rakesh looked at himself in the mirror. The pale ropes nearly shone against his dark skin, and the effect was striking. Rakesh was suddenly reminded strongly of his days as a Tarken, the white collar and control bands that he'd taken off so many years ago. He hadn't thought of those days in a long time.
"Deep thoughts?" Virin asked as he came back in, carrying one of the straight-backed chairs from their dining room.
"Thinking that these remind me of my days in a white collar," Rakesh answered. "What are you doing?"
"Making sure I don't hurt you." Virin set the chair down and gestured to it. "Sit down."
Rakesh pulled himself up and went to sit down, stumbling and almost falling as the movement pulled the knot under his balls even tighter, the pressure abruptly painful. Virin caught him, and helped him to sit.
"She had the same pattern down her legs, didn't she?" Rakesh mused. "How do you do that?"
"That, I'm not sure," Virin admitted. "I'm not going to worry about it now, either." He picked up shorter lengths of the fedelis rope and bound Rakesh's ankles and knees together. Then he moved behind the chair and took Rakesh's arms, drawing them back behind the chair and binding his wrists. He moved off, and before Rakesh saw him in the mirror, doing something at the rack. When he came back, it was with a length of black silk between his hands.
"Lights out, love," Virin murmured, lowering the blindfold over Rakesh's eyes. The cloth tightened, cutting off Rakesh's sight, and he moaned softly.
"Very nice," Virin repeated, running his fingers up Rakesh's arm, down his chest. He tugged on one of the ropes, then twisted one of Rakesh's erect nipples. "Very nice indeed. Now that I have you so nicely wrapped, what do you suppose I should do with you?"
Rakesh didn't answer. It was part of the game. If Virin had really wanted him to speak, he'd have called him by name. Instead Rakesh tugged against the ropes, feeling the silky-smooth fedelis digging into his skin, the hard knot pressing up into his balls. The tightness of the bonds was intoxicating. It made him want to struggle more, and he shifted, pulling hard and slipping down on the chair, stretching his legs out and leaning back.
"Yes, that's nice. Wait... Wait, Kesh." Virin took Rakesh by the waist and lifted him, taking him out of the chair and back onto his knees. Rakesh heard the soft hissing of rope sliding against rope, then felt the slither of it over his skin as Virin laced his arms into the body harness, creating sleeves out of rope that completely immobilized Rakesh's upper body. Then Virin helped Rakesh lay down on his stomach; Rakesh's ankles were pulled up and bound off to his wrists, then more rope was wound around his legs, binding calves and thighs together. Rakesh heard Virin rise, then felt a nudge on his side. "Now fight it. I know you want to."
Rakesh tugged against the ropes, then pulled harder, finding no slack. Not that he expected any. Not from Virin. The only way he could move was from side to side, the motion driving his erection into the floor and scraping his nipples against the pile of the carpet. He tried harder, gasping as the knots seemed to grow tighter, his bonds more stringent, that one strategically placed knot even more stimulating. One particularly hard twist tipped him over, onto his side, and he lay there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. It was only then that he realized what a mistake he'd made—on his side, he couldn't move at all. He tried to roll back onto his front, and couldn't.
"Stuck?" Virin asked, his voice rich and heavy. Rakesh knew that voice, the darkness that heralded wonderful pain and pleasure both. He whimpered, and heard Virin laugh.
"I'm enjoying watching you struggle," Virin said. Footsteps, and a strong hand ran down Rakesh's thigh. "I wonder how easy it would be to make you scream, tied like this?" Rakesh moaned, arching his back, his body rocking back and forth slightly. He heard a soft rattle, then yelped as sharp pains shot through his chest, one nipple after the other. There was a sharp tug on the chain, then Virin ran his hand up Rakesh's chest and over his throat. "I'd gag you, but I'm enjoying listening to you. Next time."
His hand moved away, and Rakesh licked his lips before rocking his shoulders forward once more, trying to get back on his stomach. One strong twist, and he tipped, teetered, hovered for a heartbeat, then fell forward. As he landed, the clamps on his nipples drove into his chest, and the knot dug painfully into his balls; he screamed as he came, whipping his body from side to side as he thrashed in place, riding wave after wave of pleasure until he fell into their still, dark depths.
***
VIRIN SMILED AS RAKESH fell still, his breathing slowing and his head resting on the floor. "That was impressive, Kesh. I wasn't expecting you to come just from being tied up." he said. "Is it my turn now?"
No answer. Virin frowned, kneeling down next to Rakesh and touching his shoulder. "Kesh?"
Again, no answer, and Virin grabbed his knife, cutting Rakesh's legs free and rolling Rakesh back onto his side, unfastening the clips on his nipples and letting them fall to the floor. To Virin's shock, there was no reaction to the opening of the clips—usually, Rakesh would howl in pain when they came off. This time, he didn't even move, and Virin cursed softly. He stripped the blindfold next, letting it fall to the floor as he lifted Rakesh up and moved him onto the bed. As he set Rakesh down, the bound man groaned and his eyelids fluttered. Then he blinked, looked around and frowned.
"Rin?" he said, sounding shaky. "Why are you untying me?"
"You scared me," Virin said. He sat down next to Rakesh, resting one hand on Rakesh's stomach. "You passed out, I think."
"I did?" Rakesh asked. He tried to move and gasped, his head falling back against the pillows. He shook his head, and it seemed to Virin that he was trying to keep the rest of his body as still as possible. "I—damn that knot!—I don't think so. I... I remember. I heard you. I just... It was more like a deep trance, I think."
"Was it?" Virin turned and looked at the scroll tube. "These are supposed to be meditation techniques. I am going to have to try and find someone to translate the text, find out what we really have here."
"Can we think about that later?" Rakesh asked. He squirmed, hissing softly. "Did... Did you tighten these?"
"No."
"They feel tighter. It feels so good. Please, Rin..." Rakesh dug his heels into the bed and rolled towards Virin. "Touch me, please?" He arched his back again, and Virin was surprised to see that his cock was starting to get hard once more.
"You're not usually this needy, love," Virin said slowly. "Or this quick to recover."
"I... I don't know. I don't care! Please?" Rakesh moaned, closing his eyes and drawing his knees up to his chest. "Rin...please, I want you...."
"Well, there isn't much I can do to you with that rope in the way." Virin rose and started taking off his clothes, tossing them haphazardly to the side before climbing onto the bed with Rakesh. He pushed Rakesh's legs out of the way and pulled his husband into his arms, claiming his mouth in a deep kiss. He ran one hand down Rakesh's side, enjoying the contrast between soft skin and softer rope. As he brought his hand back up, he reached between them and tugged hard on the knot that sat low on Rakesh's belly, drawing a near-scream from Rakesh. Intrigued, Virin did it again, pushing Rakesh onto his back and watching the reactions as he tugged and plucked at the ropes. Rakesh threw his head back, moaning and gasping, struggling against the bonds, pumping his hips frantically. His cock was hard again, the tip already glistening, and Virin smiled slightly as he leaned down and licked the bead of moisture away. Rakesh howled in a voice that Virin had never heard before, and he only just barely missed getting hit in the face as Rakesh came for the second time, splattering his own chest and the bed with the force of his climax.
"That.... All right." Virin leaned forward, looking at Rakesh. Once again, his husband looked as if he'd passed out, his face slack, his eyes closed. But there was movement under his lids—Rakesh was dreaming. This time, Virin sat back and watched, waiting.
After ten minutes, he went to the corner and turned on the sat-comm, carrying the receiver over the bed so that he was within arm's reach of Rakesh. He made two calls, and neither conversation did anything to make him feel better.
Twenty minutes after Virin returned the sat-comm to its place on the corner table, Rakesh groaned and opened his eyes. He blinked, then looked around. "Rin?" he said slowly. "What happened?"
"You tell me. Where were you, love?"
"I'm...not sure. I... I dreamed. I think," Rakesh shook his head and tried to move. "Rin, can I be untied now? This is starting to be uncomfortable."
"I should think so, considering you've been tied up like this for nearly an hour and you came three times."
"Three?" Rakesh gasped. "I... How is that possible? I've never... In under an hour?"
"Within the space of about half an hour, actually. And I think it was three. That last one, if it was an orgasm, was dry. The first was before I moved you to the bed. The second was after I got into bed with you, and the third was while you were in trance."
Rakesh licked his lips and blinked. "That explains why I'm sore. I need something to drink."
"Of course." Virin raised his knife and slowly started to cut Rakesh's ankles free, noticing the red marks under the ropes that looked far too livid for simple rope-burn. Rakesh hissed as Virin pulled the ropes away, closing his eyes as if he were in pain.
"Kesh?"
"It feels like you're pulling off skin," Rakesh said. Then he yelped as Virin picked him up. "What are you doing?"
"Taking you into the bath. I think we might have to soak this off." Virin headed into the bathroom, setting Rakesh down in the bathtub and starting the water. "There's a reason they used this kind of rope in these rituals. There is some kind of hallucinogen in the fibers. And I think you might be especially sensitive to it, whatever it is." He turned around to see Rakesh staring at him.
"You knew there was a hallucinogen in the rope and you used it anyway?"
"No!" Virin snapped. "You know I would never put you in danger like that, Kesh! No, I didn't know about it until I sat-commed your father—"
"You what?" Rakesh sat up straight, the water sloshing around his legs as he visibly struggled to keep his balance with his arms still bound.
"He's the only person we could think of who might know what was happening to you!" Virin said, hearing the fear in his own voice. Rakesh must have heard it, too, because he fell silent. "Kesh, I had no idea what I'd done to you. I'm not ashamed to say that I panicked. I sat-commed Mother first. She didn't know, and she suggested I talk to Raizi. He... Kesh, I'm pretty sure he's on his way here."
Rakesh groaned, tipping his head back against the side of the tub. Then he gasped and cursed. "Damn that knot!"
"That probably didn't help," Virin admitted. "The skin there is kind of thin. Let me see if I can get them off now." He picked up his knife and slipped into the bath, kneeling over Rakesh's legs. "If this hurts, I am sorry. I didn't know—"
"Apologize later, Rin."
"Yes, love." Virin slowly slipped the knife underneath one of the submerged ropes and cut it, watching as the cut ends floated away from Rakesh's skin. "That's good. Soaking breaks the hold. Good. I'll have you loose in a minute." He focused on cutting the ropes, freeing Rakesh from the web, releasing his arms and legs and unwinding the cords from around his torso.
"Next time, I'll get plain rope," he muttered.
"Good," Rakesh answered, his voice low and tired. "I do want to do this again, Rin."
"Am I losing you?" Virin asked, looking up. Rakesh blinked and looked at him, his eyes half-lidded. He smiled sleepily.
"I think so," he answered. "I'm exhausted, Rin."
"That isn't surprising. Stay with me, though. Tell me about what you saw." Virin slowly tugged the ropes from between Rakesh's legs; Rakesh gasped and flinched away as the cords caught on his balls.
"Sorry," he said with a laugh. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. "Too sensitive."
"You probably feel like I went at you with sandpaper. I'm the one who should be sorry, Kesh. And I am. I should have waited for a translation." Virin tossed wet ropes out off the tub and picked up Rakesh's arm, looking at the marks on his wrist. "I wasn't planning on hurting you tonight."
"I know," Rakesh answered without opening his eyes.
"Going to tell me what you dreamed?"
Rakesh shook his head. "Not yet. Let me sleep."
Virin smiled. "Let's get you into bed, first." He dropped the last of the rope fragments on the floor and got out of the bathtub, helping Rakesh out and steadying him while they both dried off. Rakesh leaned heavily on him as they moved to the bed, and he was asleep before Virin pulled the blankets up to cover him. Virin looked down at him for a long moment, then leaned down and kissed his cheek.
"I'm sorry, love," he said softly.