Chapter Twenty-Three

‘Afternoon, Tyler,’ Hibs said as Beth wandered into the lab. ‘You okay?’

It was nearly lunchtime. Once she’d fallen asleep, Beth had slept through her alarm. ‘Overslept,’ she said. Her eyes felt like they were full of gravel and her head hurt. This was nothing compared to the pain she felt inside. But at least now she knew she wasn’t going mad. She avoided eye contact with Hibs and shrugged on her lab coat.

‘I set up your cultures for you this morning,’ Hibs said. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were coming in or not.’

‘Sorry, like I said, I overslept.’

‘I’m not surprised,’ he replied. ‘I’m having trouble staying awake nowadays.’ He leaned his elbows on her bench. ‘Tell you what, when all this is finished, you and I both deserve to sleep for a week.’

‘Hmm.’ Beth examined her lab book and tried to remember what she was supposed to be doing.

‘Beth? Is everything okay?’

She turned to find him watching her, his eyes hooded with worry, and she wondered what he’d say if he knew. It would be so shameful to admit the extent to which he had been right. Hibs was one of the few people who still thought well of her. She couldn’t lose him. ‘Yes,’ she lied. ‘I’m fine. Thanks.’

Hibs looked like he was about to argue, but his mobile phone rang. He raised an eyebrow at Beth by way of apology and answered it.

When Hibs had turned away, Beth returned to her diary. She’d written ‘black tie dinner with Gordon’. Shit. She’d completely forgotten that she’d said she’d go to this bloody dinner with him. The meal would be okay, but afterwards … What happened when he wanted sex? She thought of their last encounter and goosebumps appeared on her flesh. She didn’t want to sleep with him. It was too scary. But could she really refuse him?

She pulled her list out of her pocket. She needed to be sure that she wasn’t just being paranoid. First, she needed to check on her bacteria. She grabbed a pair of gloves and set off to the hot room.

Beth found the job vacancies section on the university website and searched for post-doctoral roles in the biology department. Gordon had said it was right in his field of interest, phylogeny, but she thought she’d look at them all, just in case. He’d said he’d just applied, which meant the closing date couldn’t have been more than a week ago. She set the search criteria to cover two weeks before and two ahead – four job vacancies came up. She scrolled through. None of them seemed appropriate.

She found the website for Gordon’s current supervisor, in case the work there might link to any of the vacancies. No.

Hibs came in.

‘Hibs. If you have the perfect candidate for a job, would you be able to give it to them without advertising the post?’

‘Not here. HR rules. You have to advertise,’ Hibs said. ‘Why? Is Roger feeding you some crap about giving a postdoc to someone?’

‘No, just wondered.’

She turned back to her screen. So, no job. He’d lied about that too. She wondered why.

‘Why are you looking for a job in Biology?’ Hibs was reading over her shoulder.

Beth shut the browser down. ‘I wasn’t. I was just … nosing around.’

Hibs narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you want to work down the corridor from Gordon?’

‘No.’ She recognised that look. He was going to start quizzing her again. Ordinarily, she would have told him her suspicions, but she couldn’t trust him to be objective. He hated Gordon. If she gave him an excuse to doubt him, he’d jump on it. ‘I’m going for coffee. Want one?’

She returned, balancing three mugs on a plastic tray, to find Hibs pleading with someone on the phone.

‘Please, mate. Greg’s not well and I’m working in the lab tonight. I’ll do both the classes next week.’ He listened, his frown deepening, and then sighed. ‘No, no. I understand. I’ll think of something. Don’t worry, mate. Give my love to Gill. You have a good time.’ He hung up and sighed again.

‘Problems?’ Beth handed him his tea. It was nice to see that she wasn’t the only one with problems. Since Hibs had split up with Anna, he was getting grumpier.

‘Sort of,’ said Hibs. ‘Greg’s got the flu and Howard’s got to go to parents’ evening, so there’s no one to do this evening’s karate class. And Vik’s off at some family do, so I can’t palm the experiments off on him.’

‘Ah.’ It was Hibs’s night on the microscopes. She thought of her planned evening with Gordon. She didn’t want to go – perhaps, this was the excuse she needed. ‘I’ll do it,’ she said.

‘What, take a karate class?’ He was smiling at her now. Somehow it made him look even more tired.

‘No, wally. Your evening readings.’

‘That’s not fair. It’s your night off.’

‘I don’t mind.’

‘What about Gordon?’

She shrugged, in what she hoped was a nonchalant way. ‘He won’t mind.’

Hibs’s gaze explored her face. There was hope in his eyes. ‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes. Enough already. I said I’d do it.’

‘Thanks, Beth. You’re a real star. I owe you one.’ He smiled at her again and looked so relieved she had to fight the urge to hug him. ‘Tell you what, if you can do the ten o’clock reading, I’ll do the early-morning ones.’

‘Sure.’ Beth smiled back at him. It felt strange, smiling. She hadn’t done that in days now. Hibs thought she was a good person. He didn’t think she was a useless nutjob. She needed to hang on to that.

And she needed to get on with her list.

Beth stood next to a potted plant as she waited for Dan Blackwood, ready to duck behind the plant if Gordon showed up. She would have preferred to have met elsewhere, but Dan was busy and this was the only time he could fit it in. She could tell he didn’t really want to talk to her, but she had been persistent. Through the leaves of the plant, she saw Dan striding out to reception. She stepped out and smiled.

‘Hi, Dan. Thanks for agreeing to see me.’

‘That’s okay. It’s the least I can do. I’m just going to grab a coffee,’ he said. ‘Want one?’

‘No thanks.’ She followed him into the big atrium. The Biology building had been refurbished a few years back and now included a small conservatory that served as a coffee shop. She glanced around nervously and was relieved that Gordon wasn’t there. He would normally have swimming training about now, but she wasn’t sure he even went any more. She had even more reason than Dan to want to keep this brief.

‘I was wondering,’ said Dan. ‘Could you sell me some prints of the photo you took? My wife likes it.’

She was surprised that he wanted the photo, but pleased that he thought it good enough to pay money for. It also meant he owed her a favour. ‘Sure. E-mail me what you want and I’ll send you a quote.’ In a flutter of panic she realised she had no idea what she should charge for them. Not the normal high prices photographers charged, obviously, because she was still an amateur. But if Dan thought the photos were worth paying for … perhaps she should charge something approaching the going rate. How did you decide? Who could she ask?

Dan led her to a table at the far end. ‘So, what did you want to talk to me about?’ he said, forcing her to focus on her more immediate problem.

‘I’m here about the calendar.’ She put her hand up as Dan started to protest. ‘No, I’m not going to try and persuade you to come back: I respect your decision. I just want to know why.’

‘I told you, I didn’t think my wife would like it.’

‘We discussed that before and you were okay with it. What made you change your mind?’

Dan stirred his tea, not meeting her eye.

‘Dan?’

‘You’re right,’ said Dan. ‘We were okay with it at the start, but I was chatting to one of my colleagues and he said that people were already talking about it and everyone saw your calendar as guys advertising themselves as available.’

‘Okay. Could you tell me which colleague?’ She leaned forward. ‘Just so that I can have a chat with them and find out why he thinks that.’

‘Oh, he said his girlfriend wouldn’t let him apply to go in.’

Beth breathed out. Okay. So it wasn’t Gordon.

Feeling she had to stick to her original story, she said, ‘It’s a shame that she feels that way. Could you tell me who they are? Just so that I can set the record straight.’

‘Okay. My friend is Gordon Kettering. His girlfriend is Mila … I forget her last name. It’s something Eastern European.’

The words were like ice down her spine. Beth sat frozen for a moment before stuttering, ‘G-Gordon Kettering?’

‘You know him?’

Pull yourself together, Beth. With some effort, she managed to keep her features neutral. ‘I know Gordon. I didn’t know he had … a … er … girlfriend.’

‘They haven’t been together very long, I don’t think,’ said Dan. ‘He’s only around for a few months anyway, so I don’t think it’s serious. I don’t know much about this stuff, anyhow. Gossip about colleagues is more my wife’s area.’

‘Yes. I see.’ Suddenly, the little conservatory was too small. Beth stood up. ‘Thank you for your time, Dan. It was very kind of you to see me.’

‘No problem.’ He looked up at her through his mess of hair. ‘I feel bad that I pulled out on you. Have you found a replacement yet?’

‘Yes, we have,’ said Beth. ‘Thanks again.’ She turned and fled before Gordon spotted her there on his home turf.