CHAPTER 4

You’ve got to hand it to Jill. She really loves animals. Even sharks.

I mean, I like animals, and I think sharks are really cool, but there’s NO WAY I’d ever get in a tank and operate on them, not even if they’re too sick to move.

And judging by the way Terry is trembling, he’s not too keen on the idea either.

‘Well,’ I say,

‘I guess we’ll leave

you to it.

Good luck!’

‘Where do you think

you’re going?’ says Jill.

‘To the kitchen,’

I say. ‘I’m kind of in

the middle of telling

the readers

a story.’

‘Yeah,’ says Terry,

‘I’d better go as well—Andy will need me to draw the pictures.’

‘Oh no you don’t,’ says Jill. ‘Both of you are staying right here—I need you to help me with the operation.’

‘But what about the readers?’ I say.

‘Don’t worry,’ says Jill. ‘I’ll deal with them.’

‘Excuse me, readers! Unfortunately, we’ve got a bit of an emergency here and I’m just going to have to borrow Andy and Terry for a moment. Is that okay? Great! Thanks for understanding. And do feel free to watch! Just try not to sneeze—we don’t want any more germs getting into these poor sharks.’

She turns back to us.

‘I’ve explained the situation to the readers and they’re fine with it, so get your diving suits on and let’s get started.’

We shrug, put on our diving suits and follow Jill into the tank.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a tank full of man-eating sharks before but, believe me, it’s pretty scary. The sharks look even bigger down here than they do from up there.

‘What if the sharks wake up and get hungry while we’re doing the surgery?’ I say.

‘They won’t,’ says Jill. ‘Trust me. But just to be sure, I’ll give them each a dose of Dr Numbskull’s Sleepy Shark Sleeping Potion.’

‘Can I just ask one question?’ I say.

‘Sure,’ says Jill.

‘Aren’t we underwater?’

‘Yes, of course we are,’ she says.

‘Then how come we can talk?’

‘Sorry, Andy, but that’s two questions and we only had time for one. Are you ready?’

‘Yes, but what do we do?’ says Terry. ‘I’ve never operated on a shark before.’

‘It’s not so hard,’ says Jill. ‘You know how to work a zipper, don’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, there’s one about halfway down its belly. Just unzip it and empty the contents.’

‘Wow!’ I say. ‘I never knew sharks had zippers!’

I unzip my shark and peer into its belly. As you might expect, it’s full of fish. I can’t see any sign of Terry’s underpants but I can see some sort of large round object. I reach in and pull it out.

‘Hey, look what I found! It’s Captain Woodenhead’s wooden head!’

‘Yikes!’ says Terry.

‘Ugh,’ says Jill. ‘That’s really creepy.’

Jill’s right. It is really creepy.

Even though the eyes are made of wood, it feels like they are looking right at you.

And it’s quite a coincidence, really, because Captain Woodenhead is actually tied up with that whole story I was telling you earlier about how Terry and I met.

You remember that lonely little boy? The one at the top of the very tall tower? Well …

‘Andy!’ says Jill. ‘Stop talking to the readers! Do I have to remind you that we’re in the middle of open-shark surgery? Let’s focus and get this job finished—then you can blather away all you want.’

‘I’m not “blathering,”’ I say. ‘I’m narrating.’

Jill and Terry look at each other, roll their eyes and smile.

‘Whatever,’ says Jill. ‘Just save it till later.’

‘Hey, look what I found!’ says Terry, holding up a pair of underpants.

‘And I just found a pair too,’ I say, pulling them out of my shark.

‘And here’s the third pair,’ says Jill, holding them as far away from herself as possible. ‘Terry, these underpants are disgusting!’

‘I know!’ he says. ‘That’s why I was trying to wash them!’

‘Will the sharks be all right now?’ I say.

‘I hope so,’ says Jill. ‘I think the best thing for them is to be zipped back up and have a good rest. The cats and I can take it from here.’