“You’re going where?” Gabe frowned at his mother.
“You heard me. We’re going to Nolie’s. The least she deserves from the Flanagan family is a bit of support when she confronts the foundation board.” She gave him what the Flanagan siblings generally referred to as the look. “You should be there as well, Gabriel.”
Terry and his father stood waiting by the door, their expressions indicating that they were fresh out of sympathy for him.
“I can’t.” He clamped his mouth shut on the word. He wasn’t about to start explaining himself to every member of his family. “But if you’re going, you may as well take Max back to Nolie.”
Max looked up from his spot on the living-room rug at the sound of his name, his tail waving gently.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to do that yourself.” His usually gentle mother seemed to have undergone a transformation since Dad had come home from the hospital. “That’s your responsibility, not ours.”
She marched out with Dad and Terry following, the snap of the door reflecting her annoyance with him.
He frowned at Max. He never should have brought the dog home with him from the farm the day before, but by the time he’d realized that Terry had put Max in the car, he hadn’t wanted to go back to the barn for an anticlimactic conversation with Nolie about him.
“Sorry, boy. Nothing personal. But Nolie might as well give you to someone who needs you.”
The dog’s tail waved again at the sound of Nolie’s name. Looked as if both of them were stuck with a reaction to that sound. How long would it take him to get over that?
Maybe never.
He rubbed the throbbing that had been going on in his temples since he’d walked out on Nolie the day before. Why did she have to make this so hard? She could just have agreed to do what he wanted.
No, she couldn’t. She’s not that kind of a person. You should have known that before you asked it of her.
His conscience seemed to speak in time with the pounding in his head. Maybe another hour of sleep would help.
“I’m going upstairs to lie down, Max. You stay.”
Before he’d reached the steps the dog was there. Max put that big yellow body of his across the bottom of the staircase and barked at him.
“What’s the matter with you?” The dog was about as stubborn as Nolie was. “Get out of the way.”
Max whined, obviously distressed. He took a step or two away from the stairs, but instead of letting Gabe start up, he shoved him toward the center of the rug.
“Get away, Max.” His head was spinning so badly he could barely focus on the dog. “Leave me alone.”
Max barked again, sharply, and then put his shoulder against Gabe’s legs, pushing him away from the lamp table.
Gabe stumbled. Felt himself losing control. Saw the carpet coming up to meet him as blackness poured over him in a sickening wave.
His last conscious thought was that Max had done just what Nolie hoped he would—he’d sensed the seizure coming on and warned him.
He didn’t have any idea how long it was until he came to awareness again—maybe seconds, maybe an hour. The warm, strong body of the dog was curved protectively against him and the cushioned carpet cradled his body. Max was responsible. The dog had made certain he didn’t hurt himself when he fell.
Max whined. Then, as if he knew the worst was over, he licked Gabe’s face.
The worst was over. He repeated the words in his mind as he struggled to overcome the lassitude that seemed to settle into his bones. He put his arms around Max, leaning on his strength.
He couldn’t ignore this seizure. It had been worse than the last, not slighter. And he’d been taking the meds regularly.
I can’t let you put yourself and other people in danger.
Nolie’s voice rattled in his head, bringing with it a vivid image of just how bad it would be to have a seizure when he was on the job.
Anger swept through him like a flame caught by the wind. Why, God? Why did You let this happen to me? How could You do this to me? Haven’t I always tried to do what You wanted? Why are You taking away the thing I want most in the world? It’s not fair.
Max whined, as if sensing his anger and not knowing what to do with it. He turned his face into Max’s fur. He couldn’t pretend any longer.
His life as a firefighter was over, at least for now. Maybe forever. Tears stung his eyes and soaked into the dog’s coat as he grieved for the life that he’d lost.
When, finally, he was still, he seemed to hear again the Voice that whispered in his heart.
There are other things for you to do. Good things. Your life isn’t over. It’s just beginning.
Nolie had said she’d taken the first step toward healing when she’d let herself be angry with God. It looked as if she’d been right. He couldn’t be spiritually whole until he’d let out the anger he’d been hiding deep inside.
Nolie. He could almost see the love in her eyes. Nolie had overcome far worse things than this, and she’d gone on to do good work. She deserved a chance to do even more, and he was letting her down.
“This is no time to be unable to drive,” he told Max as he fumbled in his pocket for his cell phone. “We have to get to Nolie.”
He had to. Whether there could be anything between them he didn’t know, but he had to help her. If standing up in front of his family and the foundation board and admitting his disability would do that, that’s what he’d do. If he could get there in time.
“Please,” he murmured, just as Brendan answered the phone.
* * *
“Are you sure you understand what I want you and Lady to do?”
Nolie looked down at Danny with concern. The boy seemed unusually nervous about this. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked it of him, but without Gabe to talk to the foundation board, what else could she do? Someone had to demonstrate the value of her work.
“I guess so.” Danny ruffled Lady’s fur, and the dog pressed closer to the wheelchair as if she felt his tension. “I just wish Gabe was here.”
The knife in her heart twisted a little. Maybe someday she would get used to the pain.
“I know,” she said softly. “I wish that, too.”
“Why isn’t he?” Danny focused on her face, his eyes wide and a little frightened. “Doesn’t he like us anymore?”
Me, not you. It’s me he doesn’t like.
“Of course he likes us.” She put her arms around Danny for a quick hug. “It’s just—well, it’s like we talked about once. Grown-ups sometimes don’t act in a very grown-up way when they care a lot about something. Gabe has some problems he has to work out.”
Or not. She’d done everything she could to reach him, and she’d failed.
They’d talked about that the day Gabe had rescued her from Danny’s father. She’d never forget the look on Gabe’s face that day. He’d cared about her—she knew it.
He just hadn’t cared enough.
“I hope he works them out soon. I want to see him.” Danny’s words were an echo of what was in her heart.
She couldn’t let herself obsess about Gabe now. She’d have plenty of time later to mourn what they might have been to each other. For now, she had to concentrate on the next task.
She bent to bring her face close to Danny’s. “You’re going to do fine, Danny. You and Lady are great together.”
He nodded, a look of determination on his thin face. “We’ll do it. We won’t let you down.”
“That’s my hero.” She hugged him again.
Danny patted her shoulder, as if he were the adult and she were the child. “Gabe’ll come back. I know he will.”
“I hope so. Either way, we’re going to be fine.”
Her throat was tight, but Danny’s courage seemed to clear her mind. She glanced across the training center to see Siobhan, Terry and Joe sitting in the folding chairs behind the foundation board. But not Gabe.
She’d done all she could. She’d tried her best to be faithful. All she could do now was trust that God would work this situation out for the best.
Please, Father…
She looked up again and saw Gabe and Max walk slowly through the door.
Her heart began thudding against her ribs. She waited for him to join his family. Instead he crossed the floor toward her and Danny.
She tried to analyze his expression. He had shadows under his eyes that she hadn’t seen before. But he also looked as if he’d come to a conclusion that had brought him peace.
Maybe he’d come up with some other way to convince the chief to let him back on the job. She couldn’t think of anything else that would put that look in his eyes.
“Hi, Gabe.” Danny’s face was suffused with joy. “I knew you’d come. I told Nolie so.”
Gabe ruffled his hair. “I couldn’t miss this. How are you doing, buddy?”
“Scared,” Danny said. “I didn’t want to do this all by myself.”
Gabe’s eyes met hers, and her pulse rate shot up. “How about you?”
“Scared, too.” She clenched and unclenched her hands. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“I’m here.” He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “I couldn’t let my buddy do this all by himself.”
“That’s good.” She managed a smile. That was it, then. He’d come out of loyalty to Danny.
Well, what else could she expect? He’d try to convince the board her program was worthwhile. That was all she could hope for.
“Ms. Lang?” Mr. Henley’s voice echoed across the room. “Are we about ready to start?”
“Right away,” she called back.
She divided her smile between man and boy. “I’ll be right over by the board members, explaining to them everything you’re doing. You’ll be great.”
She hoped. Please, Father. It’s in Your hands now.
* * *
One way or another, he would get the grant for Nolie. Her work was too important to let this slip away. As for whatever else might happen between them—
Well, that would have to wait until this was settled.
Nolie was already telling the group what they were about to see. He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder.
“Okay?”
“I’m a little bit scared about the gate.” Danny looked down at the hands that wouldn’t always do what he wanted.
“Try to pretend no one else is here. Just you and Lady, me and Max. It’ll be like the day you and Lady showed us how to do it. Remember that?”
A faint smile showed. “I remember. I missed you when you weren’t here.”
It was like a punch to the heart. Hurting Nolie had been bad, and hurting a child was even worse, if possible.
“I’ve been a jerk lately, Danny. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I told Nolie you wouldn’t let us down.”
His heart eased a bit. “You did, did you? What did Nolie say to that?”
Danny’s face relaxed in a grin. “She said sometimes grown-ups don’t act very grown up.”
Maybe that meant she’d forgive him. “I’m not sure I’m grown up yet, but I will try.”
“Like my dad.” Danny nodded toward the audience. “Did you see? He’s here. I want to do a good job so he’ll be proud of me.”
“You know what? My dad’s here, too.” And he had similar feelings to Danny’s. How would his father take the news that Gabe would no longer be a firefighter?
He wasn’t going to express any doubt to Danny. “I happen to think they’ll both be proud of us, even if we make a mistake.”
Nolie was introducing them. His stomach felt about the way it had when he’d run on the field for his first Little League game.
“Here we go,” he whispered. “Remember, I’ll be right behind you.”
Be behind both of us, Father.
They moved toward the first obstacle, with Nolie explaining the differences in how the dogs worked with each of them. He kept his eyes fixed on Danny, a prayer forming in his heart, knowing that Nolie was probably praying the same prayer now, too.
He began to relax as they went through the familiar routine. Both dogs, seeming to know they had an audience, performed flawlessly.
Finally Danny and Lady approached the gate, the final obstacle. He held his breath.
You can do it, Danny. I know you can.
The boy reached for the latch, struggling to make his fingers work. He almost had it. Lady, sensing his tension, pushed too soon, and the latch snapped shut.
Danny’s small face tightened, as if he held back tears, and Gabe’s heart ached for him.
“Easy,” he said softly. His fingers twitched with the longing to do it for him, but that wouldn’t help Danny. “Slow and steady, remember?”
The boy bit his lip and nodded. Again he reached for the latch. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he pushed it to the open position. Instantly Lady’s shoulder was against the gate, opening it.
Danny turned toward him, grinning, and gave him the thumbs-up sign as the audience, including the foundation board, burst into applause.
Heart overflowing with pride and thanksgiving, Gabe returned the signal. He looked at Nolie. Her eyes were bright with tears, and her smile trembled.
He knew what she was thinking. Was this going to be enough to convince them? There was one more obstacle he had to face, and it was the hardest one.
Crossing the space between them, he joined Nolie. “If it’s all right with you, I’d like to address the board.”
She nodded.
He moved toward the table, taking a moment to glance at the people in the rows of chairs behind the foundation board. Danny’s parents, the families of several other of Nolie’s clients. The chief. Dad, Mom, Terry. Seth, in uniform, must have come straight from the station, and he stood next to Ryan. The Flanagans were out in force. Even Brendan, who’d driven him here, sat next to Nolie’s friend, Claire.
The sight distracted him for a moment. Brendan had better be careful. That woman would have him for lunch.
He wouldn’t have chosen this public spot to tell the people in his life, but this was how it had worked out. He looked at Nolie, and his jittery nerves stilled.
This was for Nolie.
* * *
Nolie clasped her hands in front of her, then realized how tense that must look and dropped them to her sides. There was probably no hope for that—her nervousness must be apparent to anyone who looked at her. Her future could be riding on what Gabe said to the board.
If Gabe told them he didn’t need Max, it could sway them away from funding her no matter what else he said.
Please, Father, she began, and then remembered her earlier prayer. I put it in Your hands.
Once again the tension slid away, and she was able to listen to Gabe without fearing the results.
“You’ve heard all about the program Ms. Lang runs here.” He seemed relaxed, one hand resting lightly on Max’s head. “There’s probably very little additional information I can give you. However, I would like to speak about my personal experience with Nolie’s Ark.”
The board members watched him intently. Probably all of them knew that Samuel Henley had been instrumental in putting Gabe into the program as a test case.
“I would like to say, first, that this program deserves your support regardless of whether my training with the seizure alert dog was successful. You’ve seen some of her amazing results for yourselves.”
A few head nods among the board members, but Nolie’s heart sank. How impressed would they be if Gabe declared he didn’t need the dog?
You could tell them about his seizure, a voice whispered temptingly in her mind. You could say he’s not being fair to the program.
No, she couldn’t. No matter what happened, she wouldn’t do that to him.
“But the fact is that the training I’ve had here has been successful.”
Gabe glanced toward her, and she could only stare back at him.
“As some of you may know, I received an injury on the job that caused me to have seizures.” His voice seemed to deepen on the words that couldn’t be easy for him to speak. “I had hoped that the condition was only temporary, and frankly, I fought participating in the program at all.”
His gaze seemed to sweep the audience then, and she knew he was watching his parents’ reaction.
“But this morning I had another seizure, a bad one. And I want to tell you that the dog Ms. Lang trained for me performed beyond anything I could have imagined.”
Her heart clenched painfully, hurting for him. Another seizure. Gabe must have been devastated.
“Max knew the seizure was coming before I did. He kept me from starting up the stairs, knowing that I could have been seriously injured if the seizure had hit there.” He smiled down at the dog. “He pushed me into a safe location in spite of my objections. If it hadn’t been for Max, I’m not sure what might have happened.”
Her throat was so tight she couldn’t have spoken if she’d had to. But she didn’t have to. Gabe was saying it all.
“So you see, I’m a textbook example of what Ms. Lang’s program can do. She helps so many people, and she deserves the chance to help many more. Please, be sure that Nolie’s Ark can continue its work. A lot of people with disabilities, like Danny and me, are counting on you.”
Applause swept the room as he finished. Danny gave him a thumbs-up sign.
The tears she’d been trying to hold back spilled over, and she put her hands to her face to wipe them away, smiling.
She didn’t know whether the foundation board would agree with Gabe or not, but either way, she had won.