A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

SOME OF YOU MAY BE thinking this book is a departure from my previous works. I like to think of it more as a product of growth. I’ve written a lot of stories about courtship and love, and most of those stories end before the wedding. Other than the Sister Wife series, I haven’t had a story that centered around a marriage. (And the marriage in those books is hardly a healthy, viable one!)

Many stories use the sin of adultery as an automatic end to a marriage. I wanted to show it as a storm to survive. Marriage, in both life and literature, is multidimensional. It’s a road trip, with two people stuck together, even if they aren’t moving in the same direction.

At the same time Nola and Russ’s journey began to evolve in my imagination, a fascination with the Dust Bowl was also spinning around in my mind, given its place in history following the rich decade of the Roaring Twenties, which formed the backdrop for my last series. Then, as with all my books, I delved into the impact the environment had on women —how the inability to fulfill the traditional roles of homemaker, mother, and nurturer could destroy a woman’s sense of self-worth.

That’s when the two ideas clicked together. A woman who cannot appreciate her worth is easy prey for this particular sin. And the dust serves as a powerful metaphor for sin —inescapable, ever present. It is unbidden and unhidden. It is filth and thirst and drought. It is death, and no life can flourish in the midst of it. Sin does that to a marriage —to any relationship. The dust could only be overcome by the rain, and the rain brought a promise of new life.

I also wanted to explore the idea of what it means to be a “real” Christian. We are often quick to judge someone who behaves as Nola does, concluding that the person can’t possibly be saved. But what does it mean to be a “real” Christian? It simply means believing that Jesus Christ died to save us from our sin and rose from the dead to give us new life. At the same time, our belief in Christ does not keep us from sinning —not even from engaging in fully realized, willful sin. Nola enters into the act of adultery through her own free will and through willful denial of the truth. She is drawn to it by her own desires and hides it out of a very real sense of self-preservation. (Jim isn’t to blame for Nola’s sin; he’s just an opportunist. And one who will be held accountable for his own choices, though that was outside the scope of this story.)

And once we’ve sinned, knowingly and willingly, then what? Belief in Christ does not take away our ability —or our desire —to sin, nor does it provide automatic absolution for the sins we may commit. That comes only with confession and repentance, whenever the Holy Spirit convicts us.

Nola knows this. She believes it is true (though she doesn’t always feel it). Her sin cannot negate her salvation, but like any sin, it separates her from a healthy relationship with Christ —just as it precludes a healthy relationship with her husband. For a time, at least. For a season. Her shame makes her feel unworthy to accept forgiveness from Christ or to expect forgiveness from her husband. But yes, she is a real Christian —a sinner saved by grace.

Writing this story in first person, present tense was something new for me, but it seemed the best choice. Nola is what’s known as an unreliable narrator. To put it bluntly, she’s a liar, and from page one until her confession to Russ, we can be suspicious of almost everything she says. She promises herself (and, de facto, the reader) that she will confess to Russ. She doesn’t. She refuses to confront her motives, and that wall of dishonesty is what keeps her from fully embracing God’s forgiveness. I wanted to write a story that lived in the intentions of the character, to show how frail and insubstantial our relationships can be without true confession and repentance. When we lie to ourselves —and God —in the moment, we believe it.

I make the point in the story that Russ loved Nola first, and that he loves her more. It’s my personal philosophy that no two people can ever love each other absolutely equally. In this case, that gives me hope for them to have a happy ending —maybe not in the final pages of the book, but in the months and years to come. Russ understands forgiveness. He is spiritually healthy enough to forgive Nola, even though he’s human enough to need some time before full restoration. Chances are, it will take even longer for Nola to come to the place where she fully feels forgiven —but not for any lack of assurance on Russ’s part.

May you find the strength to believe in the love of Christ and those people he has placed in your life, even when you feel that you’ve done something unforgivable. As Nola learned as a child, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).