The gym seemed smaller than usual as I stepped out from the boys’ locker room. After leaving the cafeteria, I’d spent the remainder of lunch trying to shut things from my mind. So far, it’d been useless. It was like a secret world had been unveiled, one in which we were under some sort of alien control. Everything I had taken for granted I now questioned. Every glance, every laugh, every moment held secrets. I wished for a key that could decipher what was happening around me. Instead, nothing made sense.

“Hi, Stu,” Gretchen said, smiling.

“Hi,” I replied without enthusiasm.

“I hope this unit doesn’t last long,” she whispered. “I love ballet. It’s real art. My teacher says that square dancing is just for people who don’t want to take the time to learn how to really dance.”

Hey, that sounded like me. “Yeah,” I replied.

“Today,” Mr. Snedaker began, “we’re going to practice forming squares and getting lined up correctly.”

Apparently, the square in square dancing is there for a reason. Mr. Snedaker explained that four couples together form a “square.” This meant separating into groups throughout the gym. Creating a square with eight people who were trying desperately not to make eye contact wasn’t easy. Every few minutes, Mr. Snedaker would repeat, “Gentlemen, she’s not going to bite.” Clearly, he hadn’t been with us on the playground in first grade.

Just as we thought the worst was over, he had us form new groups. This was enough to send some of the boys over the edge. I ended up across from Ryan. He looked like a little boy next to his mother. Debbie was so large she could have pounded Ryan into the ground like a tent pole. At the sight of Gretchen, Ryan straightened up, almost enough for his head to reach Debbie’s shoulder. By the time we were all in our correct positions, the bell sounded.

“Be prepared tomorrow,” Mr. Snedaker called as we shuffled out, “for the real dancing to begin.”

“That wasn’t too bad,” Ben said as we headed across the lawn to class.

“Are you out of your mind?” Tyler spat out. “I may never breathe right again.”

“Shut up,” Ryan said. “I look like a circus midget next to Debbie.”

“That’s true,” I added.

“Maybe we should get together and practice after school,” Ben said, laughing.

“Yeah, you can be the girl,” Tyler said.

“That won’t work,” I added. “His head’s too big.”

Ben gave me a shove. “Mama, hold me. I’m heading for the light.”

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your best friend is strangle him. If only his neck weren’t so thick.

Ben giggled. “Thanks for the neck massage.”

Really. How did I put up with that guy?