Chapter 7

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.

—Ephesians 5:15

 

 

 

 

It had been weeks since Ethan had given me the flowers. I hadn’t heard from him anymore, which was fine. I didn’t like the way I felt when I was around him. I mean I liked it, but it wasn’t good for me. After all these years, he still caused a fluttering to take place inside my stomach. It was like a whole flock of butterflies was in there, all trying to take flight at once.

To keep in shape, I liked to walk. But since I’d started my business, I hadn’t had a lot of time or opportunity to do it. I could feel the effects of me not being able to do it. I didn’t have as much energy and I was putting on a few pounds. When I worked for the Social Security Administration, I walked during my lunchtime. And if I didn’t walk then, I’d go to the park after I came home from work. My girls loved going to the park. They would play on the jungle gym, slide, and swing while I walked. Sometimes I would meet up with a friend and we’d talk while we walked. I didn’t have a lot of those times though—walking with friends.

After I left Social Security, I would go to the park in the morning before my class on floral arrangement. Honestly, I’ve been working with flowers since I was first married. In the beginning, I did it as a hobby—just one more thing for Zeke to make fun about when it came to me. After our three children were born (and with my full work schedule outside the home as well as inside), I just let my desire fall by the wayside. Besides, buying flowers (especially the ones I loved) was expensive, and I couldn’t grow all of the flowers the way I would have liked. Well, I could have, had Zeke been more cooperative about helping me. But he didn’t want to dig or help me do anything.

There was just too much to do and not enough hours in one day to do it. My friend Danielle was quick to remind me that I wasn’t superwoman, so I needed to let go of the cape and quit trying to draw an S on my chest, especially when both of my hands were tied behind my back.

Danielle had a way with words and making the point clear. She’s one of my friends who didn’t have a lot of time to walk with me, but she was a lot of fun to talk to whenever we did. Danielle had things going on in her own marriage. She believed her husband was cheating on her, although she couldn’t prove it. And as much as I talked about Zeke, her husband treated her a lot worse than Zeke ever did me. Zeke knew better than to put me down in front of other people. He could say all he wanted when we were in the privacy of our home, but not when others were around. That’s where I drew the line. He didn’t have but one time to make that mistake with me, and he’d already used it.

It was a sunny morning in September, and I just wanted to walk. I’d started back walking a few weeks ago, after work when I closed. This particular morning, the flower shop wasn’t busy. With the exception of a few funerals that generated several orders at one time, and three nice-size weddings, so far I was only receiving sporadic orders. Nothing, at least at this point, that would even remotely justify me hiring anyone to work for me.

I was thankful that I had the first year of rent free that came from me having signed a five-year lease for the building. There’s no way I would have been able to keep the doors open had it not been for that blessing. My hope was that things would pick up soon. I knew that Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day were two booming times for this type of business. I was just hoping I could hold on until those days rolled around and gave my company the boost it needed.

So I laced up my white tennis shoes—not the ones I normally kept at work to work in when I was trying to be cute; the ones I’d bought specifically for walking. I felt I could be gone about thirty or forty minutes without anyone ever even missing me.

Just as I was about to leave to drive over to the park, the shop’s phone rang. The caller ID read: A&D. My heart skipped a beat as I recalled that was where Ethan said he worked. Then again, it might not even be him. He had promised to send some business my way. Maybe this was just someone who worked there that he’d referred to me. I answered the phone, “The Painted Lady Flower Shop. How may I help you?”

“Hi,” the male voice said with an obvious smile. My heart flipped; it was Ethan!

I quietly exhaled so he wouldn’t be able to hear me do it. “Hi there,” I said.

“Do you know who this is?” he asked.

“Of course I do.”

“So what are you up to?”

“Oh, not much. It’s kind of slow around here,” I said. “I’m sure you know how things can be sometimes.” I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t doing so great.

“Yeah, it’s slow here today as well. In fact, they’re letting some of us take off early. They allow us to do that when it’s slow and they don’t need as many workers. They save money that way.”

“That’s nice of them, especially if someone has something they want or need to do.”

“Yeah. Listen, I was wondering if you’d like to do something today. With me, that is. You know, have a chance to talk some more.” I could tell he was nervous.

“Well, actually, I was just about to go walking . . . at the park.”

“Seriously? Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” I said, frowning. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Because I work out a lot and I would love to go walking with you.”

I was a bit leery. That was a little too convenient for me. “I don’t know.”

“What? You don’t know if we should walk together? Come on, you’re being silly now, don’t you think? You were going to go walking. I just so happen to have time off. What’s the harm in the two of us walking together? I mean two old friends . . . walking in a public park together . . .”

I laughed. “You’re good at doing that.”

“Good at what?”

“You know: that ‘two old friends’ number you seem to give me.”

“Well, we are friends, aren’t we?”

“Yes, I guess so.”

“And we are old, wouldn’t you agree?” He chuckled. “Hold up. I don’t mean old in the sense of old.”

“But you’re right. We are both older now.”

“Older, but not old. You and I can still hold our own. And honestly, you don’t look like you’ve aged a bit.”

He made me smile. “Two old friends, huh?”

“Yes. Two old friends, walking in the park, getting our exercise on, getting our hearts pumping.”

I’m sure when he said that about our hearts, he was talking about the one that pumps and circulates blood. But when it came to me and him, it was obvious (to me anyway) that the other sense of our hearts—love—was more in jeopardy of being pumped. I know I knew it; I’m sure he must have, too.

“Come on. Let’s do this,” he said. “Tell me which park you’re going to and I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay,” I said. But since he was planning to be there, I decided it was best we meet in a park other than the one I normally patronized. I thought about a park I’d seen when I was passing through another area. It was close enough, maybe an extra five minutes away. When I mentioned the park’s name, he knew exactly where it was.

“Are you leaving right now?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll see you shortly,” he said.

And as soon as I hung up, I felt I’d made another huge mistake in saying yes to Ethan . . . yet again. But for reasons I can’t fully explain, when it came to Ethan, it was just hard for me to say no.