WILLOW SAT AT her kitchen table, head spinning, as she tried to absorb Theo’s words. She couldn’t fit them in her mind in a way that made sense. Maisie didn’t have a father. Maisie had Willow, the way Willow had had Gran when she was growing up. Their family was small, but special. And it did not include a father.
Even though she was sitting, she clutched the edges of the kitchen table to steady herself.
“I’m sure this is a lot to take in,” said Theo. “I did ask the clinic to let you know that I was trying to get in touch, but all of the contact information they had for you was out of date. I suppose that’s not surprising. It has been several years, after all.”
Maternal instinct overrode Willow’s shock, and she stood up and pulled back Maisie’s chair. “Run along and play in your room, love. Mr. Moore and I need to talk.”
“Can I bring my lemonade?”
“Yes, but hold the glass with both hands so you don’t spill.” Maisie took her glass from the table with two sturdy hands, her brow furrowed in concentration as she carried it to her room.
Theo gave Willow a pained expression. “You don’t want her to see me.”
Willow was surprised to feel a twinge of sympathy for this stranger in her kitchen. But she barely knew this man. Even if he were Maisie’s father, she had no intention of letting him near Maisie until she knew a lot more about him. “It’s nothing personal, Mr. Moore. It’s just that I don’t know anything about you, or why you’re here.”
“Please, call me Theo. I know that me showing up here must come as a shock. But I can explain everything—why I’ve showed up here so suddenly, and why I’ve stayed away for so long. Just hear me out, and afterward, if you want me to leave, I’ll go. I’m just asking for a chance.”
He’d kept his voice fairly steady, but as a nurse, Willow was used to listening to people in pain. She hadn’t missed the note of anguish in his voice, and it touched her heart. She didn’t know what had brought this man here, but she could see that, to him, it was a matter of desperate importance.
But she couldn’t imagine what would be so important that he had to be here now, in person, when he’d never bothered to contact her before. Unless... Her heart rose in her throat. The clinic had told her that they’d used sperm from a donor who’d had a history of cancer, but they’d assured her it was nonhereditary. But what if there was some other, newly discovered health problem that Theo had come to warn her about? Something that could affect Maisie? She told herself not to panic. Whatever Theo was so desperate to speak about with her might be important, but there was no reason to assume the worst. Not yet, anyway.
He took a manila envelope from underneath the suit coat he’d been holding. As he moved, she thought she noticed again a slight awkwardness, as though he was used to moving with more bulk. Another worry crossed her mind: Was he here because something had changed with his own health? Had the cancer, perhaps, returned? His skin was so pale. On the beach, she’d thought he had the look of someone recovering from a long illness, and now, as she examined him with a professional eye, she wondered if that illness had been quite recent. Or perhaps was still ongoing. Despite having just met Theo, she felt a pang of concern for him. She might not know him at all, but his hazel eyes seemed so kind. Now that he was sitting across from her, he was close enough that she could make out flecks of gold in them.
Shocked as she was to see him here, she had only to look at him to see that he’d been through some suffering. And yet, she couldn’t help noticing that for all his awkwardness his hands were steady and graceful as he opened the manila envelope and removed several documents. His eyes met hers, and their expression was hopeful, but determined. And he’d come such a long way. It couldn’t hurt, she thought, to at least find out why he was here.
“All right, Mr. Moore,” she said, gently emphasizing her use of his last name. “Why don’t you start by proving that you’re who you say you are.”
His relief was palpable. “Easy enough,” he said, handing her the documents from the envelope.
She took the papers with trembling hands, and spread them before her on the table.
Among other things, there were letters from the fertility clinic where she’d undergone treatments explaining the whole mix-up: how they’d intended to use sperm from a vetted donor, but had accidentally used Theo’s frozen sperm instead. She remembered those letters all too well. She’d received very similar letters herself, with their apologies and explanations.
Willow remembered how shocked she’d been upon first learning that the clinic could make such a mistake. If she’d have wanted to she could have pursued legal action, but in the end, she’d decided that having a healthy baby was all that mattered, all she wanted. She didn’t need to complicate that. And Theo’s choice not to get in touch made that even easier. Once she’d learned that the insemination had been successful, she’d even given the clinic permission to contact Theo. And again, when Maisie was born, she’d given her permission for Theo to meet her. But he’d never responded.
Although she could see that the clinic had followed through: the envelope held a copy of the letter to Theo, informing him that he was the father of a healthy baby girl. There was even a copy of an ultrasound picture that she recognized. She had the original picture, framed, in her bedroom.
Even if Theo hadn’t brought along all of this documentation, Willow would have known that he was telling the truth about being Maisie’s father. All she had to do was look at Maisie. The little girl shared so many features with Theo that seeing him was like seeing the missing pieces of a puzzle. Willow kept her eyes fixed on the documents: there was a copy of a photo ID of Theo, a work badge that identified him as a research oncologist at Regent’s Hospital in London. He had longer hair in the picture, which made the features that he and Maisie shared even more evident. Willow had always thought that Maisie got her wavy hair from her, but the color, a light, sandy brown, was clearly Theo’s. And Maisie’s height—now there was another mystery solved. At three years old, Maisie was already half a head taller than every child in her preschool class, and as she took in Theo’s frame, Willow could see why.
Theo was, indeed, Maisie’s father.
Or at least, he was her biological father. He was a sperm donor, she reminded herself. Not a father.
She looked again at Theo’s work badge from Regent’s Hospital. “You’re an oncologist?”
“Yes. I mainly do research, though I like to work with patients when I can. But there’ve been certain...unexpected changes that made clinical work difficult. In a way, I suppose that’s how this all starts.”
“Go on,” she said.
“About four years ago, I was diagnosed with melanoma. That’s why I froze my sperm in the first place. My doctors advised that I take that step because chemotherapy can sometimes have an effect on fertility. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a father, so freezing my sperm was a safeguard.”
Pieces were beginning to fall into place. She’d known, from the staff at the fertility clinic, that Theo had cancer, but his choosing not to get in touch meant she had no idea how he might have been getting on. And looking at Theo now, it was clear that the cancer wasn’t far behind him. She estimated he was about thirty pounds underweight for his height and frame, and his sandy brown hair was quite short, as though it were just starting to grow back. She couldn’t help feeling sympathetic. Cancer could be devastating, and the treatment took almost as much of a toll on the body as the illness itself.
“When I got the call from the clinic, informing me of the mix-up, I didn’t know how to feel,” he continued. “At first, I was outraged. It was such a grave mistake on their part. But then, as I got used to the idea, I realized that it might be for the best.”
For the best? For a moment, she wondered if the Caribbean heat was affecting him. But then she recalled all the times she’d had that very same thought over the past three years. The mix-up was for the best, because if things had happened any other way, she wouldn’t have Maisie.
But Theo couldn’t have that perspective. He’d barely met Maisie, by his own choice. “How could you think such a serious mistake was for the best?” she asked.
“I know it sounds strange. But I’d always wanted to have children, and at the time, there was no way for me to be certain of whether that would ever happen. It might not have been how I’d ever pictured becoming a father, but it meant the world to me to know that she existed.”
This definitely didn’t fit with the impression of Theo she’d formed over the past three years. She’d pictured a man who wanted to put the clinic’s mistake as far behind him as possible, dealing with the situation by ignoring it, and eager to avoid any commitment she might ask of him. He certainly didn’t need to worry about that: legally, he had no claim to Maisie; his name wasn’t on her birth certificate. His lack of contact with her had informed that decision. Willow needed nothing from him. But he spoke as though Maisie meant everything to him, even though he’d chosen not to know her.
She wondered if she would have felt differently if she’d known he was fighting cancer all this time. But that, she thought, was the heart of the problem. Theo had never reached out to explain his situation at all, until now.
“I wish I had known all this sooner,” she said. “The fertility clinic told me about your medical history, but that didn’t explain why you didn’t reach out. As I never heard from you, even after you’d had two opportunities to be involved, I assumed you either didn’t want a child, or didn’t want Maisie.” She tried to keep the note of accusation out of her voice. She sympathized with Theo’s situation, she really did, but part of her wondered...what kind of man ignored his own child for three years? Even under the most extenuating circumstances?
“I can see why you might think that,” he said, his voice tinged with emotion. “I hadn’t planned to be involved, even though I wanted to be there very much. Staying away from Maisie is one of the biggest regrets of my life.”
“Then why didn’t you ever try to meet her? You could have explained your situation at any time during the past three years.”
He gave an emphatic shake of his head. “No, I couldn’t. It was hard enough being sick. I couldn’t stand the thought of an innocent child—my child—being exposed to that much stress. And if treatment didn’t...go well, then I didn’t want to put my child through the grief of losing a parent.”
He seemed to be trying to speak with a casual air, but Willow noticed the catch in Theo’s voice as he acknowledged the possibility that treatment might not have been successful. There was so much unpredictability over the course of cancer treatment, so many times where all anyone could do was wait to see what happened next. Theo had been afraid for his life, she realized, and he’d had to make a difficult choice.
“I can’t imagine what it would be like, to deal with cancer and then to learn you’d unexpectedly had a child,” she said. “You made the decision you thought was best. So why come here now, after all this time?”
“Because I’m finally in remission. I started looking for you and Maisie as soon as I learned the good news.”
A wave of relief washed over her upon hearing the word remission, and she realized she’d been anxious to know if his treatment had been successful. The relief she felt was real, even though she’d only known him a few moments.
But her thoughts were in turmoil. Everything Theo said was in direct opposition to the assumptions she’d made about him over the past three years. On the rare occasions she’d thought of Theo, it had been with cynicism and some resentment for his complete lack of interest in Maisie. It wasn’t that she necessarily wanted his involvement; it was simply that his apparent dismissal of her daughter amounted to a rejection of the person she held most dear in the world. And now she was learning that his circumstances hadn’t been what she’d thought they were. For if what Theo said was true, then he hadn’t been ignoring Maisie. He’d been trying to protect her.
And now, three years later, he was in remission, and he was here, hoping for...what exactly? Did he expect to have any sort of relationship with Maisie? His next words confirmed her fears.
“I want to get to know my daughter,” he said. “I know I have no legal recourse, but I am her father, and I came here hoping to find some way to be involved in her life.”
She was overtaken by a wave of feelings, including protectiveness toward Maisie, and jealousy at the thought of anyone else involved in their close bond. When she’d become pregnant, she’d never imagined sharing Maisie with anyone else. The thought of having another parent involved in her daughter’s life was completely at odds with everything she’d envisioned for the future. She certainly hadn’t imagined having to deal with a man she barely knew arriving, unannounced, and declaring himself the father of her child. Not someone who, while pale and underweight, also had a devastatingly handsome smile and a pair of clear, hazel eyes that reminded her of the green and gold pebbles in the tide pools on the beach outside her home.
But no matter how interesting Theo’s eyes were, his presence on the island would only be distracting for her, and for Maisie. Theo was a complicating factor that they didn’t need.
Her life was proceeding just as she’d planned, and she didn’t need any surprises now. Theo was right: he had no legal standing as Maisie’s father. His name wasn’t on her birth certificate. If she told him to leave, he’d have to go.
But Theo seemed so hopeful, and he’d been through so much. A part of her wished she could tell him that after all he’d been through, of course he was welcome into her and Maisie’s lives. But however much she might sympathize with his situation, it didn’t change the consequences of his decision. She had to think of her daughter first. Theo Moore was, by his own choice, a complete stranger to Maisie, despite their biological connection.
Still, he’d been in such an awful position, suffering all the uncertainty that came with facing a deadly illness. She didn’t want to crush him completely, especially when he’d been in such a hard situation. She decided to let him down as gently as possible.
“I can understand why you feel it’s important to get to know Maisie,” she said. “It sounds as though it was very hard for you to stay away from her, although you did ultimately make the choice not to be involved.”
“Because I wanted to spare her from any grief.”
“I understand you were trying to do what you thought was right. But...it doesn’t change the fact that Maisie is three years old now, and has no idea who you are. How would you even explain your relationship to her?”
His jaw tightened. “I’m her father.”
“You might see it that way, but how can she? She doesn’t know you at all.”
“Which is exactly why I’m here. To form a relationship with her. To be the father I haven’t been able to be all this time.”
“But how would that even work? Practically speaking, I mean. Maisie and I have our lives here, on St. Victoria. Your life is waiting for you back in London. Four thousand miles away.”
“I will find a way to make it work. I came here planning to do whatever it takes to be in my daughter’s life.”
“I can appreciate your determination, Mr. Moore. But you aren’t thinking through the practicalities. How long were you even planning to stay in the Caribbean?”
“My return ticket is open-ended. I can stay for as long as necessary.”
“But how long were you planning to stay?”
“I wasn’t sure how you’d react to my arrival here. I thought perhaps...a week?”
“And then what? You’d fly back to London, while Maisie grows up here. You’d see her, perhaps, once or twice a year. I don’t want to be harsh, Mr. Moore, but I have to protect my daughter, and I don’t want her getting attached to someone who’s just going to leave after a few days. And I really don’t want her to get the impression that a father is someone who visits once a year.”
“Then I suppose the way forward is clear. There’s no other choice, really.”
She breathed out in relief, glad that he could see how impractical it all was.
“I’ll simply have to move to St. Victoria.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t just decide to move to the Caribbean on a moment’s notice.”
“Why not? You decided to move here yourself.”
“Yes, but I had researched positions abroad for nearly a year, and then chose the situation that I thought would be best for raising my daughter.”
“And I’m trying to do the same. I’ve spent the past three years trying to do what’s best for my child by staying away from her. And now that I’m finally in remission, I’m not going to waste my chance to be part of her life. This isn’t an impulsive decision, it’s an easy decision.”
Theo was either reckless, crazy or...or, perhaps, he was as desperate to be involved in his daughter’s life as he claimed to be.
He could also simply be telling her what he thought she wanted to hear, just as Jamie had. But Jamie’s eyes had never blazed with determination the way Theo’s did now, and his jaw had never been set with the same firmness.
She’d trusted Jamie, because she’d known him for years. But even though he’d said he wanted children, he’d never taken any action to back up his words. Theo, though, had tracked her down with limited information, and had flown four thousand miles with nothing more than hope for a chance to know his daughter. And even though it was hard to reconcile his presence now with his decision to stay away for so long, having cancer was one hell of an extenuating circumstance.
But could she trust him to be reliable? To be a suitable person for her daughter to have in her life? Without knowing him at all, how could she be certain of anything?
She thought it over for a long moment. Finally, she asked, “Why is Maisie so important to you?”
“What do you mean, ‘why’? She’s my child.”
“But do you know for certain that she’s your only chance to have a child? Now that you’re in remission, you could take a fertility test. Suppose you learned you could have other children? Would you really want to spend your life on a small island in the Caribbean, when there might be other options for you?”
He held her gaze for a long moment. “First of all, regardless of any children I might have in the future, Maisie is here now. Even if I were to have other children, she’d still be my daughter, and I’d still be determined to have a relationship with her, in whatever capacity you might allow.
“Second, the results of a fertility test won’t be reliable until I’ve been in remission for at least a year. I don’t know if Maisie is the only child I’ll ever have, or if I’ll get another chance. But I don’t need to wait another year to decide if I want to know my daughter. I’ve already had three years to think about her growing up without me, and I won’t spend another minute without her if I can help it.
“And third, even though I haven’t been with Maisie, she’s been with me. Or at least, the idea of her has. Even though it was painful to think of her growing up without me, knowing that she was out there got me through some of the hardest days of my life. No matter what happens in the future, Maisie will always be important to me.”
Willow almost believed that he meant every word. Almost. She had misgivings about whether he understood the commitment involved in being a parent, and whether he’d thought through what it would mean to make a permanent move to the Caribbean.
But he seemed determined to give it a try.
He’d had two chances to be involved in Maisie’s life, and both times she’d thought his absence had spoken volumes. Could she give him a third chance? Especially now that she knew everything he’d gone through, just to be here, at her kitchen table?
His presence was a complication that she didn’t want in her life. But something prevented her from telling Theo to leave. Maybe it was the sympathy she felt for all he’d been through. Maybe it was the determination in his voice and his expression. Or maybe, in spite of all the alarm bells going off in her mind, she wasn’t done appreciating the exact shade of hazel in Theo’s eyes.
Whatever the reason, she found herself saying, “If you’re going to stay here, you’ll need to find a job.”
“I’m an oncologist.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m a nurse myself. But oncology is a profession, not a job. How are you going to earn a living here on St. Victoria? You’ll need to have something that pays a salary and gives you a reason to stay here.”
“Maisie is my reason for staying here.”
“That’s fine for right now, but what about next week? Next year? Island life isn’t for everyone, and St. Victoria is small. How long before you get tired of the beach and start to miss your family and friends? How long before you start to resent Maisie for keeping you away from other work opportunities, other life opportunities, that you could have in London?”
“That would never happen.”
Willow’s mouth became a firm line. “The job is a deal-breaker. I need to know that you could see yourself living here long-term.”
“You don’t trust easily, do you?”
“Where my child is concerned, I don’t trust anyone unless I have a good reason.”
“Done. I’ll get a job.”
“And somewhere at least semipermanent to live.”
“I’ll start looking immediately.”
Willow couldn’t help but be impressed by his confidence. “I hope you understand where I’m coming from,” she said. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m so glad you’re in remission. But you’re a virtual stranger, and you’re asking to be involved in my daughter’s life. I can’t risk her getting attached to someone who just wants to be around once in a while. Children need stability. Consistency.”
His gaze pierced her from across the table. “And what about what you need?”
She felt disoriented, her heart and stomach doing jumping jacks together. Who cared about what she needed? As long as Maisie was taken care of, that was all that mattered. Except, when she looked into his hazel eyes, she felt a need that had nothing to do with groceries and roof repairs and everything to do with a growing warmth that she’d felt since the moment Theo entered the room.
“I have everything I need,” she said curtly.
“What about financial support? You could at least let me help pay for Maisie’s schooling, or for any necessities.” He looked around the house, as though searching for any repairs he could offer to finance.
“We don’t need money. My salary more than covers everything. All I need from you, Mr. Moore, is for you to show that you’re someone who can be dependable. In case Maisie ever needs to depend on you.”
“She can. I’ll prove to her, and to you, that she can.”
Willow hoped, from the bottom of her heart, that he was telling her the truth.
* * *
“You know what? I think that went about as well as could be expected. All things considered, I think you should feel good about this, Theo. I really do.”
Theo pressed his hand to his temples, grateful that his twin sister, Becca, couldn’t see the pained expression on his face over the phone. Ever the optimist, Becca had a tendency to stretch reality at times in her determination to put a positive spin on things. Her hopeful attitude had been helpful while he was battling some of his worst days with cancer. But her determination to look on the bright side of life meant that she sometimes didn’t understand the magnitude of the obstacles he was facing.
He was back in his room at the Harbor Hotel, a charming, hacienda-style inn filled with tourists. He’d called Becca as soon as he could to tell her about his conversation with Willow. Of all his siblings, only Becca knew that Theo had gone to St. Victoria in search of his daughter, or that he even had a daughter. When Theo had learned he was a father, even though he’d wanted to shout that news from the rooftops, he decided against telling his family because he knew they’d want to be involved. It had been hard enough for Theo not to make contact with his daughter, knowing that if he did, he could potentially put her through the grief of losing a parent at an early age. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to withstand additional pressure from his family if they felt he should make contact. And so he’d only shared the news with Becca, the person he trusted most to respect his feelings.
But he wasn’t quite sure he agreed with her assessment of what had passed between him and Willow. “You think it went well, even though the mother of my child isn’t sure she wants to let me into my own daughter’s life?”
“I think it’s a good sign that she wants you to show you can be consistent and stable first. She wants to know that you’re serious about this. Now it’s only a matter of time before she sees that you want the best for your child, same as she does. You can’t blame her for being careful. I’d feel the same if it were my own child.”
He knew Becca was right. But part of him had hoped that, somehow, Willow would trust him right away. He ached to get to know his daughter better. When Willow had invited him inside for lemonade, his heart had skipped a beat as Maisie had casually slipped her hand into his. His daughter’s hand. There was nothing on earth that would stop him from holding her hand again.
“It’s just that when I saw my daughter today...” He paused, trying to gain control over his emotions. “It made everything so real. Everything the cancer took from me.”
“But now you get to take it all back, one step at a time. Starting with the most important part of all—Maisie. Cute name, by the way.”
“I like it, too.”
“So what’s the mum like?”
“She’s a nurse. She seems nice, but I think I overwhelmed her by showing up so suddenly. We exchanged our contact information, so I’ll call her as soon as I have a firm job offer and a place to live.”
“That could take a while. Don’t you want to call her a little sooner, just to keep her updated?”
“No. I think I should give her some space, so we can get to know each other gradually. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“What does she look like?”
“She’s beautiful,” said Theo before he could stop himself. He instantly wished he hadn’t said it. It was a sure way to get Becca to start making assumptions about Willow that had no basis in reality.
“Whoa.”
“No, don’t get any ideas. I wasn’t trying to imply anything, I was just stating a fact. I just meant that she happens to be objectively beautiful.” And friendly, and warm. Something about her demeanor had instantly put Theo at ease, nervous as he’d been about making his first impression. And she was beautiful. The waves of her rich, dark brown hair had framed her face in a way that made him long to pull her silky tresses through his fingers.
But he was here to meet his daughter, and nothing more. The situation was already complicated enough. Whatever attraction he might feel for Willow would have to be ignored.
“Look, I know you’re hesitant to get back into the dating pool, but you can’t put it off forever,” Becca said. “You’ve always wanted a family. And so unless you want to find someone else who agrees to make use of the rest of the sample you stored in that sperm bank four years ago, you’ll have to go on a date eventually.”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I’m not interested in dating anyone, least of all the woman who determines whether or not I’m able to see my own child. Besides, I still look...well, you’ve seen me. You know how I look.”
“Theo. You look fine.”
But he couldn’t believe it. Every time Theo glimpsed himself in the mirror, it was a shock to see how much his body had changed as a result of his illness and treatment. He’d lost over thirty pounds, and his frame, he thought, looked positively gaunt. His skin was pallid, and his sandy hair had only just started to grow back in the past few months. He couldn’t imagine that he would be an appealing prospect for anyone, let alone someone like Willow.
“Your body will adjust back to its old self in no time, now that you’re not going through treatment anymore. And any woman shallow enough to let your appearance keep her from seeing your personality probably isn’t someone who’s right for you.”
He wanted to appreciate Becca’s loyalty, but she couldn’t know how it felt for him to see his own body change so much over the past few years. Thinking about dating and relationships was the last thing he needed right now.
“There’s actually something I have to ask you,” he said, hoping a swift change of subject would distract Becca from her interest in his love life. “I really hate to put you in this position, but I need to borrow some money.”
“Don’t give it a second thought,” she said. “Just let me know how much you need, and I’ll get it to you.”
He hated having to rely on his sister for money. It wasn’t that he thought Becca would say no. She was a successful financier, and had readily offered her support during his illness. But having to ask for her help was one more reminder of all that the cancer had taken from him. It had been nearly impossible to hold a steady job over the past few years. As an oncologist with a strong research background, he was always able to find a job when he was healthy enough to work. But keeping his bank account in order hadn’t been easy. He had enough to support himself, but not enough to find a house in the Caribbean on short notice.
“I’ll need at least enough to put down for a few months’ rent,” he said.
“Of course. And you should get a long-term lease. The mum needs to know you’re committed.”
“But what if—”
“Theo, no. No more what-ifs. You can’t put everything on hold because of what might happen. None of us knows how long we have. Look at Dad. Look at you. We’ve all got to live while we can, which in your case means borrowing some money from your fantastically well-to-do twin sister so you can find a suitable place to live.”
“I’ll start paying you back as soon as I get a job,” he said. He hoped St. Victoria needed oncologists. Not that it mattered. He’d take whatever job he could find if it meant he could be with his daughter.
“I know you will. But in the meantime, I’m actually glad you asked. I think it’s good for you to ask for some support once in a while, instead of trying to face everything by yourself.”
“Thanks, Becca. I’ll repay you for...for everything. Someday. I swear.”
“Hey. What are savings accounts for, if not to help your brother move to a Caribbean island? Don’t worry about money right now. Just focus on getting your life back to where it’s supposed to be. Get things settled with your daughter so I can come and meet her.”
“Thanks,” he said again, and hung up the phone.
Becca was the only person in his family he’d spoken to in several days, with the result that when he finally checked his phone, there’d been seventeen voice mails waiting for his response. As he’d spent the past week traveling and tracking Willow down, he hadn’t spared much time for returning calls. Now, he had messages from his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and various cousins, all eager to know where he was, what his availability was like for upcoming holidays and whether he had a moment to chat. So far, the only message he’d returned was Becca’s. He’d probably have to delete the rest and apologize for not responding later.
He scrolled through his call history and saw that not all the voice mails were from family. There were several from his medical care team, as well. He played the next message to hear the concerned voice of his primary doctor.
“We’re all so glad to see you’re in remission, but the fight isn’t over yet. Get in touch with me as soon as you can so we can schedule your first year of follow-up appointments.”
He knew he should return the call, but he wasn’t ready to return to talking about cancer yet. Cancer had taken up so much of his time and attention over the past four years. He wanted a moment to himself, to absorb the reality: he’d met his daughter. He’d laid eyes on her, talked with her, seen that she was real. And perfect.
Oddly, though he tried to focus on Maisie, he found that his thoughts kept drifting to Willow. He hadn’t wanted to tell Becca, because he knew she’d get carried away, but there had been something about Willow’s warmth that had made Theo feel instantly connected to her, even as she had explained her reservations about allowing him in Maisie’s life. She’d been frank and straightforward about what she needed with him, and why. There was something about her that made him feel she was innately trustworthy.
Openness was a trait Theo admired in people, because he was terrible at it himself. Growing up in such a large family had made it difficult to have any privacy, let alone any secrets. As soon as one person found something out, everyone else knew. Some of his family took this in their stride, but Theo had always been more guarded than his siblings. As a child, he’d always hated it when something important happened to him and one of his siblings spread the news first, or when family gossip distorted actual events. He was quieter than his siblings, keeping most of his feelings to himself, with the exception of Becca. He’d been lucky that he had a twin to confide in. He and Becca had always been fiercely protective of one another’s privacy.
And there were times when he did want privacy, so very much. He’d been diagnosed with cancer shortly after his father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which had devastated his mother and siblings. His father was doing well so far, but Theo knew, when he’d been diagnosed, that he couldn’t put his family through the threat of another loss. Not when there was so much to do surrounding Dad’s care, and when his mother needed so much support. He’d downplayed the extent of his cancer as much as he could. It was just a touch of melanoma. There was a high survival rate, and no need to worry.
Only Becca had seen past Theo’s lighthearted demeanor and recognized it as a coping mechanism. She hadn’t pressed him to talk about his illness any more than he was ready to, but she’d stayed over at his apartment on the long nights when the side effects of the treatment were bad, and she called and checked in on him often. She always claimed she was just calling to say hello, but he knew better.
Even though it was hard for him to let people in, he was grateful he’d had Becca. And if he’d chosen to, he’d have had the support of his other family members, as well. He simply hadn’t wanted to cause his family any more distress. They had enough to deal with in managing his father’s care.
He wondered what had it been like for Willow to be a single mother for these past three years. Had she had anyone to turn to when she needed support? Had she wanted anyone?
Her green eyes had seemed to light up when she’d first seen him, not knowing who he was, but simply wanting to welcome a stranger and show him kindness. He wondered what it would take to get her eyes to light up like that again.
First things first. A house, a job and then...some sort of plan for his new life in St. Victoria.
He hadn’t expected that his stay here would be permanent, but he’d meant it when he’d told Willow earlier that it was an easy decision. His choice had been made the moment he felt the warmth of Maisie’s hand in his. If his daughter lived here, then so did he. He was used to life changing suddenly and unexpectedly. At least this time, the changes were in a direction that offered something good.
He decided he could wait until later to return his doctor’s call. He deleted the voice mail, stuck the phone in his back pocket and went to ask the hotel concierge about where he could find a good real estate agent.