Nolie glanced at the dashboard clock as she pulled between the lion-headed gate posts at Townsend Manor. “We’re a few minutes late.”
“Looks like a lot of people are fashionably late.” Gabe nodded toward the cars ahead of them that clogged the circular drive.
Her fingers felt damp against the steering wheel. “I don’t know much about this place. No one’s ever invited me to anything here before.”
“There was a piece in the paper about it when the family donated the estate to the city. Supposed to be pretty elegant. The original Townsend made his money in railroads back when that meant you should build the fanciest place you could afford to show how rich you were.”
The house came into view as she pulled around the curving drive toward a portico where uniformed attendants waited to take the car.
“Valet parking, no less.” That just increased her bad case of butterflies. “My van is really going to look out of place in the midst of all those luxury sedans.”
“Hey.” Gabe reached across to clasp her hand in a brief message of support. “When this place was in its heyday, the only Irishman who’d be here would have been a coachman. Times change. You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”
Before she could respond, the attendant was opening her door. She slid out, waiting while Gabe and Max came around the car to join her. He took her arm, his touch sending a shiver sliding along her skin.
“Relax,” he said softly. “It’s just a house.”
She glanced at the cream-and-yellow mansion that loomed over them. A stream of couples moved through the double doors onto a wide expanse of light-splashed marble. The glittering chandelier set up answering sparkles from sequined dresses.
“Trust me, that is not just a house. And these are not just people. Not to a country mouse like me.”
Gabe drew her hand through the crook of his arm, so that it rested on his sleeve. She felt the reassuring strength of him through the smooth fabric of his dark suit.
“We’re here for a reason. Just keep that in mind. At least no one will try to throw Max out tonight.”
His muscles tensed as he spoke, and she knew what he was thinking. He was afraid of having a public seizure in front of all these people.
She wasn’t much better. She was afraid of Brother Joshua leaping out of the crowd to call her a harlot for wearing makeup and a pretty dress. They made quite a pair.
The line of people moved forward, carrying them with it. She took a deep breath. Okay. If Gabe could conquer his demons enough to go through with this, so could she. She had too much at stake to give in to her fears tonight.
But she was glad for the support of Gabe’s arm, pressing against her as they walked into the wide center hallway.
The Townsend place was just as elegant as it looked from the outside. The Townsend family had apparently donated the furnishings along with the house, and a marble-topped sideboard had been pressed into service to hold white place cards bearing names in graceful calligraphy.
Gabe reached out to pluck a card with their names on it from its place. “Table Ten. With a little luck, that won’t be right in the front.”
“I suppose there’s not a chance we’ll actually know anyone at the table.” She hoped she didn’t sound as out of place as she felt.
Gabe shrugged. “You never can tell. Let’s see what it looks like.”
Arm in arm, with Max padding sedately at Gabe’s heels, they followed the crowd through a wide arch-way into a ballroom that ran the length of the building.
“Wow.” She couldn’t find another word.
Elegantly dressed couples mingled across the polished wood floor, finding seats at round, white-linen-covered tables. Candle flames echoed the glittering points of light from crystal chandeliers. Rows of white columns marched down either side of the room, setting off dimly lit alcoves.
Gabe stared at the marble statue of a female form in Greek robes that peered out from the nearest alcove, and then the corner of his mouth lifted. “Looks as if they borrowed this lot from the Parthenon. Or a Hollywood set.”
The humor in his voice lightened her mood. “Funny to think of someone actually living like this, isn’t it?”
He grinned at her. “You mean you wouldn’t trade the chickens and the donkey for a few columns?”
“Not a chance. But I can enjoy it for one night.”
He patted her hand. “That’s right. Just remember, we’re in this together.”
He didn’t mean anything by that. Of course he didn’t. They weren’t really the partners his words had implied. Still, she couldn’t stem the warmth they engendered.
They crossed the room, glancing at table numbers until they found the right table. One glance at the six people already seated sent her nerves chattering again, but Gabe seemed perfectly at ease. Apparently he knew one of the men from some civic organization, which eased the introductions to the rest of them.
Nolie smiled, nodded and slipped into her seat with a silent prayer of thanksgiving for Gabe’s presence. She’d have gotten through this evening alone, if she’d had to, but Gabe certainly made it easier. Maybe she’d be better off not to dwell on why that was.
Superficial conversation flowed around the table. She knew perfectly well that the other people were curious about the dog, but no one was impolite enough to ask. It was almost a relief when the clink of a spoon on glass drew everyone’s attention to the head table.
Her tension peaked. She’d been warned that she would be introduced at this point. Thank heavens no one expected her to say anything—just stand and smile. She could do that.
Samuel Henley beamed around the room as he welcomed everyone as warmly as if they were guests in his private home. He spoke briefly about the work of the foundation and then glanced down at a card on the podium.
“Now I’d like to introduce one of the candidates for this year’s grant. Please welcome Nolie Lang, director of Nolie’s Ark, a program training service animals to assist people with disabilities.”
It’s sinful to call attention to yourself. Sinful.
Somehow she couldn’t totally eliminate the tape of her aunt’s voice that played in the back of her mind. But the quick, hard squeeze of Gabe’s fingers on hers seemed to give her energy as she stood.
She managed a smile as people clapped. They applauded for the program, not for her, but she actually seemed to catch a gleam of admiration in the eyes that were on her.
She sank back into her chair with relief, her gaze meeting Gabe’s. Her breath caught. It was really unfortunate that the only look of admiration that meant anything to her was the one shining in Gabe’s eyes.
* * *
Much to Gabe’s surprise, the evening had actually gone pretty well. Once the meal and the speeches were over, people circulated, chatting. Clearly they assumed, given Nolie’s introduction, that Max was a service dog, but no one asked for what.
Maybe they weren’t even thinking that Max was his service dog. It was possible they thought the dog had been brought for display, and that her human companion was here as Nolie’s date.
He looked at her. She’d begun to relax, apparently realizing that no one was going to chase her out of here. Her eyes sparkled as she explained something about her program to a questioner, but she glanced over the man’s shoulder to meet his eyes, giving him a small, private smile.
His heart jolted. She was just too beautiful for his peace of mind, and the fact that her beauty extended all the way to her soul didn’t help any. He had to remind himself that his purpose tonight was to help Nolie without getting too close.
A jazz quartet was playing in the corner, and couples had begun to move onto the dance floor. Nolie made her way to his side. She nodded toward the dancers.
“What do you say? Claire dragged me to ballroom dance classes a couple of years ago, but I’ve never had a chance to practice what I learned.”
Holding Nolie in his arms was certainly not the best way to keep his distance. But she was looking at him with stars shining in her eyes, and he didn’t want to disappoint her.
“What will Max do while we dance?” He tried for a light touch. “You know you’re his best girl. He might be jealous.”
Max looked up at the sound of his name and gave them a wide doggy grin.
“He’ll have to get along without me when he goes home with his partner, anyway.” She was obviously being careful not to make assumptions about Max going home with him. “I’ll probably be the one who does most of the missing.”
Her words touched his heart. “It’s hard to say goodbye to animals you’ve come to love.”
“It’s part of the job.” Her eyes were shadowed for a moment. Maybe she was thinking that she had to say goodbye to people she’d learned to love, as well. “Just tell him to stay.”
“Stay, Max.”
He shouldn’t hold Nolie in his arms. He was going to. He held out his hand to her and led her onto the dance floor.
They moved smoothly, as if they’d danced together many times before and would again. She was warm and sweet in his arms, and when she looked at him his breath caught at her beauty.
They circled the room slowly to the music, feet whispering on the polished floor. The other couples faded to a moving background against which he and Nolie danced, lost in each other’s eyes. He could feel the movement of her breathing through the hand he pressed against her back, and even their breathing was in tandem.
They moved between two of the pillars, out of the stream of dancers for the moment. His steps slowed, and he lifted his hand to touch the strand of pale gold hair that lay against her shoulder.
“Beautiful. You know that, don’t you?”
Instead of a smile, something dark and pained crossed her face. She shook her head in a short, choppy movement.
He drew her a little closer. “Nolie? What is it? What did I say?”
“Nothing.”
But it was something. He could see that. “You can tell me. Please.”
She glanced toward the dancers. “Not here.”
French doors stood open behind them, letting a warm spring breeze into the room. Clasping her hand, he pulled her through the opening onto a dimly lit veranda.
“Now tell me.” He wasn’t sure what pushed him. He only knew he had to erase that pain from her eyes if he could.
She put a hand up to her hair. “I shouldn’t let it bother me after all this time. I don’t even know why I thought of it.”
The words were dismissive, but the pain wasn’t. It throbbed like a wound under her voice, and he knew he was right to push the issue.
“Because it still hurts. Tell me what they did to you.”
She turned away as if she didn’t want to look at him, her profile delicately beautiful in the moonlight and fragile as glass.
“I was about thirteen. I guess Brother Joshua noticed I wasn’t a little girl anymore. He grabbed me one day out behind the barn.” A shudder went through her. “He kissed me. I don’t know what else he might have done, but my aunt came out and caught us.”
“Caught him,” he corrected, managing to keep his voice gentle in spite of the anger that raced through his veins like fire. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That’s not how they saw it.” Her throat worked with the effort to swallow. “He said it was my fault. Said my hair was an invitation to vanity and a trap for men.” Her fingers seemed to have tangled in the lock of hair. “So they chopped it off in a crewcut, like a boy’s.”
His fury at them was like a backdraft, sending a wall of flame soaring, destroying everything in its path. It was probably good they were both dead, or he’d have wanted to track them down and punish them himself.
Somehow he choked the anger down. He clasped her fingers, drawing them gently free of her hair and then stroking the lock of hair smooth again.
“They were wrong,” he said when he could trust himself to speak. “Criminally wrong. Evil. You do know that, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I know that intellectually. Sometimes my emotions are a different story, though. I hear their voices when I least expect it.”
He touched her cheek gently, turning her face toward him. “That’s letting them win. You can’t let them win.”
“I try. Believe me, I try.” She looked up at him then, her eyes huge and lost.
He was lost, too. He couldn’t stop caring for her, no matter how impossible it was.
And he couldn’t stop the urge to kiss her. It wasn’t the wise thing to do, but he couldn’t help himself.
His palm cradled her cheek, and her skin was silk against his. “Nolie.” He said her name softly, watching her eyes darken as she realized he was going to kiss her.
Her lips parted, and the pulse in her neck hammered against his hand. Neither of them could stop this. It was inevitable.
His lips found hers, and she moved into his arms with a tiny sigh. His hands moved on the silky stuff of her dress, then on the warm, smooth skin of her shoulders. He drew her even closer, shaken by the storm of emotions that demanded he hold her, protect her, keep her close by his side forever.
Forever. The word was like a spray of cold water. Nolie, sweet, vulnerable Nolie, would expect forever. He couldn’t hurt her.
He touched her face again, drawing back a fraction of an inch, and pressed a line of kisses across her cheek. His brain and his body didn’t seem able to work together. He had to stop. But maybe he’d at least managed to wipe out that ugly memory and replace it with a better one.
“Nolie.” He said her name more firmly as he forced his lips away from her skin. “You are a beautiful, desirable woman. They don’t have power over you anymore.” He stroked her hair. “They’re gone, and you’re here. You’re a success. You won.”
Her eyes were huge and more than a little dazed. She drew back slightly, still in the circle of his arms. He saw reason replace the dazed look, and he knew it was time to move onto firmer ground.
He had to. But it was tempting, so tempting, to stay right here in the clouds with Nolie in his arms.
* * *
She couldn’t let Gabe know how much his kisses had affected her. Nolie took a careful step backward, cold suddenly at the distance between them.
She didn’t want the moment to end, but it had to. She could see that in Gabe’s eyes. He was already wondering why he’d kissed her, probably reminding himself of the distance between them and the disagreement that seemed so irrevocable.
Even if things could work out between them, now wasn’t the time. Maybe, after Gabe’s training was finished, but not now. And probably once he was free of the training program, he wouldn’t want her in his life as a constant reminder of this difficult time.
“Maybe we ought to go back inside.” She managed to keep her voice as calm as if she hadn’t just been rocked to her very soul by his kisses. “We are working tonight, after all.”
“Right.” Gabe moved away a step, as careful as she had been. “Max is probably wondering where we are.”
That’s right. Take this lightly. Pretend you haven’t just been kissing the man you can’t help loving.
She turned and let him pilot her back into the room. The dancers still circled, the lights still shone. They might never have been gone.
But they had. And she, at least, had been changed by what had happened between them. She could only hope she didn’t wear a starry-eyed look that would alert everyone in the room to what they’d been doing.
Max, ears pricked forward, watched them as they approached. His velvet eyes seemed to look at them knowingly.
Well, even if Max knew, he couldn’t tell anyone.
Besides, there was nothing wrong with kissing Gabe. Even if nothing ever came of it, it wasn’t wrong to kiss him.
As Claire had said, they wouldn’t be working together forever. Then—well, then she’d see. If Gabe wanted to continue seeing her, he knew where she was.
“Good boy, Maxie.” She patted her knee, letting the dog know it was okay to get up.
He stood, stretching elaborately, then walked over to Gabe and sat down at his side, waiting for Gabe’s praise. Gabe ruffled his ears.
“Good boy.”
She tried to ignore the slight pang in her heart. Max was transferring his allegiance to Gabe. That was the way it should be. Now, if she could just make Gabe see that the dog should continue to be a part of his life, she probably shouldn’t ask for more.
Gabe lifted an eyebrow as he looked toward her, his hand on Max’s head. “What do you think? Can we blow this joint yet?”
People were starting to filter out the doors. “I guess so. As far as I know, my duties ended with being introduced. Everything else was icing.”
The meal, the dancing, that was what she meant. She certainly didn’t mean being kissed senseless on the veranda, did she?
Gabe handed her the small black evening bag Claire had provided with the dress. “I guess we’re ready, then.”
They’d reached the hallway when Nolie saw a rotund figure in a black tuxedo hurrying toward them.
“Ms. Lang. Mr. Flanagan.” Mr. Henley extended a hand to each of them. “I’m glad you were able to make it tonight.” He was as gracious as if this hadn’t been a command performance. “I hope you enjoyed yourselves.”
“It was a lovely event.” She could only hope her heightened color didn’t give away which part of the evening she’d found most lovely. “Thank you for inviting us.”
“A pleasure.” His attention had shifted to Max. “And this is one of your talented animals.”
“This is Max, the dog who has been training with Mr. Flanagan.”
He held out his hand to Max, who sniffed politely and then let himself be patted. “He’s quite the gentleman, isn’t he?” He glanced at Gabe, making it clear that he expected a response from him. “Or shouldn’t I be patting him when he’s on duty?”
“It’s all right.”
Gabe’s answer wasn’t exactly forthcoming, but at least he’d said something.
“We don’t encourage people to play with a seizure-alert dog when he’s on duty, but it won’t distract him to be introduced.” She hoped her explanation masked Gabe’s shortness.
Mr. Henley nodded gravely. “I see.” Again he looked at Gabe. “And how is the training working out?”
Please. She found herself pleading silently with Gabe. Say something positive. Please.
“It’s going very well.” Gabe seemed to respond to her thoughts. “Max is a well-trained animal, and the work Nolie does with her clients and the animals is really amazing.” He patted Max. “I hope you’re going to look favorably on her grant request. Having seen her work in action, I can only say she deserves it.”
She’d be more gratified by his words if he weren’t putting himself so carefully out of the picture. Still, she should be happy he was willing to say that much.
“We’re looking forward to seeing that in person.” Henley smiled, carefully evasive.
“Seeing it in person?” she echoed. What was he talking about?
“Well, naturally the board won’t be willing to give so substantial a grant without a demonstration of your program in action,” Henley said.
Naturally.
She swallowed. “I thought you were just expecting a report on Mr. Flanagan’s experience with the program.”
He swept that aside with an expansive gesture. “Reports are all very well, but nothing substitutes for seeing the program ourselves. I’ll have my secretary call you to set up a time for the board to visit.”
“Of course. Anytime.” What else could she say? She didn’t have to look at Gabe to guess his response to the idea.
“We’ll have a look around your facility, and you can show us exactly what you do. Of course, seeing Mr. Flanagan work with the dog and hearing his testimony will be the highlight of the visit.”
“I’m not sure—”
He clapped Gabe on the shoulder, seeming not to notice how stiff he was. “There’s nothing like hearing from a disabled hero to sway public opinion, as I’m sure you realize.”
Luckily Gabe didn’t say anything, since whatever he might say to the idea was probably unprintable.
“Thank you. I’ll look forward to seeing you, then.”
She edged past the man, grateful when his attention seemed to be caught by someone behind them. Gabe was already halfway out the door, and she scurried after him.
She didn’t catch up with him until she reached the bottom of the steps, where he was handing the ticket to the parking attendant. The man trotted off, leaving them momentarily alone in the dim light.
Still, it didn’t take too much light to decipher the expression on Gabe’s face. He was furious.
“I didn’t know that was what the foundation board had in mind.” She hurried to get the words out first. “No one ever said they expected a demonstration.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He clipped the words off.
She could only stare at him. “It doesn’t?”
“It doesn’t matter whether you expected it or not. I won’t do it.”
Her heart sank. She’d known that would be his reaction, but—
“Gabe, you heard him. He’s looking forward to seeing you work with Max. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”
He looked at her as if she’d suggested he leap off the barn roof. “He doesn’t want a simple display of what the dog can do. If he did, you could give a better demonstration with Danny and Lady, you know that.”
“But—”
“He wants testimony. You heard him. He wants testimony from the disabled hero.” He spat the words out. “He wants me to get up there and talk about how I have to depend on the dog to get me through the day.”
You do, Gabe. Why won’t you realize that?
“I won’t do it. If I stood up in public and said that, it would mean an end to my career. I can’t. And I won’t.”
His voice was flat. Final.