Bells

BELLS RANG IN MY HEAD like the falling snow

Bells rang in my head and no one could halt them

And I said to myself when will these bells cease

and I said to my wife dear wife dear wife when will the bells stop

please stop them and snow falls in Jerusalem and in my home only rain

and I see my wife walking in Paris lying with a foreign man

she regrets it but she doesn't tell me

And I went to the Belgian woman born in England and living in Jerusalem

who was tall and beautiful and said to her: I will marry you

you will purify me and I will learn Torah and the bells, the bells,

and then I went to red-haired Rabbi and said to him all is vanity

literature is vanity of vanities medicine is vanity and vanity all my life

and now I cry before you that I want to suffer the world of Torah

to ache to cry and to suffer and to die please let me die in the tent of Torah

and he threw me strongly from his coat and from his yeshiva to the street and

all this time they distribute the loot all the time two thousand shekels for me

and again several hours later they redistribute the loot and money flows endlessly, every drop is golden and bells in my head and more loot is distributed and I call my wife and say to her why don't they stop the bells

night falls and my wife does not answer

she brings me pure water from Shiloah's spring and the water is so clean

I see in it the angel Gabriel and say to him

my death is better my death is better than life in this world I know you have to repair yourself but if I was allowed

to chose I give up on all repair now and every moment

I give up on the beauty of my children and leave

but I knew this was a game and that I will continue and

live and bear the journey many years to testify before the people

and thereafter a woman came with a white transparent shirt and said, of course,

and I said of course what, and she said of course you don't

win the prizes and they don't publish you, you are far too pure,

they immediately see that no amount of wealth that for no honor in the world

you will not lie they see that they will not be able to buy you even if they cover you with gold and you brighten as a glamour light for them in the darkness

and when they see that in vain they have shouted they are afraid and all the time

the bells in my head and they keep distributing the loot and

I always receive more than all the others thousands of shekels,

buy and sell and I receive more than all of them and

then all the lamps begin to wither like tired trees

and I try to seize them all try to prevent them from reaching the floor

because there is a big danger in it and I run from lamp to lamp

without success and the lamps fall and rain falls again inside the house

and spoils

the records and bells ringing in my head four thoughts at once

and I cannot control my head thinking like fever and again they distribute

and again bells ringing is in my head and then the voice said

evening will bring sleep and weeping and morning will bring joy

and the warm hand caresses me, holds me as an infant

and puts me in the cradle to sleep.