Sophie’s indecision nagged her the rest of the week. In a town as small as Zutphen, she’d probably run into him. So she didn’t call him, but she kept her eyes open for him — at the roller rink, at the grocery store, wherever there were tall, blond guys. Which, in this town, was everywhere.
Getting ready for Wednesday night church, her unease flared up again. Nate’s parents attended Zutphen church, and if Nate was staying with them, he’d probably be there. She began her rehearsal with the kids by closing the door firmly, as if closing him out of her thoughts. For some reason, the children behaved, and they seemed to know what they were doing. The twins, now that various family members took turns sitting with them, settled down and participated in the rehearsal. She’d almost forgotten about Nate until she was on her way out of the church.
Nate’s parents followed her.
“Hello there, Sophie. How have you been?” Lila Vosman asked.
“I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”
“We’re just wonderful, now that Nate is back. He told me he saw you at the mall a few days ago.”
“Yes, that was quite a surprise. I didn’t know he was coming back.”
“We didn’t either, until he showed up at our door.” She leaned toward Sophie as if sharing a secret. “I think he missed you.”
Sophie chose to ignore that comment. “Did Nate come tonight?”
“No, he had to work. He works every night except Sunday and Tuesday. He’ll be in church on Sunday morning.”
Great, I have another four days to decide whether or not to call him.
~~~~
On Sunday morning, Sophie sat with her sister’s family in the front pew. That wasn’t their usual place to sit, but today little Abigail would be baptized. Just before the organ prelude ended, the Vosman family slipped into the pew behind them. Nate entered the pew behind his mother, casting a nod her way before sitting down. Though Pastor Sikkema delivered his usual rousing sermon, Sophie barely heard it at all. Most of her energy was taken up resisting the urge to turn and look at Nate. She tried to block out all thoughts of him, but questions kept running through her mind. Was he visiting his parents, or had he moved back? Was he here to stay? What had happened to his acting career? She’d caught a glimpse of him in a commercial or two. And his first few letters to her had been full of casting calls and callbacks and promises of success. He’d even hinted at a few writing jobs for her. But then suddenly the letters and emails had stopped. She’d assumed he’d found someone else.
She gave herself a mental shake. She was here in church to listen and learn, not to dwell on her own thoughts. But it was no use. She woke up once when Joanie, Dave, and Joey rose for the baptism. Sophie stayed seated, though Joanie gave her a stare and crooked her head toward the front. Sophie shook her head. No, she wasn’t really a part of the family. She watched, smiled, and clapped when Pastor Sikkema took the baby up and down the center aisle to introduce her to the congregation. Each time she witnessed one of these, her heart ached a little for the children she’d hoped to have by now.
Before she knew it, the congregation was standing for the final hymn. And then the organist began playing the postlude and everyone turned to leave. She made to follow Dave and Joanie.
“Sophie,” a soft baritone voice called from behind her. His hand touched her shoulder.
She schooled her expression to one of polite interest before turning around. “Hi, Nate. What a surprise. Are you visiting your folks for the holiday?” The pitch of her voice seemed a bit high, but otherwise she was proud of the way she held it together.
Nate grimaced. “I guess you could say that. I’m here for an extended visit.”
“You must be between projects. Say, I’d love to chat, but I’ve got to get to the choir room for Sunday School.”
“All right. But, Sophie, we need to talk. Can I call you?”
She hesitated. “Sure. The number’s the same.” She scooted off before either of them could say more. If she stayed, she’d probably turn into a blubbering mess, demanding to know why he’d stopped writing and calling.
Why he’d stopped caring.
~~~~
On the other side of the aisle, Mitch watched the tall, lanky guy who’d stopped Sophie. Who was he? She didn’t seem all that excited to see him. He’d been sitting with Herb and Lila Vosman. Was he one of the Vosman boys, or was he a guest? Herbert Vosman was the town’s barber — he cut hair for the men at the Gentleman’s Cut, while his wife Lila worked on the local women next door in the Ladies’ Clip. He’d heard Herb talk about his son the actor in California and had seen pictures of him on the wall. This kid looked like the handsome young man in the eight-by-ten glossies. He’d be about Sophie’s age.
Why was he worried about the men who may or may not be part of Sophie’s life? She’d grown up there, and she already knew everyone. Work, that’s what he needed. Maybe editing his photos would distract him from this obsession with Sophie and whatever man she happened to talk to. He took Angie to Sunday School and went home. But before he booted his computer, he set a timer so that he wouldn’t be late picking her up. Melinda might be off his back, but he had no intention of leaving his daughter unattended.
Thanksgiving had gone much better than he’d expected. It had been great having his family around, especially after the confrontation with Melinda. And thanks to his kind-hearted daughter, he’d kept his relationship with his father-in-law. But even with all those people in his house, he hadn’t been able to help missing Sophie. She would have fit right in with his family. Much better than Sarah had. He’d always attributed Sarah’s unease at the Carson family gatherings to shyness. But deep inside he’d known she really couldn’t identify with their working class concerns, their casual dress, and their simple hearty menus.
Yes, he’d learned his lesson. Stick to your own kind, his grandmother had told him. He’d thought then she was being narrow-minded, but if he’d listened to her, things might have turned out different. Of course, then he wouldn’t have Angie. And he couldn’t regret having her, no matter what.
Sophie came from working stock, like him. She’d grown up in this small town, and had values like those he’d been raised with, and like he wanted to pass on to Angie. But she didn’t want to stay. Or had her plans changed? She hadn’t mentioned moving lately. And she hadn’t shied away when he’d hugged her at the mall.
Was there a chance for them?