CHAPTER 13

You know, there’s nothing like a session in the anti-gravity chamber to really help you relax after a stressful couple of days like the ones we’ve just been through.

‘Uh-oh,’ says Terry. ‘That’s the video phone. It must be Mr Big Nose!’

He’s right. I’d better go answer it.

‘What took you so long?’ says Mr Big Nose. ‘I’m a busy man, you know!’

‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘I was relaxing in the anti-gravity chamber.’

‘Relaxing? What about the new book?’

‘It’s all done,’ I say.

‘Then why isn’t it on my desk?’

‘Don’t worry,’ I say, ‘I’ll get it to you very soon, but it’s been a bit hectic around here. You see—’

‘Spare me the details,’ says Mr Big Nose. ‘I don’t pay you for excuses, I pay you for books, and if the new one isn’t on my desk in the next five minutes then I won’t be paying you at all and you can find yourself a new publisher!’

‘But I thought we had until next Friday,’ I say.

‘You did, but the schedule changed,’ says Mr Big Nose. ‘Five minutes … or else.’

The screen goes blank.

‘What’s the matter, Andy?’ says Jill.

‘It’s the new book,’ I say. ‘The schedule has been changed. Instead of being due next week, now it’s due in five minutes.’

‘I hate Mr Big Nose,’ says Terry.

‘Be quiet,’ I say. ‘He might hear you!’

‘What new book are you talking about?’ says Jill.

‘This one!’ I say. ‘It’s about how me and Terry met. You’re in it as well.’

‘Really?’ says Jill. ‘Can I see it?’

‘Sure.’

‘It’s really good,’ says Jill when she’s finished. ‘I love stories with a happy ending.’

‘Me too!’ says Terry.

‘But that’s the thing,’ I say. ‘It’s not going to have a happy ending unless we get it to Mr Big Nose on time.’

‘Why don’t we use Captain Woodenhead’s cannon?’ says Terry. ‘We can put the book in it and blast it straight to him. It’ll get there in no time!’

‘Great idea!’ I say. ‘Let’s load it in.’

‘Okay,’ says Terry, ‘all done. Can I light the fuse?’

‘Sure,’ I say.

I hand him a match.

‘Hey, that looks like fun!’ says Jill. ‘Can I try it?’

‘No problem,’ says Terry. ‘Hop in!’

‘So that’s it,’ says Terry. ‘We’re finished! Do we have free time now?’

‘We sure do,’ I say. ‘Our next book isn’t due for at least a year.’

‘Great,’ says Terry, ‘because I’ve drawn up a set of plans for another thirteen storeys that I’d really like to get your opinion on …’