Chapter 5

 

 

My phone beeped with a text message the next morning. I had somehow dragged myself to work after a sleepless night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them and it was the most effective form of torture in the world.

I checked my phone to find the message was from Theo. He wanted to see whether I was up for a hook up at lunch time. Was he kidding? After seeing them together last night? Having sex was the last thing I wanted.

But I responded with an affirmative answer anyway. I needed to see Theo privately and a hotel room would ensure we couldn’t be overheard or seen together.

My stomach was in knots all morning. When lunch time came, I was nothing but a bundle of nerves being held together with a loose piece of string. One little tug and I would unravel like a cheap rug.

We never met at the same hotel twice, making sure nobody got too familiar with us. I guess a part of the reason why I put up with the whole situation was because it felt like we were doing something wrong. Sneaking around, covert meetings, being anonymous, it all made our secret liaisons salacious.

Except today.

I paced the hotel room, my bare feet padding on the thick carpet while I waited for Theo. He was late, which wasn’t like him. After the unsettling events of the night before, any change to the routine sent up a glaring red flag.

Knocking on the door made me skitter to it in a hurry. I pulled it open, relieved to see Theo like never before. I was completely on edge, about to tip over with the slightest of breezes.

Instantly, he swept me up into a hug. “I don’t have much time but I really wanted to see you today,” he mumbled between kisses down my neck.

I pushed him away, determined not to get lost in his body. We needed words today; I needed to have a conversation. One that had been brewing for weeks now.

“Hey, we need to talk.”

His body completely tensed up, nothing but steel instead of flesh. He let me go and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at me expectantly. “What do you want to talk about?”

“We can’t keep going on like this,” I started. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was brave enough to speak everything that was plaguing my mind. “Last night, seeing you two together, I can’t take it anymore. I should be your date, not her.”

“You know I can’t right now. Soon, we’ll be able to be rid of Ronnie and we won’t have to see her ever again. You know that, Ivy.”

“I don’t want to wait any longer. It’s killing me. I can’t share you.”

He stood up and closed the gap between us, taking my hands in his own. He looked down at me with those blue eyes that could melt panties. “It’s killing me, too.”

“So dump her. It doesn’t matter about your job, we’ll work it out. We’ll sort it all out together,” I pleaded. I was well aware of the fact I was fighting for the man I loved right then and there. The conversation could go either way.

“But it does matter about my job. You’re not going to want an unemployed bum for a boyfriend. I’m doing this for our future, not just for me.”

“I would take an unemployed bum over someone else’s boyfriend any day.”

“Ivy…”

“No, don’t, Theo,” I cut him off. We’d had the same conversation too many times for it to have any effect on either of us. I couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t. “If you don’t make a decision and give her the flick, then I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I mean it this time.”

He looked like I had taken my hand and slapped him with it. I hated giving him an ultimatum but I was dying inside sharing him. Nobody should have to live like this. I loved him, and I thought he loved me too, but not even love was enough for a three-way relationship.

Theo let my hands drop to my sides as he took a step back. His hands slid into his pockets. “I can’t break free of her yet. I need more time.”

“Time’s up, Theo. It’s time to choose what’s most important in your life. Me or your job.”

One more glance at his beautiful face told me he was speechless. It spoke volumes about what was going on inside his brain.

I’d issued the ultimatum and I’d lost.

There was nothing more to do than leave. I slid my shoes back on and slammed the hotel door behind me. The tears started to sting my eyes by the time I reached the elevator.

For the whole time we were dating, Theo had never truly been mine. I had fooled myself over and over again, used a multitude of excuses to keep myself going.

He was probably never going to leave her. She was good for his career, the boss’s daughter, the perfect socialite. I was just a shadow of her, a pale comparison that had been an easy lay.

God, how did I get so stupid?